Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2) (14 page)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Brooke~

I’d been back in Michigan for nearly a week. The
first few days were spent crying on Jade’s shoulder as I recounted over and
over how badly our relationship had splintered after I'd left for London. Of
course, she’d already heard most of the story before the final dramatic scene,
but she just held me and rubbed my back, listening intently each time I
repeated it as if it were the first time.

She
stayed with me every day, having called in and asking for the week off due to
an unexpected emergency. I guess in some way it had been an emergency. In the
beginning she had no idea what I had been capable of. I was a complete wreck.
By the fifth day I had stopped crying and moved on to silence. I spent the
entire day curled up in bed with the lights out. I didn’t want anyone to see
me, and I didn’t want to see them.

By
day six Jade had finally had enough. She stormed into the room and opened the
curtains, letting in the blinding sunlight. I cringed, almost as if it had hurt
me. Sunshine made me think happy thoughts, and I didn’t want to think happy
thoughts right now. Sebastian had called me his sunshine. At one time he’d told
me “My world was darkness for almost a year before I met you, and then you came
into my life and brought the light back to me. When you left me, it all went
dark again. I can’t live like that, not after knowing how good the light can
be. You give me reason to go on each day, you give me hope. You are my
sunshine.” I shook my head violently, trying to get rid of that memory. It was
no use. Every memory I had of him was a happy one. Except for that last night.

“This
has gone on long enough. You need to get up and start living again. You’re
going to call Sebastian and tell him something, I don’t care what it is, but
you can’t keep him hanging like this. And for the love of all that is holy, you
really need to take a shower. You smell bad.” She plugged her nose.

“I
do not smell bad.” I protested, sniffing myself and realizing that I did, in
fact, reek.

“Sweetie,
you stink. Now, do us all a favor and go shower.

“I
can’t call him, not just yet.” I shook my head.

“Brooke,
you have been miserable. He's miserable. You need to decide what you are going
to do. It’s not fair to keep him in the dark.” She demanded. Her hands were planted
firmly on her hips and she stared me down. "How many missed calls do you
have? Texts? I know he's been trying to reach you. Dek has been going out of
his mind trying to deal with him."

"I
don't know," I shrugged. "A lot. I haven't checked lately." That
wasn't true. I had checked. There were eight missed calls. Five from Sebastian,
and three from Reid. Multiple texts had followed but I ignored them all. I wasn't
ready to speak to either of them.

“Right
now I’m not thinking straight. I’ll only tell him that we’re still through. I
don’t want to be forced to choose between my work and him. That’s not fair to
me. And he’s not in the dark. He knew perfectly well what I meant when he
walked out that door in London.” I stood my ground. "And if I recall, he
walked out and never looked back."

“Why
did you feel that ending it was your only option? I still don’t understand
that. Is it because of your pride? Or the grand plan that you had all mapped
out with Devon? Face it Brooke, Sebastian is not Devon. He never was and he
never will be. And this guy, what was his name? Reid? If you think that you may
have a better future with him just because he shares the same dreams as you…Well,
that’s ridiculous.” She said, sounding exasperated.

“Why?
Why is that so ridiculous? Maybe that’s who I need to focus my attention on. Devon
and I got along great. We worked the same hours, had the same hobbies. We were
great together.” I narrowed my eyes at her. I wasn't sure what I was trying to
prove. I never had any intention of getting involved with Reid. My love for
Sebastian was never in question. Our ability to keep a relationship going was,
however.

“Are
you really going to stand there and try to convince me that what you shared
with Devon was more special than what you have right now with Sebastian? Is
that what you’re trying to do? If that’s the case then go convince someone else
‘cause I’m not buying it.” She pointed a manicured finger at me. “You love that
man. And he loves you more than anything else in this world. He would go to the
ends of the earth for you, and you know that. I’m not sure what got into you
while you were over there in London, but I don’t think I like who you’ve
become.”

“I
haven’t changed, Jade. I’m still the same woman that I was when I left. Yeah, I
am different in some ways. A little more worldly perhaps. I’ve also learned
that I can’t spend my life acting like everything is perfect when it’s not.
Things changed when I moved to L.A. Our relationship changed. It was like he
assumed my moving out there was a guarantee that I would walk away from
everything and marry him.” I scooted up and sat on the bathroom counter.

“I
thought you wanted to marry Sebastian. Why didn’t you say yes?” She crossed her
arms over her chest and leaned against the door.

“Because
he never asked.” I shrugged.

“What
do you mean? I thought he told Dek he was going to propose.” Shock filled her
face as what I had just told her sank in.

“He
may have said that he was going to propose, but he never got around to it.
Sure, I saw the ring. I even held it once. But never once did he place it on my
finger and ask me to be his wife. Besides, as much as I love him, I'm not sure
that I'm completely at peace with letting go of the past that easily.”

"I
take it you're referring to Devon, and the accident? Sweetie, that was a long
time ago. Devon would have wanted you to be happy. Sebastian makes you happier
than anyone ever has, including Devon. You need to face those demons head on,
once and for all."

 
I covered my face with my hands and shook
my head violently. “I can’t talk about this. It’s over between us. I need to
accept it and move on. Max is counting on me to pull myself together and get
back to London.”

Jade
stood there with her mouth gaping open. She started to speak but didn’t form
words. Finally, when she realized that I wasn’t going to say anything further,
she sighed deeply and offered a false smile.

“Go
shower. Then, come out and I’ll make you something to eat. You must be
starving, you haven’t eaten since you got off the plane.” She admonished.

“Actually,
I didn’t eat two days prior either.” I quipped.

“What?
That is not healthy young lady. You need to have a balanced diet.” She
continued to call after me, long after I’d shut the bathroom door.

The hot water felt
soothing as it beat
down on my tense shoulders. I lathered my body and then my hair, watching as
the soap suds made their way down my body and down the drain. I thought about
Devon, and the love we had shared when we had been too young to fully
comprehend what we were doing. I thought about the future he'd wanted for us,
and how his life had ended far too soon. Then, I thought about Sebastian, and how
thoughtlessly I’d thrown away my one shot at true love and happiness. Sebastian
had been my one true love. Sure, I had been in love with Devon, but not like
this. The love I felt for Devon couldn’t even begin to compare with the love I
had for Sebastian. On two separate occasions I’d managed to run him off. Both
times he’d been about to propose to me. I wasn’t sure what that said about us,
but I knew what it said about me. I’d admitted it before to him. Once again I'd
only been thinking of myself. Selfishness had reared it’s ugly head on more
than one occasion during our relationship. I hated that I had allowed myself to
become that kind of person. One driven by success and acknowledgement. It had
destroyed my family as a child, and it was destroying the new family I had now.

I
had allowed this to happen.

I
needed to fix it, and there was only one way I knew to begin my transformation.

I
needed to talk to my mother.

But
first, I needed to call Sebastian. Jade had been right, I couldn't keep him
hanging. Until I was able to clear up the mess in my head I needed some time
away from everything. It wouldn't be fair to give him false hope if I wasn't
able to find a balance between my career and my love life.

He
picked up on the third ring, and his voice carried none of the usual softness
he used to exhibit. Instead, I detected frustration, anger, and mild annoyance
that I was even bothering to call him at all.

"Hi.
I thought that maybe we should talk."

"Yeah?
What do you think we should talk about? The weather maybe? I hear it's pretty
chilly there in Michigan. It's actually mild here in sunny California. Or,
maybe we could chat about hockey. Did you catch the L.A. Kings last night? They
pretty much kicked Detroit's ass all over the rink." He paused a moment,
letting out a heavy sigh before continuing. "Or, maybe you could explain
to me how it is that you can walk away from what we had and make it look so
easy."

"Wait
a minute. I never said any of this was easy for me. I need you to understand
that I'm feeling confused and I have to work some things out before I can get
past the doubts I have.

"Doubts?
You have doubts about us? Great. That's just great, Brooke. You go and work on
your doubts. Meanwhile, I'll be over here trying to move on with my life.

"That's
not fair." I interjected.

"No?
Well, good. Because from where I'm sitting, what you did didn't feel all that
fair to me either. Now I just need to learn how to live my life without you.
Goodbye, Brooke."

The
line went dead. I stood there, staring at the phone as if it may suddenly begin
ringing again, thinking that he would call back and tell me everything would
work out, and that the love we shared was strong enough to get us through.

It
remained silent.

Sebastian~

Mom had been making a fuss over me the past four
days. It seemed like every time I turned around she was there to check on me,
making sure I wasn’t hungry, or if I wanted to talk. After handing over
Brooke’s engagement ring to that cab driver, I knew in my head that it was over
between us. I had to let her go. But my heart wasn’t ready to give up that
easily. I was going to respect her wishes and give her space.

She’d
called me this morning. I almost let it go to voicemail. She told me that she
still loved me but was having doubts about whether or not we could really make
it work. She mentioned something about having to deal with some issues first.
Honestly, after she said she had doubts I tuned her out. I think it was my
brains way of protecting my heart. I told her that I needed to learn how to
move on without her and I hung up the phone. I held it tightly in my hand, damn
near breaking it I'd squeezed it so hard. Either way, it was over, whether I
wanted it to be or not. Now I just had to figure out how to keep moving
forward.

Which
brings me back to mom and her hovering.

I
know that my mom loves me and wants to take care of me, but I secretly believe
that she is afraid I will go off the deep end again. I tried reassuring her that
I had moved past that part of my life. I don’t think she bought it completely.
Hell, even I didn’t buy it.

“Sebastian,
sweetie, you really need to get up and do something. Moping around won’t help
matters.” I was upstairs, sitting on my childhood bed, staring at photos on my
phone. Mom had come in and pretended to be picking up dirty laundry, just as
she had done when we were teenagers, but I knew she was just nosing around. She
sat next to me and leaned over to look at my phone.

“She’s
a beautiful girl. I always loved that picture of the two of you.” She smiled,
warmly.

“Yeah.”
I mumbled. “Me too.” I set the phone aside and returned her smile. “You need
something?” I tilted my head a bit, giving her a playful wink.

“Your
Dad is out in the workshop. Why don’t you go join him, see if he needs your
help.”

“Mom,
you know what he’s going to say.”

“Yeah,
I know. But I still want you to go. I think you need to spend a little quality
time with him. For old times sake.” She scooted me out the door with a swish of
her hand, just like when I was a child. I laughed as I made my way down the
stairs.

Coming
here had been the right thing to do.

I
found Dad in the shop, just as Mom had indicated. He was standing in front of the
kitchen table, or what used to be the kitchen table. Now it lay there on the
workbench, turned on its surface with the legs sticking up in the air. One had
been broken near the base and it now sat propped in a vice as Dad continued
sanding the wood glue from the repair he’d made yesterday.

“Wow,
this table sure has been through a lot over the years.” I stated, running a
hand over one of the remaining legs.

“Yeah.
She’s seen plenty of abuse from you and your brother. Been a make believe
apartment for Nikki, with a little help from a blanket thrown over top of her.”
He winked. “She’s endured countless family discussions and meals. Many arm
wrestling tournaments between you and your crazy friends.” He ran a loving hand
over the smooth finish of the old oak table. “But all it took was a few shots
of tequila and your mother dancing on it to make her finally throw in the
towel.” He kept a straight face and continued his repair. I coughed once, doing
my best to suppress a fit of laughter, but it wasn’t long before I doubled
over. The mere thought of my mother dancing on the table, with or without the
influence of alcohol, was more than I could stand. I laughed hard, and it felt
good.