Melody of the Heart (20 page)

He snorted. “Man, I must be some unimaginable bastard if you had to question that.”

With a shrug, I replied, “I’m sorry, but with your track record, that’s the way I feel about it.”

“Yeah, it’s the truth. Every fucking word. If she was standing here before me, I’d say the exact same thing to her.” When I still hadn’t budged, Jake said, “I’ll even call her and apologize myself.”

I knew then he was really sincere. Jake didn’t get emotional for anyone, least of all a woman, unless he absolutely had to. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

He nodded. “Besides the band, are we good?”

“I don’t know, man. I need some time to process all this.”

Sadness flickered in Jake’s eyes. “I understand. And hey, don’t worry about the shows. We’ll work something out.”

“Wasn’t worried, but thanks.” Without another word, I turned and went in the bedroom to call Gretchen, so I could get the hell out of there. 

                                                                      ***

I arrived in Atlanta around noon. Instead of a driver waiting to meet me, it was my mom and dad. They even parked and came inside the airport, so they could hug and kiss me. Even though I was twenty three and far too old to be fawned over, I let myself truly enjoy it. For one, I’d missed them, and the other reason was I thought of how Lily would never get to put her arms around her father again.

My mom chattered non-stop on the drive home, asking me questions about the guys and the tour as well as filling me in on how my sisters were. When I was with Lily, she always ensured that I skyped or texted my sisters once a week. They never knew that I needed prompting. Well, I guess they did now since I rarely, if ever, messaged or called them. “Have you seen Lily?” I asked.

When she glanced over at my father, I knew the reason why she had been talking so much. They had hoped to avoid the subject of Paul’s death and my ex-fiancée as long as possible.

“They haven’t started having visitation yet, but I think people have been going over to their house.”

“I want to go the minute we get home.”

“Can’t you wait and have lunch with us?” Mom asked, her fingers working nervously with the locket around her neck.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Trying to keep me from Lily. You never liked the idea of us.”

My dad met my gaze in the rearview mirror. “We just didn’t want you to ruin your life by getting too serious too soon. You were too young to be thinking about marriage. Honestly, Bray, you have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you want to shackle yourself down?”

“Why don’t you say what you really mean?”

Dad’s brows rose. “Excuse me?”

“You don’t want me to settle down young because that’s what happened to the two of you. Of course, that’s really my fault, isn’t it? I mean, I was the reason you got married.”

“Brayden!” my mother cried, her hand flying to her throat. I almost felt bad when I saw the tears in her eyes.

My dad, on the other hand, clenched his jaw. “Just because you’re famous now, I won’t allow you to speak to us this way.”

“I’m an adult now, Dad. I can say whatever the hell I want to. I’m not that eighteen-year-old kid you threatened to cut off any financial support if I dared to propose to Lily.”

Releasing one hand off the steering wheel, my dad pinched the bridge of his nose. I knew he was trying to calm down and weigh his words carefully. After all, they enjoyed the money I sent them from time to time too much to risk pissing me off. “Maybe we made some mistakes in the past. But what we did was out of love,” he replied. My mother nodded in agreement. 

“If that’s true, then I don’t want any argument about giving me the car or when I’m coming back. I’m sorry, but I didn’t come home to be with you. I came to be with Lily. And if I can, I’m going to get her back. I’m going to buy her a big fucking diamond this time around, and finally make her my wife.”

While I’m sure I floored my parents, I was just as surprised by the words that left my lips. Was that what this trip was really about? Getting Lily back? Could just twenty-four hours completely change the person you were the day before? I guess the better question was could I have so easily changed back to my old self in just the span of a day?

My dad cleared his throat. “Okay, son.”

I cocked my brows at him. “That’s all you have to say?”

“We just want you to be happy, honey,” Mom replied.

“I really hope you mean that.”

Mom reached back to pat my leg. “We do.” After I gave her a small smile, she turned back in her seat. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about what happened with your Uncle Sam.” She then began rattling on again like nothing had happened at all. Leaning back against the seat, I closed my eyes and willed the car to get us home faster.

BRAYDEN

             
 
THE PAST

As I turned onto the familiar road, an agonizing ache tightened in my chest. If I had closed my eyes, I could have found the way there by heart. The two greatest loves of my life had called this road home—my grandparents and Lily. And I had lost them all.

Before I reached the familiar driveway, my foot eased up on the accelerator, and I found myself pulling over. Rolling down the window, I stuck my head out and took a long look at what once had been my beacon in the storm.

More than anything in the world, I wanted to see my Nana shuffling along the front porch, outfitted in one of her house dresses with a green water pitcher in her hand. As she hummed a gospel tune, she would give nourishment to the plants she loved. With a chaw of tobacco in his mouth, Granddad would be sprawled out in a rocker, watching Nana’s every move with lazy, hooded eyes, which were drifting between being alert or slipping into a nap. Of course, the moment he heard Nana squeal, “Brayden Michael, get yourself on up here and give me some sugar!” he’d be out of the rocking chair in a flash.

Tears welled in my eyes as I surveyed the empty porch. Only the ghosts of happy memories resided there now. If I stopped by the personal care home, Granddad wouldn’t know me. After Nana’s sudden death from a stroke two years ago, he had lost his mind. Once the light of his world had been extinguished, he gave up the will to live and retreated into his own shadowy existence where he didn’t have to live without his love.

Even though I was only twenty four, I realized more than ever that you could never truly go back home—at least not literally. Sometimes home had to simply reside in your heart.

Easing down on the accelerator, I passed my grandparents’ house and headed on to Lily’s. Cars lined both sides of the road, and I had to park on the curb a few houses down. I drew in a deep breath to try to prepare me for what I was about to face. I had to worry not only about the suffocating panic that always filled me around death and grief, but also, the fact that I might be met with open hostility by Lily and her family.

I started up the hillside. Even though the funeral wasn’t until tomorrow, people still were all outfitted in black. While conversation filled the air, it was silently muted and reverent. I made my way across the yard and pounded up the porch steps.

Craning my neck, I searched the crowd for Lily. As I walked down the length of the porch, my skin burned from the stares of people I’d once known. When I dared to meet some of their expectant gazes, I simply bobbed my head and gave a tight smile. At the moment, I didn’t give a fuck if they were thinking I was some sellout for leaving town and not looking back. All that mattered at the moment was finding Lily.

“Brayden?” a voice questioned behind me. I whirled around to see Lily’s younger sister, Kylie, staring at me with wide eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I replied lamely.

“I didn’t expect to see you. I mean, with the way things were left with you and Lily, I didn’t think you’d have any reason to come…” She shook her head. “Shit, that came out all wrong.”

“It’s okay.” As I cleared my throat, I desperately tried to find the right words. “I had to come if just for Paul. He was...” My voice choked off with emotion. “Paul was a good man. I loved him very much.”

Tears shimmered in Kylie’s blue eyes—eyes that were so much like her sister’s. She reached out for me, and I wrapped my arms around her. “Thank you,” she murmured into my ear. After I pulled away, she gave me a sad smile. “He loved you, too. I don’t think he ever gave up hope that you would patch things up with Lily.”

Kylie’s words caused the ache in my chest to grow. The memory of going to him and asking his permission to marry Lily flickered through my mind. The emotions were so strong that I staggered back from the pain. To try and get a hold of my emotions, I asked, “How’s Lily?”

Kylie grimaced. “Not well. She hasn’t slept or eaten since we got the news. She’s refused to see or talk to anyone.”

The enormity of Lily’s grief didn’t surprise me. “Where is she?”

“Holed up on the back porch in Daddy’s favorite rocking chair.”

“I need to talk to her.”

“Good luck with that,” Kylie replied. She then motioned me with her hand. After we got into the house, we started weaving our way through the maze of mourners. I spoke to a few familiar faces. When we got to the kitchen, Kylie led the way over to the door that led to the back porch. Kylie took a key from her pocket and unlocked the door.

“Hey, sis, there’s someone here to see you,” Kylie said.

Lily’s body shuddered. “Not now. I don’t want to see anyone,” her voice, hoarse from crying, croaked.

Glancing at me over her shoulder, Kylie gave me a look like she had tried. When she started to push me back into the house, I shook my head. I’d come too far not to see her.

“Lily,” I said softly.

Her gaze jerked from staring out at the yard to mine. Her hand flew to her mouth. The range of emotions that went through her face ran from agony, to hurt, to anger, to elation.

Scrambling out of the chair, she then raced down the length of the porch to meet me. She threw her arms around my neck, burying her face in my shoulder. Her body shook so fiercely with her sobs that my body trembled as well. I wrapped my arms tight around her, cocooning her against me.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry,” I whispered into her ear. I said the words for so many reasons. For the loss of her father just as much for the asshole I was to let her go. As she continued to weep, I couldn’t stop feeling so helpless. I didn’t know what to say or do. I just knew I needed to do something to ease her suffering. “Lils, I want you to know if there was anything in the world I could do right now to take your pain away, I would.”

“I know,” she murmured against my chest. 

I rubbed small circles across her back, anything I could think of to give her some comfort. Her crying slowly started to ease. Then she slowly lifted her head to stare into my eyes. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”

“I had to come. Your dad was always so good to me. I considered him a good friend who was taken too fucking soon.”

“It would have meant a lot to him. You know, that you came so far just for him.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t just for him. I came for you, too.”

“You did?”

“Of course, I did.”

Her brows lined in confusion. “Even after all this time?”

“A lifetime couldn’t erase my feelings for you.”

The sound of voices behind us made Lily tense in my arms. “There she is. Lily, honey, why don’t you come over here and speak with some of these people?” a woman said. I thought I recognized her as one of Lily’s aunts. Maybe her dad’s sister.

Lily’s anguished eyes met mine. “Take me away from here, Brayden. Please.”

Without another word, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her tight to me. Then we bypassed the waiting people on the porch and headed down the steps. “Lily? Lily, where are you going?” the woman questioned.

But Lily didn’t reply. Instead, she kept her head down as I steered her around the back of the house. When we started for the woods, she glanced up at me. “You’re taking me to the treehouse?”