Merryll Manning Is Dead Lucky (13 page)

    At least Doctor Norman was quick to agree with me that salt air would irreparably damage any collection of Ancient Egyptian artifacts. Nevertheless, although Doctor Norman had heard tell of Dune-Harrigan’s collection and some of its wonders – even from the great man himself – she inclined to the view that the whole thing was purely legendary and that Dune-Harrigan was merely using this fiction to big-note himself in the Anthropology league.

    “Extremely dry conditions would de rigueur here, Mr. Manning. That rules out bank vaults, safety deposit boxes of all sizes, warehouses and general storage units. Even our own museum here is far from ideal, Mr. Manning. In fact, part of our collection has already deteriorated. No government wants to spend money preserving the past. Millions for weapons research and rockets to Armageddon, but not a cent for the Book of the Dead or the crumbling glories of Amenhotep.”

    I didn’t argue with her. I knew! Thirty years ago, I had seen with my own eyes what Dune-Harrigan was smuggling out of Egypt: spoons and steles, armbands and pendants, figurines and
ushebtis
, jewel boxes and perfume jars – anything small and reasonably portable. Of course, he could have sold the pieces, but that wasn’t Dune-Harrigan’s way at all. He was a collector. How he’d frozen with fear just the other day when I’d threatened to smash his paperweight Anubis!

    But where was this hoard of a lifetime?
It didn’t exist
claimed Doctor Norman. But I knew better. It wasn’t at the professor’s house-on-the-cliff. It wasn’t at the museum. Dune-Harrigan had no close friends when I knew him and there was nothing to suggest he’d made any in the meantime. All his students hated him and his colleagues utterly despised him. And I never saw Dune-Harrigan with a woman – or a man either for that matter. In fact, he went out of his way to make enemies rather than friends – and somehow he’d over-reached himself. In any event, he didn’t trust anyone, and there was no way he would separate himself from his collection of Ancient Egyptian artifacts. They had to be easily accessible. But where in hell were they?

    Doctor Norman induced the registrar to show me Dune-Harrigan’s personnel file. This gave me only one item I didn’t already know, namely the name of his lawyer. I phoned the legal eagle right then and there, and after a great deal of humming and hawing – and the personal intervention of Doctor Norman – I persuaded him to send a copy of Dune-Harrigan’s will to Sergeant Michaelson.

    The university still coveted Dune-Harrigan’s figurines. I told Doctor Norman there was no way in the world that anyone could or would dispute the university’s ownership.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            After this little triumph, it was a cinch to get myself appointed as an unpaid yet substantive official of the university’s Archaeological Department.

    Thus the day was fritted away and it was less than ninety minutes to tape time before I finally checked back in at Kenovarnie’s. I expected to hear that Boss Kent had been screaming for me the whole day long, but it was producer Monty Fairmont who grabbed me by the arm as soon as he caught sight of me and demanded to know where I’d been all day. 

    “What’s the problem?” I asked, dodging the question.

    “Sedge is the problem. He won’t go on.”

    “I warned Mr. Kent to expect more poison pen notes today. Didn’t he tell you?”

    “He told us, but that didn’t help. Sedge won’t go on!”

    “I’ll tell him myself. Where is he?”

    “In his dressing-room. Where else?”

    Monty and I were already marching down the corridor. Sedge’s door was open. The floor manager Brian “Bingo” Frobisher, the director “Ace” Jellis, and Miss Spookie Williams were already inside. Even as Monty and I squeezed ourselves in, we could heard Sedge exclaiming, “Not going on! I’m definitely, positively not going on!” He was obviously determined to be theatrical about it, even though he was actually fully dressed and made up for his role. 

    “Do something, Merryll, say something!” yelled Monty, appealing to me.

    Sedge laughed.

    I held my hand in front of his face. “All threats are off!” I claimed, “Dune-Harrigan is dead. What’s more, I’ll station one of my men at each corner of the set. Men that I know and trust. And the set itself will be cleared. I’m not even going to allow our director on the set, only our absolutely essential personnel: Myself, Miss Williams and ‘Bingo’ Frobisher, two cameramen, the sound man, a security guard disguised as a cameraman, a make-up repair girl, the set dresser, an electrician, one of the assistant directors, plus the autocue operator and his assistant. Nobody else gets anywhere near the set to push over any towers or cause any mischief at all. Nobody! I guarantee it.”

    “The set’s as secure as Folsom Prison!” Monty added.

    “Tight as a drum,” agreed “Bingo” Frobisher.

    “And what about when I’m right in front of the crowd, egging them on? Who’s going to stop one of them having a crack at me? I’m just two feet away.”

    “You’ve done it for years,” I argued. “You’re safe as houses. Dune-Harrigan wrote the notes, and he’s dead.”

    “How does Manning know it’s him?” Monty asked Jellis in a stage whisper we could all hear plain as a cannon. “Didn’t we all get the same crazy notes? What was his game?”

    “He was just a mad, old, self-centered bastard who loved to make enemies,” I told them. “He hated everyone and everything – except Ancient Egypt. But now he’s dead. Dead, dead, dead!”

    “That’s right,” Monty agreed. “Dead right!”

    “What have you and ‘Ace’ got to worry about?” Sedge asked. “You’re both nice and safe, locked up in the booth,” he added. “And Peter’s nice and safe too. It’s just me and Manning out in the open.”

    “With the support of my four trusted security men,” I noted. “But nothing’s going to happen tonight. Dune-Harrigan is dead. I saw the body myself.” (What was left of it – and from a distance – but I wasn’t about to make these facts public).

    “Dune-Harrigan? Is that all you can think of? He’s not the only threat in the world!”

    “He told me himself he sent the notes,” I lied. “And I saw his body. He fell off a cliff.” At least that line was true.

    “And the tower?” Sedge asked. “Who pushed it over?”

    “You all saw Dune-Harrigan. He was built like a wrestler. Of course he pushed the tower.”

    “Why?”

    “His idea of a joke or revenge.”

    “How did he get in?” someone asked.

    “How do I know? Maybe he offered someone real cash for their free ticket.”

    “Not a rejected contestant after all,” complained Spookie Williams. “After all that work!”

    “I’d definitely call him a dejected contestant,” I added.

    But Sedge wasn’t buying. “I’m far from convinced. In fact, I’m not convinced at all. I think you’re all barking up the wrong tree. I, for one, would have noticed Dune-Harrigan in the audience. I do the warm-up, remember?”

    “Never mind all that! What’s past is past!” complained producer, Monty Fairmont. “Will you go on
tonight
, Sedge? You can see how Manning will protect you!”

    “On the set, maybe! But what about when I’m lecturing the mums and dads, the tourists and passers-by? Not going to do it! No way! I aim to stick my neck out just so far.”

    Blank looks all around.

    “I’ll do the show, but I won’t do the warm-up,” Sedge explained.

    Monty relaxed. “Great! I knew you wouldn’t let us down. ‘Bingo’ will do it.”