Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set (175 page)

She smiled at him, hoping that her eyes communicated what he had done to her.  It wasn’t just the pleasure that he had given her.  It had been something more.  By doing what he had done, Ricky had made Molli feel more special and worthy than she had in a very long time.  “Can I have a cigarette?”

“Of course.  I’ll be right back.”

He went to the bathroom.  She could hear him gargling and then the whir of his electric tooth brush.  He came back and lit a cigarette of his own.  “I don’t want you to feel offended by that.  It’s just that some women don’t like the taste even when it’s their own and on the lips of a man.  I would very much like to make love to you.  I can’t stand not having your mouth on mine when we make love.”

“You’re so considerate.”  She suddenly wanted to cry and fought tears.  Was now the time to tell him her news she thought? 

He looked over at her as he put out his cigarette.  “Molli, is everything okay?”

“There’s something I need to tell you Ricky.  I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

“What is it darling?”

She put out her cigarette and he took her into his arms, running his hand over her hair.  She pulled back and took a deep breath, then let it out.  “Mellenda told me that she had an abortion.  Not recently, just a couple months after you two got together.  I know that it was yours because Mellenda’s not like that.  I know that she didn’t tell you.”

Ricky immediately took another cigarette out of the pack and lit it.  She knew that the cigarettes he smoked were foreign and cost ten dollars a pack or more, and he usually didn’t smoke much, so she was surprised to see him light another one so soon.

“I’m sorry Ricky.  Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.  It’s not my business.  I don’t know why Mellenda told me in the first place.  I know she doesn’t like me and never has.  I don’t think she thinks that I’m good enough to go to Crestview.”

“Mellenda is a fool if she sees you as anything other than the smart, beautiful, special girl that you are.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up Ricky.  I didn’t mean for it to make you mad.  I thought you should know.  I didn’t say it because I thought that it would make you break up with Mellenda.  I know that if you decide to break it off with her, you’ll do it when you’re ready.”

“Molli, please don’t think badly of yourself for telling me.  Please don’t think badly of yourself at all.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough.  You’re more than good enough.  Will you excuse me for a moment?  I need to use the phone.”

She reached out and put her hand on his arm.  “Ricky please.  Do you have to call her right now?  I’m not trying to be selfish, but it’s already over with and we have so little time together.”

“You’re never selfish Molli.  You are the most giving lover, the most giving person that I know.  I suppose you’re right.  I can wait to call Mellenda.  I’m sure she’s busy with her family anyway.”

“Are you still going home tomorrow?”

“Yes.  I don’t want to go since things are so tense with my sister-in-law being so close to her due date and my brother and her talking about splitting up, but I really don’t have a valid excuse.  Are you sure you’re going to be okay at home by yourself?  Have they fixed your car?”

“No.  It’s still sitting in that garage.  I think my dad told them he wasn’t going to pay to fix it.  It’s not like I did something to it on purpose.  My mom told him not to buy it, but it was so much cheaper than anything else we looked at.  You’d think that my parents didn’t have money with the way they spend it.  As long as you can still drop me off at home, I’ll be fine yes.”

“I simply can’t believe that your parents are gone at Thanksgiving and didn’t offer to take you with them.”

“It’s okay.  I’m used to it.”  She wondered if she should tell Ricky her other news, but thought that it could wait until after they’d had sex.  She really wanted to have sex she thought.

“It’s not okay.  I can tell that it hurts you, how terrible it makes you feel.”

“You make me feel good Ricky.  You’ve always made me feel good.  And I don’t just mean the sex, though that’s always been more than good.”

He smiled.  “I’m glad that you’re here with me tonight.  I’ll make us dinner after we’ve made love and taken a long shower together okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed her and they were soon making love.  It felt so wonderful to be with Ricky, to watch the ways his eyes changed when he made love to her, that Molli found herself crying after he had finished.

Ricky took her into his arms.  “Oh Molli.  I’m so sorry.  Did I hurt you?”

“No Ricky.  Please don’t think that.  I don’t think you could ever hurt me when we make love.  It’s so special.  I feel so terrible.”

Ricky handed her a tissue from the box on his nightstand.  “Why do you feel terrible darling?”

“I’m pregnant and I don’t know who the father is.  I’m pretty sure that it’s you and I want so badly for it to be, but it could be Jude’s or even Eduardo’s.”

Ricky started to reach for a cigarette, and then thought better of it.  “I’ll stand by you Molli.  I will be with you every step of the way if you want me to be.”

“Of course I want you to be with me.”  She put her arms around him, wishing that she never had to let go.

He kissed her cheek and brushed her curls out of her face.  “I’ll give the baby my last name if you’d like.  I have to end it with Mellenda.  It shouldn’t be so hard now, knowing that she’s taken the life of our child.”

“I’d be very proud to give the baby your last name Ricky.  Thank you.” 

She thought that she’d very much like to take his last name herself, but didn’t want to push her luck by mentioning it.  Sometimes, she could fool herself into thinking that she had Ricky’s heart, but sometimes she thought that if that were true, he would have broken up with Mellenda after the first time they’d made love.

“No need to thank me.  It’s the right thing to do.  Besides, as you said, there’s a good chance the child is mine.  It means a lot to me that you told me.”

“You’re the first person that I told.  Well, I told Seneca that I might be pregnant since I missed my period, but I haven’t told her that I am.”

“Seneca is such a good friend to you.  I’m glad that you have someone you can confide in.”

“Me too.  I’m going to miss her so much after I graduate.”

“You should still be close enough to visit her.  Have you looked into attending the community college in Brown?  It’s still a good school.  They have very good tutoring services there if you need help.”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know if my grades and test scores are good enough to get in there.  And I don’t know what I want to do with my life Ricky.  How did you know what you wanted to do?”

Ricky chuckled.  “My father told me what I was going to do.  I was lucky enough that I didn’t mind.  I always dreamed of being a poet though.”

“So do it.  You’d be wonderful at it.  You say the most beautiful things.”

He smiled.  “Thank you.  You’re a wonderful inspiration Molli.  Shall we shower?  Then I’ll make whatever you’d like for dinner.”

“Okay.”

She took his hand and he led her to the bathroom.  They took a long, leisurely shower together, then went back to the bedroom and dressed.  Molli wondered if she was imagining things or if her pajama bottoms were already starting to get tight.  She let out the drawstring a little bit and caught Ricky smiling at her.

He crossed the room and kissed her.  “You’ll make such a beautiful mother.”

“I’m scared Ricky.  I know my parents love me, but they haven’t been the best parents in the world.  How am I supposed to know how to be a mother?”

“Most of it comes naturally Molli.  It might not seem like it, but once you’ve held your child in your arms, your whole world changes.  It’s kind of like starting a new life, because you look at the world with a different pair of eyes.  Yes, having a child means that you have to make some lifestyle changes, but it’s worth it.  I can’t believe I let you smoke that cigarette.  I need to quit smoking myself.”

“I’m sorry.  It felt so good, what you did to me.  And I don’t just mean the physical sensation, though that felt so good that I can’t describe it.  You made me feel special, wanted and needed.”

“You are very special Molli.  I’d hoped that I always make you feel that way, but if what I did tonight makes you feel that way, we can certainly practice it more often.”  He smiled at her.

“Yes.  Thank you.  Do you really think I’ll be a good mother Ricky?”

“Of course.  I think you’ll be a wonderful mother.  I only hope that I’ll make a good father.”

“Oh, you will.  You’re so kind and smart and patient.  I think you’ll be a great dad.”  She smiled at him, feeling tears prick her eyes again.  Could this be it she thought?  Could she finally have found the happiness that she’d needed in her life for so long?

He kissed her.  “Thank you.  I can see you’re trying not to cry.  If you don’t stop you’ll get me started and we’ll be a couple of sentimental fools crying on the night before Thanksgiving.”

“I don’t want to see you cry.  I think it’s sexy that you’re not embarrassed to cry, but I don’t want you to cry.  I’m not sad.  I’m happy.  I didn’t think I’d ever meet someone like you.”

“And I never thought I’d be given the gift of having someone like you in my life.  Now, let’s eat before we really do start crying.”

Molli laughed.  “Okay.”

She followed him to the kitchen, where they decided to make salad and a pizza.  She helped him put the toppings on the premade crust.  They sat together in front of the TV while it cooked, cuddling and drinking cocoa with ice cream on top.

It was a nice, comfortable evening and Molli was sorry to see it end.  But she knew that Ricky had to drive to his parents’ house after he dropped her off at her house in the morning.  So she followed him into the bedroom a little after ten pm, curling up in bed against his chest with his chin resting on the top of her head, which had quickly become her favorite way to fall asleep.

Chapter 8

Molli awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee and food from the direction of the kitchen.  She sat up in bed and thought that she was going to be okay for a minute, but then the nausea hit her and she made her way to Ricky’s bathroom to vomit.

She felt Ricky’s hand pull her hair back from her neck.  “Are you okay Molli?”

“Yes, just morning sickness.  I guess I had better get used to it.”

“Sometimes dry crackers can help.  My sister-in-law swore by them when she had morning sickness.  Would you like some juice?  I’d offer you coffee but I don’t know if you want the caffeine.  I suppose there’s probably caffeine in most cocoa too, though.  I’ll try to look for some without it.”

She leaned over and flushed the toilet.  He rubbed her back.  She let herself enjoy the feeling for a minute.  “I wish we didn’t have to leave.”

“Me too.  Since your family isn’t home, I’d take you home with me.  But the atmosphere is already tense enough as it is with my brother and his wife fighting so much.  And my parents adore Mellenda.  I don’t think they’d appreciate me bringing you home when I haven’t broken up with her.”

Molli sighed.  “I like it much better when I can pretend that Jude and Eduardo and Mellenda don’t exist.” 

Ricky offered her his hand.  She took it and stood up.

“I know Molli.  We’ll get through this together.  I promise.”

“Thank you Ricky.  Your promise means a lot to me.  I would like some juice yes.”

“Good.  Would you like eggs and toast or cereal?”

“Cereal would be fine.  I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”

She followed him into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

“I’ve already eaten myself, but it’s no trouble.  I can make you French toast or pancakes if you’d prefer.”

“You’re so sweet.  French toast would be great.  With strawberries on top if you have them.”

“I do.  I love them myself.  They get expensive later in the year, but I don’t care.  Would you like to know what my trouble was this morning Molli?”

She gave him a look of concern.  “What troubled you Ricky?”

He smiled.  “It was a good trouble.  I didn’t want to get out of bed.  I wanted to lay there and watch you sleep.  You’re even more beautiful when you’re at peace with yourself.”

“I dreamed about you.  I had the baby.  He was so beautiful.  He looked like you, except he had my eyes.  You were there.  You were holding my hand and you were so happy.”

“I plan on being by your side when you give birth.  It’s such a beautiful experience.”

Molli made a face.  “It seems much more beautiful for the father than the mother.”

“Some men claim to feel sympathy pains for their wives during labor.”

“I think they’re making it up to make their wives feel better.”

“I don’t think so.  When people have a deep connection, they can sense things before they happen.  They’ll know when a certain someone is calling them before the phone rings, or a wife whose husband works the night shift will awaken minutes before his key turns in the door.  Love is a beautiful thing.”

“It can be.  I think you could make anything sound beautiful.”

“I’d like you to see more beauty in the world.  It starts with being able to see more beauty in yourself.  What do you see when you look in the mirror Molli?”

“I don’t know.  Just me I guess.”

“Just you?  There is no just you.  We’re all special.  Tell me what you really see Molli.  I want to know.”

“Um, well I see my hair and I don’t like it because it’s so full and curly.  Sometimes I wish I had straight hair.  I see my eyes and I like them.  I don’t like my lips because they’re too full.  I don’t like that I’m so much taller than a lot of girls in my class.  I wish I was short and small sometimes.”

“And if you were to stand nude in front of a mirror what would you see then?”

Molli laughed, feeling a little embarrassed.  “Um, I don’t like my boobs because they’re so small.  My stomach isn’t flat enough, though I guess I can’t really do much about that now that I’m pregnant.  I don’t like my butt because it’s kinda big.  I do like my tattoo.  My legs are okay.  I don’t like my belly button piercing, that’s why I don’t wear it much anymore.  I like the tattoo on my ankle, though it really hurt when Seneca gave it to me and it took forever.  I like my tongue piercing but I lost the only stud that I really liked.”

“Would you like to know what I see when I look you?”

She looked into his eyes.  She had to swallow before she could speak because she saw so much emotion in them.  “Yes.”

“I see a beautiful girl who is so self-conscious about who she is that it almost killed her.  I see a girl who thinks she is stupid and not good enough.  I want to take you into my arms and whisper sweet words into your ear until you believe in yourself again.  I want to love you so much that you learn to love yourself again.”  Ricky’s eyes glistened with tears.

Molli got up from the table and kissed him until they were both breathless.  “I thought we weren’t going to get sentimental and cry.”

“I want you to realize that you are so much more than you believe yourself to be.  Everyone is perfect to someone, and you are perfect to me.  And you’ll be perfect to our child too.”

“No more.  If I start crying, you’ll say something else that’s really sweet and I won’t be able to stop.”

“Tears can be cleansing but I’ll shut my mouth and make your breakfast.  I’ll be thinking beautiful thoughts of you in my head though.”

Molli laughed.  “I must have met the only guy on the planet who thinks pretty thoughts about girls before he thinks of dirty ones.”

Ricky laughed.  “Oh, I have plenty of those too.  I’d like to help you pick out another stud for your tongue and I very much like your tattoos, too.  Your ass is perfect and your breasts are spectacular.  Your legs are more than okay.  When I look at your lips, I can’t think of anything but kissing them for hours on end.”

“Yeah, I think you’d better cook me breakfast before I get started on all of the things I like about your body.”

Ricky smiled and then turned back towards the refrigerator.  He got out eggs, milk, and a bottle of orange juice.  He poured her a glass of juice and then sat it in front of her. 

“I’d love to hear about the things you like about my body when we have more time.”  He winked at her and then set about making her breakfast.

She thought it was the best French toast she had ever eaten, though neither her mother nor father had ever been much of a cook.  The moment got a little too intimate when she fed Ricky a bite and couldn’t stop herself from licking the syrup off of his lips.  They were close to making love on his kitchen table when he pulled back from her embrace and looked at his watch. 

“I’m sorry Molli.  We should get ready to go.  As much as I would love to make love to you again and again until you have to go back to school, I think my parents would disown me if I missed Thanksgiving dinner.”

Molli made a face.  “It must be nice to have parents that care about stuff like that.”

“It is.  By this time next year, we’ll have a little one and will be making holiday memories of our own.”

Molli smiled.  “I like the way you think Ricky.  I’ll go get dressed and get ready to go.” 

She couldn’t resist kissing him one more time before she headed to the bedroom.

She pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, socks, panties and a clean bra.  She was dressed and was standing in front of the mirror and trying to see what Ricky saw when he came into the bedroom several minutes later.

He stood behind her.  She looked into his eyes in the mirror, enjoying the way they looked together, the contrast between her lighter hair, eyes and skin, and his darker skin, hair and eyes. 

“If I could loan you my eyes and my heart and you could look upon yourself and see what I see when I look at you, I don’t think you’d ever feel self-conscious again Molli.” 

He rubbed his hands lightly over her arms and then kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m trying to see it, but it’s so hard sometimes.”

“It is hard to change the way you think of yourself.  You have to do it a step at a time.  One more positive thought a day, one less bit of negative self-talk in your head, and before you know it, it won’t be so hard to see you the way I see you.”

Molli laughed.  “You want me to end up with a big ego don’t you?”

“No, I just want you to have healthy self-esteem.  I want you to respect yourself and your body and not to feel as if you’re obligated to give it to a man when you don’t want to.”

“I’ve never given you my body when I didn’t want to Ricky.”

“I don’t like to think that I would have let you, no matter how much I wanted you.  But I believe there have been times in your life that you have given yourself to a man or a boy to regain some feeling of self-worth.  I don’t want you to find your self-worth within me.  I want you to find it within you.  I will do everything I can to help you every step of the way though.”

“Thank you.”  She turned and kissed him.  “I guess we’d better get going now huh?”

“Yes, I’m afraid you’re right.”

He picked up his overnight bag and hers and took them to the living room while he made one last check of the apartment, making sure that everything was turned off and locked.  A few minutes later, he helped her into her coat and then let her precede him out of the apartment.

He locked the door and they headed out to his car.  They didn’t talk much during the drive to her house.  She was afraid that she was going to cry and beg him to stay with her.  She already missed him and he wasn’t gone yet.  She felt like she lost a little bit more of him every time he left her, that no matter what, he’d never truly be hers.  She was deathly afraid that she was going to lose him.

When he pulled up in front of her house, she was almost glad to see that her parents weren’t home.  She wasn’t in the mood to deal with their trying too hard to sound interested conversations.  She also didn’t want them to hear her puking her guts out in the morning.

She unlocked the door while Ricky stood behind her with her bag.  He followed her into the house and took her into his arms.  “I’ll be thinking of you.  Will you think of me?”

“Of course I will Ricky.”

“I’ll try to bring you a plate if I can manage to get away, even if it’s at midnight.”

She smiled.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Goodbye Molli.  I’ll call you later too, if I can.”

“Why don’t you just text me?”

“It takes me forever to do it.  My parents will look at me strangely if I’m constantly messing with my cell phone.”

She pouted.  “Okay.  Goodbye Ricky.” 

She put her arms around him and got in one last kiss before she let him leave.

He smiled at her.  “Goodbye Molli.”

She spent most of the day playing around online with her laptop.  She ordered Chinese for dinner and fell asleep on the couch; sure that Ricky wouldn’t break his promise to her, though he hadn’t called her.

She awoke to a knock at her front door at two a.m.  She brightened and tried to tame her wild curls a bit with her fingers before she got up and answered the door.  The smile immediately left her face when she opened the door, though.  It wasn’t Ricky standing on her parents’ doorstep but Eduardo.

“What in the hell are you doing here?”

“I missed you baby.  I couldn’t let my favorite girl spend the holiday all alone.”

“I’m not your favorite girl anymore and you’re certainly not my favorite man.  Why don’t you just go away?”

“C’mon Mol, let me in.  I know your parents aren’t home.”

“You’re lucky that they’re not because they’d probably be calling the cops right about now.  You’re drunk aren’t you?”  She sighed and stepped back to let him into the house, shutting the door.

“Yeah, so what?”

“So, you drove here from Brentwood didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“You could have killed someone Eduardo.  You know better than to drive drunk.  I thought they already took your license away for that once.”

Eduardo shrugged and sat down on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table.  He started to light a cigarette.  She grabbed the lighter from his hand. 

“Don’t you dare light that in here.  My parents would kill me.”

“You’re such a bore lately Mol now that you’re playing around with your college boy.  He break up with his other girlfriend?  Nah, I bet he hasn’t.  You seem to like men that are taken.  You got yourself one that was finally all yours and then you turned around and went after another one that was already taken.”

Molli gave him a dirty look and shoved his feet off of the coffee table.  “Screw you Eduardo.  Isn’t Peggy still married?  And you sure as hell were last time I checked.”

“Peggy ain’t seen her old man in years, they just ain’t never filed for divorce.  And why should I let Crisha go?  She’s a fine piece of ass when she actually gives it up.”

“I can’t blame her for not wanting to have sex with you.  She’s probably afraid that you’ll give her AIDS or something since you’re sleeping with Peggy.”