Mist Warrior (28 page)

He sank back to his knee
,
but continued to glare at her.
“
Ye spoke yer reasons afore,
”
he growled.
“
Ye dinna want me to suffer the pain of my past. But that is nothing compared to the pain of seeing ye another man's wife.
”

The tears clouding her vision broke free, dripping down her cheeks. Until he dealt with his past
,
Branan
could not love her, he only did not want Richard to have her. If
Branan
had said the words...if he told her he loved her,
Catriona’s
resolve would probably crumble and she would break the betrothal.

Branan's fury vanished as quickly as it came.
“
Nay,
”
he said, his voice strangled.
“
Doona cry, lass, please.
”
Abruptly
,
he stoo Sonde="d and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

She only wanted to fold herself against him and sob like a child. But
Catriona had to make Branan
understand and turn her thoughts away from the foolish, painful notion of love.
“
Branan,
”
she said, trying to control her tears, they slowed
,
but continued to leak down her face.
“
There is more you need to know.
”

“
Then tell me, lass, else I go mad.
”

She pulled away enough to cup his face in her hands.
“
I've thought long and hard about this...trying to answer the question why...why did my father promise me to Richard and why do I feel that I must do this for you?
”

“
Catriona, I would give anything for ye, even this vengeance and this destiny of mine.
”

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears continuing to slide down her cheeks. Branan gently wiped them away.

“
I know,
”
she whispered.
“
I know what you would give and I cannot ask that price.
”

“
Ye are no askin', I am offering.
”

“
Listen, please. There are answers you must find within yourself and in order to do so you must travel the path put before you. I have learned that now. Don't you see why my father did this? It is not only because of his love for you
,
but his
regard
for your sire.
”

“
My sire?
”

Catriona grabbed a deep breath
,
trying to control her emotions so she could speak sensibly.
“
My father blamed himself for your father's death.

Branan's eyes went wide with horror.
“
What?
”

“
'Tis something I learned when I was little, just after you came to stay with us. You know my father was never given to drink
,
but on rare occasions
,
Papa
tried to drown his pain. What no one knew, except for my mother, is the agony he would vent during those times. He would sob like a child
,
Branan. I overheard them one night.
”

“
What did ye learn?
”

“
You know my father was lamed in the battle that claimed your father's life.
”

“
Aye.
”

“
My father swore an oath to guard Raulf's back.
”

Branan blinked at her.

“
I heard the sorrow and agony in his voice. My father protected yours without fail through most of the battle.
A
knight on horseback
attacked Father
. He did what any man on the ground would do
when
facing a mounted opponent–he killed the horse. But the animal fell awkwardly, its hooves flailed and destroyed my father's knee. He fell and saw Raulf move away from him. Raulf was prone to the same battle rages you are. He did not realize my father no longer stood with him.
”
Catriona
paused, fighting to gain control of the horror she felt.
“
Branan
,
you must know the anguish my father suffered. I have never heard anything like it before as he related the tale to my mother. He cried out to Raulf, trying to tell him he no longer covered his back...trying to warn
Raulf
to withdraw and gather his men. But your father was lost to his battle rage. Raulf never heard him. My father
—
”
H
er voice broke and she tried to steady it.
“
My father, his knee shattered, rose and went after Raulf.
”

“
He did what?
”
Branan whispered, his voice hoarse.

“
He used his sword like a cane and went after him. He said that he tried...he tried so hard. Raulf was a brother to him and he watched him die because he could not reach him afore Strickland. My mother tried to soothe Papa, to tell him it wasn't his fault. But my father refused her council. He spoke of how Strickland cut your father down.
”

“
How?
”
Branan asked, his voice strangled.
“
How did he die?
”

“
Has no one told you?
”

“
Nay. Duguald was not there for the battle. He dinna hear of it until after my father died and my mother forced into marriage to Strickland. I only know what my mother told me and that was Strickland murdered him. But if he died in battle
,
it cannot be murder. I doona understand it to this day.
”

Catriona's tears renewed and she cursed herself for her lack of control. She knew her tears only made things worse for Branan.

“
Your father did not fight against Strickland
,
but against a large group of knights errant turned brigands. They had been poaching in the royal forest and plaguing the king's road. Your father
,
as Warden
,
had to move against them. Branan, he wasn't facing Strickland across the battlefield, Strickland was one of his allies.
”

Branan's face drained of color.

“
Raulf fended of Sulfdth="48" af two blades in front of him. Strickland approached from behind and drove his blade through Raulf's back without warning.
”
Catriona
stared up at him.
“
My father
,
on his shattered knee
,
fought to return to his place at your sire's back. As my father lunged to put himself betwixt Raulf and Strickland's blade, your father died, impaled from behind, never seeing or knowing who killed him.
”

Branan froze.
Catriona
blinked up at him, expecting a much more powerful response
,
but he only stared at her.

Fear cut through her. This was not right.
Catriona
touched
Branan’s
face, his skin felt icy cold under her fingers. Suddenly
,
he released her and walked away, vanishing into a thicker part of the forest.

“
Branan!
”
she cried. Her feet started moving after him.

“
Nay,
”
she heard his voice growl.
“
Leave me be.
”

“
Branan, please, I don't want to leave you alone. I don't want to be alone.
”

“
W
e must travel the path afore us.
”
H
is voice echoed through the night.

Catriona
stopped, shaking to the core of her being. Her warrior had returned to the mist.

****

Branan walked only a short distance, listening for Catriona's footsteps behind him. Strange, he almost wanted her to follow him
,
but
an>="+0" face="Garamond">when
he didn't hear her, he stopped and sank to
his knees
, his hands covering his face.

His body quivered with the power of his heartbreak. For some reason
,
a vibrant picture of th
e battle bloomed in his mind. Branan
clearly saw his father fighting, driving back his enemies. He saw the sword tip explode through his chest, blood showering from the wound
and streaming from his mouth. Branan
witnessed his father's shock and confusion, trying to understand what had happened at the same time realizing he was dead. He sensed his father's sorrow, that he would leave behind the woman he loved, that he would never see his bairn.

Branan clenched his teeth, raising his face to the heavens. He felt a hot tear slide down his cheek.
The demon within him raged. He forced the image from his mind before it could shred his sanity. But that only brought to mind a new agony.

Bloody hell! What possessed him to think he could marry Catriona? He knew he could not marry now. But the question fell out of his mouth,
and
all of his reasons abandoned him. Good God
,
was he losing his sanity completely? How could he think Catriona would give up anything to live as his wife in Scotland? How could she have any respect for a man who allowed his father's murderer to go unpunished?

Branan
was a man who had fought against the shackles of marriage so hard in the past,
that
he had angered other lairds allied with his clan–now he was nearly tripping over himself to marry Catriona so she would not pay so terrible a price.

Catriona was right
.
Branan
had to travel this path, he had to find the answers to the rage burning within him
,
but he could not do it at the price of her future. She would not break the betrothal becaus
e she thought this her duty. Catriona
did it out of respect to him and to her own sire. Branan wished he had known how John felt. John had not been to blame–Strickland was.