Mended Affections (The Affections Series Book 2) (17 page)

Striker climbs in, immediately placing his hand on the gear shifter, switching the car into drive. He seems distant and unsure. Maybe he isn't happy with his decision to pull away from me. Everyone is always trying to decide what's best for me, without actually asking what I want. Maybe I do need to listen to a wise old woman and take what I want. I'll allow him to think he's in control for now, but I will win him over, and he won't even see it coming. We are meant to be together, we both know that. I just need to make him believe it, and let him know that this time, nothing will get in our way.

Striker

I know she didn't read the letter at the cemetery. It would have been too dark for her to see, but she has it now. That letter has been a weight on my shoulders since the day Dalton handed it to me.

I hated the responsibility of carrying Dalton's last message to Reagan. What does she think of me for holding onto it until now? Tonight felt right though. He didn't want her to have it too soon; he wanted me to wait until I thought she could handle what he had to say. I've carried that letter along with me every day, waiting for the time to feel right. When I heard her anger being directed at a man that could no longer apologize, I felt like it was time.

I have no clue what words that letter holds, but if I know Dalton, it will say everything that she needs to hear. Now I just need to decide what move to make next. I would hate to leave the boys and move into the apartment I rented a year ago. Not only would it change things for the kids, especially Dylan, but where would my aunt live? I know she hates the thought of returning to our hometown to watch her ex-husband waltz around with the woman he cheated on her with for years.

I would love to keep things the way they are, but I need to separate myself from Reagan for a bit. Living together, sharing morning coffee, and being the last person I share a good night with, makes it difficult to keep things platonic.

I want her more than anything, but what kind of a man would I be if I came between a mother and her son? Max is going through something most kids never have to experience. I've been there. I know what it's like. I know it will be hard for him to see, but he's lucky to have his mom. I think of how different my life would have been, if just one of my parents had made it out of the accident alive.

When we get back to the house, Rea heads straight to her room, shutting her bedroom door behind her. I can't go to bed without checking on the boys. So I peek into Dylan's room to find Max asleep in Dylan's bed and Dylan asleep on his floor. Quietly walking down the stairs, I stop in the living room to turn the television off, without waking my aunt and Colt.

I walk to my room, stripping down to my boxers and climb into bed. Maybe tomorrow, I'll be able to make a final decision about what I need to do, but I feel like I can't make a commitment either way without talking to Dylan first. If he wants me here, I'm not sure I could bring myself to live somewhere else.

Taking a few deep breaths, I try to stop my mind from wandering through all of the decisions I need to make. The up and down of today has worn me out, and my eyes are heavy. It doesn't take me long, and I feel my mind drifting off into sleep.

*****

The feel of warm soft skin against my body causes me to stir. I haven't been with a woman for over a year, and my dreams often lead me to a place where I can live out my needs. I love to fall into dreams like this. I welcome them. Giving in to the feel of soft fingers wrapping around me, I rock my hips. Her hand squeezes me tighter. God that feels good. I hear her moan, as she takes pleasure in touching me. It's doesn't take me long before I harden from her touch.

Soft lips meet my neck, nipping and biting. I reach out resting my hand on a naked hip, loving the feel of her skin on my fingertips. All I have to do is reach around, finding that heat I crave most. I try to see her face, but it's not there. I try to hear her voice, but it's muffled. I just want the release that this offers me anyway. I try to roll on top of her, but I can't make myself move. I feel her lips move across my chest, and then the weight of her body is bearing down on me.

Moist heat grinds against me, making me ache.

"Striker." A breathy whisper meets my ear. There's something against my cheek. Tap, tap, tap. "Striker, wake up." Tap, tap, tap.

Slowly my eyes peel open, meeting Rea's naked form, straddling my waist. She's removed my boxers, and the realization that none of this was a dream hits me full force. I grab her wrist in my hands. "What are you doing, Rea?"

"I won't let you walk away from this, from us. Not again," she says, tears form in her eyes.

I hate the thought of hurting her. "What about Max? I can't be the reason your kids are mad at you."

She leans forward until her chest is pressed firmly to mine. I close my eyes, focusing on the way she feels against me. "Striker, you have to understand, the kids will give us problems. They will test our ability to support one another, but I promise you, his outburst was a cover up for whatever is happening with Kiley. He was turning things around on us to take the attention away from her. I know how he works. You can't push me away because one of the kids has a bad day. There will be many more of those."

Rea rocks her hips against me. "You're not playing fair. You come in here and seduce me to get your way."

"I was told by a very wise woman that I hold all the power. I see that holds true, now that I have you under me, I'm not sure you'll be able to deny me anything I ask for," she says with a devilish grin.

I laugh, of course, that sassy old woman would talk Rea into something extreme. "Did you read the letter?"

"No, I don't want to read it. Not until I know we've worked things out on our own. I always relied on Dalton to give me advice when it came to us. That led to one of the biggest misunderstandings of my life. I want to figure this out on our own. Don't you?" Her eyes are pleading with mine.

I can't walk away from this. How stupid am I to think that it's a choice? Looking into her eyes, I feel that familiar tug on my heart. The one only Rea can make me feel, because she's infiltrated me. She did a long time ago. She wove something through me so deep, it never left. I never did choose her. God chose her for me, and I was never able to stop loving her, but our love means nothing if it causes the boys pain. "I just want what's right for you and your family."

Her hand comes up, brushing through my hair. "There's something you have to understand and accept before we continue. This isn't my family. It's ours, you have a say in what happens too. Dylan is yours, and Max and Colt need a father too. We all need you. Can you handle that?"

With her words, I feel more desire for this woman than I've ever felt in my life. She isn't seeing me as the outsider I see myself as. I never really thought of our situation that way. I don't think I'm a needed dynamic in their lives. I know Dylan is my biological son, but it's hard not to think about the fact that Dalton raised him. He was his father, well before I was, and as much as I hate it, I don't discredit that fact. It makes me feel separated, in a sense, but maybe my outlook on our lives together needs to change.

I would love to be given the opportunity to have a second chance at a real family. I had my aunt, but it was never like what I had with my parents. I have the chance to give something to these boys. I have the chance to fill a small part of the void they feel with their dad gone. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it.

Grabbing her face between my hands, I pull her down to me. "I'll try my fucking hardest, Rea. I want the boys in my life, I love looking out for them, and you. I want you more than I ever have." I plunge my tongue between her lips. She may want to have control, but here, naked, together, that's my role. Rolling us over, I don't stop until she's pinned beneath me.

My boxers are still bunched around my thighs, and I don't like the way they restrict my movements. Reaching down with one hand, I work them down my legs until I'm able to toss them to the floor. "For weeks you've been begging me to sink deep into you, Alma, but after this, there's no going back. This isn't just a quick fuck for me."

She giggles at me, and I love that sound. It's my new goal, make Rea laugh more often.  Grabbing her legs behind her knees, I wrap them around my waist. "Wow, Striker, I thought you would need a little more convincing. I guess, climbing naked into your bed is a powerful tool of persuasion. By the way, turning away from this isn't an option for me, either. Our hearts have been bound together, since I was a child," she says, while running her hands up my chest.

"Do you believe in fate?" I ask.

Her eyes roam back and forth searching mine. "How could I not?"

My body takes over and I rock my hips. The friction of me against her slick, wet heat, draws a deep moan from my throat. My eyes pinch tight at the feel of her against me. "God, I love the feel of this, of us. This is the way it should be. Our times together should never be rushed. I want to take my time with you."

"I like that idea, too, but, Striker?"

"Yeah." I lean down, nipping her neck, just below her ear.

"You know what else I like?"

Nip, lick, nip. "What's that?"

"That we're finally on the same page. I don't know what I would do if you left, again. I barely made it through the first time." Her voice cracks, as she recalls how devastating it was when I left for the military, without a single word.

I place a single kiss, just above each of her eyes. I know her mood has shifted from playful to something more serious. "Alma, I will let you lead the way when it comes to the boys. You've been at it longer than me, and I trust you to make the best decisions for all of us and our future together. That was the only thing holding me back. Well that, and waiting for you to find your way back to me. But I promise you this, I may not have been here with you physically, but here in my heart, you never left. It would kill me to not have you in my life again. I need you too, just as much as I need air."

"What are you waiting for then?" Her voice is filled with something more than desire; it's something that seems foreign to me, complete adoration maybe.

I haven't been with a woman I love since the last time I was with Rea. My heart begins to pound in my chest, as my body realizes the intensity of the situation. I'm not about to fuck some random woman, that I'll wake up and leave in the morning. I'm about to make love to the only woman who has ever held my heart. Here with her now, I feel like we're teenagers again, and it's like a punch to the gut. I glance down to her stomach, realizing all the important times that I missed out on with her. "Rea?"

"Yeah," she whispers.

"I fucked up back then. I hate myself for it." I run my hand over her lower stomach, my head hanging low. "I missed so much."

Rea places her hands on my cheeks, raising my head until our eyes lock. "No more past, remember? It's you and me looking forward from now on, creating new memories."

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. I lean down and press my lips to hers: soft, gentle, and delicate, it causes a calm to spread through me. Rea's hands slowly move around my body, sending chills over my skin. An intense shiver racks through me, and she giggles again.

"That's funny, huh?" I bring one hand to her side, placing my fingers over her tickle spot. "I can always make you laugh some more."

She freezes beneath me. "I kinda like what you were up to before. If you want to overpower me, please do it in another way."

"Oh yeah, like this?" I settle myself between her legs, slowly moving my hips to cause the most delicious friction between us.

"Mmmhmmm." She bites her bottom lip.

I lower my body onto hers, chest to chest, bringing my arms up under her shoulders. I want to feel the softness of her hair, so I run my fingers through it, my eyes searching hers. My Alma and her beautiful blues. "No going back, Alma, it's you and me."

Her mouth clashes with mine. Our tongues, sweeping, licking, tangled. She draws my bottom lip between her teeth, tugging on it, causing the slightest bit of pain, but I welcome it.

Breaking my mouth from hers, I place a trail of wet nips across her neck. When my teeth sink in to the skin where her shoulder meets her neck, she shivers. I lick the same spot, and sink my teeth into her flesh again, drawing out a moan.

My hips rock against her on their own. I've waited for this moment for so long, now that I'm here I want to savor it, but Rea has different ideas. Her hand moves down between our bodies. She grabs my length, guiding me to where she desires me most.

My hands are still on each side of her head, and when I slowly push forward, feeling the soft, warm moisture of her gripping me, my hands fist in her hair, tugging with more force than I intended. "Mmmm, God, Rea. You feel just as good as I always remembered. I fucking missed this."

We move together seamlessly. It's like a perfectly orchestrated rhythm. Sweat, moans, and the smell of sex fill the air. My hands travel over every inch of her soft skin. Every motion we make causes my heart to constrict. I need her. I need this. My desire escalates with every thrust of my hips. All thoughts of our evening have left my mind, and primal need takes over.

"Ah, Striker, harder, please," Rea says, in a lust-filled voice.

I move my hands until my fingers thread through hers, and pin them to the bed. Our mouths are melded together, but the desire to watch her fall apart beneath me takes over. Breaking our kiss, I move her hands higher above her head on the mattress and place them in one hand, giving the other freedom to move slowly down her body. My forehead presses against hers. "Open those beautiful eyes, Alma. I need you to look at me."

Her eyes meet mine. They're the fullest I've seen them, since I returned into her life. Every ounce of what I feel is reflected back at me.