Michele Zurlo (32 page)

“Perfect timing. I was just about to order in, but going out sounds wonderful.”

They chose a place nearby. Ginny owned Sensual Secrets, a bakery and catering company. She was in charge of the bakery, and Drew oversaw the catering. Both were excellent chefs, and their company was very successful. Sophia now worked exclusively for them, handling all the finances so Drew and Ginny could focus on being creative.

Since it was Monday, the bakery was closed, which meant both women had the day off. Sabrina waited until after they’d ordered food to find out why they’d suddenly appeared at her office.

“So, what’s this about?”

Ginny fluttered her eyelashes in mock innocence. “A girl can’t miss her big sister? Since when do I need a reason to see you?”

“You don’t. But it’s not like you to just show up.” Sabrina shot Sophia a look that reiterated the question.

Sophia smiled brilliantly. “Ginny wants in on Elysium. Drew talked to Stefano this morning, and he said the investment would be a good one, but he wants to wait until after the Mehlbergs’ divorce is final to make a lowball offer.”

Ginny grinned. “I said I’d go in on it if we made it more lesbian friendly. Lara and I spent a day there about six or seven years ago. It was nice.”

Sabrina had thought the entire concept was LGBT-friendly. She cocked her head at Ginny. “What would make it more lesbian friendly?”

“Special events, like a lesbian week. And it needs to be green. More recycling and conservation. We could harness solar and wind power.”

Buying into Elysium had been the last thing on Sabrina’s mind, but it seemed to be the only thing on anyone else’s mind. She wasn’t sure she wanted to invest, and she and Jonas had yet to discuss it.

“That sounds great, but I’m not sure I want a piece of this. I have a job already. It sucks up most of my time.” And having two kids and an iffy marriage sucked up the rest.

Sophia scrunched her nose, which did nothing to mar her beauty. She was easily one of the most exotically gorgeous women Sabrina had ever seen. She flipped her hand as if swatting away Sabrina’s objection. “You hate your job. This will be more fun. Imagine the ad campaigns for a sex island. The slogans alone make it worthwhile.”

“I don’t hate my job.” Sabrina felt her entire body stiffen. “I’m very good at what I do.”

“You’re one of the best,” Sophia agreed. She bit into a piece of steaming hot bread that she’d slathered with butter. “But as one of the people who beats the stress out of you, I can say that I’ve never seen you this tense, and you just got back from a sex-filled vacation. Did you use my gift?”

Heat crept up Sabrina’s neck, but she knew that wouldn’t get her out of answering the question. “Yes. The corset fit very well and the cuffs came in handy.”

Ginny giggled. “And did you use Ellen’s gift? We all had a great time shopping for that.”

Though Ginny’s gift had been tame—she’d given Sabrina a pair of chairs that fit perfectly into the living room—Sabrina wasn’t at all surprised to find out that Ginny had a hand in Ryan and Ellen’s selection. Ryan probably had good intentions when he had suggested it, but her sister and Ellen both had a devilish streak.

The blush made it to Sabrina’s face. She pressed the insides of her wrists against her glass of water, hoping that would help make the redness go away faster. Normally she just breathed through these moments, but this one brought back unpleasant memories of her trip and the way she’d run out on Jonas. He’d been devastated, and it had been her fault.

“Yes. Jonas quite liked that gift.”

Something in her tone must have given away more than she intended. Sophia studied her in a quiet Domme way that Sabrina often found disconcerting.

She shifted her attention to Ginny, but her sister’s frown didn’t make her feel better. “Did something happen?”

Writing down her deepest fears had been all the emotional upheaval Sabrina could handle for one day. Behind every other problem and doubt was the fear that Jonas would wake up one day and realize he wanted something from her that she couldn’t give. Her emotions became strangely calm as numbness washed over her.

She managed a polite smile. “Look, Elysium is a nice place to visit, but I’m not interested in buying it. If that’s what you want, I wish you both the best.”

Ginny whistled, drawing attention to them in this crowded restaurant. “Wow, Sophie. Did you notice how quickly she changed the subject?”

“Yes, and she did it so well, making it seem like she was going back to what we were talking about before.” Sophia waggled her eyebrows in mock admiration.

A bit of the numbness eased away. Sabrina felt her smile warm up. “I love when you talk about me like I’m not here.”

Ginny looked at her as if she’d just arrived. “Oh? Are you back now? For a second I thought Mom had come to lunch. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mom, I just need a little warning first.”

The feeling was mutual. Their mother had a difficult time dealing with Ginny’s free spirit and the way she flaunted the rules of polite society. Melinda Morozov would hyperventilate if she knew Ginny was wearing jeans to an upscale restaurant, even if it was just for lunch and the dress code allowed for such things.

Sophia’s expression had turned decidedly sober. “Seriously, Sabrina. You can talk to us. Or maybe you just want to ask questions?”

Understanding dawned. She’d been set up. She eyed her sister and her friend with harsh intent. “Jonas sent you, didn’t he?”

Ginny and Sophia exchanged a puzzled look, and Sabrina realized she’d guessed wrong. She set down her fork and covered her eyes with one hand, punishing her head with a painful squeeze.

Sophia gently tugged Sabrina’s hand away from her face. “Hey, that’s against the rules. No hurting yourself. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t.” Sabrina disengaged her hand from Sophia’s grip and gave her a grim look. “It’s between Jonas and me.”

Ginny opened her mouth to ask a question, but Sophia waved her hand to halt the interrogation. “Gin, she knows we’re here if she needs us. She said it’s between her and Jonas. We have to respect that.”

Ginny didn’t look like she appreciated Sophia’s interference, but Sabrina breathed a sigh of relief.

Monday ran late, as it always did. It seemed work just piled up over the weekend, a million small molehills could forge a mountain. Sabrina didn’t leave the office until nearly five-thirty. As she battled rush hour traffic, she lamented her job and questioned why she kept it. After all, she didn’t need the money and she could use the time.

The house was eerily quiet when she came in the back door. Rose usually hovered in the area between the kitchen and the laundry room where the door to the garage was also located. She did triple duty, keeping her father company as he made dinner, keeping Ethan from escaping out the slider in the breakfast nook, and keeping watch for her mother to come home from work.

Nobody greeted her. “Hello?” she called. “Rosie? Ethan? Mommy’s home.” Silence. She made it to the kitchen. It was vacant, and it bore no evidence of use. In light of the entry she’d left in that blasted journal, cold panic froze in her veins. “Jonas?”

She set her briefcase on the island and continued into the dining room where she came to a halt. The shades were drawn, but it wasn’t dark. The room was lit with hundreds of candles. They lined the display shelves, sideboard, and the fireplace mantle. More covered the top of the table, and the air was thick with their perfume.

Only two places were clear of candles, and those had plates heaped with lasagna. She recognized Jonas’s signature style in the patterning of the layers.

The man himself lounged in the opposite doorway, the one leading to the large foyer where he’d first convinced her that it wasn’t wrong to want to be held down and that she wasn’t doomed to a life without orgasms. He leaned against the wall with one ankle casually crossed over the other.

He wore jeans, the ones that made his ass look extra sexy, a green, silk button-down shirt that brought out the olive in his eyes, and a matching green-and-gold tie. His feet, as always, were bare. She had a hard time suppressing a smile at that small detail.

She wanted to tell him he looked amazing or that she was floored by the candles and the romantic setup. But that’s not what came out of her mouth. “Where are the kids?”

“Ellen and Ryan’s. They’re having a sleepover.” He pushed away from the wall and came toward her. “Take off your shoes and sit down. I’ll pour the wine.”

She stepped out of her heels, automatically losing three inches and any false confidence gained from having the extra height. He pulled out a chair for her and she sat down. Then he grabbed the bottle of wine from where it had been chilling on the sideboard.

He leaned over her as he poured, and she inhaled his clean, masculine scent. A wave of longing washed over her, and she desperately wished she knew what to say or do.

“Sorry I’m late. I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

He handed her the glass and smiled. “I know what time you usually get home on a Monday, honey. Try the wine.”

Her hand shook when she picked up the glass, so she set it back down. “Jonas.” Half-plea, half-cry, she whispered his name. She couldn’t stand not knowing whether or not he’d read the journal.

He sat down at the head of the table, the seat next to hers. These were their usual spots. He took the dominant position, and she was always faithfully to his left. “I thought we would eat first, relax a little, and then talk, but I can see you’re about to break.”

If she shook any harder, she might shatter. She strove for a calm demeanor as she waited for him to continue.

He closed his hand over hers where they were balled together in her lap. “First, you are the wife I wanted.” With difficulty, he lifted her left hand onto the table and held it there. She wasn’t resisting him; she was just stiff with anxiety. He brushed his thumb over the white gold wedding band she never took off. “This ring does more than mark you as mine. It’s a symbol of my promise to love and cherish you. I wouldn’t give this to just anyone.”

She looked at the larger diamond set in a nest of smaller diamonds and emeralds. It was a beautiful ring. It had belonged to his grandmother. Still, she couldn’t stop her retort. “No, not anyone. Just the women you marry.”

A dangerous light entered his eye, and she knew she’d crossed a line. She was pushing him, and he didn’t like it. She jerked her hand away, and scrunched it in her lap with the other one. What did it matter when she’d crossed so many already?

“I’ve never given this ring to another woman. Helene kept her ring when she left. I didn’t want it back.” He exhaled loudly, a warning not to interrupt again, especially with an assumption she’d made. He’d never once told her that his ex-wife had worn the rings. “I gave you this ring because I felt you were the kind of woman my grandmother would have liked. She was a good judge of character. I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, but I did. I don’t regret it, Sabrina. Not a single moment.”

She felt terrible. “I can’t be what you want me to be.”

“You already are.” He sank to his knees next to her chair and took her face in his hands. “You’re everything I want. You’re my wife, the mother of my children. You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about when I fall asleep at night. I dream about you. I fantasize about you. I was broken, cynical and directionless, and you healed me. You gave me hope. You gave me the courage to choose a life path that fits me. You made me the man I am today, and I want nothing more than to make you happy.”

He made her sound so much better than she really was. She trembled even more and wished she could cry, anything to make her feel a little better. “Jonas, I’m not submissive. I don’t want to kneel at your feet or have you feed me by hand.”

That wasn’t exactly true, but it wasn’t false either. She wished she could make heads or tails of her feelings.

He searched her eyes as if he knew there was more, but when she didn’t add anything more, he nodded. “You are submissive, honey. It’s one of the things about you that I find attractive. I could see that it was becoming more and more difficult for you to deny that part of yourself. That’s why I wanted you to try it. I thought Elysium was the perfect setting for us to explore a different dynamic, but I can see that I pushed you too far, too fast.”

“I’m so confused.” She heard the desperation, the supplication in her voice, which was surprisingly steady considering how badly her body quaked.

“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s going to take some time to sort it out. We’ll have to do it one element at a time. We’ll use the journal. I’m going to ask you to write in it every day. We’ll talk, too, especially after a scene.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “It’s not all smooth sailing, honey. We’ll weather the storm together. For better or for worse.”

Tremendous emotion welled inside her. She struggled to contain it because she couldn’t release it. “Jonas, I need…”

He usually finished her sentence, especially when he knew she wanted time in the dungeon. This time, he didn’t. “No more assumptions, honey. Tell me what you need.”

“I need to cry. I’ve tried to let it out for over a week, but it just stays inside me. I can’t stand it.”

He stroked the side of her face. “Tell me what you need.”