Moments In Time (26 page)

19

“
T
IME
FOR ANOTHER BREAK… WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.”
Hilary
reached for her water glass, found it empty, and with a bored smile went to seek a refill.
This is all very nice,
she was thinking,
but I need to get to him. There are things he knows that no one else knows—except maybe her—that I’d love to be able to drag out of him. I’ll bet he knows where Daily was for those four months when he all but disappeared from the face of the earth.

The couple on the sofa sat in an uneasy silence. J.D. turned to his wife and shuffled through the scramble in his brain for something to say, but no clever words would come.

He could tell by a look that had crossed her face from time to time that she had not been untouched by the past. He wondered what had gone through her mind. Was there a longing to go back, to relive it all again, or merely a review of events, no more than the scanning of the table of contents in a magazine?

She gave no sign; her expression, for the most part, had been as tightly controlled as his own. He had felt a breaking of his own heart with each image that had emerged from the closet of his own memories, as he had pulled each out and
held it before her, searching for the right one, much as he had seen her do with dresses before an evening out.

“This one, Jamey?” she would say, holding a garment up
to her body. “Or this one? Which would work best?”

Which would work best, indeed,
he thought.
If I knew that,
we’d be crying in each others
’
arms by now.

“I can’t take anymore.” J.D. turned to Maggie, rubbing the palm of his right hand with the fingers of his left, the tension having caused him to dig his nails into the flesh without even realizing he
had done so. The massage gave
him little relief.

“You brought this on yourself,” she told him. “Don’t start just because she’s out of earshot.”

“You’re carrying this too far, Maggie,” he pleaded. “If you’d only hear me out, you’d know it’s not what you think.”

“I think the circumstances speak for themselves.”

“Damn you.” He banged an angry fist onto the top of the
coffee table. Maggie jumped, as did the cameraman and two production assistants. “You’re so goddamned willing to believe the worst. Will you destroy this family without listening to the truth?”

They stared each other down. Hilary stood in the doorway and stepped into the room before either could blink.
Very interesting. Maybe before the night is over I should try to divide and conquer, as the expression goes.

“So, let’s resume here,” she said, smiling, her hopes renewed. “J.D., many of your contemporaries have had serious drug problems, a few of whom did not survive. Some of those who died were close associates of yours. How were you able to avoid the involvements that afflicted some of your closest friends?”

“Well, I can’t claim to have been lily-white, Hilary. There was a time, when I was younger, when I experimented a bit,” he hesitated, not wanting to lie. He could not deny he had used drugs in his younger days, yet he did not wish to elaborate, knowing his children—particularly his teenage sons—were glued to the television and hanging on every word. “Of course, all that ended when I married Maggie.”

“Would that Rick Daily had been so fortunate,” Hilary noted, watching his eyes.

“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

“Well, I recall the rumors that he was heavily involved with drugs. There were all sorts of stories going around that he had a serious addiction at one time.”

“Well, he may have dabbled with this or that.” J.D. was not going to discuss his best friend’s past problems for the sake of adding a touch of sensationalism to what he knew must be a lackluster interview.

Dabbled was the very least Rick had done, and God knows he paid dearly for it. In some ways, he's still paying the price, though no one knows that but me and Maggie.
He’d been into it real deep for a while, though not, time would prove, as deeply as Lindy had been.

J
.D. had completed the recording of another album—a commercial failure, though the critics had acclaimed his efforts—and immediately set off with Maggie on a belated second honeymoon. After dropping their sons off at his mother’s, they spent six weeks rambling—no itinerary, no reservations—Greece, Italy, France, Spain, living an incredible, romantic, once-in-a-lifetime dream. They’d returned reluctantly to England, happy though they were to see their sons. Jesse and Tyler had run Luke into the ground, she joked, but she’d had a wonderful time.

J.D. called Rick the day after they’d arrived but was unable to get an answer at his apartment. He tried the next two days without success and happened to mention it to Judith one morning as they sat in their mother’s dining room having their morning tea.

“Keep trying,” Judith told him. “My sources tell me that Lindy is here with him.”

“Lindy? Great! Maggie’ll be delighted.”

“I’m not so sure. I hear she’s quit her job and come to stay with him.”

“I don’t understand why you th
ink that would bother Maggie…”

“My sources tell me they’re messing with some heavy stuff,” Judith told him levelly.

“How heavy?” he asked, putting his cup down quietly.

“Big time.” She nodded her head up and down very slowly, her eyebrows arched, her demeanor grave.

“Lindy, too?”

“In a very big way, or so they tell me,” she stared at him intently. “And you, J.D., are you off the stuff?”

“Good God, Jude, I haven’t had so much as a joint since I met Maggie.”
Finally, he had to ask, “Okay, so how’d you know anyway? That I used to smoke.”

Judith laughed, repinning a few stray hairs that had slid from the tight dark twist at the back of her neck. “You have to be kidding, J
.D. Did you think I
was stupid? Jesus. ‘How did I know?’ ”

“Guess I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was,” he acknowledged.

“J.D., I know just about everything you did up until your nineteenth birthday and you went to Germany on that tour. I admit I lost track of you there for a while, but I could fill in a lot of highlights from your early days.”

“How’d you hear so much?”

“Friends. Your big sister is very well connected. I heard about almost every move you made there for a while.”

“Like what?” he felt compelled to test her.

“Like Lilly what’s-her-name taking the train down to London that time on the pretext of visiting her girlfriend from summer camp. Only she and her girlfriend spent their long weekend in that apartment that you and Rick and Hobie had. The person who related this little tale,
incidentally
, was scandalized, since you’d just turned eighteen. Of course, my informant didn’t know you’d long since lost your virginity. Now that was a scandalous episode.”

His jaw almost dropped to the floor. “You couldn’t possibly know about that.”

“Of course I could. I know who, where, and when.”

“You’re bluffing.”

Judith leaned back in her chair and sighed, a sly smile on her lips as she related, “You were fifteen years old. I admit I’ve forgotten the girl’s name, but she was eighteen or nineteen and worked in Mr. Dixon’s pharmacy. Shall I continue?” she asked smugly.

He was speechless.

“Damn,” he said when he’d found his voice again, “you’re good, Jude.”

She laughed again, then noted, “My sources are very good.”

“This is your way,” he told her soberly, “of telling me that those same sources are telling you about Rick.”

She nodded glumly.

“And you’re certain they know what they’re talking about this time?”

“Absolutely certain.” She hated telling him as much as she had hated hearing it herself. Rick was like family and Lindy was one of Maggie’s best friends.

“Would you be insulted if I checked in with my own sources?”

“Not at all.”

He went into the kitchen and called around to a number of old friends. Judith’s sad news had been immediately confirmed.

“Your network is incredibly accurate,” he told her, “but my God, Jude, how will I ever tell Maggie?”

“Tell me what?” Maggie had been out jogging along the four-mile trail she’d laid out for herself, and her unexpected return startled both J.D. and Judith, who exchanged a look of conspiracy. Balancing a cup of coffee in her left hand, she struggled to remove the sweatband from her forehead. “Come on, Jamey, tell me what? Why the gloomy faces on this lovely morning? First morning since we’ve arr
ived that it’s not raining…
”

“Well, Maggie…
Lindy and Rick are in London.” As the words left Judith’s mouth, she became aware of the expression on her brother’s face.

Don’t,
it pleaded.

Too late,
she apologized.

“Great! That’s wonderful. I had no idea Lindy was
considering a trip over. What a coincidence. Let’s call them. Maybe they can drive up for a few days. Maybe tonight. I’m dying to see them, Jamey.” She reached for the phone and looked up at him. “What’s the number?”

“Maggie, put the phone down.” J.D.’s voice was soft, but the seriousness was unmistakable.
She hesitated and looked across the room at her husband. “Hang up, Maggie. They’re not at Rick’s.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I already called there. And I checked around a bit.”

“Where are they then?” She felt a bit confused.

“I’m not quite sure. Out of town was all I was told.”

“By whom?”

“An old friend.”

“So call someone else. Call some of your many mutual friends.” She held the receiver out to him.

“I’ve already done that.”

“And?”

“Sit down, Maggie,” he said gently.

“Jamey, has something happened to them?”

“Well, yes, sort of. Maggie, I don’t know how to tell you this. Judith heard the rumors, and I checked them out with a couple of people because I didn’t want to believe it myself.”

“What rumors? What are you talking about?”

“Maggie, it seems our good friends have developed some very unsavory habits.” He wasn’t sure he could get the words out.

“What kind of habits?”

“Heavy drug habits.” She was wide-eyed, and he knew he had to tell her the rest. “Heroin.”

“Heroin.” She sat dumbfounded, the one word seeming to echo in the silence of the small room. It seemed to take forever for her to find her voice again. “Who told you?”

“Some friends.”

“Who? What friends?” she demanded.

“Jason. Harry. Will.”

“There has to be a mistake.” Her voice trembled.

“There’s no mistake, Maggie. Both J.D. and I have heard
it from a number of sources.” Judith spoke up for the first time.

“How do you know the information is reliable? How do you know these guys know what they’re talking about?” Maggie turned back to J.D.

“Jason has apparently been using with Rick. He’s been supplying him for the past few months.”

“Nice bunch of friends you have. Junkies and pushers,” she spat disgustedly.

She rose and walked from the room. He heard the back door slam and saw her walking across the field, past the small ba
rn
and out toward the woods beyond. Her hands were jammed into the pockets of her jacket, her head hanging down. Judith looked up, sadness reflected in every line of her face. She watched her brother as he followed Maggie from the house and into the early morning mist.

He found her seated on a low rock, making circles in the dirt with the toe of her right foot. Her face was wet, tears spilling down onto her knees. He sat behind her, placed a handkerchief in her hands, put his arms around her, and rocked her gently in the circle of his arms.

“Don’t run from me, Maggie,” he whispered. “Don’t run away from me when you hurt.”

“I can’t deal with this. I don’t understand this.”

He heard the anger in her voice and waited for her to explode with it.

“How could they be so goddamned stupid? Why would they get involved with something like this? They can’t possibly be so ignorant that they don’t know that stuff can kill them. What could they possibly be thinking of?”

“Maggie, people become addicted, and they cease to think. They go from one hit to another, and they generally don’t think about too much in between.”

“How can you be so
blasé
about this?”

“I’m not being
blasé
, Maggie; I’m trying to deal with the reality of the situation.”

“How could Rick let this happen?” She begged J.D. for an explanation, as if he would have one to give.

“I doubt that Rick is in control of the situation at this
point. And you know how he is, Maggie; he’s not a very disciplined person. He’s always been one to more or less go with the flow of things. I suspect they did it for a lark, played around with it a bit, then found themselves playing around more and more. It’s my guess that Rick’s been using it on and off for a while, then Lindy probably wanted a try.”

“I’ll kill him for this,” she said, weeping. “And Lindy. Of all people to get into something like this. Why would he even give the stuff to her, knowing how she is?”

“That’s assuming he has some control over her, isn’t it? How likely do you think that is?”