Minimize Me: 10 Diets to Lose 25 Lbs in 50 Days (2 page)

Boredom.

I’ve struggled with
boredom for as long as I can remember, and it was boredom that led me to start
writing my first book. Fed up with watching everyone around me falling asleep
on the train, I vowed to do something with the time that they were wasting and
ended up penning a bestseller, much to my surprise. Most people long for a bit
of downtime – a gap in their busy lives where they don’t have to do anything or
be anywhere, but the thought of that genuinely terrifies me.

I find it very hard to
relax, so much so that I have never had an afternoon nap or an early-evening
snooze. Not once. I’m petrified that I’ll miss something, so instead I find
myself having to fill the little gaps or pauses in my life, either with news,
podcasts or as now, with writing. I accept that I am a little strange in that
regard. With diets, once I have read all I can about them and have understood
the concept, I get very bored very quickly and find it hard to see it through.
It is for this reason that I came up with the idea which led to this book. Why
should people have to stick to just one diet? Could it be possible that by
changing diets regularly, you could still lose weight without suffering the
boredom factor? Could it actually be a recipe for longer-term success?

I decided to look at the
facts.

1) I needed to lose
weight.

2) I get bored very
quickly.

3) I have a history of
setting myself silly, self-imposed challenges.

So, while others around me
were falling asleep on their Friday evening commute, I decided to commit the
rules of my latest self-imposed challenge to digital paper. It was simple. Try
out 10 different diets in order to lose 25 lbs in 50 days.

While the numbers 10, 25
and 50 were simply plucked from my head, they did have some deeper meaning. I
work in accounts, so numbers ending in 5 and 0 are always pleasing to the eye.
People are always striving for double figures, so when I decided I would be
trying out different diets, 10 seemed an obvious choice. 25 and 50 are numbers
that people likewise aim for, no matter whether it’s people in long term
marriages or footballers scoring goals. 25 lbs seemed about right, too. It’s
enough weight to make a difference, but not enough to risk any long-term damage
to my body. 50 days was carefully thought out as I figured that five days on
each diet was long enough to have experienced it, but not long enough to be
bored by it. It also means that I’ll be done and dusted before Christmas and I
can do as I please over the festive period!

I’m sure that doing so
many diets over such a short period of time will raise a few eyebrows. In fact
the NHS website makes their stance very clear. What I’m about to embark on
could be called a ‘Crash Diet’ and the NHS warn that....

"Crash diets don’t
work for long-term weight loss and most aren’t healthy".

They go on to advise that
it is "best to lose weight gradually by eating a healthy, balanced diet,
combined with regular physical activity" and I honestly can’t argue with
that. My issue however is that, having tried doing just that nineteen times
already, I still find myself being defined as obese. I’m aware that my idea of
introducing a new diet every few days could be considered as irresponsible to
some, unsustainable to others and just plain stupid to most, but I’m keen to
give it a shot.

I’ve decided that the ten
diets I will be following will be DIY diets, not diets run by
multi-million-pound companies or diets promoted and endorsed by celebrities.
They don’t need my help when it comes to advertising their products, and I
could do without the risk of lawsuits. DIY diets are those that are available
in the public domain and can be simply researched on the internet. I really
don’t want to waste any more time or money going to weigh-ins or filling out
membership forms or subscriptions.

DIY diet plans are often
criticised for being faddy in nature and unhealthy in practice. Once again, the
NHS website warns that "Diet plans like this are not recommended for
weight loss and can make you feel unwell. Depending on the type of diet, it
may: slow down your metabolism (the rate at which your body turns food into
energy), prevent you from getting important nutrients and vitamins that your
body needs to work properly, reduce your intake of carbohydrates (such as
pasta, bread and rice), which are an essential source of energy, increase your
intake of protein and fat; too much saturated fat can raise your cholesterol
and increase your risk of heart disease and stroke".

I’ll admit that reading those
last few sentences did make me wonder if I was doing the right thing. It
therefore seemed sensible to undertake this challenge only after taking both
medical and nutritional advice. In order to ensure that I’m healthy throughout
the process, and that I’m not putting myself into any danger, I’ll have a
medical before, during and after the process. I’ll have my weight and blood
pressure checked as well as a blood test to check my sugars and cholesterol.

I’ve also decided to seek
the help of a professional. It seems sensible to me to speak to a nutritionist
throughout this process. While I intend to ignore almost everything they have
to say, they will at least be able to give me an insight into the mechanics of
the food that I am consuming and how it might be affecting me. I’m also
interested to hear what they have to say when I tell them what I’m about to
embark on.

The article on the NHS
website finishes with a final few words of warning.

"Most diets are not
healthy, and crash dieting for a long time can be harmful. Some are so
restrictive that you may not have the willpower to stick to them".

In a strange way, that
last sentence filled me with a small amount of optimism. It almost proves my
point that changing a diet every few days is a good thing.

Booking my health
screening was easy enough, but explaining to the nurse why I needed it was a
little trickier. "So what brings you here today?" She asked cheerily.
"I’m writing a book," I explained. She looked at me, a little confused.
I could see it was an answer she wasn’t expecting. Had she asked "What do
you do in your spare time?" It would have seemed a perfectly reasonable
response, but the words "I’m writing a book" didn’t seem to make
sense given her line of questioning. "That’s nice," she said.
"Are you left or right-handed?" She still looked confused, but at
least she seemed willing to find out a little more about it. "Oh, no, I
don’t write by hand, I use my iPad." "I need to take some
blood," she said matter-of-factly. "Which arm should I use?" I
pointed her to my left arm and she took the necessary blood as well as my blood
pressure reading and my weight. She never did find out what I was writing
about, and I’m certain that I was the subject of the surgery’s tea-break tittle-tattle.

The blood results and
blood pressure readings meant little to me as I didn’t understand the numbers
and had no point of reference. I decided therefore to put those figures to one
side and to look at them in more detail at the end of the project, when I had
some other figures to compare them to. The one measurement that I knew plenty
about, and that I would be focusing on heavily throughout the project, was the
weight measurement. Those particular numbers had been burned into my retinas as
I stared down at them at the surgery that morning. As I was about to step onto
the scales, I remember being embarrassed and annoyed that I had chosen a pair
of socks with a hole in them, but as soon as the numbers 101.5 kg presented
themselves to me, tatty socks were a distant memory. 101.5 kg equates to 224
lbs as an imperial measurement if you’re American, or 16 stone if you’re weird
like us Brits. If I were to succeed in my challenge it would mean getting down
to a weight of 90 kilos, or 14 stone 3lb, in just 50 days.

A good friend of mine, and
fellow author, George Mahood (go and buy his books, they are fantastic) put me
in touch with a nutritionist called Louis Bedwell. Louis is a 21-year-old
student with a difference. While most students spend their spare time stealing
traffic cones and throwing up on themselves, Louis has raised over £10,000 for
Cancer Research UK. Following his mother’s cancer diagnosis, he set up a
fundraising project called 'The One Expedition' which included 24-hour world
record attempts, world firsts and 260-mile solo treks. Louis has gone on to
tour the country, lecturing tens of thousands of people, and was recently
rewarded with the title of 'Young Fundraiser of the Year'. Not content with
that, he has also found time to complete a foundation degree in Nutrition as
well as working alongside some of the world’s top mountaineers and adventurer
Dave Cornthwaite on various projects.

Louis’ nutritional
expertise has already been utilised to create a range of fully natural sports
nutrition products which have been trialled by Olympians and adventurers, and
he assisted the development of the Perkier Porridges recipe, a product which is
now available in supermarkets nationwide. All that at just 21. At the age of 21
my main achievements amounted to a 60-75% attendance record at work and being
holder of the Monday-night Chicken Burger Challenge. Success in the latter may
have contributed to my lack of success in the former…

I arranged to meet Louis
in a coffee shop near Charing Cross, and as I set up the microphone and
prepared my notes I remember feeling a little nervous. It was a strange feeling
because up until that point I had felt nothing but excitement. I put it down to
the fact that this was my last step before taking the plunge, and the closing
of our meeting would signal the start of my challenge. I tried to take my mind
off things by guessing what Louis would choose to drink. I ended up settling
for a flavoured tea, probably something fruity, but was surprised and perhaps a
little disappointed when he said, "Just a cappuccino, thanks, Andy."
I don’t know why, but I really wanted him to order something ridiculous. It was
a fancy coffee shop and I could see them having no problem preparing a tepid
glass of water with a slice of lemon with the rind removed. I was looking
forward to rolling my eyes as I ordered it and exchanging apologetic shrugs
with the server, conveying looks of ‘What can I do? I’m meeting up with a
nutritionist!’

Over the next hour or so I
tried my best to explain what it was that I was doing and exactly why I was
doing it. Louis nodded and smiled in all the right places, and once I had
finished I took a deep breath and waited for his response. "Ok, well, it
will certainly be interesting to see how you get on."

‘Interesting’ is a funny
word. While the dictionary will have you believe that it can be defined simply
as ‘arousing curiosity’ or ‘catching one’s interest’, what it usually means in
real life is ‘strange’ or ‘weird’. Have you met the new guy in IT? He seems
interesting. Have you seen what Suzie is wearing today? It’s very interesting.
So to have my project described as interesting by a nutritionist certainly set
my alarm-bells ringing. I was sure I had been marked down as a lunatic, and I
could sense that his coffee was being consumed with more urgency.

"It’s a lot of weight
to lose in a short period of time, and it’s not going to be sustainable,"
said Louis. "In a way, the fact that it is such a short period of time is
a good thing as you have less chance of doing any long-term damage," he
went on. As we talked more, Louis’s coffee-consumption returned to a rate that
I considered wasn’t symptomatic of someone looking to make a quick getaway, and
between us we were able to put the final touches together. I had prepared a short
list of twelve diets before we had met, and Louis helped me choose the final
ten based on his knowledge and experience.

Once the ten were
assembled, we set about choosing the order. It was an important decision to
make, because the diets were so varied and we had to ensure that I wasn’t going
from one diet that was severely deficient in one nutrient, straight onto
another with the same deficiency. It would be foolish, for example, to go
straight from the cabbage soup diet to the juice diet.

We talked more about the
dangers, the signs to look out for, and Louis agreed to hold my hand throughout
the project (not literally obviously), offering to send me all the nutritional
advice I needed as well as little tips and nuggets of information to get me through.
We also agreed that to make it fair, and to fit in with any normal weight-loss
regime, I should exercise once during each different diet phase. It took a
while for Louis to convince me that darts, snooker and bowling were unsuitable
due to their low intensity, but I eventually agreed to complete a 5k run during
each diet phase. We said our goodbyes at Charing Cross station – no awkward
hugs, just a simple handshake with the promise of keeping in touch by email. We
had agreed that we would meet up again in person at the end of the project and,
who knows, if I succeed maybe we’ll hug it out then.

As the train pulled out of
the station I took the time to fully digest what it was that I was about to
embark on. While I tried my best to put a positive spin on it, I couldn’t hide
from the fact that it was going to be fifty days of torture. I found little
comfort in the fact that the torture would be changing in nature every five
days. That’s like saying to someone, "I know that you’re finding the waterboarding
a little troublesome, but never fear – we’ll be using the thumbscrew on
Monday!"

The ten diets that I’ve
chosen, in the order that they will be undertaken, are as follows:

1)  The 5:2 diet

2)  The Special K diet

3)  The Balanced diet

4)  The Juice diet

5)  The Atkins diet

6)  The Raw Food diet

7)  The Baby Food diet

8)  The Calorie Controlled
diet

9)  The Grapefruit diet

10) The Cabbage Soup diet

So, having completed my
health screening, consulted with a nutritionist and finally decided on the
final ten diets and the order in which they’ll play out, the only thing left is
to inform my wife. I’m not in the habit of keeping things from her, aside from
the very rare occasions when her bum does in fact look big in what she’s
wearing, but I felt it best to keep this from her until the very last moment,
when it would be too late to turn back. My wife is incredibly supportive,
loving and understanding but I felt sure that had I told her my intentions from
the start, she would have tried her best to talk me out of it. Sure, she might
have had some concerns about the health implications, but she would have been
far more worried about having to deal with a short-tempered, petulant and
downright moody husband for fifty days straight…