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They stood like two strangers, watching Victoria's body lowered into the
ground so far from home, and Olivia put a small white flower on the
grave, and cried as she walked away, holding the baby. She could hardly
breathe it was so terrible. It was as though they had buried her, and
maybe they had. She had lost everything she loved in the last week, even
her children. But the loss of her twin was much more than that, it was
something physical that hurt so much she thought she would go mad from
the pain of it. It was almost beyond bearing.

They walked slowly back to the heart of the camp crying and not
speaking, both of them trying to absorb that Victoria had just been
buried. And before he could say anything to her, Olivia disappeared into
the women's barracks and didn't come out until morning. Charles asked
for her several times, but the people he asked were busy, tired, and
didn't seem to know her. There had been a recent influx of volunteers
and the women didn't know Olivia or her sister.

The nurses in the women's tent took the baby from Olivia when she came
in, and she just lay on her cot and cried all day. There was no one she
wanted to see or talk to, not even Charles, who she knew was still so
angry at her. All she could think of were the things he'd said to her
after she and Victoria had told him the truth, and the way he had looked
when he came to find her at the farmhouse.

They left for Bordeaux again the next morning at six o'clock, and before
they left, Olivia thanked Sergeant Morrison again, and all the nurses.

Dither came up to her with tears in his eyes, and kissed the baby
good-bye, saying he would never forget him, or his mother.

There were a handful of people waving good-bye as they left and Olivia
didn't know who most of them were, but the sad truth of it was that it
no longer mattered.

They were in Bordeaux late that afternoon and waited in the lobby of a
small hotel to board the ship at midnight. They had hardly any luggage
with them, and Olivia bought only a few things for the baby. All she
wanted now was to get him home safely. Nursing him, and loving him in
her sister's place, had begun to create a strong bond between them.

And little by little, even three months after her babies' birth, as she
nursed him, her milk started coming. But more than anything, nephew or
son, she felt as though he were the final gift from her sister.

And he was even more precious to her for that reason.

"What are you going to do with him? " Charles asked her quietly as they
waited in the hotel to board the Espagne again. They had only been gone
from New York for two weeks, but it felt like forever.

"I'll take him to Croton with me, ' she said quietly, as Charles watched
her.

"Is that where you're going? " he asked politely, and she nodded.

"I assume so, " she answered and he didn't say anything after that,
until they boarded.

They had two cabins on the return trip. He had requested them, assuming
she'd want them. The proprieties had to be observed now as Mr. Charles
Dawson, and Miss Olivia Henderson, and baby. Things were a little
different than on the way over. And Charles literally never saw her
while they were on board. He was still licking his wounds, thinking of
Victoria, and the mess they'd previously made, and keeping his distance.
And sensing all of it, Olivia never came out of her cabin, or if she
did, he never saw her.

He spent most of his time alone, thinking of the last time he'd seen
Victoria, and the things she'd said. She'd been right about all of it.

And he felt as though he'd made his peace with her, and she with him,
and he thought too about the things she'd said about her sister.

He could only imagine what a blow it must have been to Olivia to lose
her, the tearing of flesh from flesh, soul from soul, the peeling of
their hearts away, or maybe just the breaking of one heart. He couldn't
even imagine how Olivia was going to live without her. Nor could he
imagine that they had been crazy enough to switch places and have Olivia
live with him, as man and wife, for an entire year, and not tell him.

He thought of what Victoria had said then, that he must have known, and
didn't want to. He wondered if there was some truth in that, and thought
of the times when he'd almost suspected and then forced the thoughts out
of his mind because it was easier not to have them. He realized too that
Victoria must have promised Olivia a loveless relationship with no
physical demands involved, and then everything had changed ..

.

but everything had changed because .. . she'd been so gentle .. .

and so kind .. . and he had wanted her so badly. And married or not, he
had had something with her that he had never had with any other woman.

He remembered too the night the twins had been born. Stranger yet, he
had realized, as had Victoria and Olivia, that if you took the time
difference between the two places away, their babies had been born
within a few hours of each other. It was all so strange and so
incredible, and so difficult to sort out where one began and another
ended, where the lie was, or the truth, or merely the discreet
intention, it was difficult to know what had been love, or desire, and
she had been right about that too, he had been afraid to love her, and
he hadn't let her love him. But with Olivia it had all been so
different. He had lived a year with each of them, as insane as that was,
and it was clear to him now, who was his wife and the woman he loved,
and who wasn't.

It was their third day out, halfway to New York from France, when he
finally couldn't stand it any longer, and knocked on the door of her
cabin. Hers was smaller than his, but she had insisted on it, and she
had told him she would reimburse him as soon as they got home, which he
found insulting. He did not expect, or want, to be paid for her passage.

Olivia opened the door about two inches, and she looked terrible.

Thin and pale and tired, and it was obvious she had been crying.

"May I come in? " he asked politely. She hesitated, and then opened the
door a trifle wider.

"The baby's sleeping, " she said, as though to discourage him, and he
smiled.

"I'll try to keep my voice down. I've wanted to talk to you for days.

Since before your sister died, in fact. But I couldn't get near you.

I saw her the morning before .. . we had a good talk."

"She told me. She said you weren't angry at her anymore."

"I wasn't. I think she was right about a lot of things. I was just too
stupid to know it.

She was smarter and braver than I was. I'd have stuck around till the
ship went down, as it were. She got out. I should have."

"That's not always easy, " Olivia said softly, knowing it only too well
now.

But in her case, there was nothing to be out of. They weren't married.

It was all delusion.

"I wanted to apologize to you, " Olivia said then formally. "You were
right about what you said too. We had no right to do that to you.

It was wrong .. . I don't know what made us think it was all right, that
we had a right to .. . I just thought .. . I don't know, it seemed my
only chance at a life with you, which was really crazy."

"Not really." He smiled at her, still a bit stunned at what they'd done,
but in some ways, he could see their reasoning, though it still scared
him a little. "There really was no other way we could have gotten
together. And you were both right. We were good together."

"Were we? " she asked sadly.

"We are, " he said softly. "We're very good together, Olivia.

It would be wrong to give that up now. That's not what she wanted, " he
said very gently, afraid to even go near her, she looked so upset and so
frightened.

"And what do you want? " Olivia asked him, remembering the things he'd
said and the look of hatred, both outside the mess tent and at the
farmhouse, where he had looked as though he wanted to kill her. She had
never seen him as angry. What she didn't know was that he'd never been
as afraid. He was sure, by then, that she had been murdered by the
Germans, with or without the baby. And all he wanted to do was to bring
her back from the dead and shake her.

"I want you, " Charles said softly, "just like we've had for the last
year, like we could have been from the beginning, if I'd told your
father to go fly a kite with his crazy wild daughter, with all due
respect to your sister, and if I'd been brave enough to go after you in
the first place. I knew then I could have fallen in love with you, and
she was right, I was afraid of you, and of her. I was so damn afraid of
loving you that I ran right into her arms, because she was wild and
exciting and safe, and I knew there was no chance on earth I'd ever love
her."

"You were almost as crazy as we were." Olivia smiled at him as the baby
stirred in the crib behind her. "That's a really stupid reason to get
married."

"Then maybe we deserve each other." He smiled shyly, and then she tried
to explain something to him which made him smile more broadly.

"You know I never intended to .. . Victoria said .. ." He knew exactly
what she meant and she was blushing darkly as she said it.

"I don't believe a word of it, you had every intention of seducing me .

.. I know you did .. ." He argued with her, and took her in his arms as
he did so, wishing she would do it again, but he wasn't at all sure what
she'd do now. He had been incredibly cruel to her, and she had every
right not to forgive him. And then he thought of something else, and
asked her another question. "Did Geoff know, or suspect? He always knew
you so well, and could tell you apart when no one else could."

"I fooled him for a while, " she said. "I think he suspected a little
bit, but I made a point of being nasty to both of you from time to time,
so you wouldn't. But when I cut my hand in Croton last June, he saw the
freckle before I could stop him."

"And he's known all this time? " She nodded apologetically.

"Amazing." He reached for her hand then, and looked down at it.

The freckle was in her right palm, but tears filled her eyes as she
looked at it. It didn't matter anymore. She was gone, there would be no
more games or laughter or deceptions.

She turned away from him then and bowed her head in pain. "I miss her so
much, " she whispered.

"So do I, " he said softly. "I miss knowing that she's someone special
in your life, that she's there for you, that you're happy, " he said
sadly. "I miss seeing you smile .. . and loving you .. .

and being with you .. . I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said ...
I'm sorry I took it so badly at first." And then he cried just as she
did, "I'm sorry you lost her." She nodded and stood crying in his arms
for a long time as he held her, and then finally she looked at the man
who had almost been her husband.

"I loved you, Charles .. . I'm really sorry."

"And now? Could you still love me? " She smiled at him, it was a foolish
question. She would always ve him.

"Of course I could. I still do. You can't change that."

"Will you marry me then? " he asked her solemnly, and meant "Wouldn't
that be a little embarrassing for you, or a little odd the very least?

And certainly scandalous if anyone knew why you were doing it."

"I'm not in the least embarrassed. I think it's far more embarrassing to
be surrounded by children, none of them legal, or far too few at least.
I was thinking that the captain could marry us here, on the ship, before
we even get home." He smiled at her, and she smiled back at him.

She loved the idea of marrying him on the way home, and then staying
with him. And everything would at last be legal. He got down on one knee
then and held her hand in his and asked her to marry him and she
giggled. Well, do you accept? " he asked formally.