I squeeze my arms around his neck. “Stay. Remington,
stay.
Be my male prisoner. I promise to take care of you all day, every day.”
He laughs a rich male sound, looking into me with those heartbreaking blue eyes, then he scans my place with curiosity, and I feel butterflies when I see his genuine interest. He wants to see where I live. Oh, god, I love him so much it hurts me.
“I’ll give you a quick tour, and then you have to get your fine ass out of here,” I warn him.
He grins. “Show me my woman’s lair.”
With him carrying me around, I spread my hand out and show him my colorful living room. “My living room, Melanie decorated. She’s really good. Eclectic. She’s been mentioned in some local magazines, too, but of course she dreams about being featured in
Architectural Digest.
Pandora, one of my other friends, tells her she has a better shot at
Playboy
, though. They’re decorating rivals and like to pick on each other.”
He winks at me, and the wink travels all the way to form a little tingling in my gut as I point to the room adjoining. “And then that’s my kitchen. Small, but it’s only me here. And then the door here takes us to . . . my bedroom.”
We go in, and he sets me down at the foot of the bed; then he takes it all in with quiet wonder. I glance around and look at it through his eyes. It’s simple, the walls in nude colors. Some black-and-white pictures of athletes hang on the walls—close-ups of muscles. There’s a pinup wall with pictures of me, Melanie, Pandora, Kyle . . . some other friends. . . . I have two nutritional charts hanging, speaking of carbs, protein, healthy fats. And a framed quote Melanie gave me:
A CHAMPION IS SOMEONE WHO GETS UP WHEN HE CAN’T.—JACK DEMPSEY.
She got it for me when I damaged my ACL and was depressed, and I tried to be this champion.
I am looking at one now. Every day I look at one.
He walks to the pinup wall and inspects a picture of me sprinting past a finish line—number 06 on my chest—and runs his thumb over the photograph. “Look at you,” he says with ill-concealed male pride, and I didn’t realize I’d walked over to him until he turns and spots me.
He scoops me up and sets me back on my bed, this time in the center, brushing some escaped tendrils of hair back behind my forehead. “Stay off your feet for me,” he chides.
“I will. I forgot. It’s habit.” I scoot back so I rest against my headboard and pull him to me.
“You should go or I won’t let you leave me,” I whisper in his ear.
He cuddles me for a moment, his hard, solid arms wrapped snugly around my waist as he ducks his head and kisses, licks, and scents my neck, swiftly alternating between the three. He’s never scented me as much as he has in the past two hours. Now, he scents me slowly and deeply, then licks me just as slowly, and I feel his attentions, and lastly, his kiss, right in my sex. “When you tell me you’re in bed, this is what I’ll picture. This is what you see,” he rumbles as he lifts his head.
I’m getting teary, but don’t want to make this any worse, so I nod, but I know there’s no way on earth he could miss the crumpled expression on my face.
His eyes clasp mine as he draws back. “I’ll be back soon,” he tells me, cupping my cheek in his big, callused hand, and I hate that a tear slips out. He smiles at me, but that smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll be here soon,” he repeats.
“I know.” I wipe my cheek, take his hand, and set a kiss inside his palm, then curl his fingers around it so that whether he wants my kiss or not, he holds it. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Shit, come here.” He crushes me in his arms, and all my efforts to hold myself in check are shot to hell, and the waterworks begin. I start bawling.
“It’s all right,” he says, smoothing his hands down my back as a series of wrenching sobs take over me.
It’s all right,
I hear,
it’s all right, little firecracker,
but I just don’t feel like it’s all right. How could it be? He could need me.
I
need
him
. He could be black, and Pete could shoot more shit into his neck. Something could happen in a fight and they could not tell me because of not wanting to stress me and cause me to lose the baby. I feel weak and helpless when all I wanted in life was to be strong and independent. But I fell deeply and irrevocably in love. And now I am ruled by this love, for
this
man, who sounds like thunder when he talks in my ear, and smells like soap and him and like the ocean, and holds me in the strongest arms in the world—and when these arms are gone, my whole world will be gone with them.
“You need to go,” I say, dragging in a ragged breath as I push him away. Instead he sets his forehead and his nose against mine, and we breathe each other’s air.
We just don’t need to say it.
I love you
crackles between us and I hear the words as if he were yelling them to me.
He takes my hand, kisses my knuckles fiercely, and then frames my face and wipes my tears with his thumbs. “You okay, baby firecracker?”
“I will be. More than okay,” I promise.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I shakily check the message.
“Melanie is five minutes away.” My voice is raw. Mel knows where I keep my spare key and will burst in here any minute, and Remington will leave.
He will
leave.
My eyes blur again. “Please go before I cry,” I beg. Which is ridiculous, because I’m already crying like a baby and feel and probably look like shit. He curls his fingers around the back of my neck and closes his eyes as he leans his head on mine. “Think of me like crazy.”
“You know I will.”
Stormy blue eyes hold mine, his voice gruff as he leans over. “Now give me a kiss.”
I do, and he groans softly as his lips connect with mine. Little fireworks explode in me, and I feel his kiss, soothing my mind and my soul and my heart too. He spreads out his hand and fondles the small of my back gently as we kiss, low, deep, savoring, memorizing; then his mouth comes back up to absorb a stray tear from my cheek.
“Brookey!! Where’s the hot dad and the upcoming momma?”
He curses under his breath, and we kiss quickly once more. He nips and sucks my tongue, more roughly now, holding the back of my head in his hand, his delicious, raw kiss making my body feel sucked and bitten by a lion. My breasts hurt. My nipples throb in my bra.
And I squirm and press my thighs together as he finally edges away, our eyes briefly meeting. Clinging. His are hot and desperately hungry, like he’s a moment away from tearing my clothes off.
“You’re everything I never knew I wanted.” He tucks back another tendril of hair behind my ear, his eyes a little too brilliant as he draws back. “And all mine, remember that tidbit.” I hear Mel’s heels clicking outside, and Remington stands, somehow looking bigger than ever. Large, hard, blue-eyed, and beautiful. “Completely mine,” he says. “Brooke Dumas.”
A shudder runs through me as he backs away, his stare pinning me down on the bed.
I feel fucked here, in my bed, with his eyes alone, as I try to recover my breath. “I’m pregnant with your baby, if there was any doubt about whose I was,” I tell him.
“You’re both mine,” he says, pointing straight at me. “Especially you.”
I swallow back my excitement, and he turns to leave.
“Hey!” I call. “You’re
mine
, too.”
He nods, then flings his iPod in my direction. “Don’t miss me too much.”
I catch it and hold it against my chest. “I won’t!” I flippantly retort, all false bravado, then his low voice rumbles out in the hall, and I hear Melanie quietly reassure him, and then comes the awful sound of my front door closing.
A stillness follows, the kind of stillness I sense only when he’s not around.
That’s when I tuck my face into my pillow and bawl my eyes out.
NINE
A RAINBOW IN SEATTLE
Melanie is the best thing about Seattle, and anyone who thinks otherwise can just kiss her ass. Mel is like a permanent rainbow in a city that’s eternally gray. From her flashy earrings to the line of bracelets up to her elbow, she clinked and clanked her way into my room in an explosion of colors, trying to cheer me up when my world had just walked out my apartment door and it took all my willpower to keep from running after him.
Mel took the merest second to assess the situation before taking action. She spotted the bawling mass on my bed, which was me, and she quickly pried my pillow free and replaced it with her big-breasted chest, and now her designer top is soaked from my tears as she waits for me to run out of them.
It’s been at least a half hour, or more, and I’m still going strong. Every couple of minutes, I just seem to need to pause for air.
Now, in one of my breathing moments, she pushes me away to stare into my eyes with a saucy curve of her lips. “You weren’t lying when you said Riptide Tate wanted you to be the mother of his sexy babies, were you? You two got right down to work, didn’t you! Huh?” She shoulders me a little and peers down at my stomach. “So when are you going to show? I want to see a little bump somewhere!”
“I know! Me too!” A smile tips my lips as I think about this baby. Oh, baby, the things you’re asking us to do to prove that we love you. “I want to show so bad, Mel.”
She grins at that, then examines me with assessing green eyes. “Hmm. Pregnancy glow. You’ve got it in spades, even with those weepy eyes. I can’t wait to be pregnant—I think it’s so sexy!” she cries. “What most makes pregnant being sexy to me is the fact that the baby daddy is sexy. It’s just
sexy
having a part of them inside you! How does it feel? Chicken, you have to feel like a woman now; you got the sexiest baby daddy there is!”
Oh god, I can’t even talk about Remington with my best friend without feeling my bones turn liquid inside me. Even my voice takes on a different tone—the exact same tone it seems to take when I’m alone in bed with him and loving him. “It feels amazing, Mel. Like he’s with me. Like we’re bound. Like I was supremely, royally fucked.” I groan and lie back in bed and rub my lips, and I love that I can still taste my Riptide on them.
“Brooke, let me just say . . .” Mel drops down on her back next to me and stares at my ceiling. “When I saw him just now, I felt like dying a little inside. He’s so big and so hot my heels almost melted and I instantly felt four inches shorter.”
I can’t control my sudden burst of laughter, and Mel kicks her shoes off and rolls to her side, smiling at me in signature Melanie mischief. “His mouth was all red like he’d just French-kissed you to death. Riptide is a bit of a Neanderthal, isn’t he? He’s so fucking primal, ohmigod! I bet you guys do anal sex.”
“We do not! He’s animal but protective!” I squeal, squirming a little at the thought.
“Doggy style for sure?”
“Yes, but stop reminding me!” I cry good-humoredly. Then I close my eyes and spread my hands open on my abdomen savoring his baby inside me. “There’s truly something extremely sensual about being pregnant by him,” I admit. “I’m so hyperaware of my body, how it feels, how it is changing for this little baby. I feel my ribs and hips expanding to make room for it, my breasts changing, all of me . . .” I sigh, then turn my head and stare at my best friend. The only one who ever really “got” me until Remy. The only one who likes me in any form I’ve come. “Mel, I can’t lose this baby.”
The smile she had been wearing vanishes, and she squeezes my hand over my still-flat abdomen. “You won’t. It’s Riptide’s baby.”
“We didn’t know there was a pity party here, but we’re glad we didn’t miss it!” says a male voice from the open door.
Sniffling, I lift my head to see my best male friend, Kyle, in Dockers and a polo shirt, standing right next to Pandora, her dark hair held back in a careless knot that sends spikes out of her hair everywhere. “You’re
preggo
?” she demands.
“According to tons of lab work and pregnancy tests, yes. But my body still hasn’t gotten the complete memo, aside from the throwing-up part.”
Kyle heads to my desk and flips the chair around, and Pandora jumps on the bed with shoes and everything, her leather jacket suddenly all I can smell.
“Pan-Pan, I don’t really feel like your vibe is babyish enough for Brookey, so you sit over there.” Melanie pats her side so she gets me all by herself, but Pandora reaches over me and shoves her playfully.
“Shush up, let me hug her.”
Pandora looks at me, with her dark eyes and dark lipstick. People don’t know that goths are extremely sensitive people—at least, Pandora is. You turn goth for a reason. I think she’s just naturally dramatic and angsty, and it was all after some asshole broke her heart. It’s a miracle, Mel says, that Pandora didn’t turn lesbian.
“You okay?” Pan asks, and before I can nod or speak, she pulls me into her leather jacket, and I feel Melanie snuggle my back too. Melanie can’t ever resist a hug. She even says
hmmm.
“It’s gonna be all right, Brookey,” Mel says. Then she adds in my ear, “I promised your man I’d take care of you. He asked me to make sure you were not alone, were well fed, and taken care of. Riley told me he and Pete will need a daily report from me so they can keep Remington appeased, and he also told me you’ve been puking and that your baby daddy wants you to fucking eat!”
I groan in protest and ease away from their hug. “I’m all right. When I get hungry, I’ll eat something. If my body wants food, it will tell me. Guess what hunger was designed for?”
“We don’t care if you
want
to eat or not. We’re your man’s minions on a mission, and we already got you something, in memory of old times,” Kyle informs me as he gets up from the chair and returns with a Jack in the Box bag. That instant, I vividly remember how these three dopes teased Pete and Riley before in the drive-through, ages ago, the night Remington hired me. And I think of that fateful evening, and how he’d already changed my life without me even realizing. All my feelings crowd around my chest, and as Kyle brings over the bag, a surge of nausea overtakes me.