Meet Me (17 page)

He returned with more silk ties. “Let me blind fold you.”

I was too tired to answer as he slipped the blindfold over my eyes and tied it.

“Just undo my legs. They’re hurting.”

Almost immediately, the pressure in my right disappeared and I let out a groan of relief. Then my left leg was freed.

“Oh thank you. I’m not as limber as I thought.” I pulled them together, wondering what he was doing now. The ties holding my elbows loosened.
Then my wrists.
He brought them around and kissed my palms then tied them in the front. I could handle that. He lifted them above my head and secured it to something above, I guessed. Okay, still can handle that. 

The pressure on the mattress said he’d climbed out of the bed.
“

“Now what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer.

I waited patiently until enough time lapsed that I wondered. “
Morgan?” I turned toward the breath at my right ear, smiling. “What are you up to?”

“Morgan’s not here right now.”

Chapter Thirteen

I froze
with
sudden terror. “Morgan? Don’t play like that. Please.” I jerked away at feeling
coarse
hair on my cheek.  

“I told you…”
Again,
rough hair
grazed my
skin.
“…Morgan’s not here right now.
”
Warm
lips pressed into
my
face
.

Terror
threatened to unleash my scream at any second. 

He removed my
blindfold.

Oh God, please help me. Not
John
.
Anybody but
John
.
“Where’s Morgan?” I whispered
on shaky
breath.

He sat softly on the bed next to me. “He’s still here.”

I shook my head. “What do you mean?”

“Never mind about that.
Why are you leaving me?”

I swallowed as scenarios played out in my mind.
Him killing me.
Had he killed Morgan? Oh God.
And the kids?
How did he find me? “I-I-I was just…taking some time…” I trailed off realizing how bad that sounded. The truth was the only thing left. “You don’t love me
John
.
I can’t pretend any longer.” The words barely rasped out.

“I’ve always loved you
,
Tasha.”

I stared, dumbfounded at him.
Not at his words but at the deep
est
sorrow
I’d ever heard in a man’s
voice.
N
ever
in the twenty years
we’d
been married, had I
heard
anything
remotely
like
it.
“
I
s that why you cheated on me?”

His hazel eyes bore into
mine
. “I never cheated.”

“Bullshit!” I gritted my teeth and jerked on the ties. “Bullshit!”

He shook his head slowly. “I would never cheat on you. Somebody lied to you.”

“No, she wouldn’t
lie
about such a thing
Morgan,
not my
best
friend,
not
about that!
”

“She would if she wanted you to leave me.”

“And why would she want that?”

He got up from the bed and returned with a familiar looking book. He tossed it before me.

“Where did you get that?” I
glared at him, furious
.

“I found it in your drawer.
And took it.”

“You
read
my
journal?
Then lied about not knowing where it was?” I began to panic at all the shit that was in there. I didn’t hold back in my journal, everything was poured int
o it. “So what does
my journal
have to do with her lying
about your slutty affairs
?”

He smiled sadly and looked down. “Maybe because she
knew
what a lousy husband I’d been to you?”

God, no.
No, don’t let this man change on me now, not with Morgan in the picture. If he still was. “You think she’d make that up to get me to leave you?”

He shrugged. “I can’t think of any better reason.”

He wasn’t lying. I could tell. He was a horrible liar. “So why did you just give in to the accusations? Like you were guilty?”

“Because I was.
But not
in that way
.
I might as well have cheated on you. Not with a woman, but with other things. I let it all blind me to your needs. Not to mention…” he
gazed
down, “I thought indulging in those things wasn’t what defined love.” He
finally met my wide eyes
. “But then…God began to show me how wrong I was.
And
by then, it was too late, by then you were so damaged and bitter, I didn’t know how to change it.”

I choked on a sob.
Felt like he was taking my dreams from me.
Again.
“Well you’re too fucking late! You’re right, I don’t love you. I love Morgan. He’s been more to me in six months than you’ve been to me in twenty years! And I’m marrying him!” Those final words strained
as I looked around, fresh terror filling me
. “Where is he? What did you do?”

“I just wanted you to love me again.
”

I swallowed, gasping through the pain and anger
and fear
.
“Oh my God, what did you do?”

He stood up and stared at me
while
slowly
removing
his jacket.

“What are you doing?”

He unfastened his pants.

Terror z
a
pped through me.
“Stop this. Please.
” I glanced at the door. “
Morgan!” I screamed.

He removed his shirt and tears rolled down my face at what he
might have
planned.

“Please don’t do this. I love Morgan, I’m sorry, but it’s too late
John
.
”

He reached up and removed his hair.

“Oh my God.
”
I
strained out
.

He removed his beard
—his b
rows
—and
something from his teeth!

I stared in
shocked
horror.
“Oh shit
.
Oh shit, oh shit.”

“You do love me
.
” His voice changed
and my heart sped up at the
change in his accent
.
“
Because
I
am
Morgan.
”

I clenched my eyes shut
, my thoughts tied in knots by
confusion
.
At seeing
my husband…
as
Morgan.
I
forc
ed
myself to look,
trying to figure out what to feel and think, what to say, and
most importantly,
how
the bastard
was
lying
.
“Your teeth.”

“I had them fixed. You deserved
that.”

I shook my head,
scrambling for the pieces that would surely make this the bullshit it had to be
.
All I came up with was,
“
You don’t even know how to use a computer
.
”

“I learned.”

I
fought for focus
,
my
mind
stuttering
.
“
But t
his is not you, you’ve done things,
you’ve said things.” I
gasped,
eyes wide. “You’ve
done
things.” And
this place, those decorations outside
. “And
the way you talk, this is
not
you!
How did you even have the money for all of this?
”

He stared at me a long moment until I thought I had found something.
“I didn’t want to lose you Tasha. I’d already lost your heart. I had to try and fix things
b
efore it was too late.
I became the man you needed and wanted.
I sold my business. You wanted to become a
writer,
I wanted to give you that chance. I believe in you,
I’m
ready to give you your dreams, no matter the cost.
”

My mouth remained open as my head shook. Was I dreaming?
My
stare
lowered over
hi
s  body
. “
Your
…”

“I work
ed
out.
Went to a tanning bed.
Had my hair
colored.
” He came and sat next to me on the bed
and I realized several things
.
He’d
never
looked this damn good at any point in time in
our
marriage.
But still. Surely I’d have recognized his face. But that damn beard and bushy brows had burned themselves into my brain, and anything apart from that was something I wanted to forget and never remember!

John stroked my cheek.
“
But most importantly
…
I read your journal…and discovered the woman buried inside of you.” He
slid the tip of his finger over my nose
. “And becoming the man
to fill your wildest dreams became my ministry. God had shown me that putting you first, was not only my duty, but should have been my desire and pleasure.”

Pain hit my chest at seeing tears in his eyes before he looked down.
“
God, p
lease don’t hate me for deceiving you.
” He bravely met my gaze and leaned in till his lips brushed my cheek. “
Everything…” he
fluttered kisses on my skin
,
“that Morgan is…”
stroked his fingers
over my nipple.
“I am.”

I
whimpered
on confusion and…
desire.
I clenched my eyes shut, not knowing how to feel.

He tilted my face to his. “I love you. I always have. I just…never knew how to.” His lips slowly melted into mine.
“Until you showed me.”

Oh God.
I couldn’t deny
t
he passion
in his lips and touch
. I couldn’t deny the truth of what he
said
,
deny
his
kiss
, his tongue sliding against mine, his gentle touch on my breasts. And I realized…I didn’t want to.

I gasped and returned his kiss,
near sobbing.
I b
arely
noticed
he’d untied me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him lie me down.
Eagerly welcomed him in the embrace of my legs.
“Morgan…”

I froze
at the slip
.

“
Shhh
hh
.”
He kissed me tenderly
like he always did. “I am Morgan.
”
 
I whimpered as he
slid his tongue in my mouth
.
“
…
y
ou created
him
.”

As he kissed me, me
mories of so long ago flooded in.
The sweet
John
that had wooed me, romanced me, cherished me.
I
’d forgotten he’d ever existed.
And right then, Morgan was
John
,
and
John
was Morgan in my heart.
All those dead and buried hopes I’d once had with John
burst forth ins
i
d
e my body
, the Cinderella dream, t
he happily ever after. Oh God, this meant the kids would have their perfect family dreams too.