Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set (74 page)

“Sweetheart, kids need fathers.  I am not one of those women that think that mothers are superior to fathers because they carry a child for nine months.  Maybe sometimes mothering comes more naturally to some women than fathering does to some men.  It’s something to carry a child in your womb and to nurse them at your breast.  It’s a feeling like no other.  That does not mean that mothers are more needed in our society or any society than fathers.  But just because your baby’s daddy is an ass and skipped out on you does not mean that you need to find a replacement.  You will be enough when you have to be enough.  I am lucky enough that I had my oldest child with an amazing man that loves me no matter what and never tried to skip out on anything, even though he was married when I got pregnant.  My daughter’s dad is a complete ass.  My youngest son was born from my selfish yearning to have another child.  He might be Mitchell’s too.  He never wanted to have his blood tested because he always said that he would be Greyson’s father no matter what and with any luck he is.  He looks like his brother but it could come from me.  I slept with so many men when I was trying to get pregnant that the idea of what I did makes me want to throw up.  I’m kinda slutty and I love sex and have been known to enjoy a good threesome, but when I wanted a baby, I should have stuck with sleeping with Mitchell.  He’s great in bed and he’s such a wonderful father.  He is so good that he watched Buster and Sheryl while I was out whoring around sometimes.  Some people think that Mitchell is pathetic because they look at our relationship and think that I’ve been walking all over him for years.  I never wanted to do that though.  I know he loves me, I just didn’t feel the same way.  I was dumb enough to think that when I started messing around with Gabe that maybe I could love him.”

“I thought that I loved him too.  Now I’m not so sure.  When Fuller walked out on me, I told myself that I would not look for a replacement father.  But Gabe was so kind to me and he never made a move on me.  I seduced him and then we were swept up this in affair and he was promising me that he’d divorce Leslie.  I was a fool and now I have to figure out how to end it with him.”

“You’re gonna be a good mother Robyn.  If I can be a good mother with all of the messed up shit in my head and what I’ve done, I know you can be a good mother.  It surprises me that he let you make the first move.  Then again, I have a feeling that you feel really strongly about your morals.  Gabe buys women things so that they’ll feel obligated to him, so that they will do anything he tells them to.  He’s addicted to sex and from what I understand has slept with as many as three female bartenders at once.  Has he ever asked you to do it some place weird in the bar like on top of the bar or in the bathroom?”

“No.  We had sex the first time on the back booth, but after that it’s always been at my apartment.”

“You know what?  I think Gabe might actually respect you Robyn.  Leslie has fucked with his head so much that he looks at women differently now.  He looks at them as less than him, things to be used while at the same time, searching for that one elusive woman that will finally love him.  Except he’s not going to leave her even if he does find that woman.  I never told him I loved him, because I didn’t.  I was sure that I could, but I never did.  I let him use my body for months because he’s good in bed.  But there are a few even more messed up things about our relationship.  The first time we had sex, Mitchell had all three of my kids and I was depressed.  I was still working with Eric and I let him leave early, told him I’d finish up the cleanup myself.  I did finish the cleanup myself, but then I got trashed.  It was a Saturday night and I figured I’d lie down on the back booth until I was sober enough to drive home.  I fell asleep and I woke up naked and with Gabe going down on me.”

“You’re kidding me.  That’s like a form of rape.”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at it and I was horny so I let him make me come.  He looked so cocky when he’d finished that I wanted to smack him.  He told me he’d always wanted me and that he knew that I was waiting for him.  He ran down this whole line of bull about his marriage and his kids and how I was going to be the woman that was going to save him from all of that.  He told me that he was going to be a real father for my kids and that he knew I would be a wonderful stepmother to his kids.  He offered me the manager job at his restaurant, said he’d set me right up and pay me some ridiculous amount of money.  But I never wanted that.  Not even the first time we had sex.  Okay, here’s where it gets even more fucked up.  We always used a rubber, but when I was heavy into messing around with Gabe, besides that one time I was with Eric, I wasn’t with other men.  Well, besides Isley and I used to be at the point that there was no man I’d give up sleeping with Isley for.  He’s Sheryl’s dad in case you hadn’t guessed.  I got pregnant.  I told Gabe and that fuck smiled and told me that he knew because he had poked a hole in every condom he’d ever used with me, that he had been doing it with women for years and had done it with his wife.”

“He poked a hole in the condoms and bragged about it?”

“Yeah.  Have you heard about Brandy?  He told me about her because it’s all around town that he snorted a line of coke with her because this guy that used to work for him walked in on it.  But he is supposed to have done the same thing to her and who knows how many other girls that have worked here.  He does it to trap the women that he’s with.  He thinks that if he gets them pregnant they won’t leave him.  That they’ll want a father for their children so bad that they’ll be content to be his mistress forever and let him do whatever he wants to them sexually.  But I wasn’t going to put up with that bullshit.  I may not have cared who the father of Greyson was and I regret that, but I could not have Gabe’s child.  I stole money from him and got an abortion.  Abortion has never sat well in my head, but I knew that I couldn’t look at Gabe’s child and feel the right way about him or her.  Adoption was an option yes, but I couldn’t carry Gabe’s child either.  I told him and he hit me.  I was pissed and I hit him back.  I almost quit and I took more help from Mitchell after that, but I was dumb enough to keep working here.  I started sleeping with him again for a while because I looked at myself still sleeping with Isley and letting Mitchell take care of me and I felt like a dumb, pathetic bitch.  But when Mitchell proposed to me again six weeks ago, I decided to say yes and I told Gabe that I was quitting and that if he didn’t stay the hell away from me, that I would tell Mitchell that he hit me.  Mitchell is not a violent man, but when it comes to me and the kids, he is very protective.”

“Wow.  I’m so sorry Kasia.”

“I got myself into the mess honey.  I was dumb enough to remain in it.  I got out and when I walk away from this place, I will never look back.  I will be happy and my children will be well taken care of, and maybe I will grow to love Mitchell.  You need to break it off with him right now.  I don’t care if the guy you were with last night was supposed to be a one night fuck, or if he’s the love of your life.  If he’ll stand by you and put up with Gabe’s phone calls and stalking and his gifts after you tell him that it’s over, he is a man of honor.  If he won’t, then I hope you have a good support system.  I’ll stand by you while I’m still here.  You need company, call me.  I’ll have to bring my kids but you should probably get used to having crazy kids around.  Eric will never have your back unless he’s in your panties, so don’t bother to mention anything to him.  I still think that Neal has a thing for you, but even if he doesn’t he will have your back regardless.  You’re not alone Robyn.  I know that I probably scared the shit out of you telling you that he’s going to stalk you after you break it off with him, but it’s true.  You screw him and you tell him you can’t do it again, he’ll stalk you until the guy that you’re with fucks up, or until you get so horny that you’ll screw him.  You mess around with him and you break it off with him before he’s ready to let go, he’ll stalk you.  Expect him to sit outside your place.  Expect flowers and romantic but dirty love letters, phone calls and texts at all hours of the night.”

Robyn sighed.  “How does he get away with that?”

“He’s got money.  We are women that work for him, some of whom are ex junkies or who were homeless or next to homeless when they walked in here.  You seemed better off than a lot of girls.  I know I was other than the fact that I had three kids with maybe three different fathers and still slept with my daughter’s dad. I never did drugs.  I drink too much sometimes, but I take care of my kids.”

“I never did drugs either besides smoking a little pot here and there.  I was next to homeless after Fuller left me, but I probably could have borrowed money from my parents again.  The other job prospects weren’t good though.  And my car was broken down.  I owed my parents almost
$600.  My phone was shut off and I had nothing for the baby.  I walked in here, he hired me and he paid for my car, he got me health insurance, he bought me so much stuff for the baby.  He gave me $2200 the day he hired me.  He pays me two to three times as much as he should sometimes.  He seems so perfect besides the fact that he’s married.”

Kasia laughed.  “Oh, and the fact that he lies and tricks women into getting pregnant with his child.  When I slept with him the last few times, I bought the condoms from the machine in the bathroom myself and didn’t let him touch them.”

“So you really think he’s going to stalk me?”

Kasia sighed.  “Unfortunately I do hon.  He sat outside my place for almost a week after I broke it off with him.  I think the only reason he stopped sending me flowers and expensive jewelry and watching me is because I moved my kids into the house that Mitchell owns here and he moved in two days later.”

“I can’t believe that I got myself into a mess like this while I was pregnant.”

“You’re human honey.  Pregnant women are vulnerable, especially when their men are assholes and walk away from them.  Your hormones rage and it’s hard to look at a guy who is really good to you and looks like Gabe and not think that he could be yours.  He might respect you, and I’m sure he digs on the fact that you love him, but he’s not going to divorce Leslie.  If they get divorced, it will come from her.”

Robyn sighed.  She started to speak, but then a crowd walked in the door and she realized that while she and Kasia had been spilling their guts, the snow had slowed down.  Kasia gave her a smile and then they went back to work.

The rest of the night went quickly.  Cleanup was quick.  When they parted in the parking lot, Kasia gave her a hug.

“Call me if you want to talk or if you want company.  If you want to hang out, you can come to my house.  It’s huge and if Mitchell’s around, my kids are usually better behaved.”

“Thank you.”  They’d exchanged number inside.

“I mean it Robyn.  You are not alone in this.  Stay strong and realize that you deserve a man that will be yours and that is honest with you.  You might not find him tomorrow, but he’s out there.”

“I know.”  Robyn hoped that that man was Neal, but she didn’t want to be too hopeful and she certainly didn’t want to feel like she was using him to get away from Gabe.  “Goodnight Kasia.”

“Night Robyn.”

They got into their cars and went their separate ways.  She called Neal first thing when she got home.  He said he would be right down.  The minutes before he knocked on her door seemed to take forever.

When she opened the door, he gave her a bright smile, but it faded when he looked at her face.  “What’s wrong Robyn?”

She sighed as he closed the door.  “I talked to Kasia.  I think Gabe might be even worse than we thought he was.”

Neal took her hand and led her to the couch.  “What do you mean?”

“She said that she did have an abortion and admitted that he hit her.  She said that he bragged about getting her pregnant on purpose.  He poked holes in the condoms they used when they were together.  She said that after she broke it off with him completely, he stalked her until she moved in with her oldest son’s father, the man that she’s marrying.”

“She finally decided to marry him huh?  It kinda reminds me of that love song that talks about how two outta three ain’t bad.  ‘I want you, I need you but I ain’t never gonna love you’.  Who knows?  Maybe she will love him.  I doubt it, but if he makes her happy and takes care of her kids like they’re his own, it sounds good to me.”

“Yeah.  It scares me to think of Gabe stalking me.  What if he finds out about us and does something to you?  He told me that he beat the shit out of his stepdad when he found out that he had raped his sister.”

“He does strike me as a man with a tightly controlled temper.  I’m not concerned for my safety.  I’m not much of a fighter, but I’m pretty sure I can hold my own in a fair right.  I’m concerned for the safety of you and the baby.”

“I don’t think he’d hurt me.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but stress is harmful to babies.  If you’re worried about what he’s going to do when you break up with him, maybe you should wait until after you quit.  When are you scheduled to go on maternity leave?”

“It’s still two months away.  I can’t lead him on.  I definitely wouldn’t be having sex with him anymore since we’re together now, but I don’t want to be with him at all.  It was all a big lie anyway.  Kasia said she thinks he might actually respect me, but I think he treated me differently because I was pregnant and because I think I said some stuff to him about being against infidelity after he hired me.  Wait, Neal we are together aren’t we?  I don’t want to pressure you, but I don’t want to misinterpret it either.”

Neal squeezed her hand.  “I play for keeps Robyn.  I’ve had casual sex in my life, but that was only a few times after Tress left me.  I was angry and I felt helpless so I got drunk every night for a month straight after I got out of the shelter.  I went home with a lot of different women for a while, but I looked at myself and realized I WAS pathetic, because I was allowing myself to be.  So I stayed away from women until I met you.  There was a girl I was involved with for a while before I came here, but she was so quiet and shy.  I think she’d been molested when she was a child, but hadn’t been raped.  I’m pretty sure she was a virgin and I didn’t want to take her virginity.  I liked her a lot and I respected her.  She was so much stronger than she believed herself to be, but I couldn’t pretend that I loved her and have sex with her because I was horny.  Then I really would have hated myself.”