Misty Blue (7 page)

“Save you? Save you from what, Mia?” Damien asked gently. Did someone…”

“I don’t know. I just knew that I needed him to save me. Still, they took me back to the home. But within a couple of days I heard Keefe’s voice screaming for me. I was hiding in a closet, had been for a very long time. At first I thought someone was playing a joke. Then I ran out. He was with Jerry. Keefe told me not to worry, that he’d come to get me and he’d never let anyone hurt me again.”

“Jerry became your foster father?”

“Sort of. He pretended. We could call him if we needed him, if social workers were coming, things like that. He kept some clothes at our apartment.”

“He just left two kids alone?”

“Damien, he helped us. No one else would.”

“Why didn’t he let you live with him?”

“He had a girlfriend who didn’t want us there. But it didn’t matter. We didn’t want to be there. Keefe made a deal with Jerry that he would take care of me. They both warned me not to say anything to kids at school or to any relatives.”

“You didn’t?”

“Only once. I almost told one of my friends. Luckily Keefe was around. He looked at me, and I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that we lived alone. I think my almost slipping up worried Keefe. He called Jerry and asked him to come over.

“Jerry warned me that if I told, he would go to jail and I would go back into foster care and I would never see my brother again, ever. After that, I stopped having friends. I couldn’t take a chance of forgetting, of telling anyone.”

“Your brother didn’t want you having friends?”

“He didn’t mind. He just told me I had to be careful. It was my own decision. Besides, Keefe didn’t have friends anymore. I felt bad for him. He stopped going anywhere with them. He took me everywhere with him.”

“What about your relatives?”

“They hardly ever came over. They’d invite me to my cousins’ birthday parties but Keefe got mad because they didn’t invite me to more things, like the pajama parties my cousins had, so he told me I wasn’t going anymore. Anytime they had a party, Keefe would take me some place fun so I wouldn’t miss it.

“Did it work?”

“No. But I pretended. My brother wanted me to be happy. I knew that so I pretended that I was.”

“I can’t believe no one ever came to check up on you.”

“Believe it. No one cared. After a couple of visits the social worker assigned to us mostly called and asked if we were doing okay. If some miracle happened and a relative stopped by, Keefe would call Jerry and he would either come by or call back and it seemed like he was taking care of us.”

“I can see why Keefe acts like he thinks he’s your father and why you love him so much. Sounds like he gave up his whole childhood for you.”

“He did and that’s why I can’t ask him to do something that could make him uncomfortable.”

“Mia, I still think that you’re wrong.”

Mia closed her eyes for a second, opened them and blinked several times. She’d just told Damien of the things in her life that had caused her the most pain and she’d done it in a matter- of-fact manner, as though none of it mattered. That was the farthest thing from the truth.

“Don’t worry,” Mia assured Damien. “Jerry is a good guy. And if it’s not Keefe, he’s my second choice. Like I said, he did a lot for us. He took a big risk giving us an apartment, putting all of the utilities in his own name. He helped Keefe get a car, took him for his license, and even put Keefe’s car under his insurance.”

Damien wasn’t buying it. He was staring at her with a funny expression on his face. Mia sighed. She shouldn’t have to be trying to sell Jerry to Damien. But somehow she felt that was exactly what she was doing. When she could take his staring no longer, she rolled her eyes and asked, “What?”

“I still don’t get that an adult would just leave two kids to fend for themselves. He expected a lot of Keefe. I’ll have to give your brother his props.”

Mia smiled. “I’ll tell him that.”

“Don’t you dare.” He looked over Mia’s head, then grinned. “I’m not trying to take anything away from Jerry but I know that people get money from the state to take in foster kids. It looks to me like the guy got money for the two of you without having to actually take care of you. I don’t think that’s right.”

“Is that what’s bothering you? When Keefe graduated from high school, Jerry gave him all the money he’d taken out over the years for the rent on the apartment and he taught him about investing.”

“Okay, so he’s not a bad guy. I always thought I had the worst family life imaginable.” He paused as he remembered, then quickly brought his attention back to Mia. “I guess I’m thankful that both of my parents stuck around. What about your mother?”

“She actually came here a month ago.”

Mia barely looked up as she answered Damien’s question. She didn’t want to see his eyes for she knew what would be there. Pity. She didn’t want Damien’s pity, only his love.

She anticipated what was coming next. Any sane person would have a hard time believing that a mother would just walk out and abandon her two kids. After all these years, she still couldn’t believe it herself.

“Your mother never came back until recently?”

Damien had surprised her. He hadn’t asked how her mother could do such a horrible thing. She could kiss him for not asking, for providing her a way to give an answer that was factual. She didn’t want to deal with the emotional side of their mother leaving them, not now.

“She started popping up right after Keefe graduated,” Mia explained. “She’d found out where we were. When she saw how well we were doing she’d come by needing money every few months. I wanted her to move in with us. Keefe didn’t. He hated her.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. I loved her, she was my mother.”

“Did she ever say why she took off?”

“Yeah, she said the situation was too hard on her, that she was only one person and she couldn’t take care of two kids. She said it was hard for her to have a life, that men left her because of us. She said she was only trying to be happy and that if we weren’t so selfish we’d see that and want that for her.”

Damien’s glance slid over her and in spite of the pain, she felt the warmth of his love. Besides Keefe and her therapist, Mia had never told anyone the things her mother had said to her.

“Baby girl, I wish I had been there for you.” Damien hugged her to his heart. “I guess you can be grateful that your mother never told anyone the truth, that your brother was taking care of you alone.”

Mia smiled sadly. “She threatened. She told me once when Keefe got angry and wouldn’t give her money that she could make one phone call and I’d be back in foster care. By that time they couldn’t do anything to Keefe. But there was no way I wanted to go back, so I badgered him to give her what she wanted. I always did. It became a routine even after I’d graduated from high school and knew there was nothing she could do. I still got money from him to give to her.”

“She never apologized for abandoning you and your brother?”

Mia cringed. Even now she hated to use that word. She didn’t like people knowing or saying that her mother had abandoned them.”

“No, she never believed she had anything to apologize for.”

“I guess I’ll have to cut Keefe some slack. He did a good job of taking over after your mom left. I’ll give him that.”

Mia smiled at Damien. “Actually he’s taken care of me my entire life. From the age of three, I can remember Keefe combing my hair, washing my clothes, getting my breakfast, making me say my prayers and letting me play with the big kids.”

Her eyes suddenly felt gritty, burning with the torrent of tears just waiting to be released. She didn’t want to cry but all this talking about Keefe was enough to make her resolve crumble. He was her rock, the one person she’d counted on her entire life. The thought that he would abandon her as their mother had done was more than Mia could bear. She felt she was losing something precious and she wanted very much to hold on to it.

“I don’t know what would have happened to me had it not been for Keefe.”

“What about your father? Didn’t he ever try and help?” Damien asked, disbelief coloring his voice.

“We have no idea who he is. Our mother won’t say. Once one of our aunts told us that when Mom was a teenager she took off and disappeared for several years and no one heard a word from her. When she returned she had us in tow. She never told anyone where she’d been or anything about our father. And it didn’t matter how many times we asked. Keefe said our father knew we existed and if he really wanted to, he could find us. So he told me to just forget about him. It was bad enough worrying about one absent parent. Neither of us had the energy or desire to worry about two of them.

“You never wondered about him?”

“Sometimes, but Keefe was always there. He was my father all the time and my mother most of the time,” she added, then closed her eyes and looked away.

“Come here, baby girl.” Damien’s arms circled Mia and he crooned to her. “Looks like parents can really mess a kid up. We’re going to have to make sure we don’t do that to our kids. I promise you, Mia, I’m going to be a good husband and a good father.”

“I know that.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I never had a doubt that you would. So do you want to tell me about your parents?”

“Next time, baby, but just so you know, a good chunk of my life has been spent trying to figure those two out.” He laughed, “Maybe that’s the reason I fell in love with you. We both had hellish childhoods and lived through it.”

Keefe couldn’t keep still. He paced the rooms of his apartment glaring at Ashleigh, though he wasn’t angry at her. “Can you believe that?” he asked for perhaps the hundredth time. “I helped her get back with Damien and now she’s shoving me out of her life. I don’t believe it.”

“Tell her,” Ashleigh said.

To this he only glared more. “She should know this already. Jerry hasn’t earned the right to be thought of as her father. You don’t just give that job to anyone. That’s an honor and Jerry didn’t earn it. I did.”

Keefe sat down, finally out of steam. “What’s happening?” he asked Ashleigh, knowing she wouldn’t be able to answer.

“I know you want to blame Damien but I think you’re off base. He wouldn’t care. He’s grateful to you. I know he is.”

“Then I don’t know what to do. There is no way in hell I’m allowing Jerry to walk Mia down the aisle.”

“I thought you liked him.”

“I do and if I were dead, I wouldn’t mind Mia asking him. But I’m not dead. I’m very much alive. And if you think I’m letting him give my sister away, you’re as crazy as she is.” Keefe blinked, and blinked again, wincing at his words. He’d not meant to call Mia crazy. But still he had no intention of having Jerry step in after he’d done all the work.

“What are you going to do? Call him up and tell him not to come? What if he tells her no?”

“I’ll do as I’ve always done.
I’ll
save her
,” he muttered so softly that he knew Ashleigh couldn’t hear him. “I’ll do it myself.”

“Why do you and your sister go through so many obstacles to avoid talking? You’re always second guessing each other and you’re always wrong. Why don’t you just tell her you want to walk her down the aisle? She worships you, Keefe. I’m sure she would say yes.”

“I shouldn’t have to ask her. It should be a done deal. It was a done deal.”

“You’re still trying to blame Damien. I agree that something is going on with your sister, but I don’t really know her that well. I did notice that she wouldn’t look at you when she said she wanted Jerry to walk her down the aisle.”

“I wouldn’t know if she looked at me or not,” Keefe growled.

“I know. You didn’t look at her either. I swear, I don’t get the two of you.”

Keefe couldn’t prevent the scowl. Ashleigh didn’t understand that he didn’t want Mia doing him a favor by saying yes. He wanted her to want him, to need him as she always had.

“Why do you treat her as if she’s so delicate? She’s probably much stronger than you think.”

Keefe stared for a few seconds in Ashleigh’s general direction. “Mia is strong. I know just how strong she is, but I also know that inside she’s still a little girl. I know she has demons, Ashleigh. And I haven’t been able to help her get rid of them.”

“I know that your mother abandoned you and that you raised her. But that’s in the past, isn’t it? If there’s something more going on, why don’t you tell me? Maybe I’ll be able to help.”

“I don’t like talking about it.”

“Not even to me?”

He smiled wanly. He didn’t tell many people about his experiences or Mia’s in foster care. He’d always wondered about the things that had happened to his sister when he’d not been there to protect her and he felt guilty as hell for whatever might have occurred.

“You know most of it already,” Keefe offered as he attempted to smile at Ashleigh, not quite pulling it off.

“I want to know it all,” Ashleigh countered. “I love you, Keefe, trust me to understand.”

He sat beside her, sighing, and took her in his arms. He loved her; it was time to share his life with her.