Authors: Wayne Jordan
“What happened?”
“My wife and daughter died in an accident,” he blurted out.
He looked at her, watching for her change in expression. He didn't see the expected look of pity, instead, her saw her acceptance and sympathy.
“I'm sorry to hear that. It couldn't have been easy.” Her voice was gentle, soothing. A hand reached out and touched his, offering him comfort.
“No, it wasn't. I wandered around aimlessly for a whole year before I shook the grief off and decided to get on with life.”
“But it still hurts, I'm sure.”
Again, he hesitated. “Yes,” he finally replied, “it hurts still, but living each day is a lot easier that it was a year ago. Working at the Center has given me a purpose.”
“I'm glad. But, I still can't imagine you standing in a church preaching. You're too⦔
She blushed.
“What?” Daniel asked. He wanted to know.
“Sexy,” she finally said with a giggle, before she blushed again.
“Ohâoh,” he spluttered. He wasn't sure what to say
about that one, but hearing her say it made him feel hot and bothered.
Come on, Daniel. You're losing control.
“I'm sorry,” she said. “I didn't mean to embarrass you. My friends always say I speak before I think. I'm sure you'll probably agree.”
“Yes, you do. But I'm fine with it. I find honesty refreshing. I may have spent most of my life in church, but it's not easy for anyone to be totally honest.”
“A cynical way to look at the world,” she observed.
“Cynical, but true. You could say I've earned the right to be cynical.”
At first she did not respond. “Because of your wife and child?” she finally asked, cautiously.
“Yes, because of them. But we've talked a bit too much about me. Tell me about yourself.”
Before Renée could speak the waitress returned, carrying their meals. After she placed the plates on the table, she smiled, told them to enjoy dinner and left, her eyes focused on Daniel.
“Seems that you have an admirer,” Renée said, her voice laced with amusement.
At first, Daniel didn't understand what she was talking about.
“Admirer?” he asked. He seemed more focused on his meal.
“Yes, the waitress.”
“You're kidding me. Me?” he asked, his disbelief evident.
“Yes, you.”
“Sorry, I didn't notice,” he said quickly. “I'm just hungry.” He smiled.
He waited until she started before he picked up his knife and fork. They ate in silence, the expressions of satisfaction on their faces evidence of the enjoyment of the simple fare of fried fish and French fries.
When Daniel paused to lay his utensils on the table he said, “So before we started gorging ourselves, you were telling me a bit about yourself.”
“Well, you already know I work at the hospital,” Renée began. “I'm an only child. My dad died when I was a kid, so it's only my mother and I. My mother is the consummate matchmaker and believes that I will die single and alone. I'm only twenty-eight, so I think I still have some time.”
“You were born in Chicago?” he asked, glad the attention was off of him.
“Yeah, I'm a native. Never wanted to live anywhere else. There is nothing like Gino's deep-dish pizza or Garrett's popcorn. Two of my only vices.”
“And the hospital? You enjoy working there?”
“Yes, I do. I was fortunate. Just out of college, I applied for a position and got it. I like to work with people, to help them.”
“We have that in common. I've always wanted to help people. At first I thought the church was my calling. I wanted to be like my father. Now I realize I can help more people out here doing what I do.”
“I wouldn't trivialize the work you did in the church. I'm sure you helped people there.”
“Yes, I did, but this is different.”
Renée looked at him with curiosity, her eyes boring into his soul. “There is something very heroic about you,” she finally said. “What you did for Jamie was remarkable.”
“There's nothing heroic about me at all. I just happened to be there at the right time.”
“You could have been killed. But you didn't think about what could happen to youâyou just did what you thought was right.”
“Please don't make me out to be noble,” he responded. “I'm far from it. My thoughts right now are far from noble,” he confessed with a smirk.
“And what, pray tell, are your thoughts?” she asked, her voice low and husky.
“That I'd like to kiss you.”
Everything went still. He couldn't believe he'd said it, but he'd said it and the awareness between them intensified.
“Can we pay the bill and leave?” she asked suddenly.
He wasn't sure what she meant. Had he insulted her?
No, he could see the flame in her eyes.
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Renée stared at the television, seeing it but not fully paying attention. Daniel Buchanan's image was firmly locked in her mind's eye.
What was she going to do?
She almost felt like a sinner, but he was not a minister anymore and maybe she needed to pull herself under control. She also noticed the wedding ring on his finger,
too. There must still be some attachment to his late wife. That only increased her uneasiness.
She switched the television off, waiting until her vision grew accustomed to the darkness of the night.
Renée touched her lips, closing her eyes and wishing Daniel were there.
Daniel had kissed her.
He'd waited until they reached his car in the dimly lit parking lot and taken her in his arms. His lips had sought hers.
Renée shivered, remembering the intensity of his passion, the touch of his lips on her neck, the probing of his tongue as he parted her mouth.
She'd pressed against him, loving the feel of his body next to hers and the hardness of his arousal pressed against her. She'd almost melted with the heat between them. When Daniel had suddenly pulled away, she had ached for more of him. And then he'd drawn her close to him and held her, placing his arms around her while stroking her hair. When he finally stepped away, she had felt his uneasiness at what they had done.
Renée remained at the window into the early hours of the morning. The kiss had left her aching for more. She was confused, but the only thing clear to her was that she wanted Daniel Buchanan.
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Across town, Daniel listened to the gentle pitter-patter of rain. No more heavy downpours and high winds. It was as if nature was apologizing for the past few days of unpredictable weather.
He'd had his meeting with Jerome and was satisfied
that the teenager was progressing well. Daniel still remembered when he'd first met the angry, troubled boy. His instinct had been to take the boy and grip him with a manly hug. He could tell the boy had been hitting out at the world. Later, he'd discovered that all Jerome needed was someone to care about him.
But he still had some concerns about the boy's home life. With only an ailing grandmother, Daniel was worried what would happen if the old lady died. He didn't think Jerome would survive foster care, but the possible alternative was taking his responsibility to another level. He already spent one of his off days, when they fell on Saturday or Sundays, with the boy.
He pushed the thought from his mind. He wasn't ready to be a father to any child. There were too many complications involved, too many issues to deal with.
Daniel had been glad for the meeting. It had kept his mind off of Renée, and the kiss.
Surprisingly, he'd eventually fallen asleep that evening, though he'd lain in bed for hours, thinking about Lorraineâ¦and Renée.
He couldn't believe that he'd just met her three days ago. To say that the kiss had affected him was an understatement. Renée's passion had amazed him, stirring already awakened feelings.
Even now, the taste of her lips caused him to harden, his erection pressing against the tight boxers he wore. He was attracted to her. He'd reveled in her softness, not wanting to let her go and disappointed when the kiss had ended. Even now he still ached with desire.
God, she was beautiful, with that head of luxurious
shiny hair that smelled like a rain-kissed rose. He remained uncertain about what to do. His body told him one thing while his mind said something else.
Getting involved with someone may be a step in the right direction. He'd come to an indifferent understanding of the workings of destiny and fate, but he knew that he was still far from the healing he needed.
Renée Walker could be a meaningful diversion. Daniel wanted to live for today. With Lorraine, he'd envisioned a long future of marital bliss and look where it had endedâ¦with him all alone and broken.
No, he had all intentions of enjoying today. And if enjoying life could be had with a relationship with Renée, then he would explore the possibilities. He knew he wanted more. Wanted to kiss her again. Wanted to feel her legs wrapped around him.
Unfortunately, the guilt he felt each time he thought of her threatened to send him crazy. And if he wanted to see Renée again, it was guilt he needed to resolve.
T
he next two days, Daniel visited Jamie at the hospital and felt a sense of disappointment when Renée did not appear. She either hadn't come for the day or she'd already left. He wondered if she was trying to avoid him. And then there was Jamie.
Her slow recuperation worried him. At times she seemed to be healing but other times she continued to suffer from bouts of dizziness and headaches that made her cry. He suspected that the hospital would soon want to discharge her or transfer her to a state hospital, but he planned on talking to Renée about the situation. If he had to pay to make sure Jamie got proper care he would. Very few people knew how well off he was. He'd spent little of the considerable sum of money his father had
left him. He and each of his brothers were more than comfortable.
On the occasions when Jamie was in good spirits he tried to get her to open up, but she steered the conversation to trivial things. Still, he knew that eventually she'd open up and tell him the truth.
On Friday, he spent most of the day catching up on his paperwork. In the evening, he had to meet with a group of boys from the local high school, the school Jerome attended. He enjoyed working with these boys. Each of them had been suspended at one time or another from school and had been referred to the Center for counseling. That's how he'd met Jerome.
The Center had been built with boys in mind. In fact, the Center was a facility exclusively for boys at risk. Beyond the office area, there were several activity rooms, two workshops for woodwork, art, crafts, electronics and, of course, a gym with a basketball court. It was there he was heading to meet with the boys.
When he entered, Jerome immediately saw him and nodded in his direction. Daniel returned the greeting and Jerome smiled.
He called the boys in his direction and headed to one of the miniature bleachers. He immediately gave them the good news. They'd qualified this year to take part in a local basketball tournament. Shouts of excitement greeted his announcement.
He continued when the noise finally diminished.
“Basketball practice will begin in a few minutes. I just wanted to talk to you before Coach Bryan arrives. I'm proud of each of you. You've worked hard to achieve
this. But not only am I proud of this, I just received your mid-term reports from the school.” He paused. “None of you have received a grade below B in any of your classes. That's cause for celebration. So I promise we'll have a party for you after the tournament is over.” More cheers and shouts.
“It looks like Coach Bryan has just walked into the gym. It's time to get started. Go warm up.”
The boys headed over to the court. Jerome stopped and turned around and returned in his direction.
“I spoke to my homeroom teacher today. I got all A's and a B+. I just wanted to say thanks.”
“It's no problem, man. I knew you could do it.”
“I couldn't do it without you,” Jerome said. He paused. “We won't be able to hang this weekend. I have to meet with a group in my class. We have a project we have to work on.”
“That's cool. You have to tell me about your trip to D.C.”
“I'll call you later.”
“Cool.” Daniel nodded. “Got to go play some ball.”
Damn, I'm so proud of him,
Daniel thought. He glanced at his watch. He still had some time before he headed to the hospital. He would watch some of the practice before he left. His presence also seemed to give the boys a boost. He knew they looked up to him. That was why he often worked long hours. He'd seen too many boys with potential pulled into a life of violence and pain. He planned to do anything in his power to make sure this didn't happen to Jerome or any of the other boys here.
When he finally left the Center, it was with a heart that was soaring. He reached the hospital in record time.
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In the elevator, the stillness of the hospital seemed overwhelming, but he didn't feel the usual sense of foreboding. He was too happy to allow anything to spoil his high.
On the fourth floor, one floor before the ward, the elevator stopped and opened, and when Renée stared back at him, he was sure his face showed the same flash of alarm hers did.
She entered, a tight smile on her face.
“Daniel,” she acknowledged, her voice distant.
“Renée,” he replied.
The door shut behind her, and the elevator went up.
“So how has it been now that you're avoiding me?” he asked, directly.
“Avoiding you?” Her response rushed from her as if she'd anticipated his question.
“Yeah, avoiding me.”
“I haven't been,” she said. “Why would I be avoiding you?”
“Now that's an interesting question. I have my suspicions, but I'll leave them for when we go out this weekend.”
“This weekend?” Renée gasped. “We're going out?”
“Are you going to echo everything I say?”
He heard a clearing throat before he realized the
elevator had stopped and someone was waiting to enter.
Renée stepped out, turning to greet a tall, handsome man as she exited. “Good afternoon, Dr. Haynes.”
“Renée, I visited that girl a few hours ago,” he called after her, his eyes focused on Daniel. “I'm a bit concerned about those headaches she's been having. I've scheduled a few tests for this evening.”
“I saw her a while ago. Daniel's on his way to see her now.”
“Daniel?” The man's brow lifted. His tone chilled the area.
“Sorry, this is Daniel Buchanan. He's the man who rescued her. He works at The Hope Center. Daniel, Dr. Roger Haynes.”
Dr. Haynes stared at Daniel, nodded briefly, his eyes conveying an obvious message.
She's mine.
Daniel found himself amused by the whole situation. He could tell that the man had made little progress with whatever he hoped for with Renée. He could see it in the tensing of the doctor's body and the distance Renée maintained between the two of them. There was no intimacy there.
When the doctor finally turned to go, barely acknowledging him, he couldn't help but chuckle.
Renée turned to him.
“What's so funny?” she asked.
“Oh, I'll keep that to myself for a while,” he replied, refusing to give in to the desire to tell her what he
thought. “But I promise you, I'll tell you over dinner tomorrow night.”
“Are you inviting me out to dinner?” she asked.
“I'm sorry. I should have asked like a gentleman, shouldn't I?” he replied. The laughter was still there. Then his voice became serious. “Renée, will you go out to dinner with me?”
This time she smiled. “I'll think about it, Mr. Buchanan. You have a great evening,” she said, her voice laced with laughter.
“I will, Ms. Walker. Call me and let me know your decision.”
With that she turned away.
What surprised Daniel was the sense of loss he felt. He'd driven her to that. He'd wanted to anger her, to force her away from him. If he were honest, he'd admit the truth to himself, but even that he did not want to say. To venture there would be to admit so many things he didn't want to admit.
That he was attracted to Renée Walker was a definite.
To say that he lusted after her was a definite.
Surprisingly, how he felt didn't seem wrong. It felt right, totally right.
He was looking forward to dinner. He wanted to kiss her again; needed to kiss her again. Maybe then, he'd be able to work her out of his system.
Daniel turned and headed in the direction of Jamie's room. He greeted the nurse at the nurses' station. She smiled, her eyes sparkling with appreciation. He smiled back.
As he strutted down the dimly lit corridor with its stark white walls, he didn't notice that he'd started to whistle.
Yeah, dinner was going to be interesting.
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Two hours later, Renée sat in her office, her annoyance with men evident in her stance. She slammed the empty cup on her desk. She had no idea what was happening to her, but Daniel Buchanan irked her beyond reason. Roger, too, had aggravated her even more. She turned to her best friend.
“So what are you going to do?” Cheryl asked.
“Do about what?” she responded. “About him?”
“Him?
“The man who has your panties in a bunch,” Cheryl said.
“There's no such man.”
“Not from what I've heard. Your
boyfriend
called me earlier to find out who “that man” was. So there has to be some man to cause Roger to get all flustered.”
Renée fumed inside. What right did Roger have to call Cheryl? She'd made it clear to him on more than one occasion that she wasn't interested.
“Renée? You have that look in your eyes,” Cheryl observed.
“What look?” Renée asked.
“That âI think I hate men' look.”
“I do? I assure you it's not that.” She stopped. “But the two of them just really pissed me off.”
“Even the kindly counselor? I thought you liked him.”
“Yes, I do. I like him. He
is
kind of nice.”
“Nice? How about sexy and heart-pounding. You look at a man like that and all you see is nice? You must be crazy. Remember, I saw him when he went to visit Jamie. If you don't want him I can take him, but I'm sure he won't be interested in me. And, of course, Julian would have something to say about that.”
Renée remained silent for a while.
“I do like him. And he is sexy in a serious kind of way. I haven't felt like this about a man in years and then he just turns up and disrupts my life. I'm not sure if I want to be involved with anyone right now.”
“Maybe that's exactly what you need. You've been alone for too long,” Cheryl stated. “It's not natural. You can't continue to allow what happened to you so long ago to deprive you of a healthy relationship. And you're too focused on your career. Working yourself 24/7 is not going to warm your bed at night.”
“You can afford to say that. You have never been jilted before. And I know you've never had to deal with the men I've had to deal with,” Renée added. “You and Julian have been together for almost four years now. I'm sure you'll soon be talking about marriage.”
“That proves my point. You can find this, too. Being in love is the most awesome thing.”
“I'll take your word for it.”
“Come on, you're making me depressed with your attitude. You have a sexy man interested in you and you're playing coy.”
Cheryl's cell phone rang. Of course it was one of those sappy love songs. Couldn't people just use the traditional ring?
The grin on Cheryl's face made it obvious that the caller was her dearly beloved. They spoke briefly while Renée concentrated on the work on her desk.
When she flipped the phone shut she turned to Renée.
“I'm so sorry but I have to go pick up Julian at work. His car won't start and he doesn't want to pay a taxi to drive all the way to my apartment when I can pick him up on the way home.”
“It's fine. Go.”
“You're going to be all right?” Cheryl asked.
“I'm going to be fine. There's a good movie on tonight. And I promised one of the nurses at the hospital that I'd make her a cheesecake for her birthday.”
“You and your baking. You should own a restaurant instead of working at the hospital. A waste of talent. You're going to have to invite Mr. Buchanan over the dinner, feed him and spend the rest of the night jumping his bones.”
“Don't you have to go pick up Julian?” Renée said, laughing. Cheryl really was outrageous.
“Okay, okay, run me out of your office. We'll pick up this conversation another time.”
With that, she stood, waiting for Renée to stand along with her before she hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.
“You take care of yourself. And go out to dinner with the man. He may be your Mr. Right.”
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That night, Renée sat on the couch in front of the television. Though one of her favorite shows was on she couldn't focus. Cheryl's words kept popping into her head.
Maybe what her friend was saying was true.
She was tired of being alone, but she also didn't want to take the risk of being hurt. Everyone saw her as being so strong. But she'd had enough bad experiences with love to last her a lifetime and she wasn't sure if she wanted to go back there.
But she was lonely. Renée missed the heat of a man's body next to hers. She missed the fun of doing otherwise ordinary stuff together. But most of all, she missed that special communication that comes with being in love.
Oh, yes, she had been in love before.
But the day she'd sat outside the church in a limousine waiting for her soon-to-be-husband to arrive, realizing that he wasn't coming, she'd vowed never to fall in love again.
Sure, she'd had relationships over the years. A consenting adult, she'd enjoyed sex, but that was it. She'd never experienced the heart-pounding, toe-curling lovemaking that Cheryl kept telling her about, and a part of her wanted it.
Her phone rang and she picked it up, too lazy to look at the display to see who was calling.
“Hello.”
“Renée, Daniel here.”
Her heart missed a beat.
“Yes, Daniel,” she replied. “How can I help you?”
“Jamie would like to talk to you. She said she didn't see you today.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, but she says that you're the only woman she will talk to.”
“Okay, I'll go see her first thing in the morning.”
“Good, which leads me to the second reason I called. Are you still willing to have dinner with me?”
She hesitated at first, but then replied. “You did eventually ask, didn't you.” She paused before she spoke again. “Yes, I'll have dinner with you.”
“Good, thanks for accepting. Now, why didn't it go like that the first time around?” he asked.