Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (27 page)

“You really need to rethink your opinions on honesty.”  Fitzwilliam muttered.

Lord Matlock’s mouth dropped open.  “What are you thinking?  Courtship to a . . . Tell me what dowry does she bring with her?”

“I do not know the exact figure, and it does not matter.  I do not need it.

“Do not need it?  Why of course you do!  What wiles has this girl used to charm you?  I know you are not yourself Darcy, but to entertain such a notion!  Is not Bingley enough of a charity for you?  Must you marry a poor girl, too?  I can hear my sister now,
the pollution of Pemberley is nigh
!  I do not even wish to think about what my wife will say about this!”  He shook his head, “I cannot fathom you taking such a step!  What about Miss Gannon?”

Darcy jumped to his feet.  “One dance is not a marriage proposal, and if I had been thinking clearly I would have approached Miss Elizabeth the moment I knew she was in town and not lived through this torturous Season that you have demanded me to experience!”

“Calm down!”  Lord Matlock bellowed.  “What have you told this girl?”

“I told her that my intentions were honourable and that I would not be persuaded otherwise.  She was concerned how my family would receive her.”

“Not well, obviously.”  Fitzwilliam muttered.

“Quiet!”  Lord Matlock glared at him.  “You implied marriage already?”  Darcy met his eyes and nodded.  “What would your father say?”

“I told him about her, Uncle.  He gave me his blessing.”

“He did no such thing!” 

 “Yes, he did.  He knew her status, he knew her family’s connections, and he told me to think with my heart as well as my head.  That is what I am doing.  Now, if you do not wish for the woman I am courting and her chaperones to appear in your home, I will understand and remove myself as well.  And Georgiana will remain with me.”  He bowed.  “Good day.”

“Darcy stop.  You are not going anywhere.”  Lord Matlock took a calming breath.  “Your father did speak to me of an unusual conversation the two of you had regarding marriage, and he did tell me exactly what he said to you, and that he wanted you to find love.  I did not expect this choice to come from someone so far below . . . In any case, I cannot invite a man of trade to my home, I would be a laughingstock.”

“If I were married . . .”

“That would be family.  You are barely courting her, not even engaged.  I will make a suggestion.  Could she come along in Bingley’s party?  Perhaps her aunt could escort her?”

“And her elder sister?”

“No, I understand that Bingley is escorting his sister, we cannot have the man arriving with three unmarried women.”  He looked at Darcy sharply, “The manners of these people Darcy, they will not embarrass your aunt?”

“No more than any of her other guests will, sir.”  Darcy said stiffly.  “I do not see why Miss Elizabeth cannot arrive with me if her Aunt is in attendance.”

“Because to do that would raise a great deal of speculation, of a nature that I do not think your young relationship can endure.  Doing it this way will give your aunt . . .and me, an opportunity to observe this young woman.  Your aunt could meet her without prejudice and I could meet her without spending the evening placating my wife.  She would be seen as a friend of Bingley’s sister, perhaps.”

“I have no intention of hiding my attachment, sir.”

“I ask you to behave prudently.”  Darcy’s stare told him his opinion of that statement.  Lord Matlock stood and came to him.  “Are you sure of this?  Once you appear in public everyone will know.  Your honour will be engaged.”

“It already is, sir.”  Darcy shook his head.  “Sir, I intend to dance with Miss Elizabeth, I will not leave her side the entire evening.  Arriving alone and allowing Bingley to be her escort will imply his attachment to her, and that is unacceptable.  I will not tolerate disguise in this most important subject.  If you do not wish for Mr. Gardiner to enter this house, I will bow to your will, but I want my . . . Miss Elizabeth on my arm, as well as her aunt and elder sister.  Arriving any other way will only delay what will be perfectly obvious the moment we are together.”

“There is nothing that I can say that will make you change your approach?”

“No sir.”  Darcy stared him down.

“You always were stubborn as a mule.”  Lord Matlock mused.  “Very well, have it your way, but I will say nothing to your aunt about this.  I suggest that you caution Georgiana . . .I assume that she knows?”  Darcy nodded.  “Well, tell her not to speak of it.  I am not looking forward to this.”

“I, on the other hand sir, am.”  Darcy flashed a sudden smile, stunning his uncle.  “Good afternoon.”

“I AM SORRY, LIZZY, TRULY!”  Jane followed Elizabeth around the house as she paced.  “It looked as if you and Mr. Darcy were becoming too intimate.”

“I have been waiting for two years to speak to Mr. Darcy!  How could you interrupt us like that!  We have so much to say to each other; of course we were talking intimately!”

“Girls!”  Mrs. Gardiner walked from the nursery and shut the door.  She looked from the angry niece to the distressed one and motioned them into the sitting room attached to her bedchamber and pointed to two chairs.  “What is the problem?”

“Mr. Darcy and I were finally relaxing and starting to talk about ourselves, when Jane decides that we were flaunting propriety and joins us.  I thought the role of a chaperone is to provide company from a distance!”  Elizabeth glared.

“I said that I was sorry!”

“Why did you interrupt their conversation, Jane?”

“I . . .did not want Lizzy to . . .Mr. Darcy leaned his head down to her, and . . .I felt that I should do something.  Mr. Bingley coughed loudly once, so I thought that he saw something before that was improper, and I decided that when Mr. Darcy leaned towards her, I should interrupt . . .”

“For
that
?”  Elizabeth stared.  “Mr. Darcy is a head taller than me!  He was trying to hear!  How can you . . .” Elizabeth stood and paced for a moment.  “No, I am leaving before I say something I will regret.  Excuse me.”  She opened the door and closed it behind her, leaving Jane alone with her aunt. 

“So, you are jealous of your sister.”

“No, I am very happy for her!  I was afraid that Mr. Darcy would forget himself!”  She insisted.

“Jane, I understand that as the oldest daughter, you expect to be the one to be married first, and you probably feel that Elizabeth had her chance with Mr. Stewart.  Do you understand why Mr. Stewart abandoned her?”

“Our family and our fortune.”

“Yes, and Mr. Darcy seems to be willing to overlook those things, although admittedly he may not appreciate the truth of your family yet, he has shown a great deal of tolerance for continuing with Elizabeth knowing her connections to a tradesman and her lack of dowry.  It speaks enormously of him.  Why would you deny her such a man, one who she has hoped for long before meeting Mr. Stewart?”  Jane was silent and   Mrs. Gardiner shook her head.  “You have always been a favoured child by your mother, Jane.  You have not endured the misery that Lizzy has.  Your begrudging her happiness is not attractive.”

Jane said softly, “He never noticed me in the park, he only saw Lizzy.”

Mrs. Gardiner sighed and took her hand.  “And when you find your suitor, he will only see you.”  

“I thought that maybe Mr. Bingley would like me.”

“You should realize that Mr. Bingley is barely of age and is in no position to be courting.  It is admirable that he knows that.”  She leaned and gave her a hug.  “Your time will come.”

Mrs. Gardiner left Jane to her thoughts and went downstairs to find Elizabeth in her uncle’s study reading a volume of Shakespeare’s sonnets.  “Are you well?”

She looked up and shrugged.  “It will do me no good not to be, and I will not let my sister’s jealousy put wrinkles on my brow.”

“No, let your husband do that.”  Mrs. Gardiner laughed and Elizabeth smiled.  “So you recognize Jane’s behaviour as jealousy?”

“Of course I do.  She has men buzzing around her at balls and dinners but none come to call.  That made sense at home, they would know our circumstances there, but I am not sure why it is so here?  She smiles at everyone.”

“Perhaps they wish for more than a smile.”

“That does not follow, I talked and it got me nowhere.”

“You speak on a level that surpasses their intelligence, dear.  What man wants to feel inferior to a woman?”  Mrs. Gardiner settled into a chair and looked over to her.  “Jane needs to learn how to smile and talk at the same time.”

“And I?”  Elizabeth tilted her head.

“I think that Mr. Darcy is very pleased with the challenge that you present, and you would not settle for a man you could not respect.”

“That is true.”  Elizabeth glanced at the sonnet she was reading and closed the book.  “A note arrived from him while you were with Jane.  It is for Uncle.”  She looked over to the desk and to her aunt.  “Could we peek at it?”

“What do you think it concerns?”

“He invited me to a ball at his uncle’s home next week.”  Mrs. Gardiner’s brow rose and she looked at the note, sealed with wax and impressed with the Darcy crest.  “Please!”

“Your uncle will be home soon.”  She said while walking over to touch the envelope.   The sound of the front door opening and Mr. Gardiner’s voice in the hallway made them jump.  He entered the study and found the note thrust into his hands and two pairs of eyes boring into him.

“No welcome home?”  He chuckled, and broke the seal to read.  His brows furrowed and he nodded with understanding.  “Well Lizzy, you are to attend a ball at Matlock House, home of Lord Henry Fitzwilliam, the Earl of Matlock, Tuesday next.  Marianne, you will accompany her as chaperone, and Jane is invited as well.  You will be under Mr. Darcy’s care.  He apologizes that he cannot invite me.  He also cautions that his uncle is not entirely pleased and that Lady Matlock will not take news of this courtship well.”

“An Earl’s home.”  Mrs. Gardiner said softly.  “Why are you not invited?”

Mr. Gardiner raised his brows and smiled.  “It is an Earl’s home, dear.”

“He is ashamed of my connections?”  Elizabeth’s eyes welled up with tears, once again imagining him abandoning her.

“Lizzy, I swore last night that if this man makes you cry I will call him out, but in this case, as unhappy as it makes me to agree, he is correct.  I am not offended, and neither should you be.  If it helps you to be accepted sooner, then I believe that you should agree to the terms and have a wonderful time.”  He kissed her forehead and sat down at his desk to dramatically take out his bank book.  “Now, I suppose that we need to purchase some gowns?”  

“But we have new gowns.”  Elizabeth sniffed and dabbed at her eyes.

“No, not good enough for this occasion.”  He consulted the note. “Mr. Darcy has arranged for you to visit Madame Dupree’s shop at eleven tomorrow and she has promised to have three gowns ready in time for the ball.”

“He is dressing us?”  Elizabeth cried.  “That is rather . . .”

“Prudent.”  Mrs. Gardiner said softly.  “I imagine that your funds will not be required, Edward.”

He smiled and put the book away.  “Well I never could fool you.” 

“But why?”

“Because my dear, you are entering his world, and you must look the part.”  Mrs. Gardiner hugged her shoulders.  “Come on, let us go and tell Jane.”

8 MAY 1809

What a whirlwind my life has become!  Two days ago I met my Fitzwilliam, yesterday I spent in the shop of a very expensive modiste, and tonight he came to dinner.  He was so reserved, if I did not know that he cared for me, I would have been afraid he found my company unappealing and worried that I was doing something wrong.  He was quiet and his movements at the table were measured.  I did not notice it when we first met or on our walk, but I know now that he seems to take into consideration everything before he speaks, or even lifts up his glass!  It is as if life is a chess board and he wants to determine the effect of his move on future events.  Oh that sounds silly, but I suppose that it comes with the weight of responsibility he carries.  Aunt’s description of Pemberley is frightening, and I cannot imagine Fitzwilliam taking his duties as lightly as Papa does.  We had the opportunity to talk a little, but not privately.  I think that frustrates him as much as it does me.  He is impatient with these rules for courtship.  He whispered to me that he would like so much to pull me into his carriage and take me away somewhere so that we could just speak together openly.  I asked Aunt about that freedom and she said that is what comes with marriage.  I think that it is terribly silly to keep two people from communicating just for the sake of appearances.  Perhaps tomorrow we will work out some time together.  We are to visit his home and meet Miss Darcy.  I hope that it goes well; I know how important this is.

“Lost in thought?”  Jane asked when Elizabeth closed her journal and stared off into the distance.

“Hmm? Oh, yes.  I was just . . . Jane, when we visit Mr. Darcy’s home tomorrow, do you think that you could manage to distract Aunt for a little while?”

“Distract her?  Why?”

“So that Mr. Darcy and I can speak privately.”

“Lizzy, you know that is not proper!”

“I am well-aware of that, but it does not curb my desire to do so.  Please Jane!  It is only fair; you owe me after breaking up our conversation in the park!”

“I said that I was sorry!”

“Yes, but that does not change the fact that the moment was lost and we have had no opportunity to resume since then.”  Elizabeth watched her considering.  “We are not in public!  It is his home!”

“What exactly do you have in mind?” 

“I do not know, but . . .if an opportunity comes about, if we can,  I do not know, if he offers to show me some special object or something, give your attention to Miss Darcy and ask Aunt for her opinion.  You know I would do the same for you!”

Jane sighed, and felt the guilt for her behaviour.  “I know, very well, I will do what I can, just . . .be careful, Lizzy.”

8 May 1809