Memoirs of a Timelord (23 page)

       "Like thirty Terrans ago I did." I clucked, knowing that he likely already knew that.

       "There is a lot to be said for the standard DuNai day." He nodded as he spoke.  "It resets the mind, recalibrates our reference datum.  I have found it comforting...even inspiring, to give yourself over to sleep for a hibernation cycle, and awaken fresh and exuberant."

       I could feel what he was telling me.  He transmitted me a brief flash of that euphoric sensation as you drift off into REM sleep.  I held onto that image for a few extra seconds.  It was like taking in the scents of a bakery; Soooo comforting.

       "Are you advocating I return to my old Terran day of twenty-four hours?" I was curious about why he had staged this meeting.  I wished I could say it was all just chance, but I had learned by this time that with DorLek there was nothing random or lucky.  Already I was looking for the lesson in the moment.

       "Nooooo," He laughed openly.  "Terran days are too short.  I blink my eyes longer than that.  No, but I do advocate the DuNai orbital event.  Rest and reboot every sixty-three point two standards.  It gives you a mental anchor to adhere to.  Something to maintain your perspective or you risk spinning out of orbit. In our profession it is easy to get strung out."

       The sensations that filled my mind were my own memories of the last few years since the blur started.  Although I had advanced significantly in my studies, I was becoming more and more detached from the world around me.  Simply put, I was working too much.  I was busy learning the secrets of the universe, yet I had forgotten to stop and enjoy the simple pleasures of the worlds I passed thru.  

       "Is that how you have kept the blur in check?" I wondered.  The old guy was ridiculously old.  

       "It is indeed.  I have found it to be one of the many great wisdoms of my DuNai teachers.  Like you, I questioned many of the things I was told.  But with time I learned that there was undeniable logic to these teachings.  These were ideas promulgated by beings who had existed for eons.  You will find no half-baked theories from the DuNai.  In my time I have tried alternate methods with varying degrees of success, and each time I have come back to the DuNai standard calendar.  It suits those of us who lose ourselves in the blur."

       I gave that a thought.  Something else popped up in my mind as I remembered Bara drunkedly commenting on how the old man must be tired of living.  He'd seen everything, done everything, been everywhere and back.  After fifty thousand Terrans, the old guy had to be ready to take the long walk.

       I never said a word, but the Boss picked up the thought via the Guf.

       "I do look forward to ascension." His voice was almost a whisper.  "Of advancing to the next plane of existence with my people.  I do indeed dream of it."

       I could hear tiredness to his voice.  It chilled me to hear him talk that way.

       "Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but no one wants to die first." I pointed out.

       "Oh, that I don't mind.  I've died many times." He nodded before continuing.  "I have a medical profile already set up for that day.  Once I turn off my Onkx I will enjoy a few last days on Vealle before expiring of natural causes and joining my Guf in eternal ascension.  Those affairs have been in order for years now."

       I was surprised at this revelation.  It pained me to think of life without the Boss's counsel.  It actually scared me the idea of being an Editor without being able to call my old master for help.  Truly, it frightened the hell outta me.  I wasn't gonna be selling used cars when I got home, I was gonna be managing entire civilizations.  There would be questions.  It's not like I can call tech support.

       "You're not going anywhere soon are you?" I had genuine concern in my voice.  I flashed him images of Doctor Kevorkian.

       "Hmmphhht, no." He laughed it off.  "I still have much work to do.  It will be some years before I will be able to pass over.  But I have travelled farther than I have yet to go."

       I gave that a thought.  There was no fear or dread to his attitude.  He knew what waited at the end of his road.  I remember having such a hard time understanding that mindset-to be so at ease with the idea of turning off your Onkx and taking the long walk.  Being barely more than a century old myself, I still had trouble getting my head around the idea.

       "So this is you stopping to smell the roses?" I asked, gesturing to the desert around us.

       "The sunset is merely symbolic, a demarcation point in my day. I find it soothing.  But now I will rest for one standard hibernation cycle.  I think I will dream." He smiled at the thought.

       "So when you dream, do your legs kick like you're chasing a squirrel in your sleep?" I kidded as I imparted the image of my dog Max struggling in REM sleep.

       The Boss gave a laugh at that.  It was not something you heard from him all the time; a good hearty laugh.  He had whimsical little bits here and there, but never an outright belly laugh.  It amused him greatly to think of himself squirming in his cocoon as he dreamt of squirrels.  

       "I am told that I talk during hibernation, but I do not know if I have ever chased cats." He gladly agreed.  "But I did once bite the mailman, as a child, that is.  I had imagined he was a Zoonic raider and I had to turn him back, so I bit him on his third pseudopodia.  My mother was not amused."

       "I punched a teacher in the groin when I was ten." My shrug was meant to tell him his transgression had been normal kids stuff.

       "I know, I was there." He smiled wanly as he thought of the day.  "Even back then you had a hell of a right-cross.  Mister Johnson was certainly surprised; you could really see it in his bulging eyes.  He was a pedophile you know.  That is why the Guf told you to strike him." The Boss gave me a wink.  Slowly his Onkx was fashioning a shell around him.  Another few minutes and I'd be talking to a cocoon.

       "You really shadowed me a lot didn't you?" I was curious just how much of my life had been under the microscope before my selection.

       "What happened to Jimmy O'Connor was not your fault." He gave the merest of shrugs as his eyes scanned the last remnants of the sunset.

       The mention of Jimmy made me freeze in my tracks.  It had been an eternity since I heard that name.  I woulda tried to deny knowing what he was talking about, but this was my Master.  He saw everything, and there was no point in even trying to bullshit him.  Unlike the Ethereals, he understood the subtleties of corporeal beings.

       "You performed admirably that day.  You have nothing to be ashamed of, your actions were wholly commendable and worthy of your medals.  You saved the lives of six men that day." He looked up at me as the cocoon was beginning to grow across his torso.  

       "Sure, I saved everyone but the one guy who mattered most." I said it before I could stop myself.

       "Jimmy's soul was well prepared to cross over.  He was a magnificent specimen." The Boss sent me a comforting blast of aural energy.  

       Nothing more was said as the cocoon finally covered DorLek's face with a hard gray shell.  It had been the first time in a long while that I had relived that memory.  Once I learned to manage my memories I pushed that one far to the back where it wouldn't pop up all the time.  But now with years of experience and training behind me, I see that there really was nothing I could have done.  Jimmy would never have left his patients, and there is no arguing with a rocket propelled grenade.  The two would have intersected one another regardless of my presence.  Had I been there, all that would have changed is one more death.  Add to that the six men I wouldn't have dragged out under fire, and that's eight dead soldiers in a vain attempt to rescue one lovely, unsavable man.  For the first time in my life I realized that the Guf had not warned me of the danger to Jimmy because it knew I would have run to his aid.  

       At that moment, as I watched the last of the sunset cast a long shadow on the boss's cocoon-encrusted rocking chair, I felt very tired.  Mebbe a long nap really was the ticket.  

       

       

       After that I started staying at the house more.  Dunno why, but the old place just has a homey feel to it I guess.  The mansion had a way of making me feel grounded, though I think a lot of it was the mellow nature of the Guf in that galaxy.  It was like hanging out with that cool kid at school, the one that always had his own plan, his own way he was gonna do things.  Every Guf was different, and every Guf had its own voice.  I'd been to a few that were downright hostile.  The Dubaj Guf actually has a sense of humor.  BelJor likes to sing, badly. 

       So that day I was hanging out with Vinny, that's what I took to calling this Guf.  Don't ask me why, it just reminded me of this tough little Italian guy I dated once.  Anyhow, I'm communing with Vinny, which isn't what it sounds like.  See, there's more to my job than just chatting with the Guf all day long.  I have to delve really deep and examine the components that make up the Guf.  Remember when I said that ALL living souls go to the Guf? That means that you have to understand how the other types of souls are affecting the embryo.  Every species tilts the scales in one direction or the other.  Even in its infancy a Guf is a complex being.

       But then that brings up a question I had been searching for; Why is Vinny the Guf so cool?  The deal is that Good old Vinny is a galaxy where the vast majority of life thus far is plant, algae, lichens, molds, and fungus.  Most of the planets in this galaxy that harbor life are still in their earliest evolutionary stages, so the energy they contribute is largely plant souls with a smattering of insectoid Karma.  That's a recipe for a mellow Guf.  Once we start adding a few trillion sentient souls to the mix he'll begin to grow and mature.  The trick is making sure that the societies filling the Well of Souls are up to standards by the time their growth becomes exponential or it could ruin the whole mix.

       So essentially I'm meditating while I surf Vinny's brain.  It's a lot like a drive in the country.  Lots of pretty scenery, but booooring.  Trees and mosses are pretty bland beings. Sure, plants can be pretty violent to one another.  Some use chemical agents to beat back the competition, others physically choke out their enemies...some even murder their foes underground by attacking their roots.  But even when they're waging war, it's pretty boring.  There's just not a lotta good stories to be found in there. Bugs are a little more exciting, but not much. 

       I met a few of the non-corporeal entities that were in the Guf.  Beings of pure energy with these immense souls.  Great power, fantastic lifespans, but even they're not immortal.  However, they're interesting to talk to since the ones already in the Guf hailed from the dawn of all creation.  Only the Ethereals predate these guys.  But you have to watch out with non-corporeal entities because they can take control of a Guf if you don't balance it out with some competitive souls.  It's like adding too much salt to your stew.  Gotta get the mix just right.

       So not to get too far off course from where this story was going, but I was getting bored communing with Vinny, and feeling a little sorry for myself because I was all alone.  The Boss was still in a cocoon, for like another three years.  Aldoo had dumped me a few years back but I just found out.  Veena had gone all career-girl since she started her residency.  So it was just me at the house.  I'd hang with Roxy but she's still on ice.  I just have not been able to bring myself to get them over to Bara's Indoctrination Center.  Just don't think I could bear to look her in the eye after knowing how she died...and that I let it happen.  But I don't wanna talk about that anymore.  It'll just make me see their faces again next time I dream.

       So that's when I notice Didra.  She looked like crap.  I'd left her broken after kicking the shit outta her in Reactionary Studies, like thirty years ago, and got too busy to come back and fix her.  Although it meant nothing to the simulated housekeeper, I felt bad for her the way she was all bent over looking.  So I left my meditation and repaired her avatar with a reset to default.

       But that was just an old lady.  Not even a grandmotherly old lady, just a tired looking little sprite of a woman.  Hell, she look liked Peter Parker's Aunt May, from the original comic book, not the movie.  She just looked so mopey, so I threw a new skin on her, something racy.

       And there she stood, the hottest Roller-Ball champion to ever wear red sequined leotards and wings on her ankles.  I adjusted her profile to give her sassy attitude, and she stood glaring at me with hands on perfect hips.  She looked good, really.  I threw a copy of that skin into my own files for future use. 

       But as I'm looking at her it occurs to me that even though she sighs with irritation, and gives that disrespectful shrug of hers, she really doesn't feel anything at all.  The house is simply waiting for my commands.

       But then I get this flash of brilliance as I start thinking of how Andon Felzier had built his first sentient AI with a Dilumtion engine and a few terasigs of memory.  I could see that it would work a lot better if I used a relational processor instead, but then I'd have to pull Didra off of the house system or it'd just wipe out my changes every time she refreshed because it would conflict with the House's primary logic systems.  To do that I'd need to move her current subroutines into a morphic controller, then bind a hundred kilos of Class IV matter to it and then she'll be running on her own.  I wasn't exactly sure how the house would deal with this loss of its appendage, but I was ready to jump right into the surgery.    

       I had been working for weeks straight without a break.  Even with an internal chronometer, the windowless mansion had a way of making you lose track of time.  To tell the truth, I was just awe-struck by the project.  Back in the day when I was playing with Didra, the system's capabilities were waaaay beyond my abilities.  I could do rudimentary things with her, but I didn't even understand what most of the tweaks did.  Remember, the house is designed to accommodate thousands of types of life forms.  Didra had to be able to match species from all over the known universe.