Authors: Brenda Kennedy
Tags: #romance, #love, #military, #abuse of prescription drugs, #recovery addictions
“
May I just have a peek
outside, please?” I beg. “I just want to see what it looks
like.”
“
No peeking,” my mom
insists.
Molly is also here, taking pictures of us
getting ready. “But I will tell you this,” Molly says as she takes
more pictures from the bedroom window, “it is totally gorgeous.”
Molly takes posed and candid shots as we are in preparation for the
wedding.
My mom puts my veil on and I begin to cry.
Doris wipes away the tears and smiles. “You know you’ll ruin your
makeup.”
“
I know, but I can’t help
it.”
“
Take a deep breath,” Brooke
says. I laugh and sniffle and she says, “It’s almost time.” I can
only nod. “Do you have your something old, sheer, stolen, and
beer?”
“
Brooke, shut up.” And I
have to laugh. I know she is doing this so I won’t cry. I have my
something old, new, borrowed, and blue. Thank you very
much.”
“
Old, new, borrowed, and
blue, that’s it. What do you have old?”
“
My grandmother’s monogramed
handkerchief.”
“
New is your wedding dress.
What’s borrowed?” she asks.
“
The pearl necklace I
borrowed from you.”
“
And it looks beautiful, by
the way.”
“
Thank you, very much.” I
giggle.
“
Blue? I don’t see
blue.”
I say shyly as I clear my throat, “And you
won’t see it either.”
“
Okay, I know what that
would be. Good choice.”
My mom looks out the window and says, “It’s
time, Emma. We need to go. Stay here and wait for your dad.”
“
Don’t cry, Emma,” Raelynn
says as sweetly as she can.
I hug her and admire her beautiful white
dress with a silk silver ribbon. Her hair is done up in big loose
curls that fall down around her face. “Raelynn, these are very
happy tears.”
I hug everyone and Raelynn and I watch as
they all walk out the door. I’m thankful that Molly goes with them.
I need a minute of alone time. I take several deep cleansing
breaths before there is a soft knock at the door and in walks my
dad and Danny. Seeing them makes me cry even more. Danny and my dad
both have glassy eyes, and I know they are trying to hold it
together, too.
I stand when they enter the room.
“
Em, you look stunning,”
Danny says as he gently hugs me.
“
Thank you.” I swallow the
lump in my throat and try to blink back the tears.
My dad hugs me next and says, “It’s time,
Emma. Are you ready?”
“
I am.” I kiss and hug
Raelynn and my dad offers me his elbow. I watch as Danny offers
Raelynn his elbow, but she takes his hand instead. We walk down the
stairs to the back door, and Danny instructs Raelynn what to do.
The music begins and she heads out with her small white basket.
When the music changes again, my heart races and my palms begin to
sweat. My dad is to my left and Danny is to my right. I asked my
dad and Max’s dad, Danny, to both give me away. Danny was thrilled
and shocked. Danny and Cheryl will always be my family. Even with
Max gone, that doesn’t change anything.
“
Are you ready?” my dad
asks.
I nod. I loop my arms around
Danny’s and Dad’s arm. When the song “This I Promise You”
by
Ronan Keating
comes on,
we begin the
wedding march. The lyrics cause a steady stream of tears to come
full force. The backyard is transformed into a paradise. Twinkling
white lights and white candles illuminate the yard and the wedding
aisle. I see tiki torches down by the lake, lining the cobblestone
walkway.
As we walk, I see glitter mixed in
with the silk lilac petals I chose for Raelynn to toss.
I cry and as fast as I blink away the tears they
come again. I follow the trail of glittery lilac petals along the
red carpet until Alec comes into view.
I stop and just stare at
him. He looks so handsome standing there. James is standing behind
Alec, looking proud and wearing the same black, long-tailed tux and
silver bowtie that Alec is wearing. Raelynn is standing opposite of
Alec tossing glitter where I’ll be standing. I remember his
proposal when Alec asked me to marry him
and Raelynn
.
This truly is a family affair.
“
Come on, Em, your
husband-to-be and your children are waiting for you,” Danny says. I
smile and begin to walk towards my family who are waiting for me at
the altar. As we near, Alec steps down from that altar to meet us.
I kiss my dad and then I kiss Danny, before I take Alec’s
hand.
“
You look so beautiful,”
Alec says. I just smile and look at him through blurred vision.
Although my tears are distorting my vision of him, I know he looks
handsome.
He leads me under the
gazebo, which is covered in white lights and tulle ribbon. It is
stunning. The sun is just beginning to set on the lake. Alec and I
decided to write our own wedding vows. Max and I used the
traditional vows, as did Alec and Molly. We wanted something
more
original for our wedding.
“
Emma,” the preacher says
and it’s my cue to go first. I turn around and hand Raelynn my
bouquet of lilacs to hold for me. I smile and take a deep breath. I
didn’t write anything down for fear of crying and not being able to
see the words I had written, so I decided to speak from my
heart.
Alec takes my hands and holds them as he
caresses my knuckles. I smile and say, “Alec, I love you, and I
love Raelynn as if she were my own. You walked into my life like a
storm that I couldn’t control.” People who know our whole story
laugh and Alec chuckles. I smile and say, “We have been through so
much in just a short time, and I am eager and excited to see where
our life is headed, together, as a family. I feel that together
there isn’t anything we can’t do.” He squeezes my hand and I add,
“I promise to always be there for you, to always be supportive of
you and to always love you. I promise to be the wife you deserve,
to be the friend you need and to be the best mother to our children
that I can possibly be. I will always love you, for ever and ever.”
I smile and he leans in to kiss me. Everyone laughs and the
preacher clears his throat. I can feel Alec’s smile on my
lips
Alec slowly backs away and whispers, “I’m
sorry, I couldn’t wait,” to the preacher without taking his eyes
off mine.
“
It’s all right,
son.”
Alec clears his throat and says, “Emma,
thank you for accepting the kids’ and my wedding proposal.” I smile
and the congregation laughs. “I love you, James, and Raelynn with
everything that I am as a man. I would give my life for yours and
theirs. I vow to be a man, husband, and father whom you will always
be proud of. I give you my word that I will love you every day of
my life.” I wipe away the tears from my cheek and Alec leans in and
kisses me quickly and then says, “I promise to always love you,
James, and Raelynn for ever and ever.”
We exchange rings and he kisses me with such
tenderness. When our kiss ends, we each turn around and I kiss and
hug Raelynn as he does the same to James. We are united as a couple
and as a family. Alec and I stand, and Raelynn, I, Alec, and James
hold hands and face our family and friends.
“
I would like to introduce
you to Dr. and Mrs. Alec Ray Collins
and
family,” The preacher
announces.
The crowd erupts in cheers and laughter, and
we lift our hands and smile. This is my family, and I couldn’t be
happier.
After the ceremony Alec and I walk around
the yard that has been transformed into our wedding paradise. The
white tents cover the white linen tables that are adorned with
white pillar candles, lilac flowers, and silver glitter. The food
buffet is set up to the right of the tent and the wedding party
table is front and center.
A band and a makeshift dance floor are set
up down by the boat dock. The wedding cake is stunning. Although
Alec and I picked out the cake together, it appears to be even more
impressive now that it is our wedding cake. It is a seven-layer
fountain cake decorated with lilacs.
Alec and I take a seat at the head table
with our best man and maid of honor, Raelynn and James. James
lightly taps his water glass with a spoon to get the attention of
the guests and the glass breaks. The grandpas rush up to the table
to help James prepare to make his best man speech. I make sure he
isn’t cut from the glass before taking my seat.
My dad tells James to tap another glass to
get the attention of the guests. They all look up and James looks
scared. Alec moves his chair slightly back so I can see the best
man make his speech. My nose tingles and I will the tears not to
come. I don’t want to miss this moment. The grandpas stay on stage
and James turns around and whispers, “I can do it.” They
reluctantly sit down and James holds the microphone. Raelynn stands
up and walks over to James. This is unexpected and I have no idea
what they will say or what is planned.
“
Sissy and I want to thank
you guys for coming to our mommy and daddy’s wedding.” James and
Raelynn turn slightly to face Alec and me, and I reach for Alec’s
hand. “Sissy and I love you
ever and ever,”
James says as he and Raelynn raise their water glasses, indicating
everyone to toast their speech. This has obviously been rehearsed
and James and Raelynn perfected it. Alec and I toast their speech
with each other and with Raelynn and James. I hug them both and my
heart bursts with the pride that I have for them.
We have dinner, cut the wedding cake, and
then dance with each other and with the kids. The band is good and
plays a variety of music for everyone, including something for the
kids.
I slip away from the party and walk down by
the water where the tiki torches line the cobblestone path. The
skies are clear and the winds are calm. I watch the moon’s
reflection off the water and feel a slight breeze blow across my
face. I have to wonder if it’s Max. My thoughts drift back to mine
and Max’s own wedding day and how wonderful my life was with him. I
will always love him and will never understand why he was taken
from me so soon. Someone walks up behind me and wraps his strong
arms securely around me. I rest my head on Alec’s chest and he
whispers into my ear, “I’ll always love you ever and ever.”
I close my eyes and smile. I feel another
cool breeze blow across my face again and I know it’s Max’s way of
telling me goodbye. A single tear falls from my face and I turn
around and wrap my arms around Alec’s neck. I pull him closer and
say, “I’ll love you ever and ever.”
Epilogue: One Year Later
Alec
Raelynn is back to her normal, bubbly,
skipping-around self after the school shooting. James, although
he’s two years younger than Raelynn, has had a growth spurt and is
now the same height as Raelynn. I never asked how tall Max was, but
I can assume he was well over 6 ft. Sara and Donovan got married on
Valentine’s Day and they are in the process of adopting a boy from
Spain. Molly’s photography business has taken off, as I knew it
would and she and Adam are now engaged to be married. I like Adam
and I am happy for them both. Raelynn and James actually spent the
weekend with Molly. Molly and Adam are getting married next
weekend, and Emma and I are their best man and matron of honor. He
is a good guy and is great to Raelynn, James, and Molly. I have
come to like and trust Adam. Molly and I are better off as friends
than we were as husband and wife.
I lie in bed and watch my beautiful wife
sleep. She is so beautiful. She stirs and I lie still, not wanting
to wake her. I watch her and her eyes flutter open. She smiles and
I have to smile, too.
“
Happy anniversary, Baby.” I
lean in and kiss her sweetly.
“
Happy anniversary, Alec.
How long have you been up?” she asks.
“
Not long,” I
lie.
She smiles; she knows I am lying. I never
sleep in, but here lately I stay in bed with her as long as I
can.
“
Have you had your coffee
yet?” she asks.
“
No, not yet. I was waiting
on you.”
“
Give me a minute, and we’ll
go down together.”
I watch as my very pregnant wife gets out of
bed and walks to the bathroom. I make the bed while she is in there
and wait patiently for her to finish. “Do you need help?” I joke,
after she has been in there for a while.
“
I can’t see my feet,” she
yells from the bathroom, and I laugh. She’s in the bathroom, so why
does she need to see her feet? “I can’t see the scales
either.”
That explains it.
I walk into the bathroom and say, “Let me
see.”
She carefully steps off the scales and
smiles at me. Emma never lets me see her weight. “Nice try, Mr.
Collins.”
“
What? I was just trying to
help, Mrs. Collins,” I say, laughing.
“
Do my feet look
swollen?”
She lifts up her white eyelet nightgown so I
can see her feet. I look and they are fine. Emma is six and half
months pregnant, but she looks pregnant only in her belly. To see
her from the back, you could never tell she was expecting. “No,
Baby, your feet aren’t swollen.”
“
Are you sure, because my
toes feel fat.”
I want to laugh because I have no idea what
fat toes would feel like. “Are you hungry, Emma?”