Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set (191 page)

Mellenda turned away from him.  “What if I did?”

Ricky put his hand on her arm.  “Look at me Mellenda.”

Mellenda turned to him.  She could see so much disappointment and pain on his face that she started crying.  He put his arms around her, but they felt stiff.  She knew that he didn’t want to hold her, knew that he would probably never want to hold her in the same way again.

She cried until she had no more tears, then she pulled back.  Ricky offered her a box of tissues.  She wiped her face and blew her nose.  “I’m sorry Ricky.”

“This isn’t something that is going to be solved with an ‘I’m sorry’ Mellenda.  The decision to take our child’s life was something that should have been discussed with me.”

“It wasn’t like that Ricky.  I didn’t want to ruin our lives.  We had barely started going out.  It wasn’t like it was easy for me.  We are too damned young to have a baby.  You know it.”

“Even if we are young, you had no right to take the decision away from me.  There were other options Mellenda.  I will never look at you in the same way again.  I’m sorry.  I have to go.  If you want to shower, there are towels and toiletries in the bathroom down the hall.”

Ricky stood and quickly left the room.

Mellenda cried for what felt like hours after that.  Then she got up, got dressed and took a long shower.  She was sure that Ricky wanted to kick her out of his house. 

She didn’t sleep well that night.  She realized that she hadn’t bothered to call her parents and tell them that she was staying over.  She didn’t care.  Ricky was at the table drinking coffee when she went downstairs.  He looked up at her and gave her a smile that held no joy. 

“Good morning Mellenda.”

She gave him a bright smile. “Good morning Ricky.  What do you have planned today?”

“I was going to go to the mall and see if there were any good sales.”

She laughed, though it felt like it held no humor.  “Of course there are good sales.  I’ll go with you.”

Ricky nodded, but she could tell that he didn’t want her to join him, that he probably wished she’d go away.

The ride to the mall was silent.  He wouldn’t let her hold his hand.  She felt like he was on another planet as they walked together through the mall.  A silence between them had never felt so uncomfortable.

She did talk him into letting her stay with him until she had to go back to school though.  She had a feeling that it was more because he felt sorry for her than that he wanted her to be there, but she didn’t really care.  His family seemed oblivious to the tension between them and was as nice and welcoming as always.

She asked him to follow her back to her parents’ house when she knew it was time to go back to school so that he could give her a ride back to Brentwood.  He agreed, but refused to come in when she gave her mother the keys back.  It didn’t matter anyway since her parents were both passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of wine between them on the table.

The ride back to Brentwood was silent.  Ricky stopped on the road outside Crestview.  He tried to give her a quick kiss, but she pulled him in for a lengthier one.  She was tempted to try to talk him into sex, but she wasn’t sure if she could get away with it anymore and she was afraid that they would get caught.

She did lift his shirt and trail kisses down his chest until she arrived at his crotch though.  She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and freed him, taking him into her mouth.  His penis responded immediately.  He ran his hand over her hair, and then brought his other hand up under her shirt and stroked her breast. 

He stopped her several minutes later.  “It’s time to stop now.”

She gave him a pout.  “I wish I didn’t have to.”

He gave her a ghost of a smile.  “I wish you didn’t have to too.  But this is not what we need Mellenda.  We need to be honest about where our relationship is going.  We can’t continue to pretend that everything is fine anymore.”

“I still turn you on.  That’s obvious.”

“You’re undeniably beautiful and your body is a masterpiece of femininity.  We have had some wonderful times together and making love to you is certainly quite an experience, but we have to look at reality.  Our relationship has changed irrevocably.”

“Because I had a stupid abortion?  You’re throwing everything away because I had a goddamned abortion when the last thing in the world that we needed was a baby?”

“No.  It’s because you lied to me, you kept things from me that you had no right to.”

“Do you really believe that bullshit?  It’s my body.”

“It’s takes two to make a baby.  It’s always has.”

“It isn’t just because I didn’t tell you that I was pregnant.  It’s because you are screwing someone else.”

“I am not screwing someone else Mellenda.”

“You’re lying to me.  I can see it in your eyes.  Goodnight Ricky.”

Mellenda grabbed her bag from the backseat and left the car.  Tears pricked her eyes as she hurried through the woods.  She felt disgusted and ashamed that she had resorted to giving Ricky blow jobs on the side of the road to try to keep him.

She pasted a smile on her face and went back to her room.  Molli gave her a strange look and she almost thought that she caught her sniffing.  She gave her a dirty look and then gathered her things and headed to the shower.

She showered quickly and returned to her room.  She slept fitfully that night.

Chapter 4

December passed in an unhappy blur.  She came back into her room one morning and thought she caught the smell of vomit in the air.  She made a face at Molli and turned away, wondering if her brainless roommate had gotten herself knocked up.

It was soon time for winter vacation.  Mellenda wasn’t looking forward to it.  She and Ricky had been doing nothing but fighting.  If she’d thought she’d seen less of him than before earlier in the school year, it only worsened as time went on. 

She took the bus to her parents’ house.  Being there, she was bored stiff and so depressed she could hardly stand it.  On Christmas Eve, she called Ricky and begged him to come and pick her up.  He agreed, though she certainly didn’t think he was thrilled about the idea.

They went to the mall.  Mellenda talked him into seeing a movie.  She felt her mood perk up when he went to the bathroom because he left his coat behind and she found what looked to be an engagement ring in the pocket.  But when he returned, the tagline of the movie she wanted to see seemed to bother him.  It was about a couple having a baby and then getting a divorce.  They ended up in a huge fight and Ricky walked away from her.  She went into the bathroom at the movie theater and bawled her eyes out.

She ran into a girl that she thought looked Tory Collins when she exited the stall.  She gave the pretty girl an offhanded smile.

The girl looked closer at her and said "Mellenda?"

It was Tory.  "Oh hey, Tory.  I didn't expect to run into you here.  And me looking like such a mess too."

"Are you okay Mellenda?"

"I'm all right.  Just got into a big fight with my boyfriend.  But then everybody's extra stressed over the holidays huh?  Does your family live up here?"

"Yeah, well my mom and stepdad.” 

"Oh that's nice.  Well, you have a merry Christmas, Tory."

"You too Mellenda.  Thanks.  I hope things get better for you with your boyfriend."

"I doubt it Tor, but it's nice of you to say so."

Mellenda turned and left the bathroom.  She was looking around for Ricky when she saw Tony.  She ran over to him and threw her arms around him, too distracted to think about the fact Tony was going out with Tory.  “Oh Anthony it’s so good to see you.  I didn’t know you had family up here.”

"I uh, don't." He turned to Tory who had appeared beside them.  "My girlfriend does."

"Oh, Tory.  I'm sorry.  I didn't know you two were dating.  I keep screwing everything up today."   She had heard that they were dating of course and still thought that Tony had broken it off with her because he was interested in Tory, but she didn’t want to look like a total bitch.

"It's okay Mellenda."

"Well, I guess I'll let you two get to your movie then." Mellenda was starting to feel even more uncomfortable.

Tory gave her a kind smile.  "Do you want to come with us?  I mean, if you're not busy."

"Thanks Tory, but I'd better get out of here.  Enrique took off a while ago, so if I don't want him to leave town without me, I'd better go see if I can find him."

"Do you need a ride somewhere Lin?"  Tony said.

"No Anthony.  He wouldn't really leave me here.  I'm sure he's just wandering around the other side of the mall.  We had such a terrible fight.  I'd better go find him before he gets any angrier, thinking I left HIM.  You two have a merry Christmas."

She gave them a wave, and took off out of the movie theatre, glad to escape. 

She couldn’t find Ricky.  She was starting to think that he really had left her.  She called him and he said he’d meet her in front of the food court.  It took him so long to get there that she was sure he had left her.

They went back to his parents’ house soon after.  It was uncomfortable to spend the holiday with his family.  She had never felt uncomfortable around his family before.  Most of the time she felt more comfortable around Ricky’s family than she did her own.  But the tension between her and Ricky was thick.  She knew it wouldn’t be long before he broke up with her.

Chapter 5

Mellenda awoke early on the morning of December 26
th
.  She knew that this was her last chance to keep Ricky.  There was a part of her that knew she already lost him though, and her mood was dismal when she entered the guest bathroom at his parents’ house. 

She used the toilet, washed her hands and face and brushed her teeth.  She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered why if she was supposed to be so damned beautiful she couldn’t keep her boyfriend happy.  Her heart hurt as she left the room.

Ricky was standing in the hall.  She smiled at him and he frowned at her.  “Good morning Ricky.”

She moved to his side and tried to kiss him.  He turned his face.  “Mellenda we need to talk.”

“What do you want to talk about Ricky?”  She gave him her best wide eyed innocent brown eyes.

“You know what I want to talk about Mellenda.  Get your coat.  We’ll go outside.”

“You want to smoke don’t you?  That is such a disgusting habit.”

Ricky sighed.  “I quit.”

“Does your new girlfriend not like the taste on your lips either?”  She gave him a tight smile and then turned back towards the guest bedroom.

She blinked back tears as she gathered her things, wondering how she was going to get home.  There was no way in hell she was going to beg Ricky for a ride.  That would be pathetic.  Although she thought that did feel rather pathetic at the moment.

She shoved her clothes into her bag and then put her jacket on.  She put first the strap of her backpack over her shoulder and then the strap of her purse, wishing yet again that her parents weren’t so messed up that they had forgotten she was alive.  If they knew she was alive, she would probably have a car or at the very least be able to call them and ask them to come get her.

Ricky was at the bottom of the stairs.  She looked at his handsome face and a single tear dropped down hers.  He reached to brush it away.  She gave him a dirty look.  He was not going to get away with acting like a gentleman right now she thought.

He sighed as he held the front door open for her.  He shut the door and she followed him around to the patio. 

“Talk Ricky.”

“Mellenda it didn’t need to end like this.  You held on so tightly.  It didn’t make any sense to me with the other choices you’ve made.”

“If you’re talking about the stupid abortion again you can just shut the hell up.  It’s done.  I can’t take it back.  I told you that I’m sorry over and over again.  What else do you want me to do?”

“Think before you make another mistake like that.”

“How was it a mistake?  We didn’t need a kid.”

“You never offered me any kind of a say in the decision.  There were other options.  But this is no longer about your abortion.  This is about the end of our relationship.  I had hoped that we could be friends but you are making it extremely difficult for me Mellenda, for both of us.”

“It’s because I’m the one who’s getting dumped.”

A ghost of smile crossed Ricky’s face.  “Would you like to do the honors?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.  Everyone thinks you’re such a smart, cultured gentleman.  They say ‘look at Ricky, he’s only 19 and he acts more adult than men twice his age.  He’s going places.’  You have everyone fooled.  You’re just another lying cheating man like all the rest.”

“I’m sorry Mellenda.  I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.”

“Fuck you.  You didn’t mean for it to happen.”  Mellenda felt like hitting him.  Why did people have to say such stupid things when they cheated she wondered?  Why couldn’t they be
honest?  The bullshit only made it feel worse.  “Love is an illusion.  You and all your stupid pretty words were a big lie.  I hate you Ricky.  I wish I’d never met you.”

“I understand why you feel that way.  I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did and nothing you say to me is going to change that.  Why did you have to lie to me?  You’ve been messing around for a long time haven’t you?  How could you look me in the eye and tell me that you loved me and that there wasn’t someone else?”

“Oh Mellenda.”  He reached his hand out to her.  She smacked it away. 

“You no longer have the right to touch me.  Who is she Ricky?”

“She’s pregnant.  We’re getting married.”

“I didn’t ask to hear your fairy tale future, I asked who she was.  Answer me you fucking coward.  It’s not like it’s not going to be around Brentwood before you know it anyway.”

Ricky sighed.  “Molli.”

Mellenda’s eyes widened.  “That stupid slut was telling the truth when she told me that you two horny disgusting pieces of shit had sex on my bed wasn’t she?  What the hell Ricky?  You’re dumping me for a moron with a single digit IQ that will spread her legs for any guy with a penis.  That baby can’t be yours.  She has a boyfriend and who knows how many other lovers.  You make me sick.  How could you be so stupid?  She’s not even that damned pretty.”

“Molli is not a moron or a slut and we had sex on her bed, not yours.”

“Don’t defend her.  She is stupid.  It takes her hours to do the simplest homework.  She is a slut.  She gave it up at thirteen.  She has a boyfriend, but of course she stole him too.  And you want to marry someone like that and raise a kid that’s probably not yours.  I feel sorry for you.  No, actually I don’t.  If you’re going to be that stupid and throw your life away, you deserve it.  You deserve to be cheated on and lied to.  I hope that you like the way it feels.  I sure as hell didn’t.”

“In case you don’t remember Mellenda, you’ve been lying to me for months.”

Mellenda looked at him and felt a puzzle piece fall into place in her head.  “That whore was the one that told you about the abortion wasn’t she?  I tell that dumb bitch something in confidence and she runs and tells you because she knew that it would drive another nail into the coffin that our relationship was turning into.  I am the world’s biggest idiot.  Damn.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

“I am.  That crap was eating at me and I had to get it out.  I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d freak out on me.  I bet she told you that I was casual about it too didn’t she?  It wasn’t casual for me.  It wasn’t casual to have someone scrape what would have been a baby out of my body either.  I didn’t feel any of that stupid crap that some women say they feel like this vast emptiness or hear a baby crying, but it didn’t feel good.  I didn’t want to ruin our lives.  I was thinking about you when I did it.  But it doesn’t matter now does it?  You’re signing on the dotted line with a smile on your stupid face and willingly asking for a life of misery.  She’s going to cheat on you, because she’s a whore and whores always cheat.  She’s an idiot so you’re going to have to support her while she sits on her ass and gets fat.  She’ll make a terrible mother.  That kid is probably going to be just as retarded as she is.  Especially if it’s Jude’s.  He’s not the brightest crayon in the box either.  Has she even bothered to tell him she might be knocked up with his kid?  What about the ten other possible baby daddies?  Oh my god Ricky.  How can you do this?”

“I don’t appreciate your words Mellenda.  You really should think before you speak.”

Mellenda snorted.  “Oh, does it hurt your feelings to hear the truth about your slutty new girlfriend?  Or your fiancé or whatever in the hell she is.  That ring I found, it was never for me was it?  It was for the queen of slutty morons.”

“You shouldn’t go through other people’s things.  You might not like what you find.”

“Fuck you.  Some people should learn to be honest and not be cowards.  Have fun marrying a crazy, stupid slut.  I hope you have a nice life.”

Mellenda turned to leave.  She was going to walk as far as she could stand and then call a cab.  She wasn’t going to bother going back to her parents’ house.  She was going straight back to Brentwood.  She didn’t give a shit if it was pathetic to be hanging out at Crestview Academy
almost the whole winter break.  She didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone.  She was going to put in a request for a new roommate too.  She was afraid that if she had to deal with Molli’s smug face she would end up killing her.  She remembered how Molli had shoved the promise ring Jude had given her straight down Tory’s throat.  She could only imagine how smug the dumb bitch was going to be when she was able to flash around the stupid engagement ring that Ricky had bought for her.

“Mellenda.”

Mellenda didn’t bother to turn around.  “What?”

“You were always my second choice.  When I was spending time in Brentwood, it was Molli I was waiting for.  I didn’t think she would say yes to a guy like me.  That’s why I asked you out instead.”

Mellenda stifled an urge to wring Ricky’s neck.  “Thanks for telling me.  I get to hear that from you and then I get to go back to school and watch your whore show off her engagement ring.  I know she will because she sure as hell made sure to show everyone the crappy promise ring that Jude bought for her, especially Tory.  Now that she’s got something she can actually be proud to show off, I’m sure it will never stop.  Goodbye Ricky.  Thanks for the memories even though lately most of them weren’t so great.”

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why not?  It’s true isn’t it?  I hardly think you need to bother to try to spare my feelings anymore.  I have to get out of here.  I can’t stand the sound of your voice.”

Mellenda took a step off of the patio and into the yard.  Ricky touched her shoulder.  She turned around and gave him a look that she wished really could kill.  “You heard what I said about touching me.  If you touch me again, I won’t be responsible for my actions.  They’ll call it temporary insanity.”

“There’s no need to be so melodramatic.  Our relationship ended.  It happens.  You’ll find someone.”

“Why would I want to?  I’ve had two real boyfriends in my life, if you can really call Tony my boyfriend since he never bothered to try to be faithful to me.  At least he was honest about it though.  You couldn’t even be honest.  You always pretended to be perfect.”

“I’ve never had the illusion that I was perfect Mellenda.  Let me give you a ride back to your parents’ house.”

Mellenda shook her head.  “No way.  I wouldn’t take a ride from you if you owned the last transportation on earth.  I’m not going back there anyway.  I wonder if you eventually become invisible when enough people try to pretend that you don’t exist.  I guess I’ll find out soon enough.”

“Oh Mellenda.  I am so sorry.  You are such a bright, beautiful girl.  I know how much it hurts you that your parents treat you the way they do.  I wish things could have been different, but honey they’re not.  I love Molli.  Did you really want to go on thinking that I still loved you, that my heart didn’t lie elsewhere?”

“I’m not a complete moron Ricky.  Why couldn’t you have done all of us a favor and asked that stupid slut out instead of me in the first place?”

“I wish you’d stop calling her that.”

“It’s true and you know it’s true.  Sometimes the truth hurts.  You’re a coward.  I wish I’d never met you.”

“I understand that you’re hurt Mellenda.  I never wanted to hurt you.  You have to understand that.”

“I don’t understand that because it’s not true.  I have to go.  Please just leave me alone.”

Mellenda turned and walked away.  Ricky called out to her, but she ignored him.  She couldn’t stand to hear more of his lies.  She understood that he thought he was in love with Molli.  She understood that he wanted to do what he thought was the right thing and marry her and be a father to her baby.  She understood that he was still upset over the fact that she’d had an abortion and hadn’t told him about it.  She didn’t understand why he had to continue to lie to her and make platitudes when it wasn’t helping either of them.

Mellenda thought that if she didn’t think cigarettes were revolting, she probably would have wanted one right then.  She walked briskly down the block.  She was two blocks away when the tears started to flow.  She brushed them angrily back from her face and quickened her pace even more.  By the time she had reached the downtown area, she was running and almost completely out of breath.

As she took a deep breath and then let it out, she realized that she was having a panic attack.  Her heart was pounding in her chest.  Her palms were sweaty and she felt shaky and nauseous.  She felt like she was dying.  Then again she thought she wasn’t sure that she’d mind dying.  What difference would it make?  She might as well already be dead as far as her parents were concerned. 

She took several more deep breaths, letting them out slowly.  Eventually her heart beat slowed and the grip of the panic attack eased.  She realized that she could see the bus station from where she was and wondered whether she had enough money for a bus ticket back to Brentwood.

She went into the bus station and used the restroom.  She washed her face, which garnered a strange look from a middle aged woman with two little girls in tow.  She fought the urge to give the woman a dirty look, and instead forced a smile.  The woman gave her an even stranger look, and walked out of the bathroom.

Mellenda looked at herself in the mirror.  She looked like crap and she knew it.  Her eyes were puffy.  She was tempted to reapply her makeup, but then she realized that she didn’t care what she looked like.  Ricky and Tony had both told her how beautiful she was.  Hell, random strangers had told her how beautiful she was.  She looked into her eyes and wondered what difference it made.  Why did it matter if she had a pretty face when no one gave a shit about her?