Memoir in the Making: A May-December Romance (7 page)

“Your English prof?”

“Yeah.”

He whistled and sat back in the booth, looking at her and shaking his head. “She’s one hard bitch.”

Ainsley pulled a face, thinning her lips and puffing out her cheeks while narrowing her eyes at him. She knew he’d say that. The rumors about Meredith Frenz as a professor were not of the highest quality. Though learning had never been in question; it was her grading methods and expectations.

“I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Yeah? Maybe you should…you know…” he wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Older woman and all.”

“Really? That’s your advice. Go ahead and do it.”

“Why not?”

“For one she’s my professor. She affects my grade. Two, she’s my professor! I mean really, I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t? I think, in all honesty, if it’s something you want to pursue long term then try and do it. But I wouldn’t touch it if this is just a booty call thing. That with profs who aren’t into it can be very dangerous.”

“Yeah,” Ainsley said and sighed, finally taking a bite of her hash browns. “I just can’t get her out of my head.”

He snorted. “That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“I know. I’ve done the quick thing, but this…this feels so different. I want to be careful with what I do and say because I just don’t want to mess it up, and I was so afraid I messed it up this weekend.”

“This weekend? What about this weekend?” He was back to shoveling food into his mouth.

“Well, you were an asshole so I walked home.”

“You walked home! By yourself! Ainsley, you know I would have taken you. You shouldn’t do that, not in this neighborhood.”

“With your tongue down Cody’s throat, I didn’t want to interrupt,” she said, anger seething in the undertones. “So I walked home. Meredith saw me walking and stopped, and I was drunk, so I got in, and it got really awkward really fast. I ended up back at her place—”

“You didn’t.”

“I didn’t.”

“You sure?”

“Promise,” she said. “Nothing major happened. But the next morning was awkward because I was drunk the night before, and then in class today—in class today it got heated. Well, after class really, but I think it’s all fine, and I just don’t know anymore. It’s hard to figure it out.”

“Then don’t think about it for a while. You don’t have to meet with her. Just go to class and leave like any other student and let yourself sort it through for a bit. You’ll figure it out, I’m sure.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded at her.

“Yeah, okay,” she said. “I’ll just act normal.”

“Good idea. Or…”

“Or what?”

Adam grinned. “Or I could set you up with someone else. What about that Jenny chick?”

“I think not,” she answered. “Besides isn’t Jenny with Debbie? Or maybe it was Amanda, I really don’t remember.”

“She’s not. She’s single. She’s looking. You could go out with her. One date isn’t going to kill you, and it could easily take your mind of the prof-lady.”

“Not happening.”

“Oh, come on.”

“No.”

“We’ll see,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Ainsley dropped the conversation, knowing she wouldn’t get anywhere, especially if he had his mind set. She decided just to eat her lunch and go home and do homework, then have a beer to relax. Anything to take her mind off the look in Meredith’s face when she’d studied how finely curved her form was.
Ugh
, Ainsley thought.
Can’t even stop for a few minutes.

Chapter Six

Meredith was curled up in the chair in the corner of her office at home. She leaned back with one paper in her hand and a stack to her right. Sipping at a glass of wine, she read through the paper, line by line, impressed with each passing sentence. The story wove through the history of the student’s life with beauty and care. There was a sense of being in the story itself—she could see the child bounding around the house with so much energy she couldn’t contain it.

Giggling at some of the antics, Meredith flipped the page and read it top to bottom. She finished the whole story, tears slipping down her cheeks a she flipped back around to the second page and avoided the cover sheet. Meredith finished off her wine, and then she picked up a pencil and went through the piece again, this time marking it up.

She had very few comments to make. It was definitely an A+ paper. She scribbled a few things here or there, and made a few grammatical comments. She wrote the grade on the last sheet along with a quick note. She wanted to meet with this student for certain. The prose were beautiful, and Meredith saw so much potential. There was a contest coming up for memoir, and a little reworking of this piece, and whoever it was could win.

Flipping to the cover page, Meredith scanned down it until she reached the name at the very bottom. Ainsley Jacobs. Her heart sank, her teeth clenched and tension rolled through her shoulders. Meredith debated on erasing the note at the end to meet with Ainsley, but it wouldn’t be fair. She hadn’t known at the time it was Ainsley’s paper—something she did on purpose with all students when grading—so there was no reason to think it was aimed specifically at her.

Meredith let out another breath and set the paper to the side. Wine—she needed another healthy dose of wine. Uncurling her legs from under her body, Meredith sauntered into her kitchen with her wine glass and picked up the still breathing bottle of red. She drank half of her new glass right there before she even thought about going back to her office.

Disturbed by her thoughts, Meredith refilled her glass and went back to her office, sitting at her computer rather than picking up another paper to grade. She opened her email and checked every last one she could, responding in kind when necessary. Then she checked her secondary email—the one she kept secret from almost everyone in her life. Sam was the only person who knew her secret identity.

Six emails: virtual blog tours, book signings, and questions from regular readers. Meredith answered them all, opting out of book signings too far away and planning a convention appearance for some time in the spring. She had it all planned out before turning back around in her chair and looking at the stack of papers still needing to be graded. She’d made a mistake in planning all three of her classes to have papers due the same week. She would be pushed to the brim with grading to get them all back in time.

Meredith rubbed her lips together and then stood back up with her wine glass in hand. She needed to at least make it through one class by the next day. Then she would feel as though she had accomplished something. Sitting back down in the chair in the corner of her office, Meredith picked up the next paper on the stack and ignored Ainsley’s to her left. She didn’t want to think about it in the very least, and she pushed the note she’d made to the back of her mind.

Rubbing the tension out of her shoulder, Meredith worked through the rest of the papers for her introductory level memoir class. She had the stack finished and grabbed another glass of wine before sitting back down at her computer with the papers in hand. Opening up her Excel spreadsheet, she plotted through the names and the grades, recording them in her own system.

She finished that quickly, double-checking each grade she had put in. Relaxing back in her rolling office chair, Meredith stared at her computer screen. She knew she should be working on more papers, but dusk had already come and gone, and she really didn’t have the mental capacity to keep on with the grading efforts that night. Her brain was dead tired.

Three weeks of school without a real break was kicking her rear hard enough she didn’t want to even glance at the school for a whole month. It was a good thing she had dinner with Sam and Jeremy in a few days. It would make her life a whole lot easier. Meredith smiled at the thought. It would be good to catch up with them and to be able to relax for one of the few times she allowed herself to do it.

Grabbing a book off her shelf, Meredith went out to her living room and plopped down onto the couch with book in hand. She smiled at the cover before opening it and reading the first line. Completely captured by the story after a few minutes, Meredith continued to read until she slipped into slumber on the comfortable sofa.

#

Meredith rolled her shoulders before she walked into the classroom. Hoping it wouldn’t be much longer until all her students were settled and ready to start work, she took everything she would need out of her bag and sat at the desk in front of the room. Ainsley had been on time every day since her first tardy, and Meredith couldn’t have been more pleased.

Leaving the stack of papers in her bag in order to hide them from prying student’s eyes, Meredith glanced at the clock and saw it was time to start. Class flew by quickly, another short writing experiment they shared with each other and a quick lecture about the semicolon and its uses. Meredith grinned at the student who had asked, remembering specifically in their paper that the semicolon had not been properly used about a dozen and a half times.

She made a note to check on it when the second paper was due. With about ten minutes before it was time to leave, Meredith ended the lecture and class in order to hand back papers to students. She called out each student’s name and handed them back their papers. Ainsley was in the middle of the pile, and they made eye contact when Meredith handed hers back. A shiver ran down Meredith’s back. Some students booked it out of the room without looking at their papers and others opened them, immediately searching for the grade at the end.

Ainsley was one of the latter. She flipped through each page and read over the notes, no expression on her face. Meredith packed up her own bag, more slowly than she normally would have on paper-handing-back day. She watched Ainsley with interest as she flipped through the end and read the note. Ainsley must have read it twice because it took her long enough to look up and around the room.

They made eye contact and another shiver ran down Meredith’s spine. She put her glasses on the closed buttons of her jacket and stood up straight to give Ainsley the exact same look, hoping for some kind of reaction. It would be so much better if she wasn’t the only one struggling with the attraction to the depths she was. Meredith blanched at the thought and grabbed her bag, walking toward the door.

“Meredith,” Ainsley said.

“Yeah?”

“You said in this note you wanted to talk. Have time now?”

Worrying her lower lip, Meredith glanced at her watch on her hand and calculated how long it would be before she could run home for the day. She had no office hours on Thursday and could easily have slipped home after the class.

“Sure. I have time now,” Meredith answered and nodded her head in the direction of the hallway.

They walked back to Meredith’s office in companionable silence, and Meredith ushered Ainsley in, shutting the door behind them. After she shut the door, she regretted her choice and wanted to open it again, if only to make sure nothing happened, but it was already too late. She found herself walking back to her desk and sitting down in her chair, setting her bag against the base of her desk.

“So what was the note about?”

“I think you have real talent.”

Ainsley didn’t say anything in response. Meredith’s stomach churned and boiled with the possibilities of what could happen. She couldn’t quite read Ainsley’s expression, but she was worried it would turn into the same conversation they’d had over a week ago.

“Because?” Ainsley finally asked.

“Because what? You have talent. I recognized that talent.”

Ainsley shook her head and stood up, heading for the door. Meredith shot up out of her seat and put her hand on Ainsley’s as soon as her hand covered the doorknob. They looked at each other, Meredith barely towering over Ainsley with only the help of her heels to keep her taller. Ainsley’s dark eyes looked up at her, anger swirling in her irises.

“What are you doing?” Meredith asked.

“Leaving. There’s no point in me being here.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You obviously gave me this grade because of the other night. I don’t know if it’s because you feel bad for me or what, but clearly it affected your judgment. Please, let me leave.”

“Ainsley—that’s not why I gave you the grade.”

“I never get grades like this on first papers of the year.”

“Then take it as a compliment. Please, sit down.”

Ainsley’s jaw clenched, the muscles in her cheek working quickly. They locked gazes again, and Ainsley promptly turned around and sat back down in the wooden chair across from Meredith’s desk.

“Thank you,” Meredith whispered and sat down in her own chair. “I did not give you the grade because of the other night. It’s not how I grade.”

Ainsley rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry if I don’t believe you.”

“Ainsley…” Meredith paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to explain to Ainsley what had happened. “…There’s a reason why I have you put cover pages on your papers and why I don’t ask for the name in the header. I don’t want to know whose paper I’m grading when I’m grading. I don’t see the name. I flip all the papers to the second page, and then I go through and grade them all. I’m not aware until I either finish grading or even sometimes until I input the grades into the computer. I graded your paper without knowing it was yours.”

Ainsley flicked her thumb over one of the zippers on her backpack, not making eye contact with Meredith. Meredith’s heart was in her throat as she waited for any type of reaction, but she didn’t get one right away. Silence filtered through the room, the only noise was the steady strum of the clicking clock above her door.

“So…so I deserved that grade?”

“Absolutely,” Meredith said.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Meredith smiled at Ainsley, who looked far younger than normal as she sat across from her in the office.

Ainsley sat up a little straighter. “You—you weren’t just giving me the grade because I said you were beautiful?”

The color dropped from Meredith’s cheeks. Her stomach plummeted further down than she had known it possible to go. Closing her eyes, she gathered her senses before looking at Ainsley to answer her.