Mind Over Fear: How To Squash Your Fears, Overcome Anxiety, and Boost Your Self-Esteem In Just 30 Days (5 page)

Of course, there are many skeptics who don’t believe in the existence of the law of attraction because there is no solid scientific evidence to prove it. However, one must understand that just because something can’t be proven with a basic experiment doesn't necessarily mean it isn’t true. Take for example when Democritus first purposed the idea of the atom only to face strong opposition from people just because he couldn’t immediately prove it. At one point everyone believed the world was flat and anyone who suggested otherwise was laughed at. The pages of history are filled with examples just like these.
 

Although there is no single experiment that proves the existence of the law of attraction, there are many that do come close. It is also believed that the law of attraction may never be proven because the very nature of this law will affect every experiment. This means that the results of the experiment will always reflect the attitude (thoughts) of the person conducting it. If you ask me, I believe there is more than enough evidence to prove that your thoughts play a major role on the quality of your life.

If you need an experiment to prove this, just think about situations where two people may come from the same backgrounds, who have the same amount of connections and knowledge, yet only one of them is able to consistently get superior results. To give you a specific example, just look at someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He came to the United States without a lot of money in his pocket. He couldn’t speak English very well, and it seemed as if all odds were stacked against him, but he went on to concurring some of the toughest industries in the world; sports, movies, and politics. In his interviews, speeches, and books, he often talks about how the mind is more important than anything else. If you take a few minutes to think about it, you will find plenty of other examples. So shouldn’t results like these be accepted as evidence?

At this point you are probably wondering, “what does all this have to do with anxiety, and what role does it play in my life?” Well, we have established that your mind is always communicating with universal mind, which in effect creates our physical reality. We also established that most of your thoughts are happening on a subconscious level, meaning that if someone was to manipulate your thinking process by implanting disempowering beliefs into your subconscious, as a result you would instantly become a transmitter of vibration for the manipulators. In other words, if a small group of individuals were to control the minds of the majority of the word’s population, this would allow them to create any reality they desire.

As crazy as all this sounds, and as important as it seems, I would like you to switch your attention for a moment to something that is even more important. If you want to eliminate anxiety and experience a much better quality of life you must understand that there is a hierarchy of laws that specifically apply to fear and anxiety. Just like the law that states, “where there is plenty of light there can’t be darkness,” there is also a law that states, “where there is self-confidence there can’t be anxiety.” I suggest you think about this for a moment. Doesn’t it make sense?

If you fully understand that self-confidence and anxiety can’t exist in the same place at the same time, you must also understand that based on the senior law (law of attraction), what you focus your attention on most of the time is what you will experience even more. So what exactly does this mean? Well, if you are always thinking about the fact that you have anxiety and that you have to find a way to get rid of it, this will attract even more anxiety into your life. As long as you fixate your attention on anxiety it will always be a big part of your life and at this point you are doing it subconsciously without even realizing it. In order to find a cure and eliminate anxiety from your life forever you must first begin to focus not on curing anxiety, but on developing unshakable self-confidence and self-esteem.

In the next couple of chapters I will show you what needs to be done in order to transform your fears and anxieties into total self-confidence. Before moving on to the next chapter, I would like to really encourage you to reread this chapter if you feel like you didn’t really grasp the reason why it is so vitally important for you to develop self-confidence and not try to overcome anxiety. This alone should have a profound effect on you going further. If you are ready to start developing total self-confidence, then let’s move on to the next chapter.

As promised, in the following chapters you will learn what needs to be done in order to completely eliminate your irrational fears and anxiety and gain total self-confidence. At this point, you should be well-informed about how important the subconscious mind is and that it controls nearly every aspect of your day-to-day life. More importantly, it is your beliefs that control how to you see and experience events and circumstances. Ultimately it’s your beliefs that determine the quality of your life.

The sad truth is that over many thousands of years, generation after generation, people have been virally conditioned to believe things that will only allow them to experience a mediocre quality of life. Statistics say that a great number of our population will die with most of their dreams unfulfilled, but what’s even worse is that the suffering will continue for as long as we are willing to religiously listen to what the media is feeding us.
 

I once heard a great quote by Earl Nightingale; he said: “You become what you think about most of the time.” His statement rings so much truth, but the only problem is that by the time most of us hear this quote we’ve already been conditioned to think in disempowering ways.

The only way to get out of this hypnotic trance is by standing guard at the gate of our subconscious minds. We couldn’t do that when we were young, but the only thing stopping us now is our own subconscious. Of course you are probably ready to say that it is easier said than done, but I’m here to tell you that it is absolutely possible and you will learn how right here in the next couple of chapters. Remember, due to the laws of the universe anything is possible; you just need the right set of tools, techniques, and strategies.

It took me over seven years to develop a system called “30 Days To Total Self-Confidence.” This system allows you to completely eliminate anxiety in as little as 30 days. Using this system I was able to completely eliminate social anxiety from my life and the lives of many of my private clients. In the remaining few chapters I will reveal this entire system and explain how to use it in order to gain self-confidence and free yourself from fear and anxiety.
 

Many social anxiety sufferers are concerned about not knowing what to say in social situations. They feel like they will definitely embarrass themselves if they open their mouth; therefore, they firmly believe that gaining self-confidence won’t help. If you can relate to this, you need to remember that ninety percent of the time it’s not what you say that counts, it’s how you say it.

Communication is just like any other skill, you can only develop it with practice, but it will become effortless when you become a confident person. Think about it, most of the time you say nothing not because you don’t know what to say, but because you are worried about whether or not it is the right thing to say. The truth is, great conversationalists are impulsive and say whatever feels right at the moment. Self-confidence will help you stop over thinking and just speak what’s on your mind without worrying about how it will be perceived by others.

Before I can give you the steps to gaining self-confidence you must understand one simple thing. You are not anxiety and there is nothing wrong with you. Allow me to explain, many anxiety sufferers believe that anxiety is actually a part of their personality; therefore, it is a part of them, but this is absolutely, categorically not true. Again, you have to be very careful who you listen to and what you believe.
 

The truth is that anxiety is simply a word that represent sensations you experience in certain situations. These sensations in your body can be considered a part of your personality; however, your personality has nothing to do with who you truly are. The word personality comes from the Greek word “persona,” which means mask. To be more specific, this word was used to represent the masks performers would wear in the early days of theatre in ancient Greece during the fifth century B.C.

This means all of your current believes compose a mask that you are now permanently wearing. Just because society forced this mask on you doesn’t mean that this is who you are. The word personality is just another way to make sure that you see the world from a perspective of “what you see is what you get, and you can’t do anything about it.”
 

Before you can eliminate anxiety, you must first drop any current beliefs about who you truly are and what you are capable of. I suggest that you find a quiet place and take at least 5 - 10 minutes to really look deep inside your heart and soul to find out who you really are and what you stand for.
 

What are your true dreams and desires? Make sure they are not based on what others want and expect from you, but that they are truly yours. One of the best ways to determine whether you really want something or not is by asking, “why do I want this?” or ”why is this important to me?” Dig deeper and deeper using these questions until you hit something solid.

Just to give you a little more motivation, I would like to share with you something that a woman who worked in palliative care shared with the world. This woman spent many years of her life caring for patents that had gone home to die. With her patients she would usually spend somewhere between the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. She says that when her patients were questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, she would always hear a variation of the following five responses.
 

“I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
She says this was the most common regret of all. When a dying person realizes that his or her life is almost over and they look back on their lives it became very clear to them that almost half of their dreams were unfulfilled.

“I wish I didn't work so hard.”
They would regret not spending enough time with the people they loved.

“I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.”
Suppressing their feeling kept them from reaching their true potential and experiencing a better quality of life. Many of them even developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they kept inside.

“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
She says that many of her patients become so caught up in their own lives that they had let great friendships slip by. Every single one of them was missing their friends when they were on their death beads.

“I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. She says that when you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind, and most of her patients wished they didn’t care so much about what others thought of them when they still had time.

At this point you should have a good understanding of what beliefs are and how they control every aspect of your life. In this chapter will will look at the beliefs of self-confident people. We will also explore what you will need to do in order to eliminate your disempowering subconscious beliefs and replace them with those beliefs of self-confident individuals.

Now let’s take a look at what defines a self-confident person. A self-confident person is someone who’s subconscious mind is predominantly composed of empowering beliefs. On the other hand, those who lack self-confidence are mostly controlled by disempowering beliefs.
 

A human brain is much like a computer. Imagine a world where all computers are built with very similar hardware, the same way that human beings are born with similar physical attributes. The only thing that allows us to distinguish one computer from another is the software installed on them. The same thing is true with human beings. Our physical attributes are almost identical, but what truly separates us from each other is the way our brains are “wired”.

In a computer world, if you want to have computer number 2 run the same software as computer number 1, all you have to do is uninstall some of the software that is already on computer number 2, and replace it with the same software that is installed on computer number 1. This is how you would make two computers identical to each other.

We can actually do the same thing with our brain. With a few mental tweaks we can reprogram our brain to get rid of fear, anxiety, and replace it with self-confidence. Certainly, it won’t be as easy as clicking a few buttons on a computer, but with a little bit of effort, patients, and commitment, it can be done.

Before we can start “rewiring” your brain we must know how it’s wired right now. More specifically, we will need to change your disempowering subconscious beliefs into empowering beliefs. However, we need to know what these disempowering beliefs are before we can do it.

Metaphorically speaking, if you want to travel to place where you’ve never been before, you will need to take out a map and figure out the following three things. Where are you right now? As soon as you would figure that out, you would place a marker on the map. Your next question would have to be, “where exactly do I want to go?” Once again, you would mark it down on the map. And your last question would have to be, “what is the most efficient way for me to reach my destination from my current location?”

A similar process applies to gaining self-confidence. Since you already know your destination, all you need to do right now is determine what your current beliefs are. Later, I will show you the quickest way to get to your desired end result, which is self-confidence.

One of the best ways to determine your current beliefs is by using metaphors. A metaphor is a figure of speech that usually implies a comparison between two things that aren’t alike. For example, if someone feels emotionally hurt they might say, “He tore my heart to pieces.” Or if the person feels happy, he or she might say “I’m in heaven,” or “I’m on cloud nine.” Even though none of these were literal statements, we know what they mean.