Men of Alaska 2: Sterling Sunshine (11 page)

“That was intense,” she said.

“I think they both need to be spanked before they get any more,” Ross said.

“Don’t be mean. We all missed Matt. It’s not the same when he’s gone. We don’t want to get used to it.” She stroked his chest and kissed his lips.

“I don’t want to leave. I can’t explain it. I need to take care of you guys too,” Matt said.

“So stay.” Tony pulled out. After he dumped the used protection, he kissed Ross. “I need to get fucked for a change.”

“Does that mean I get Tony and Matt inside of me? Could be an interesting duel,” she said.

“If they get too rough, I’ll take care of it,” Ross promised.

* * * *

Matt exited the bathroom fully dressed. The trio he loved remained blissfully asleep in the afterglow. Great sex and love—he had it, and it was harder and harder to leave.

He left an envelope on the dresser and grabbed his backpack. They had careers, lives, and a future here. Matt hadn’t been able to keep one woman happy. One person might be pressure, but he’d tried ménage with the two men, and he still felt like he was letting them down. Tony was the only one who was honest about it. Matt needed to get honest and rip away all the stories he told himself.

They’d all wake up to e-mails…he needed to check on his mother. He hadn’t been there in a couple of months. All that time on the road working, he’d kept busy. He missed the group but when he was in the air, his mind was all about the weather, the world, and the freedom. And the money. Being able to squirrel away money like his father for a future made Matt feel worthwhile. Maybe, if he worked hard enough, he’d get to enjoy life before he died.

He wanted to retire early and just run tourist stuff in Sterling by forty. Telling them that would be welcome but would they believe it? They were all in it together. But Ross and Tony were paying on the house. Matt crashed there and ate their food. They should resent him.

Gretchen probably had a 401k or IRA, something from her day job. Now her life would be different, and things cost a lot more. Hunting only brought in meat, and trading had to be mutually beneficial. Money was worth the sacrifice. Being here, he could let them down. In Anchorage, he could run his life by his mother and maybe find a gift for Gretchen.

Whether he’d bring back the gift or send it back…he wasn’t sure yet.

Chapter Nine

Matt opened the door to one of the nicer Anchorage restaurants in the midst of the dinner crowd. The scent of garlic and other spices greeted them. Being around his mom made Matt feel like a disappointment. She never made it seem that way, but he was divorced and puttering around in life. Mom loved kids and had lived for her family.

After he’d arrived and given in to a homemade breakfast, he’d taken off on a bunch of errands all day, but she had to go into work for part of the day anyway. He should’ve called or texted her that he was coming before he left but he wasn’t in the habit.

“Why did you take an office job? Dad set you up pretty well,” Matt said as they sat in a back booth. The seafood place had low lighting, but big decorative fish mounted against pictures of the coast looked down at them.

She shrugged and reviewed the menus. “The job keeps me busy and gives me benefits. It’s office work, nothing too hard. After raising kids it’s a breeze. The girls will miss me at bingo tonight, but I’ll see them at dance class next week.”

When the waiter arrived, they both ordered the fish special and dug into the basket of warm bread. Their drinks arrived quickly, and Matt was glad they’d have some time to talk without interruption. She didn’t look much older, but Matt felt like he was compared to their last visit.

“I’m glad you’re not lonely here.” Matt wanted to order a beer, but it wasn’t the time.

“Not lonely, no. But I wish your father were here to enjoy it with me. All that hard work, and he never got to enjoy it.” She took a drink of her soda.

“It’s the smoking and drinking that gave him a heart attack young,” Matt said.

“I know, but I never realized until he died why he did it. Other men worked and saw their families more. They were just as well off as we were. We had what we needed but were never rich. He told me he was saving for retirement, but I had no idea how much he was socking away.” She shook her head.

Matt remembered the shock of his father’s finances when he passed. His mother had been so heartbroken that they didn’t trouble her with the details. Since then, she hadn’t really discussed it much. “You really had no idea he had so much put away?”

“If I did, I’d have made him take a year off and spend it with us. I had what I wanted, a family. We had what we needed to live, so I didn’t worry beyond that. He was a hard worker, just like you. I thought he needed to be away to make enough money and put a little aside. After years of it, I was convinced he preferred the drinking and freedom. When I saw the money, I knew he just wanted to take care of us. It was touching but too late to enjoy it with him. He didn’t take care of himself just like you don’t.” She bit into her bread and chewed.

His appetite disappeared as the reality set in. His parents had sacrificed so much and he’d resented them for the lack of time. His dad wasn’t perfect; he’d learned that long ago, but his mom had been clueless. She’d let it happen without demanding information.

Any lingering negative feelings toward his parents vanished. Whatever their relationship dynamic was, Dad provided for them, and Mom wanted her husband back. They’d done their best and Matt was following some of his father’s pattern.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to take you out for a nice dinner not dredge up the past. Mom, I promise, I’m not drinking like Dad. Not every day and one or two beers at most. I’ve never smoked and don’t drink hard liquor. Family is a responsibility. He supported us. The bigger the family, the bigger the obligation.” Matt wanted to make sure his family was safe in the future.

“If you don’t enjoy it, what are you working for? I didn’t want to be an obligation. We had everything we needed. He could’ve eased off a bit on the savings and spent more time at home. The ice road was one thing, but he could’ve hunted and fished the summers with you. He didn’t need to go off on the boats every day for long hours.”

“I would’ve liked that,” Matt said.

“I know he was right to save some. The body starts to wear out with age, and it’s not as easy to hunt and hike. Balance is the key and it wasn’t your father’s strength. I had hoped you’d be different but you’re still wandering.” She sat back as their dinners arrived.

“You’re not the only one who doesn’t like that I move around for work. I keep going back to Sterling and the guys. There’s a woman now, Gretchen. That part of my life is falling into place, but they don’t like my not being around either. It’s so complicated. I don’t want to hurt them.” Matt attacked his dinner with knife and fork.

“Then maybe it’s time you stopped hopping around chasing the money. A good pilot can find work in Alaska. You don’t need to do long hauls or work year-round either. Flying tours are big business in the south.” She ate calmly.

“Plus taking hunters to good spots. If I wanted to get more traditional there are rescue operations and medical transport jobs too. Taking care of four people is a lot of work. A bigger family costs more.” Matt had wanted more time with his father but understood why he’d done it. With a wife and several daughters, Dad wanted them set just in case.

Mom set her flatware down. “Four adults earning money? Sharing a house and expenses?”

“I know it’s not traditional.” He wasn’t from Sterling, and some of Matt’s sisters thought it was weird.

“No, but I like the idea. Your father didn’t like it when I’d work. He wanted me there for you kids. Spreading the responsibility over four people should take pressure off of you, not put more on. You aren’t the only one who can make money or take care of them. You’re not as old-fashioned as your father. Even if Gretchen stays home with the kids while they’re small—you still have two other men working as well. Plus you’re a good hunter. You can always feed your family.” She stared him in the eye.

“I know, and I haven’t spent the money Dad left me. That’s the nest egg. I don’t want to resent them either,” Matt blurted out.

“Resent them?” She folded her arms. “I thought you loved them.”

“I do. I also like flying around and helping people. We lived in a remote town. Lack of supplies can really cause stress. Things go wrong. Life is unpredictable here. There are a lot of pilots, but I know I can do it and that those people need that cargo.” Matt knew settling in Sterling was the right thing now.

“Have you talked to your group about this?” she asked.

Matt shook his head.

“The worst part of it all was your father didn’t trust me. I don’t know if he thought I’d spend the money shopping or what but that was wrong of him. He didn’t treat me like a partner. As much as I loved him, I deserved to know we were more financially secure. Don’t assume your family won’t understand or appreciate you. Tell them the whole truth and work out a solution together. Secrets or lies will only hurt things. You’ll keep flying off to avoid the tension. Then maybe you’ll start drinking more than socially to numb the pain. I want grandchildren, not to bury my son.” She wagged a fork in his direction.

“I’m not going to die on you,” he said.

“All that drinking and smoking—he was filling the void of family with toxic crap to keep him working. That money isn’t what I wanted for my retirement. I wanted him to slow down and have time for me, his children, and grandchildren. He missed out on all of it. Don’t you miss out on life for work,” she said.

That motherly tone cut through Matt. He nodded.

“I know you love flying. I’m glad you have something you enjoy for a career but base that in a location that is best for your family. Work is a part of life. However, life revolves around love not work. Do you love your plane more than the people you’re earning that money for?” she asked.

“No,” he said sternly. He did have affection for his plane but would set it on fire before seeing Tony, Ross, or Gretchen hurt. But he was always thinking of the physical and not the emotional harm.

His mom smiled. “Good. Then you’ll bring this Gretchen up to meet me soon. If she’s the one, you three won’t drag your feet. A nice wedding and get started on those children sooner rather than later is the best way to handle it. Make Sterling your home. It’s not a bad drive. I can visit now and then.”

“Sure. You can move down if you want. I don’t want you to feel alone.” The wedding talk made Matt a little nervous, but it didn’t terrify him. It felt right, like he had a future with a plan rather than being a leaf blowing in the wind.

She laughed. “No, thank you. That’s sweet, but I like Anchorage. The older I get, the more at ease I feel with a big city around me. I don’t sit home every night alone. I have friends and clubs that I belong to. My job keeps me active and it feels good to make my own money.”

“I’m glad. But you’re welcome to come and spend the summers by the sea if you want. I bet grandchildren would change your tune.” He grinned. His mother had found her independence, but she loved kids too.

“You’ll just have to have some children, and we’ll find out.” She shrugged and grabbed the dessert menu. “I feel like something chocolaty.”

“Anything you want, Mom. This little talk was very helpful,” he said.

“Good. Next time you’ll text me before you show up out of the blue. Settling down a bit will be good for you.” As she perused the sugary options, Matt spotted a familiar face.

It was another pilot who’d always talked about moving south and starting up a business. Matt wiped his mouth with a napkin and slid from the booth.

“Excuse me a minute, Mom. I see an old friend that I need to say hi to,” he said.

“Sure. I can’t decide between these two, so I’ll order one for either of us.” She glanced around for their waiter as Matt seized an opportunity.

Doubts and second thoughts were history. Matt knew what he had to do now. He took this other pilot’s presence as a sign of the change he needed to make first to prove to his group he was serious.

* * * *

“He just left?” Mel asked as she primped Gretchen in her bridesmaid dress.

Tony shuffled there in his tux. “It’s Matt.”

“I sent him an e-mail. He left us info on individual bank accounts he has with PODs on us. Even me.” Gretchen knew Matt had deeper issues going on but that was odd.

“Pay on delivery?” Bethany asked as she flicked Tony’s hair to give him a boyish tease. “They’re ready.”

“Pay on death,” Gretchen corrected her friend.

The photographer took pictures with the lush beach as a background.

“Why me?” Tony asked.

“You’re the handsomest and the fittest of her men. Don’t tell the others,” Bethany said.

Gretchen nodded at her friend. “I’d never pick one over another. But Matt isn’t here. Ross is the mayor.”

“Process of elimination,” Tony said

“No, you look good in a tux. Then we’ll get the photographer to get a picture of you in your work uniform another day. And maybe something else. It’s promotional. For Mel and your brother.” Gretchen beamed. Her idea was genius and not nearly as expensive as diving deep into destination weddings just yet.

“My brother better be in this calendar too,” Tony said trying to hide his smile.

Mel laughed. “He is. Don’t worry. Then Isa and both her coast guard hunks. Bethany and a very willing Alaska State Trooper. Right, Tiff?”

Tiff consulted her clipboard. “Yep, we’re on schedule. The other eight are done.”

“I didn’t realize you were so interested in fashion or tourism,” Tony said to Tiff.

She shrugged. “I can help out. I’m not in any of the pictures.”

Bethany rolled her eyes. “But you could be! My offer stands: free consultation whenever you want it. A little makeup, a flat iron, the right dress and heels—you’ll have a six-pack of hotties in your bed.”

Tiff’s cheeks burned red, and Gretchen couldn’t help but smile. She and her friends weren’t shy. They had a habit of butting in. While they were newer residents of Sterling, they weren’t going to sit on the sidelines.