Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (25 page)

Darcy shook his head and squeezed the hand he still held in his grasp.  “What must I do to convince you to reveal your opinion?” 

“Tell me yours.”  He smiled and slowly shook his head.  Elizabeth laughed at his refusal and tried to withdraw her hand from his.  “Sir, you must let go, I hear my uncle’s descent.”

“Only if you promise to walk with me tomorrow.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere you like.”

“When?”

“You know my answer, Miss Elizabeth.”  He raised her hand to his lips again and she closed her eyes as he closed his and murmured.  “Please.”

“Yes.”

“I will come at one o’clock.”

“I will be waiting.”

“Thank you.”  Darcy’s eyes opened to find Elizabeth looking at her hand enveloped in his.  “They look well together, do they not?”

“I always thought they would.”  Their eyes met and looking down to her parted lips leaned forward, then checking himself, stepped back and let go of her hand. 

“I told your uncle that my intentions are honourable, Miss Elizabeth.  I want you to be confident that I am serious.”

Elizabeth drew up to her full height and he smiled, appreciating that she only came to his chin, but her expression was fierce.  “I would accept nothing less, Mr. Darcy.”

Mr. Gardiner arrived and was satisfied with what he saw, he had only left them for five minutes but the necessary words had clearly been exchanged.  “I am sorry sir, but we will be departing very soon.”

Darcy slipped the book back in his pocket and nodded.  “I understand.  I hope that you enjoy your evening.”

“Let me see you to the door, Mr. Darcy.”  Elizabeth offered.  She wrapped her hands around his forearm and they walked from the room to stand before the front door. 

He looked down into her gently dancing eyes.  “Do not let any of the gentlemen steal you away from me tonight.”

Elizabeth laughed and he raised his brows.  “Sir, I assure you, I am the most unappealing woman in London.  Nobody ever looks at me.”

“Well they are fools, but I will not attempt to correct them.”  He squeezed her hand and stepped away.  “I will see you tomorrow.  Good night.”

She watched him walk out to his carriage and board.  He waved to her as they departed and she waved back and leaned on the doorframe.  “Good night, Fitzwilliam.”

Mr. Gardiner waited and watched her then looked up to the top of the stairs where Mrs. Gardiner stood with Jane.  He stepped forward and touched Elizabeth’s shoulder and when she turned, he saw that her face was covered in tears.  “Lizzy!”

She fell into his arms and sobbed.  Mrs. Gardiner came down and took over, leading her into the drawing room and holding her, rocking her back and forth.  “These are tears of happiness, dear?”  Elizabeth nodded.  “You never thought that this would ever happen?”

“How could I, Aunt?  Even before Mr. Stewart rejected me, I knew how unworthy I was for any gentleman, and that all of my dreams for Mr. Darcy were just that.”  She sniffed and looked up.  “He said that he was serious.  He told Uncle that he wants to court me, and is coming tomorrow to walk with me.”

Mrs. Gardiner kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear.  “I was going to talk to you about all of the liberties you took today, speaking to him alone, holding his arm in the park, even being a little too forward in your talk, but I can see that Mr. Darcy clearly appreciated everything that you did, and has been hoping to meet you again, too.”  She smiled and looked into her eyes.  “He obviously needs a girl like you to bring some liveliness into his days.”

“I am so afraid of disappointing him.”  She whispered and dabbed at her face with her handkerchief.

“I guarantee he feels the same way about you.”  Mrs. Gardiner laughed.  “Now, let us go to this dinner, and then we will discuss this walk the two of you are taking tomorrow.”

5 MAY 1809

My hands are shaking.  This is a page that I know I will reread forever, and my hands are shaking so hard that I can barely put my thoughts down.  Today I finally touched my Elizabeth.  When my lips met her skin, it was all I could do not to allow them to continue up her wrist and ultimately to her beautiful smiling mouth.  I will marry this woman.  I realize that we need time to know each other, and I know that we both have so much to learn, but I also know that she is the only woman I have ever wanted.  As much as I despised the Season, and fought against the charms of all of those women who I met, I must thank Richard for forcing me to go through the exercise.  I can say for certain that I know there is not one woman who matched my Elizabeth.   I am nervous and worried about somehow making a mistake that would drive her away, but I am also aware that she is as well.  That knowledge alone gives me confidence.  Father gave me his blessing to marry as I wish.  That is what I intend to do.  I cannot wait until tomorrow!

Darcy closed his eyes and relived the kisses to her hand and remembered the sweet subtle scent of her perfume.  “What a day this has been.”

“Brother?”  Georgiana peeked nervously into his study.   He looked up and smiled.

“Come in.”  She slipped inside and took the chair before his desk.  “What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to apologize again for this morning, and I wanted you to know that I trust your decisions for me, and if you feel that I should go to school, I will without protest.”  She sat back and watched him anxiously.

Darcy tilted his head and studied her.  “I accept your apology and thank you for your trust.  What brought this about?”

“Richard spoke to me about my behaviour.”

“And was it helpful?”

“He helped me to understand your responsibilities.  I am so sorry, I was just thinking of myself.”

“That is a hazard of your age, I think.”  Darcy smiled and she relaxed with his ease.  “Did he speak to you of staying at Matlock House for the rest of the Season?”  She nodded.  “And what is your opinion?”

“I would like to go.  Aunt Helen can do things with me that you cannot.”

“That is very true.”  Darcy smiled again.  “I think that it will do us both a bit of good to have the separation.  But please know that I think it will be a good experience, and not that I wish you away because I am angry.”

“I know that, I do.”  She tilted her head.  “What will you do with yourself without me here?”

Darcy laughed and held up his hand.  “I apologize, that was rude.”

“You are happy!”

“I am very happy.”

Georgiana gasped.  “Miss Elizabeth, does she have something to do with your smiles?”

“Do you like her?”

“Yes, very much. I thought that she would be a wonderful friend.”

“Well then, you should know that I have asked her uncle for permission to court her, and tomorrow we will begin.”  He smiled and leaned back.  “What do you think of that?”

“Really?”  He nodded and the smile remained on his face.  “Will Aunt and Uncle approve of her?”

“Probably not, and Aunt Catherine will hate her.  She is not of our circle Georgiana, but she is a gentlewoman and I have no doubt in my mind that she will win them over.  And I will do everything I can to help her.

“Well if she makes you smile then I will do everything I can to help, too!”  She jumped up and came around the desk to hug him.  “I am so happy for you!”

Darcy blinked hard and hugged her tight.  “Thank you, dear.”

ELIZABETH CLOSED HER JOURNAL and laughed softly.  “What a day this has been!  I at last meet my Fitzwilliam and am so happy that I say nothing at dinner, and I am suddenly surrounded by interested men!”  She looked up into the mirror on the dressing table at her exultant face.  “Well, now I know what was wrong with me, it was not what I said in my conversation; it was that I spoke at all!  Oh how wonderful that Fitzwilliam likes me for myself!”  She stood up and spun around the room, landing with a thud on the bed and immediately hugging her pillow.  “What can I say to him tomorrow?  I must hear his laugh again!” 

There was a knock at the door and Jane spoke.  “Lizzy, may I come in?”

She sat up and moved aside, patting the bed.  “Of course!” 

“You are just brimming with joy.”  Jane smiled.

“Oh Jane, it is as if an albatross of failure has been lifted from my shoulders.  I did not realize how deeply hurt I was from Mr. Stewart’s rejection and well, everything, until Mr. Darcy accepted me.  I have dreamed of him for so long.”  She smiled and saw Jane’s creased brow.  “What is it?”

“You loved Mr. Stewart?”

“No, I did not, but naturally it hurt to have a man who you know is good and kind reject you because of your poverty and poor relations.  And Mama’s disappointment only drove home to me how unlikely it was that I would ever be wanted by a good man again.”

“Do you love Mr. Darcy?”

“Jane . . . My feelings for him are so difficult to describe, until now this was a courtship of our imaginations.”  She smiled and squeezed her hands.  “We begin courting in truth tomorrow.”

“It seems that all of the men care for you.  Tonight they all seemed to look at you.”

Elizabeth tilted her head.  “That is because I did not behave as myself.  If you think about it, I was behaving like you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”  She snapped.

Elizabeth dropped her hands.  “Jane, what is wrong?  Ever since we came to town, every man we met has been interested in you and barely acknowledged me.  Do you begrudge me a little attention on one night?” 

“No, no.  I am sorry Lizzy, it is just . . . I suppose that I am a little jealous of you.”  She looked up and smiled.  “But you have been waiting for Mr. Darcy for a long time.  I only remember speaking of him a little some time ago.  I did not know that you had harboured these dreams.”

“Does it hurt you to know that I did?”

“It should not.”

“I am sorry, Jane.  I barely let myself think of them.”  Elizabeth smiled.  “But now I will let my imagination run wild!”

“He is a very handsome man.”  Jane acknowledged.

“I did not tell Aunt, but he kissed my hands twice and we held hands the entire time that we spoke.”

“Lizzy!”  Jane cried then whispered, “What was it like?”

“Absolutely wonderful!”  She sighed.  “I hope that it happens again.”

“I have no doubt that you will encourage him.” 

“Jane!”  Elizabeth protested, then smiled.  “Well, I will not discourage him!”  The girls laughed and Jane stood. 

“Good night, Lizzy.  Get some sleep.  I think that tomorrow is the beginning of your future.”

“No, that was today.  Tomorrow I will embrace it with both arms.”  Elizabeth saw the door close and blew out her candle, then settled into the bed.  “Goodnight Fitzwilliam.”

Chapter 11

B
ingley entered Darcy’s study with a smile.  “Good morning!”  Darcy looked up and back down at his letter, and said nothing.  Bingley settled into a chair across from the desk and peered at him.   “I say Darcy, are you well?”He slammed the letter down and glared.  “I would like to know Bingley, by what authority you were moved to discuss my feelings with Miss Elizabeth Bennet?  Or even to presume to know them?  If I wanted her to know my feelings I would have told them to her myself!”  Darcy growled and watched as Bingley shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  “Now you have given this woman the expectation of my addresses!  If word of this gets around, I will be labelled a cad for raising her hopes and abandoning her, or worse, I might be seen as some rich gentleman wishing to take advantage of a poor girl as a mistress!”

“Darcy, I am sorry, I was not thinking of that I , I , I only saw that two of my friends cared . . . seemed to care for each other . . . and you have been so miserable, well not miserable, um, but I thought you could use a smile, and then I saw you dancing with that woman who resembled Miss Elizabeth . . .”

“Ah yes, and what of her?  Do you know how many women I have danced with this Season?”

“No.”  Bingley whispered.

“Three.”

“Oh.” 

“Can you imagine how disappointed her mother was with her to lose a suitor like me?”  Darcy was satisfied to see Bingley staring at his hands, and biting back the smile that was threatening to appear, schooled his features.  “Well, I am afraid that this is very grave, Bingley.  And I have two words to say to you.”

“Begone forever?”  He said to his boots.

“Bingley.”  Darcy said sternly and waited for his friend to finally look up.  “Thank you.  Thank you for being my invaluable interfering friend.  You urged me from that ballroom before I made a terrible mistake, and yesterday . . .yesterday I met Miss Elizabeth in the park, and today . . .” Darcy sighed and beamed.  “Today we begin our courtship.”

“What?!”  Bingley stared and jumped up when Darcy came around the desk and placed one hand on his shoulder and shook the other.  “You are courting Miss Elizabeth?”

“I am, Bingley.  I am.  I spoke to her uncle yesterday.”  Darcy laughed.  “I am meeting her today for a walk.”

“Good Lord!  I was sure that you were about to call me out.  Do not ever frighten me like that again!”  Darcy laughed and Bingley stared at him in disbelief.  “How did this happen?”  He dropped down into his chair and smiled incredulously. 

Darcy leaned on his desk and folded his arms.  “Georgiana and I argued and I took to the park to walk off my frustration.  Elizabeth, Miss Elizabeth was there, seemingly just waiting for me.”  He sighed.  “I am forever in your debt.”

“I did nothing; you found her and must have said something.”

“Yes, but you gave us both hope, and pointed out the obvious to me.  Thank you, Charles.”  Darcy smiled.  “Thank you.”

“I still do not believe that I deserve your thanks, but after all you have done for me . . .” He smiled to see Darcy turn away from hearing praise and resume his seat.  “Well, so you are paying a call.”

“Yes.”  Darcy smiled ruefully.  “I have no idea what to do.”

“Well that is simple.  Miss Elizabeth is the easiest girl in the world to talk with.  The difficulty is keeping up with her, but I daresay she will draw you out.”  He saw his friend’s worry and laughed.  “Where are you walking?”