Million Dollar Road (44 page)

As though she were a much younger girl, Lireinne leaned forward and hugged her legs to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees.

“Yeah, I've been thinking about that.” She swallowed, her tensed mouth trembling. “I just gotta know one thing, okay?”

“Anything.”

Lireinne didn't speak right away. “Like, how come you never called me?” The words burst from her mouth. “I wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn't even call me back.” Her voice was small in the echoing space around them, but Emma heard the hurt in it clearly. In spite of her veneer of sophistication, her newfound worldliness, the girl's question was as plaintive as a seven-year-old child's.

Knowing she'd been the cause of the pain evident in that voice, Emma sighed with deep regret. “Oh, Lireinne—that awful day at the trailer, I wanted so much to explain, to apologize for everything but . . .”

Lireinne said in that same small hurt voice, “But I wouldn't let you. I know.” She buried her face in her folded arms, and to Emma's sorrow she realized the girl was crying, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

“Lireinne, honey! I'm so, so sorry. I wasn't strong enough to understand you then, but I am now.” Before she could stop herself Emma wrapped her arms around those slim, heaving shoulders, her lips pressed to the crown of Lireinne's dark head. She kissed her hair gently, stroking her back. “I'm listening now. Please don't cry.”

Her face still buried in her arms, Lireinne fumbled for Emma's hand at her shoulder and found it. Holding on with a grip that felt like ice, her voice was muffled as she said, “I thought if I could get away, if I was ever here in Paris, everything would be
different
.”

Emma's eyes filled with her own tears, crying for the girl who'd run all the way to France to escape her memories, her pain. “And everything
is
different, isn't it? Aren't you happy here?” She squeezed Lireinne's cold hand. “You've come so far. Bud and I are very proud of you. How brave you've been, how independent you've become!”

But Lireinne didn't look up. Emma had to strain to hear her when she mumbled, “It's been sort of different, yeah. Nobody here calls me names, but almost everything's about work. If it weren't for my friend, if I hadn't gotten to know him, I don't know what I'd do. Sometimes I get scared, like everybody's going to decide I'm not really good enough to pull this model thing off. And it's hard, being so far away from home. That's weird, isn't it? Except for Bud and Wolf, I
hated
home. It was so freaking bad for me there.”

“I always knew that,” Emma said helplessly, her eyes streaming. She rubbed her face on the sleeve of her coat, still holding Lireinne close. “But you're not really alone anymore. I'll never desert you again, I promise.”

“It's just . . . it's like I got lost a long time ago. Like nobody can find me.”

“But we
did
find you. We'll always be here, whenever you need us.” Emma hugged Lireinne's shoulders tighter, swearing to herself that she'd not hurt this child ever again.

Life had taught her that she could leap willingly into the void, and now she'd have to trust herself to be equal to the challenge of loving Lireinne. Emma would dare to love all the people in her life—every day, every hour, every minute—despite the knowledge that love would sometimes be hard.

“Isn't there something we can do to help you?” she asked. “Besides being with you this weekend, I mean?”

Lireinne lifted her head and shook it despondently. “I don't think there's anything anyone can do.” She let go of Emma's hand and wiped her eyes. “God, I
hate
crying.”

Thinking of all her own tears over the years, Emma said, “Me too. Crying always leaves me feeling wrung out, like I've been through the spin cycle in some giant washing machine.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Releasing Emma's hand, Lireinne wiped her nose with her sleeve. “Look, I'm done being a baby. I'm just going to have to work this out on my own. I can do it. I always have. Don't worry about me, okay?”

Except Emma would. Even from across half the world, even during the months of silence, this girl had made her way into her heart. She lived there now.

“I won't worry,” Emma lied. “I believe in you. Let's just call it . . . a loving concern.”

“Whatever.” Lireinne sat quietly for a moment. She rubbed her face with both hands, her expression turning thoughtful. “Hey, now that I think about it, there
is
something you can do for me. Remember when you bought the feed for Mose, and the grooming stuff? Remember how I said I'd pay you back when I could? Well, I've got plenty of money now and I'm going to make a lot more, everybody tells me so. Like, I want to make everything square. I don't want to owe you
anything
.”

Emma found a low chuckle at that. “Like father, like daughter,” she murmured.

“What?”

“Nothing. Of course you can repay me, honey, if it's something you really want to do.”

Lireinne sighed. “Good. I want to start off on the right foot with you now, 'specially if you're going to stick around this time.”

“Oh, Lireinne,” Emma said with a watery smile. “I'll always be here, even if I have to cross a whole ocean to find you.”

“'Kay.” Lireinne sniffled. “Hey, after the collection previews this spring, I can come home for a week or so, I think. Good ol' Louisiana in the summertime.”

“That would be wonderful, even though it'll be hot. Wolf misses you, you know.”

“Yeah, I need to see him, too. It wasn't cool, not being able to come home for Christmas, but I was just getting started and it would've been a problem.” Lireinne paused, frowning.

“Oh, yeah,” she said, “there's one more thing you could do for me.”

“What's that, honey?”

Lireinne said in utmost seriousness, “Do you have a Kleenex? I need to blow my freaking nose.”

 

Bud was awake and pacing the small hotel room when Lireinne and Emma returned that morning. His weathered face broke into a huge grin when they opened the door.

“Bud!” Lireinne ran headlong across the room and threw her arms around him. “Oh my God, I can't believe you're really here!”

The big man enfolded her in a bear hug. “Baby girl, I didn't know if I was gonna make it, but I swore nothing was gonna stop me from tryin'. Here, let me look at you.” Holding her away from him, taking her in, Bud's eyes widened. “I'll be danged,” he said. “Look at you.”

“I know—it's great, right?” Lireinne turned in a quick, laughing circle, her arms stretched wide in delight. “Check me out. Like, this is what all the hosers are gonna be wearing this spring!”

Five minutes later the three of them were sitting in the hotel's lounge, a jewel box of a room with gleaming chestnut-wood paneling; deep, soft armchairs; and a small coal fire burning bright in the grate of the black marble fireplace. The concierge had been dispatched to bring them coffee. Bud couldn't keep his eyes off Lireinne, Emma noted fondly. His hungry gaze followed her when she got up to go make a quick call, watching as she stepped outside the hotel's glass doors onto the grimy Paris sidewalk with her cell phone held to her ear. She was talking with animation to whoever was on the other end, her face glowing in the cold.

“She's awful pretty these days, but she's too thin,” Bud said gloomily to Emma. “Don't you think so? I mean, I know models ain't supposed to be fat, but there's hardly nothing left to her, in my opinion. It's damned cold here, too. What if she gets sick?”

At that moment, the concierge, an older, dark-suited Frenchman with a military bearing and a mustache as thin and precise as a pencil line, appeared. He carried a tray laden with a steaming silver urn of coffee, a smaller pitcher of hot milk, and a plate of buttery croissants. With a courteous nod to Emma and Bud, he placed the tray on the low table in front of the fire and went back to manning the front desk, leaving them alone together.

Emma poured the coffee, added milk, and handed Bud his cup. “She's lost some weight, but she doesn't look unhealthy to me. Her color's good and she seems to have plenty of energy.”

In fact, during the cab ride back to the hotel Lireinne had been consumed with excitement about seeing Bud again, talking enthusiastically about the plans she'd made for the weekend. “We ought to go to Galleries Lafayette this afternoon.” Lireinne eyed Emma's drab wool coat and heavy shoes with a scarcely disguised disapproval. “It's a fantastic place to shop, and you should get some new clothes. Tonight we'll go out to dinner and celebrate. Bud likes good food, you know, and there's so many
great
places to eat in Paris. I can't wait to take y'all to this bistro I know, just around the corner from the hotel. My friend made us reservations there, but we can go anywhere you want. It's going to be totally awesome wherever we eat.”

“Do you go out often?” Emma asked, curious.

Lireinne shrugged. “I'm sure no cook. Besides, the kitchen in my apartment is about the size of a freaking plane bathroom—like, it's
tiny
. I love French food. It's not as fattening as you think, either, and I hardly have to diet at all, I spend so much time on my feet. Everybody in Paris walks everywhere. Luigi keeps me running, too. He's bat-shit nervous about the collection, but Luciana tells me he always gets this way before the premieres.”

Noting again that Lireinne seemed thinner, Emma had to ask. “I see you've lost some weight. You are eating properly, right? You're not doing something . . . dangerous, are you?”

Lireinne laughed. “I'm fine, Emma. I'm usually hungry a lot of the time, but when I get a chance to eat, I chow down like a big dog. I'm not throwing up or some stupid shit like that. I've only lost five pounds, but on me it looks like a lot more. I'm really lucky that way. Some girls have it a lot harder.” She added, “I know this isn't going to last forever. One day I won't model anymore, but for now keeping those five pounds off is just part of the job.”

Remembering that conversation, watching Lireinne talk on her phone outside on the sidewalk, Emma said to Bud, “I believe you can trust her judgment. She's becoming wise about so much, so fast. I think Lireinne's really growing up.”

Bud nodded. “I just don't want her to be lonely. This is a hell of a big town.”

Outside on the sidewalk, Emma realized that Lireinne had been joined by a tall, angular, young man with a pair of narrow glasses perched on an aquiline nose, wearing what had to be a custom-tailored suit and a rich-looking tie. They shared a quick embrace, but Emma immediately sensed that this was no casual acquaintance.

“Ah,” she said. “Don't look now, but I think our girl has invited someone to meet us.”

Bud's honest face turned quizzical. “Like who?” Before Emma could answer, the hotel's glass doors swung open. The concierge looked up, smiled at the two young people, and went back to his newspaper.

The beautiful girl and the tall man walked across the lobby, their steps light, their hands clasped like lovers.

“Emma, Bud,” Lireinne said, her smile as luminous as a dawn star. “You've got to meet Julien Moreau, my friend. He wants to take us to lunch at Hediard. Y'all ready to go? I'm, like, totally
starving
.”

 

No, this beast had become something
Other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The suggested questions are included
to enhance your group's reading
of Amy Conner's
Million Dollar Road.