Meant to Be (3 page)

I made my way down the next row, which was
comprised of every kind of paper and writing utensil you could
think of. Walking down the row slowly, I picked out a gel pen in
purple. I tried it out on the scribble pad mounted to the rack and
liked the easy flow of the ink.
It would make a good pen for
school
, I thought, and picked out three more in different
colors.

I browsed the shelves for a few more minutes
with my mom, but I quickly became bored. I didn’t have one lick of
artistic ability in my whole body and looking at artistic stuff
only reminded me of my shortcomings.

“Mom, I’m going to go check out the bookstore
across the street. I want to see if they got in that new book I’ve
been waiting for.” I said, handing her the four pens I had picked
out.

“That’s fine, honey. I’ll be over there in a
little while,” she said giving a preoccupied half wave of her
hand.

I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I headed
out the door. I had seen that look on her face many times and knew
it would be a while until she joined me. I couldn’t say anything
though; I knew that I often had that same look when I browsed the
shelves of a bookstore. My mom always joked that when I entered a
bookstore, I crossed into the “Twilight Zone,” but I couldn’t help
it. I always seemed to lose track of time while I browsed the
shelves of books and minutes could easily turn into hours.

I crossed the street and entered the quaint
bookstore. The store was lit by multiple lamps set out on small
tables, periodically throughout the store. The walls were painted a
rich dusky rose color, which should have been all wrong, but it
wasn’t, the soft light of the lamps glowed on the walls, giving the
whole store a nice warm welcoming feel to it.

I took a deep appreciative sniff as I entered
the store. There was nothing like the smell of books, both new and
old. If someone ever bottled the smell, I would be all over it.

I browsed the used section for a few minutes,
checking to see if anything jumped out at me by any of my favorite
authors that I may have missed. I jumped about a mile when I felt
something brush against my leg. Looking down startled, I was
relieved to see that it was just a cat rubbing at my feet.

I squatted down to pet him, as he rubbed
against my legs purring his approval over my attention.

“Aren’t you the sweetest of kitties?”

“He’s just spoiled,” a voice said behind me.
I turned and found myself facing an attractive older woman wearing
a t-shirt with the store logo on it.

“He seems happy here,” I replied, blushing
slightly. Talking to new people was always tough on me and even
with my secret rule of no physical contact; I always seemed to get
an intuitive insight to their current emotions.

“Oh, he is. Most customers don’t mind him
around so he gets lots of free attention. Was there anything I can
help you find?”

“I’m looking for the Johanna Knox novel. Have
you gotten it in yet?” I asked, blushing less this time. I was
relieved that the clerk was so friendly and seemed to give out a
positive vibe.

“They just came in. I haven’t emptied the box
yet, but if you give me a few minutes, I’ll pull one out for
you.”

“That’s great.” I said, marveling at my luck.
“I love your store; you have a nice selection of books. It’s great
to find a store that combines used and new books.”

“So do I, which is why I originally opened
this store. I wanted to give this area a nice place to relax and
enjoy their favorite books.”

“Well, I’m glad you did, it’s hard to find a
good bookstore that gives you the freedom to browse,” I said with a
smile.

“I’m glad you like it. I’ll go unpack those
books for you. Look around and then checkout the reading area I set
up in the back of the store,” she told me as she headed toward a
small stack of boxes.

I was happy about my good fortune, and could
already tell I would be spending many hours here in the future. I
continued to look around, periodically pulling books off the
shelves that caught my eye as I explored the store.

I couldn’t help the happy sigh that escaped
me when I saw the big overstuffed chairs set up for reading, and
sighed again with contentment when I sat down.

My mom found me there an hour later with my
nose stuck in the new book the clerk had kindly unpacked for
me.

“Sorry I took so long, I couldn’t decide what
to buy,” she said as she sat next to me in the other overstuffed
chair. “Wow! These are great; remind me why we bought Lazy Boys and
not these chairs?”

I raised my eyebrows at the many bags sitting
at her feet. She just shrugged her shoulders.

“I know aren’t they great?” I asked, deciding
not to comment on the bags. She looked guilty enough, when she
shouldn’t be. “I love this store. The woman who owns it seems very
nice and you should see her cat roaming around like he owns the
place. Maybe I could try to get a summer job here,” I said
thoughtfully.

It would be fantastic to earn money working
at a bookstore. I had been dreading the idea of finding a job, but
I knew I needed to find something to do for summer break. At least
if I worked at a bookstore, I might get a discount on the
merchandise.

Before we left the store, I worked up the
nerve to ask the owner for an application. The owner seemed pleased
by my interest and told me to return it as soon as possible, that
she would be hiring her summer help within the next month or
so.

I felt lighthearted as we left the store. One
less thing to worry about was definitely a plus in my book.

The drive to the Boardwalk was short and soon
we were pulling into the parking lot. My mom grabbed some change
out of the center console to feed the meter.

“Do you want to ride some rides?” she asked
me as we walked across the smooth pavement.

“Not today, I thought it would be fun if we
just walked around. Maybe even walk on the beach for awhile,” I
said trying to sound nonchalant as I subtly faced away from her. I
didn’t want my tell-all blush to giveaway the fact I was hiding
something from her.

The view from the beach was the whole reason
I wanted to visit the amusement park. Of course I couldn’t tell her
the real reason, so I had fabricated a story of wanting to see the
famous amusement park by the sea as an excuse for the outing
today.

Admission to the amusement park was free, so
we were able to stroll right in. The park was busy with families
trying to shove one last, fun day into their final day of spring
break. I smiled as I watched kids run from one ride to next,
followed behind by their parent’s that already looked harassed even
though the park had just opened. Older kids hung out in groups,
trying to look cool without parental supervision. They seemed to
like the roller coaster the most, since the line for that was the
longest. It had a big sign above the entrance proclaiming it as the
“Giant Dipper.” A smaller sign informed riders that it was either 6
tickets or free with the purchase of an arm band.

We continued to stroll around, laughing at
some of the rides, and the sanity of those that choose to ride
them. One in particular caught our eye called “Double Shot,” the
whole purpose of it seemed to be to shoot people 125 feet in the
air at a mind numbing speed.

“No thank you,” my mom murmured as we passed
it, looking slightly green in the face.

I laughed. My mom was definitely not a ride
fanatic. That title had always been reserved for my dad. Just
thinking about him made my heart ache. I couldn’t help thinking how
much he would have enjoyed the Boardwalk, and the atmosphere around
it, with the cool rides and the smell of the ocean.

My mom stopped at one of the vendors to buy
me my promised chocolate in the form of an ice cream. Just the
smell of it made my mouth water. My mom laughed when she saw the
look on my face. I returned the smile sheepishly. What could I say?
Chocolate talked to my soul.

I finished my cone before I finally headed
toward the stairs I had spotted earlier that lead down to the sand.
I was filled with anticipation as we walked down the sandy concrete
steps.

We paused at the bottom stair to remove our
shoes.

I sighed in contentment as my feet touched
the sand. I had been to beaches before, but never on the west
coast. I knew I was crazy to think so, but to me the sand just felt
better here. I loved how nice and cool it was as I dug my toes into
it. Maybe I felt this way because I thought it might be our beach,
the one from my dreams, but I couldn’t help feeling like I belonged
here.

My mom settled on the sand while I walked
toward the ocean, pretending to look for shells. The breeze from
the ocean pulled at the edge of my shirt as I approached the water.
Shivering slightly in the cool sea breeze, I crossed my arms to
hold my shirt in place and dipped my toes in the ice-cold water.
The anticipation made me feel like I was going to burst, but I
looked out at the endless sea for a few minutes as I worked up the
nerve to turn around and see if it was the same amusement park from
my dreams. I wasn’t sure I could handle the disappointment if I was
wrong.

Finally with no further apprehension, I
slowly turned and felt my breath leave me in one big gasp.

I was standing on a spot that I had stood on
hundreds of times. There was no denying that this was indeed the
Boardwalk that I had seen so many times in my dreams. I looked
around quickly, as if expecting to see him, and then shook my head
at how ridiculous it would be if I did. Of course he was not here,
he didn’t even exist.

I must have seen a picture of the Boardwalk
when I was younger and unconsciously added it into my dreams. I
could find no other explanation that would justify why I had dreams
about some place where I had never been.

I tried to contemplate what this could mean.
Was I crazy or could this be real, and if it was real, did that
mean he might actually exist somewhere? I didn’t know what to think
at this point. I had come here today hoping to get some answers;
but ironically, I was more confused than ever.

Chapter 2

“Krista,” my mom called up the stairs the
next morning. “Are you ready for school?”

I glanced one last time in the mirror over my
dresser, and cringed at the faint smudge lines under my eyes.
So
much for cover up
, I thought ruefully. Last night had been
another bad night. I decided to limit my make-up, knowing that to
add blush to a face that turned red from embarrassment so easily
would only make me resemble a clown in a circus. The only thing I
added liberally was my foundation, which I hoped would cover up the
smudges. I finished with a touch of eyeliner to bring out the color
of my eyes, and finally my favorite cherry lip gloss from Bath and
Body Works.

I had to admit that except for the dark
marks, I actually looked halfway decent. The school uniform fit me
nicely. The pleats in the skirt swished out with every step; the
crisp white shirt was tucked pertly into my skirt, and the navy
blue cardigan was knotted across my shoulders. My hair was thrown
back in the customary ponytail I preferred to wear; since it
aggravated me when my hair fell in my eyes while reading. To make
the ponytail more appealing, I clipped a navy blue hair clip at its
base.

“Well that’s as good as it’s going to get,
Feline,” I said, patting his head on my way out the door.

He sunk even deeper into my quilt, making me
smile. At the end of the day, he would be there in the same spot.
Sure, he would use the cat box and eat his food in the kitchen, but
somehow he sensed when I would be arriving home, and he always
waited for me in the same place.

I made my way down the staircase, pausing to
take a deep breath and making sure I had a smile firmly on my face.
My mom didn’t need to worry, especially since we had just gotten
our lives on a somewhat normal path. There was no need to ruin
it.

“Hi mom,” I said, kissing her on the cheek on
the way to the refrigerator.

“Don’t you look cute and sassy in your new
school uniform?”

“Do you like?” I asked, twirling around,
giving her the full effect of the pleated skirt.

“It looks very flattering on you honey, I’m
so glad you finally get to go to a school where you feel
comfortable.”

“Me too, I just want to blend in with all the
other smart kids in the school. Hopefully the teachers will be too
busy with them to worry about me,” I said grabbing the six-pack of
chocolate cupcakes out of the refrigerator.

“Honey, I know you think you’re going to
blend in, but I hate to break it to you, you’re special. Even these
teachers are going to realize it.”

“You’re just biased. You have to think I’m
special. You’re my mom. It’s written in the parent’s handbook.”

She raised her eyebrows as if to say,
are
you kidding me
? She let it slide though, and instead focused on
my face.

Crap
. I hastily looked down and
concentrated on taking the paper off my cupcake. My morning eating
habits had been a battle for many years, but my parents and I had
finally reached a truce when I had agreed to eat a healthy
breakfast every other day. I won the arguments when I pointed out
that cupcakes or chocolate brownies were the same as eating
doughnuts or a sugary cereal for breakfast. Tomorrow I would have
to choke down a whole grain bagel, but today I could enjoy my
wonderful chocolate cupcake.

“He left again last night?” She asked.

I could tell by her worrisome tone that my
ploy had not worked.

I mentally kicked myself for telling my mom
about the new twist my dreams had taken. As long as the dreams made
me happy, she was okay with me having them, but if they started
making me sad, she’d bring up the topic of taking me to a sleep
clinic to try to put a stop to them.