Authors: Karen Stivali
“You like that?” he asked, voice hoarse from his own need.
“Yeah. A lot.”
“Good. So do I.”
He turned us sideways so we could both watch in the mirror. Watch his cock rubbing my ass and disappearing between my legs. Watch my hand moving ever faster over my erection. I leaned back to kiss him, needing to taste him. That was too much for Tanner. He groaned into my mouth, pumped himself harder along the crack of my ass, and shot his hot wet load onto my back. Feeling his come running down my back undid me. In three strokes I felt my climax peaking. I turned toward the mirror just in time. The first spurt splattered on the smooth glass, running down in thick white streaks as I painted more lines on either side.
Jesus.
Tanner was still pumping himself. Still watching, eyes dark as night.
His breath was warm against my neck. “That was fucking amazing. Forget porn. You’re way better.”
I laughed, long and hard and so loud, I wondered if we’d wake the rest of the house.
Tanner handed me a towel, and I went to work wiping off the mirror while he cleaned my back. Even after all these months, it felt weird to be cleaned off by another person. But I liked it. I liked the care he took. I liked that he always remembered. Most of all I liked how afterward things would go back to normal between us.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Kind of.”
“I’m starving. How do I always wind up working at places that don’t serve food?”
He tossed me a pair of shorts, then tugged on his own, and we headed downstairs. Snacking with Tanner in the middle of the night had become one of my favorite things. Without the other housemates around, it seemed like we had the whole house to ourselves. Even when they were awake, it was like family. Maybe a slightly dysfunctional family, but what family wasn’t?
Suzanne was over her chicken aversion, and there was cold fried chicken left over from dinner. I handed Tanner a leg and took one for myself. I don’t know why food always tasted better after sex, but it did. Flavors, textures, smells, everything was heightened. That chicken leg was the best I’d ever eaten. Tanner followed it up with a chocolate cupcake. I only had three bites of one before I was full. He polished off the rest of mine and a big glass of milk.
“Did you like watching?” he asked.
“Yeah. You?”
“Hell yeah.” He paused. “What about when I was rubbing on you? Was that okay?”
“It was great. It made me think… well, it felt like if you’d gone further we could have maybe… I mean if you wanted to, I don’t know if you’re into….”
“Anal sex?” Tanner was so much more straightforward than I could ever be.
“Yes. Are you?”
“Dunno. I’ve never done it.”
“You mean you and Paul….”
Tanner’s face darkened, but he stayed calm. “No. Tried once, and I couldn’t relax enough, so it hurt. Never tried again after that.”
“He tried to top?”
“Yeah.”
“You were okay with that?” I couldn’t imagine Tanner as a bottom. Actually, I could, in my mind, but not in reality.
“I was willing to try. I didn’t know what I liked. I’m still not sure. But I’d like to try with you. Both ways.”
“Really?”
“If you want.”
“You mean you on top sometimes and me on top others?” I didn’t even know that was an option.
“Hey, if you’re not comfortable—”
“No,” I said, waving a hand to stop him. “I’ll try anything you want. Seriously. Anything.” I moved toward him and kissed him hard, locking my hands in his hair. “Anything.”
He stared straight into my eyes, serious and intense, but the wheels were clearly turning behind the darkness. His lips curled into his crooked grin. “I like the sound of that.”
He kissed me back, slow and lingering. I almost didn’t hear the footsteps padding toward the kitchen.
“Shhh, we’ll wake everyone.”
Maggie came around the corner with Dex right behind her, and they both jumped and yelled when they saw us.
“Jesus, fuck,” Dex said. “Way to give your roommates a coronary.”
“Bad boys,” Maggie scolded. “You’d better not have eaten all the chicken.”
“No,” Tanner said, giving Dex the coldest look I’d ever seen him give anyone. “There’s still plenty of chicken.”
“We were just heading up to bed.” I gave Tanner a nudge toward the door. His jaw clenched, but he followed.
“You still think we shouldn’t tell Wendy?” I whispered as we climbed the stairs.
“Yeah.”
I hoped he was right.
D
OROTHY
’
S WAS closed on Mondays and Oz was usually quiet that night, so Mondays were most often our common day off. We’d taken to spending them at the beach, then heading home to grill, usually with a group of friends. More and more I’d noticed that Amy, a summer resident from the next town over, had been making a point to be on our beach on Mondays.
Tanner had introduced us and was up front about the fact that we were a couple, but I could tell Amy didn’t care. Not about me, at least. All she cared about was Tanner. She’d scan the crowd if she didn’t know where he was, and once she found him, she’d be by his side every second he’d let her.
I’d never seen him do anything to lead her on. Not really. He was chatty and funny with everyone. But the way Amy looked at him? The grin that crossed her face whenever he paid her the least bit of attention? The way she leaned her body toward his when they talked and used any excuse to touch him? She was interested in way more than his witty repartee. She wanted
him
. And from everything I’d seen, she wasn’t afraid to go after him.
Tanner was busy chatting with Bryan while they stacked coals in the Weber on our deck. Amy had followed us home for dinner for the second week in a row. She stood next to them holding the box of matches, like this was a job that required a special assistant. I couldn’t hear what Tanner was saying, but pretty much anytime he opened his mouth, Amy giggled and her free hand went to his arm or shoulder. My nostrils flared, and I looked away.
Wendy sat down next to me, bumping her hip against mine to scoot me over on the picnic bench. “Don’t let little Gigi over there mess with your head.”
“Gigi?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
“GG—Gabby and Grabby. I always forget her real name. Allie? Annie?”
“Amy?”
“Yeah, that’s it. I prefer GG. It’s easier to remember. And way more accurate.”
I had to agree. “She’s pretty forward.”
“Pretty forward? Every time she’s here, I expect her to suggest spin the bottle, then tape the bottle to Tanner’s leg.”
I laughed. “She’s not that bad.”
“Trust me, I know women. She’s worse.”
My stomach churned. Wendy knew Tanner better than pretty much anyone else. Her opinion mattered to me. I took a deep breath. “Do you think he… I mean is she his… type?”
Wendy’s lips pulled into a frown as she studied Tanner and Amy. My heart sank with each passing second. I’d hoped for an instant response of “no way” or “you’re his type”—instead she sighed.
“If he wasn’t with you, maybe.”
She might as well have punched me in the stomach. It must have shown on my face because she quickly shook her head. “That didn’t come out right. I just meant she’s pretty. It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter. He is with you. She’s a non-issue. She’s just annoying to watch.”
I nodded, trying to believe what she just said. The sound of Amy’s giggling seemed to crawl under my skin. I didn’t want to hear it anymore so I grabbed a soda and headed down the path to the beach. Dinner wasn’t something I was in the mood for anymore.
I walked for a short way, then sat down, watching the surf. The sun was setting, and the sky was pink and purple, making the water glow like it was fake.
“Hey, Collin. Food’s almost ready.” Tanner was only feet behind me.
“Oh, thanks. Not that hungry.”
He sat down next to me. “You all right? Wendy told me you went for a walk. I got the feeling it wasn’t for exercise.”
That just made me feel stupid. I liked Wendy, but sometimes I wished she’d mind her own business. Which was, I guess, part of the reason I went along with Tanner’s insistence that we not tell her about Dex’s extracurricular activities with Maggie.
“I’m fine.”
“Okay.” Tanner stood up and took a few steps back toward the house. Then he turned around. “I’ll save you some food.”
I nodded and looked back at the water, then took a sip of soda and noticed he was still standing there. “What?” I asked.
“How come you didn’t tell me Maggie hit on you?”
The mouthful of soda surged high enough in my mouth to tickle the back of my nose. “How did you find out about that?”
“That’s not an answer.”
Shit. “I don’t know. I didn’t think it was important.”
“But it’s important when someone flirts with me?”
My shoulders knotted, and I shifted to try to loosen them. “It’s… I don’t know. It’s different. I’m not into girls.”
“So because I’m bi, I’m not trustworthy?” His jaw muscles twitched. I could tell he was trying not to be angry, but his face betrayed him.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Well, that’s what it seems like. What if it was the other way around?”
“What do you mean?” I fiddled with the metal tab on my Coke.
“What if some guy made a move on you? Would you tell me that? You’re into guys. Would that be something I should be concerned about?”
I snorted.
Like that’s ever going to happen.
“No.”
“No, you wouldn’t tell me? Or no, I shouldn’t be concerned?”
His eyes were getting a buggy look to them I hadn’t seen before. “No. I mean, yes. I might tell you, but no, it’s not something you should worry about.”
“Why’s that?”
My stomach rolled. Talking about feelings still didn’t come easily. “Because I’m not interested in anyone else.”
“Well, neither am I.”
“Good.”
Tanner’s expression softened, and the tension started to ebb from my shoulders. I hated arguing with him. “Speaking of people being interested in other people, is it just me, or was Maggie all over Dex this morning?”
“I don’t know if I’d say ‘all over.’”
“I would. She was practically in his lap all through breakfast.”
I had seen her wrestling with him for the half-and-half and then smashing a strawberry into his mouth. “Maybe she’s that flirty with everyone. He is the only straight guy in the house.”
“Maybe.” Tanner’s eyebrows drew together, and I could tell he was worried.
“Did you ever ask Wendy if they have their special arrangement over the summer?”
Tanner shook his head. “They don’t. She said since she’s out here every weekend, they didn’t need it.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” He paused, and I could see the wheels turning in his head.
“Have you changed your mind about giving her a heads-up?” I kind of hoped he had.
“I worry about her—you know?”
“I know.” The idea of someone hurting Wendy didn’t sit well with me either. I wasn’t as close with her as Tanner, but she’d been really nice to me. Not to mention that she was the only person who seemed to really support me and Tanner being together. Plus no one deserved to be cheated on. Having a deal about seeing other people was one thing, doing it when there was no such deal was another thing entirely. Dex was so laid-back, I had a hard time imagining him summoning the energy to chase after someone, but Maggie was aggressive. That I’d seen firsthand. And Dex didn’t seem to have the ability to say no. Which sucked.
“I could tell her,” I said. “That way if she gets mad, it’s just at me.”
Tanner smiled. “You’re only saying that because you’ve never seen her mad.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” He laughed and ran his hands through his hair. “And I know you’re serious. Thanks for offering. I still don’t think we should say anything. We don’t even know for a fact they’re fucking. Right?”
“True.” They could be watching movies in his room. All we’d really seen them do was kiss.
“Let’s go grab some dinner. I’m starving.” He held out his hand, and I took it. He pulled me up, then linked his fingers with mine as we walked back to the house.
Amy’s eyes lit up the second she saw us approaching the house, and then they drifted down to our hands. Her face darkened, and she busied herself stirring potato salad. I squeezed Tanner’s hand tighter, and he gave me a quick kiss before letting go.
J
ASON
’
S FACE was so pinched and furrowed, I knew something was wrong the second I laid eyes on him. He was behind the prep counter plating dishes for the crab cakes, fried calamari, and whatever tonight’s special seafood app was going to be. Smoked salmon, if I were to guess, based on the piles of capers he was balancing on each of the square plates.
I tied my apron, folded it over, and stuck my check holder into the waist. “Have you seen my corkscrew?”
Jason nodded. “Sharon took it. She snapped hers last night. Here, I brought you my extra.” He fished around in his pocket and came out with a shiny silver corkscrew, nicer than the one I used to use.
“Thanks. I’ll pick one up tomorrow so I can give it back.”
Jason wiped the back of his hand over his forehead. “Just keep it, okay? It’s a corkscrew, not a fucking engagement ring.”
Whoa.
I’d seen Jason in a bunch of different moods, but I’d never seen him quite so on edge. I helped him move the salad plates to the service fridge. When we finished, I followed him to the napkin-folding station. He usually talked nonstop, but he stayed silent.
I waited until he focused on getting the silverware lined up just right to ask, “What’s going on with you today?”
A cross between sadness and defeat flashed behind his eyes. “Family bullshit. I keep telling myself that after three years it shouldn’t get to me anymore, but it still does.”
Good to know. It had only been three months for me, and it definitely still got to me. Looked like I had years of the same thing in my future. Fan-fucking-tastic. “You want to tell me what happened?”