Modern Girl's Guide To Vacation Flings (30 page)

Her lips curved into a smile, heavy lashes fluttering over her still-closed eyes. Much to his surprise, she ground her bottom against his hard-on.

"Make me," she whispered.

Well fuck, he could handle an elbow in the face every night if it meant waking up to this. To her protesting whimpers, Matt rolled away, but just to get a condom. With the task complete, he shifted and was buried deep inside her. He might be willing to give up sleep all together if this was his reward.

Later that morning, after some more hot sex and a few more hours of sleep, Beth woke him with a kiss. The small cabin space was flooded with the morning light, and the sight of her cast in hues of gold as she pushed her sleep-mussed hair out of her face was dazzling. She was wrapped around him, still naked and Matt couldn't think of any place he'd rather be.

"Good you're awake," she said and shifted up to face him. "Do you feel up for a swim?"

Poking out from the covers, Matt could see her long leg tucked between his and he watched as she lightly stroked her foot up and down his calf. The movement captivated him and he completely lost focus on what she was saying.

Beth tapped a finger on his chest. "Matt? Where you listening to me?" She sounded impatient, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes. The hand left his chest and traced a path down his side. "I was just saying, if we're just going to get hot and sweaty, why not have a swim when we're done? So, are you up for that?"

"Sure," he said slowly as his sleep dazed mind worked to take everything in. He should have been satiated after the previous day's activities, but Matt was looking forward to getting sweaty with her all over again. He moved to kiss her, one of the many things he really enjoyed doing, but before he could capture her lips, she sat up.

"Awesome," she said, clapping her hands together. "I'll change into some shorts and we can grab a quick bite to eat on our way. Maybe some fruit or yogurt. Something light before the yoga class."

Before he could process her words, she hopped out of bed and pulled open the drawer where she'd put her things. She tossed a couple things on the bed, then shimmied into a pair of underwear. Matt again let his mind wander as he watched her dress, mourning the loss of his view.

"If we hurry we can make the early class and not have to deal with the crowds. Not many people are up at this hour. Hopefully we'll have the class all to ourselves."

He'd obviously been at a disadvantage waking up to her naked body in his arms, because he agreed to something before the cobwebs cleared completely.

"What?"

"The yoga class," she said and pulled on a shirt.

She was completely dressed now, but Matt was pretty sure he could get her undressed and under him in just a few seconds.

"Matt!" Beth tossed his shirt at him. "I knew you weren't listening. We can't stay in bed all day again. There are still some things I want to do that involve us being dressed, so keep your mind PG."

"It's still early. I think we have time for some NC-17 fun," he said, patting the bed.

Beth flopped beside him and smacked his bare leg. "If I don't take a break and get some sustenance, I'm going to get cranky. But maybe if you play your cards right, we can have a little afternoon delight." She pushed away his roaming hands and sat up. "I mean it. Let's get out of this room."

Matt reluctantly climbed out of bed, heading toward the bathroom. "Fine. But I'm holding you to that."

After their workout and lazing by the pool for most the morning, she did make good on the promise. Unfortunately, their day dissolved into night, and the next day passed with blinding speed.

The last night on the ship was the hardest. In the back of his mind, Matt wanted to slow down, savor these last hours with her in this magical bubble they'd created. But he was overwhelmed with a sense of urgency.

That night, his touch was just a little harder. He kissed her just a little longer, pushed her just a little further. He wanted to believe that they had all the time in the world to explore each other's bodies, but in reality, they were out of time.

They'd dock in Barcelona in the morning and he didn't know what would happen when they left the ship. Yes, she was here now in his arms, but what they had was tenuous. The second they stepped off the boat everything would change. Too many things were left unsaid, and he wanted to push her for a solid commitment, but Matt worried their fragile love would shatter in his hands if he held on too tight.

Into the early hours of the next morning, Matt held Beth in his arms, fingering the smooth wood of the necklace nestled between her breasts and just listening to her steady breaths as she slept. Here in the dark, he knew one thing for sure; he couldn't let her go. From that first meeting on the plane, Matt had known Beth was different. She wasn't the type of woman you walked away from without leaving a piece of yourself behind.

Chapter 18

Modern Girl Tip #18: Endings—Just because it's short affair doesn't mean it's easy to say goodbye. But if you took our advice and spelled out your expectations at the beginning, you can keep the "good" in goodbye.

Beth kept drifting in and out of a fitful sleep, knowing what came next. Matt's flight was leaving the same day they docked, so they were going to say their goodbyes at the port. Or at least, that's what he had planned.

Beth knew she was going to break things off before he'd asked her to stay the night with him. She knew staying with him was a bad idea. Hell, she knew it was the worst thing she could possibly do to herself. But after going over every possible outcome, she decided giving Matt these last two days would make it easier.

He thought he wanted a relationship with her, but in truth, he didn't know what he was getting into. No one she knew in her line of work was in a long term relationship. The ones that tried either left the field or got their hearts broken. Look at her parent's marriage. They started out strong, but it still ended in disaster. And even if she ignored the trail of heartache that her co-workers left in their paths, all Beth had to do was look at her own disastrous relationship with Robert.

But the real difference this time was she cared. Beth had fallen for Matt in a big way, and the longer they stayed together the harder it would get when things finally fell apart. And they would fall apart. Only by the time that happened, she'd be too far gone not be devastated.

Losing him now was hard enough, but it would kill her later. Until Beth figured out what she wanted, figured out if she wanted to build a life with him back in Chicago or if she needed to stay the world traveling aid worker who had no real home, she'd never be the right woman for him. At the very least she needed time. She had a job to do after the wedding, and when that was finished, maybe things would be different.

The trouble was that Matt was already invested, and he was the type of man who'd push the issue if she'd simply told him she needed time. And she couldn't tell him she wasn't interested. He'd already called her on that lie. Leaving like this was the only way to ensure he wouldn't come after her, and the distance would help her think.

While she never said she'd give him anything more than these blissful days, the commitment was implied when she stayed the night with him. It killed her to know that he'd be hurt by her betrayal. She just hoped that, when the dust finally settled, Matt wouldn't hate her.

Beth slipped out of bed before the sun was up, careful not to wake him and dressed quietly. They'd packed the night before and set the bags in the hall to be collected by the staff, so the only thing she had to take with her was her purse.

Before she left, Beth scrawled a simple note. "I'm sorry" was all it said. There wasn't anything else to say. And then on impulse, she untied the leather strap of her necklace and placed it atop the note. She wouldn't blame him if he threw it out, but she couldn't slip away without leaving something of herself behind.

She'd marked all her bags for early delivery and caught a cab at the port. She gave the driver Michael and Ana's address and waited until the ship disappeared behind tall buildings before she turned around. All the while, fighting the burning sting of unshed tears.

She wouldn't cry. She couldn't, because if she started, Beth was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to stop.

It wouldn't matter what she decided after Costa Rica. Matt would hate her for leaving like this. But wasn't that the point? She needed him to hate her, because once they got home, if he called her up, came to see her, anything, Beth would cave.

Michael was waiting for her at the curb and he knew right away that something was wrong. "Beth, you look out of sorts," he said, picking up her bag. "What's wrong, love?"

She looked back the direction the cab had taken, back to the ship, and sighed. "I was up early this morning. I just need some sleep."

"Bullocks," he cursed, his English accent coming out strong. "You don't look tired, love; you look like you're hurting. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Come on up to the flat and Ana will get you sorted." He picked up her bags and whisked her upstairs.

Upon entering, her cousin Ana immediately declared her unfit for their outing she'd planned for Beth's first night in Spain. "I'm going to keep you in and baby you all night," Ana said, setting a fresh cup of coffee in front of Beth. "Honestly, you look horrid. Are you sure you're feeling well?"

"Thanks, Ana. There's that tact I missed so much. Too bad Michael's British manners didn't rubbed off on you," Beth replied, trying to keep the mood light, but she wasn't even fooling herself. She shrugged, trying to make light of her heartbreak. "It was a long trip."

"Long trip, huh? Michael dear, why don't you go down to the bistro and pick up something for lunch." Ana gave him a quick kiss and shooed him out the door. After pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee, Ana down on the small love seat next to Beth and sipped thoughtfully, while giving her a good once over. "I'm not buying it. The next thing you'll be telling me is that stricken look and those red puffy eyes have nothing to do with that man you mentioned in your emails."

"It was just a fling. Some fun while on vacation. He was great, but we both knew it wasn't going to last. It's better this way. You know I'm leaving for Costa Rica. I don't need another man waiting for me to come home."

"Oh, Beth, I love you. You are truly Uncle Luis's daughter. Just like him, you're brilliant and giving, but you're stupid when it comes to matters of the heart. You might say it was just a fling, but you've shown up on our doorstep broken hearted. I just hope you didn't do anything you'll regret later."

"I'll admit, I'm not happy with how I left things, but I'd hardly call it broken hearted." No, broken hearted was far too mild a term for what Beth was feeling. She was raw. But Beth couldn't linger on what might have been. She needed to move forward. "I'm just really tired. I didn't sleep well last night. Give me a day and I'll be right as rain. You'll see."

"You know I'm only worried about you. You didn't say a word after that asshole dumped you and then turned around and proposed to your sister. But you've looked like a kicked puppy ever since you walked through that door. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Matt was special. But I'll move on. I always do." She put on her best smile and wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, Ana or herself.

"I get it. You don't want to talk," Ana said, picking up the empty cups and taking them to the kitchen. "I'm here when you need me, but until you're ready I have lots of Sangria to help pass the time."