Miss Wayne and the Queens of DC (The Cartel Publications Presents) (3 page)

I guess now you’re wonderin’ how is it possible for me to have a thirteen-year old son and be a gay man. I didn’t always hate pussy. I fucked my wife and came inside of her just like the next man.

My wife and I, who I’m still married to, on paper anyway, are no longer together. When it was good it was good but after a while it just lost its flavor. She was my
first.
My first sexual experience in high school. My
first
girlfriend and the
first
person who taught me that there was nothin’ more I liked, than to be fucked in my ass.

Shit, Shannon was handy with her mother’s rubber dicky, which she found one day while lookin’ for money in her room. Shannon’s a bigger freak than me. And if her mother knew how much mileage that dildo had on it and how many times it had been in my ass, she probably would’ve performed an exorcism on it and burned at the stake. Yeah…back then things were simple. I was a bisexual man who loved fuckin’ both men and women. That is, until one day the look of her pussy made me jealous. I remember lookin’ at the way she moaned and saying to myself, ‘I wish someone could make me feel like this. I wish someone could make me feel safe and hold me in his arms.’ So I went out to find the real thing.

The day she discovered where my heart really lied, my son was born and I wasn’t by her side. So the next day she got out of her hospital bed, left our son at the hospital nursery and came lookin’ for me. It took a while but she found me, cruisin’ for trade at a public park. I was faced down on wet green grass, with the trade’s fingers in my mouth and his dick in my ass. Bareback…no condoms! The way I like it.

Instead of takin’ that as my out of the relationship, I felt guilty and asked her to be my wife. Only to realize a week afterwards that I couldn’t be married and faithful at the same time. Through it all she could never bring herself to say, ‘I want a divorce’, and I doubt she ever will.

While waitin’ on Adrian to pull up a website, someone knocks on the front door. It wasn’t a surprise because people come over this bitch uninvited all the time.

When I open the door, my friend Gary who prefers to be called Garisha is standing before me wearing a red summer dress and tennis shoes. After all this time, I still can’t get over how ugly she is! This queen is uglier than two Bernie Mac’s put together. Large pussy bumps ‘round out her face and all I can say is that it’s truly a sight to see. The worst part is, she has pushed so much silicone in her face, that she’s starting to look like a lion. It’s a mess.

“Bitch, I need to use your bathroom,” Garisha asked busting into the door. “I just met this trade on the way over here!”

Although irritating most of the time, I fucked with him because he was the only person I knew more gutter than me. We did shit together so cruddy that I’d have to kill somebody if they ever found out. Including fuckin’ this 16-year-old boy after he came home from football practice one day. He use to come ‘round Galveston all the time to smoke and drink our shit up. But one day he started flirtin’ and tellin’ me, Garisha and Big Boody Brandy that we couldn’t handle him…and how he would fuck the shit out of this and that.

As usual, we got drunk but this time decided to go to a hotel to finish the party. Big Boody Brandy had a date so she didn’t go with us, but that ain’t stop me and Garisha. The young boy was all game when we was suckin’ his ass and lettin’ him fuck us all night. But I guess he got mad when me and Garisha turned his young ass around and broke his back out. If you ask me I think he liked it but just like most ‘so called straight men’ who think about shit too much the next morning, he was afraid someone would find out and threatened to cry rape. When we found that shit out me and Garisha put on men’s clothes and waited for him after school. The moment we caught him alone we beat him to death and buried his body at Anacostia Park. That was six months ago and they haven’t found his body yet.

“Why you gotta use our bathroom, Garisha?” I frown. “I mean…what’s wrong with your place? Or the street?”

“I need to freshen up! Bitch, you know I live all the way off 58
^th
!”
“Well I’m busy right now so you can’t stay long.” I say closing the door. “Where ya’ll goin’ anyway?”
“Where you think? I’m goin’ somewhere to get some dick! But I gotta douch my bussy first!” he says referring to his asshole. “And I know you not actin’ all different! Wit’ all the mothafuckas I let in my house for you!”
“Bitch, I don’t need a history lesson Just hurry the fuck up!”
When I’m walk back to Adrian, Garisha runs to the bathroom and yells, “I need a washcloth!”
“Girrrrllll…what is you givin’ right now?!” I scream. “Ain’t nobody got no time for all that shit! Use a sock!”
“A sock?!” He yells walking back into the living room. “But I need it to clean my girl!”
“Bitch, either use a sock or use your hand. Your choice.”
Garisha sits on the sofa, removes his tennis shoe and then his sock. Mind you I said he’s wearing a summer dress. So you already know what he’s givin’.
“You gonna need me for somethin’ else one day! Rememba this shit!”
“Girl, bye!” I say fanning her off.
When she walks to the bathroom, I focus back on Adrian at the computer.
“Have you found his page yet?” I ask.
“Nope. I can’t find it. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“You sure you puttin’ in the right stuff?”
“Yes. I’m puttin’ in the right information.”
“Well why isn’t his picture comin’ up?” I ask lookin’ down at Adrian while he supposedly keys in MrHusbandMaterial’s screen name in the searchable window on the gay website, AllTheWayOpen.com.
He pauses and says, “I’m not sure. You think he blocked you? I say that only because you said he didn’t think you looked like the picture you posted on the site when he met you last week.”
As I look down at Adrian I grow angry. Fuck is he tryin’ to say? I posted my real picture on that site, even if it was taken in the ninth grade.
“Girl just try it again! Ain’t nobody tryin’ to hear all that shit you drippin!”
While I’m lookin’ at the computer screen, the TV which is playin’ the news is featuring The Drag Queen Slayer story again. Apparently some fool is runnin’ ‘round DC killin’ queens. When he’s done, he usually cuts off a part of their body and eats it.
“I’m done,” Garisha says walking into the living room. “Thanks for nothin’!”
I smell something so nasty lingering in the air that I can’t believe it came from his body.
“Please tell me you just took a shit too.” I say covering my nose.
“Girl, what are you talkin’ about?” He asks rummaging through his purse.
“All I know is I smell somethin’ and it don’t smell like soap! And if you ain’t just shit, somethin’ crawled up in your ass and died.”
Adrian turns his nose up and say, “Girl you do smell a little foul.”
“Shut up, bitch face! Always hatin’ on a grown ass woman! I’m out of here! I’ll call you later, girl.” He says walking out the door.
I shake my head, turn the air conditioning on to get rid of the smell and lock the front door. Garisha’s ass got somethin’ and she betta go get it checked out before her dick falls off!
Adrian refocuses on the news and says, “You think they gonna catch him?”
“Don’t worry about all that…did you find him yet?” I pause lookin’ down at him.
“Not yet. I’m gonna log in with my account though. Maybe it’ll work now.”
As he logs out of my account and into his, I think about some things. Like how I wished I would’ve stayed in school and got an education. I sucked a few dicks to get my homework done and even found ways to get my tests completed. With my smart ass, I went all the way up to the ninth grade without being able to read word
one
. If I could, I would be keyin’ in the info on the site myself. But as it stands, I can barely read my name on paper if I saw it. When a teacher found out I was illiterate in school and I couldn’t bribe him with sex, I dropped out in the 9
^th
grade. I guess you could say I haven’t looked back since.
“Give me his screen name again.” He says sneezing.
“Uggh! Cover your nose!!” I scream. “You know I hate snot and shit! Be careful!”
“I’m sorry.”
“His screen name is MrHusbandMaterial.” I frown.
The moment he searches for his name under his account, his picture comes up. I spent two months talkin’ to this nigga on the phone before we finally got together. And now he wants to play me? You know what, if he don’t want this bussy, fuck him! I’ll get a new nigga in the morning.
“You okay?” He asks.
“Why wouldn’t I be? I ain’t trippin’ off no trade.”
“You sure?”
“Look…don’t piss me off, Aid! You know how that can be. Anyway ain’t nothin’ wrong wit’ me so I ain’t hardly worryin’ about one nigga. His dick was trash anyway. All I got to do is make a phone call and I’m set.”
As I’m walking into the living room, I see Adrian staring at me.
“What now?!”
“Can I make a suggestion?”
“About what?” I ask with an attitude.
“You have beautiful dark skin, yet you wear make-up a little lighter than your complexion. And…sometimes you should wear a full wig until your hair grows out.”
“What’s wrong wit’ my hair?”
“Ummm…well…I don’t like when you braid your natural hair and wear it out without combing it or anything. It sticks up in the air and kinda makes you look…messy.”
“You really think you got it over me don’t you?”
“I’m not sayin’ that…I just really care about you.”
“Honey…you just do you, and I’ma do me!”
As I walk to the living room and sit down, I down the vodka on the table and pour me another glass. Since I’m not gettin’ no dick I know immediately what I need is to get high.
“And call, Big Boody Brandy over here to bring me some smoke!” I tell him.
Big Boody Brandy was another queen I ran with from time to time. Everybody used her to get their drugs because she made drop offs and ran shit around Galveston. Her name is Brandon Bar but like most queens, she changed it up a little to suit the lifestyle. Brandy knew a lot of shit about me that I wish she didn’t. For instance, she was the one who knew that me and Garisha was the last ones with that football player before we killed him. And to tell you the truth, I hate that she has that over me.
“I ain’t got no money, Ty.” Adrian tells me. “You have any to give her when she comes?”
“Ya’ll ain’t never got shit on the package but always wanna smoke.”
“I gave the rest of my money to Chris.”
“How come you stay givin’ Chris money but he don’t give you shit? I mean, if ya’ll are so good friends he should look out for you sometimes too.”
“He’s my best friend, Ty. And he does looks out for me sometimes. But my cell phone is in his name and I didn’t want him having to pay for it.”
“Yeah…well…whatever! You just better not be tellin’ him none of my business. I told you he know Shannon. So if I find out you been tellin’ him any of my business and I can’t see my son, I’ma be fucked up with you and you gonna know.”
Even though I didn’t see my son Avil a lot, I don’t want no problems in case I want to.
“I wouldn’t do that,” he says looking all stupid and shit. “Whatever goes on in here stays in here.”
“Yeah whateva. And just so you know when Big Boody Brandy brings me my shit, it’s all mine. Don’t ask for shit! Go ahead and call her…tell her I need a fifty bag of weed.”
After she makes the call I walk into my bedroom and call Garisha for a favor.
“You still with dude?” I whisper so Adrian can’t hear me.
“Just finished up. His ass couldn’t last two minutes. Why?”
“You want some smoke?”
“Bitch, you know I want some! I’m on my way!”
“Girl…HOLD! You all in a hurry and the train ain’t even got here yet. Is your brother home from jail yet?”
“Yeah…why?”
“Boody Brandy on her way over here to bring me a fifty bag. I want you to have your brother rob her ass.”
“Ain’t that’s your peoples?”
“You wanna play twenty questions or get high?”
“I’m callin’ him now.”
“Good! And hurry up!”
As I wait for my bag I realize I’m tired of bein’ broke. Some shit is gonna have to give! I’m gonna need a steady flow of cash if I’m gonna maintain a certain lifestyle.
Twenty minutes later while waiting on Garisha I hear a loud knock at the front door. Knowin’ my smoke is here puts me in a better mood already. I just hope they covered their tracks because Big Boody can be a mess. Things were all good until I open my door and see Garisha covered in blood.
“You alright girl?!” I ask as she drops to the floor.
“No, girl! I been stabbed!”

I think about her everyday even though I haven’t seen her in over two years.
It’s so hard to think about the current condition of our relationship when we use to be so close. It’s hard to think about anything pertaining to her at all. And although I know I should face her I hated her after the last time we spoke. And if you knew how close we were, you could never imagine how that could be.
Sigh.
Anyway, I just dropped Parade and Daffany off at the Embassy Suites hotel in DC so they could get some rest. Although the funeral was the day before yesterday, they were both still mentally drained.
Once in the black Honda Accord rental, I called Dayshawn back to find out what she had to tell me earlier that was so urgent.
“Girl, I can’t even say it on the phone. All I know is Big Boody Brandy stabbed Ugly Garisha and they sayin’ Tyrone mixed all the way in this mess! I’m scared, Miss Wayne!”
“For somebody who don’t wanna say nothin’ on the phone, you sure sayin' a lot.”
“Well it’s true.”
“Where it happen?” I ask.
“’Round here.”
“You were there?”
“Naw…I was pulling up when that shit happened. So I backed up and went the other way.”
“Sneaky Day…always weaseling out of shit.” He got that name because whenever some shit went down, he always managed to get away undetected.
“Just hurry, girl! I think shit ‘bout to get out of hand ‘round Galveston!”
When I hang up with her, I stop by the liquor store to grab me a bottle of Kettle One and some cranberry juice. Then I play Mariah Carey’s CD, “The Emancipation of Mimi” to relax my mind. The shit ain’t workin’. You don’t understand, Miss Tyrone is my girl, but sometimes she got a lot of shit with her. And if you’re on her wrong side, she can be your worst enemy. She changes how she feels about you with the blow of the wind.
I arrived at Day’s place thirty minutes later. The moment I walk inside I can’t believe the scene. I ain’t been here in over two years and everything inside the house is the exact same. They got the same old pathetic lookin’ black leather sofa pushed up against the wall. And a wooden coffee table sits in the middle of the floor and is covered with worn out gay men magazines. Who knows what kind of mess is dried up on ‘em.
When you go to Day’s you know to bring your own chair or you’ll be sittin’ on the floor. Like now, somebody brought a Redskin’s portable chair and a couple of grey metal ones too. The only other furniture in the living room is a computer station, which sits in the corner . A wobbly office chair sits in front of it.
Dayshawn’s place use to be real nice. But they’d been robbed so many times, that he stopped fixin’ shit up. You never knew what would happen at any given time ‘round here. These bitches always got somethin’ goin’ on! If somebody ain’t gettin’ stabbed, they’re gettin’ shot or killed. And that shit happens on the good days.
“What’s the blast?” I ask walking into the house. The usual suspects, Tyrone, Adrian and Marlo who preferred to be called Marlene, were all in the living room smoking weed.
Dayshawn locks the door behind me and the iron bat they call ‘The long arm of the law’, falls on the floor. He picks it back up and places it in the corner next to the door. It was supposed to defend them if someone tried to come in. Personally I never known a mothafucka to be scared of a bat when they got a gun…have you?
“Thanks for comin’, girl,” Dayshawn says kissing me on each of my cheeks. “Too much shit is goin’ on today.”
“Let me get you some ice and cranberry juice, Mother. For your drink.” Adrian says to me.
I hand him the bag and say, “Thanks, darling.” Then I sit on the sofa next to Tyrone. “Now, Tyrone, do tell! What the fuck happened? Why Garisha get stabbed last night? And why your name ringin’ bells?”
She readjusts in her seat and I already know she’s ‘bout to make some shit up.
“Girl…I don’t even know where to start.”
The moment she’s about to give me the T, someone knocks at the door. Adrian returns with my drink and I notice that the Vodka bottle doesn’t come back with him. Shit makes it in this house but it never goes out.
When Dayshawn opens the door Big Boody Brandy comes barging in running up to Tyrone. She’s carrying a black teacup Yorkie that is barking at the top of its lungs. Big Boody never went anywhere without that dog and I always wondered how she got shit done on the block with it. She even showered with that yip-yapper.
And then there’s Day! Please tell me who opens the door without lookin’ through the peephole first when you know you got beef? They live in the mothafuckin’ hood for gay sake!
On guard, Marlene and me immediately stand up and Adrian runs into the kitchen to grab a knife.
Big Boody Brandy fucked with a few of the hustler’s around the way and had a reputation for her violence. And although she’s mad now, I still had to give the girl props. She looked real cute in the tight fitted black dress she was wearing and her red Prada pumps. She also was one of the few queens who could sport a boy cut and still look pretty. And she has an ass so fat, you know it was manufactured.
“Bitch, you tried to set me up didn’t you?!” She yells in Tyrone’s face, the dog barking too.
“Brandy…what got you on fire, honey? ‘Cause I know you know betta than to be runnin’ up in Day’s place wit’ all this drama.” I ask.
“Miss Wayne, this bitch tried to have me robbed! And I know she guilty ‘cause she never answers the phone when I call!”
“You’re on ten and I’ma need you at a five. We can hear you fine without all the yellin’.”
She lowers her voice a little because everybody in this bitch know they don’t want me rockin’ out in this mothafucka. What fucked me up was that the dog stopped barking too.
She takes a deep breath and say, “I been callin’ here to see if she had a part in Garisha’s ugly ass robbin’ me and every time I call, she’s supposedly never home!”
“I’m tryin’ to figure out why you think Tyrone is involved when ya’ll cool?” Dayshawn asks.
“This bitch know what the fuck happened,” she says placing her finger in Tyrone’s face. “Open that fucked up grill and speak the truth bitch!”
“Brandy, I don’t mean you no harm…but if you don’t sit the fuck down I’ma get all up in this business right here! And then you won’t need to worry about Tyrone because your problem will be wit’ me. And I know you don’t want that.”
Big Boody Brandy takes a look at me and everybody else. Then she plops down in the Redskin chair, wiggles her pump and lights a cigarette. The dogs curls up in her lap and I think it goes to sleep. What the fuck?
When smoke swirls around in the air she says, “Adrian calls me yesterday for a fifty bag of smoke. When I got out of my car to bring it up the steps, Garisha’s brother, Detroit pops up behind me with a fake ass gun and says, ‘You know what time it is.’”
“When I look at his arm, I see his name tattoed on it and know it’s him. His dumbness didn’t even have enough sense to put on a long sleeve shirt. Anyway, I ask him has he lost his mind tryin’ to rob me? He tried to get all rough and jam that fake gun into my lower back even harder. He scared my baby Maxie right here so much that she shitted in my hand,” she continues petting her dog. “I was so mad I didn’t care if he shot me or not so I turned around and pulled out my nine. I carry my shit everywhere I go on account of that Drag Queen Slayer running around DC and shit. Any who, that nigga Detroit took off runnin’ and my feet was already hurtin' in my shoes so I couldn’t catch his ass! He betta be glad too because although his gun was empty, mine was not.”
“That still don’t mean Tyrone was involved.” Dayshawn says.
“I’m not finished. I see Garisha’s monkey lookin’ ass in that beat up white Chrysler Plymouth she be drivin’ a block over from ya’ll house. Do you know that bitch tried to drive off when she saw me runnin’ toward her? But the Gods were with me and her car wouldn’t start up! So I stuffed Maxie in my shirt, put my nine back in my pocket, pulled that fish out of the car and beat her for all she was worth. But instead of fighting queen to queen, she bit my arm! So I stabs her back in hers. The whole time she screamin’ Tyrone had everything to do with it,” she continues pointing her cigarette in Tyrone’s direction. “So I brought Garisha to your doorstep and left the bitch right there. Now I’m here to find out if you crossed me or not, Tyrone.”
“Brandy, that bitch lyin’! I wouldn’t do no shit like that to you. You my sister!”
When the dog starts yapping like crazy Big Boody says, “Easy, Maxie. Be easy.” Then he says, “Bitch, everybody ‘round the way know you shiesty! I heard about you runnin’ ‘round DC raping niggas and shit! And I also know about Anacostia park bitch!” she continues. “I smelled your shit a long time ago! I just ain’t think you would be stupid enough to do no cruddy shit to me.” She says standing up her dog yapping again. “But I guess you just that fuckin’ dumb.”
Did she say raping niggas?
I know I’ve been gone from DC for a minute but I ain’t hear none of that shit before.
When she gets up I say, “You gotta go, Brandy. Sounds to me like Garisha is the one you got beef wit’, not Tyrone.”
When she doesn’t walk out, Dayshawn, Marlene and even Adrian walk up to her. And I say, “The door, Brandy.”
Brandy struts to the door and says, “You betta not let me catch you on the street, Tyrone.” Then she looks at us and says, “Ya’ll crazy for trustin’ this sneaky bitch. If she stabbed me in the back, she’ll do it to ya’ll too. But it’s cool, Tyrone. You gonna see me again.”
When she leaves, five minutes later, gunshots fire into the front windows of the house. Glass shatters everywhere and we hit the floor. Did she really just shoot at this house with that dog in her hands? That bitch is crazy!
When I raise my head, my heart thumps out of my chest when I see the front of Adrian’s shirt is red. “Oh my God! He’s been hit!”