Moments of Clarity (10 page)

“And Sammy?”

“Sammy ended up staying in jail for three months because he had a few priors. They were petty crimes, but he was a teenager. My foster parents didn't show up at his court date so that didn't help. When he got out he was harder than when he went in.”

“What happened to you?”

“The judge let me off with a warning. He pointed his finger at me and said that he better not ever see me in his court again. After that I kept my distance, especially from Sammy. I had a moment of clarity about him when I was locked up waiting for Dad to come and bail me out. Sometimes it's hard to see people for what they really are and to realize that there are people in this world who want to do you harm because of jealousy or because they think that you have the chance of something wonderful happening in your life.”

“So you never hear from them? I mean your foster brothers?”

“I occasionally hear from Kendall. He's a construction worker in Brooklyn and married with two kids.”

“Where is Sammy?” Sasha asked, even though she was fearful of his answer.

Sexton said flatly, “He was killed over five years ago in a gang fight. He was protecting his turf.”

“That's very sad.” Sasha put her arm protectively around Sexton's waist.

“I have never told anyone that story before,” he said quietly.

“Don't worry,” Sasha promised, “I won't tell anyone.”

“That's not it,” Sexton shrugged. “It's just that I've never talked about it. I don't even think about that time of my life anymore. My parents made me feel wanted from the very first day I went to live with them. They sat me down and we had a family meeting. It was the first of many. They told me that they chose to make me a part of their family because they saw something special in me. Dad said that where you are born is by chance, but where you end up is by choice.”

Chapter 8

Sexton swaggered down the street after leaving Sasha's loft, taking no notice of the numerous women trying to catch his eye. As he stopped in front of a newspaper stand to buy a paper, he suddenly felt a finger tapping him on his shoulder. Turning around, he was surprised to see Tiara.

Her body looked gaunt and there were dark circles under her eyes. Trying to mask his surprise, he gave her a small hug. “What are you doing in the city?”

“Oh, I had to go down to the school board and drop off my references. In order to teach, I have to start from scratch on all of my paperwork. It's so frustrating.”

Sexton felt a tug of sympathy for her and said encouragingly, “In the end, you'll be okay, Tiara. You know what they say, it's always darkest before the dawn.”

“When is the dawn?” she asked softly.

Sexton was silent for a moment and then said, “It comes when you least expect it.”

Tiara said, abruptly, “Where are you coming from?”

He replied without hesitation, “Sasha's. We went out to dinner last night.”

Sexton was unaware that when he spoke her name there was a twinkle in his eye that Stevie Wonder could have seen.

“The look you have on your face is the one that my husband used to have when he talked about me, and look what he did.”

Sexton hesitated, thinking about how to address her remark. “It's a bad thing that he did to you, Tiara. But try not to let it color the way that you feel about all men. The right one is out there for you, just be patient.”

“I know you're right.” She pointed to the café across the street. “Would you like to sit for a while? I'm feeling kind of lonely.”

Sexton hesitated for a second and glanced at his watch, but noticing the despondent droop of Tiara's mouth he agreed. “Okay, just for a minute or so.”

Sexton cupped her elbow as he guided her across the busy street. Once they were seated Tiara eyed Sexton and said, “So I guess you and my girl Sasha are really hooking up now?”

“Sure, Sasha's tight,” he finished with a smile.

Then Tiara said in a warning tone, “You don't know how high maintenance she can be.”

“I'm not worried about that,” he responded.

“But the man is supposed to be in charge.” Tiara gave Sexton a flirtatious look from under her eyelashes.

Sexton gave Tiara a sharp look. “I've had enough simpering women to last me a lifetime. Anyhow, it's not about being in charge. A good man doesn't have to strong-arm his woman.” Feeling the need to change the conversation, Sexton picked up the newspaper he had purchased. “I need to check the stock market and see if I made or lost money last night.”

Tiara grimaced and said, “At least you have money to lose. Since my split, I'm pretty much destitute.”

Sexton cleared his throat. “Calvin sort of mentioned that to me. I thought that he was going to cover your mortgage for a while.”

“He is, and I appreciate that. But it's still not enough.” One lone tear fell from her eye and she brushed it away with the back of her hand. “The school board said that because I didn't give enough notice when I quit to get married that my former principal gave me a bad end-of-the-year evaluation. It's on my permanent record, and I'm going to have to substitute teach for a whole year in order to clear up my bad performance review.” Suddenly she said, “Damn!” She angrily banged her fist on the table. “This is all Peter's fault.” Then her anger turned into a flood of tears. “I'm going to lose my SUV and my lights will be shut off in a couple of days if I don't pay the bill.”

Sexton waited calmly for the deluge to stop. “Tiara, let me help out until you can get on your feet.”

“I can't let you do that. It's too embarrassing.” She sniffled, looking down at some invisible object on their table.

Sexton attempted to comfort her and tightly gripped her hand. “No one needs to know. I won't even tell Calvin.”

“I can't,” she said, averting her eyes from his. “We don't know each other like that.”

“I don't have a way to fix your broken heart, but I can ease your money situation until you can get on your feet. Don't let pride get in the way of common sense, Tiara. How much money do you need a month to cover your bills?”

Tiara didn't say anything for a minute and Sexton could tell that she was calculating bills in her head.

“About five thousand a month.” Her voice was low and she avoided his eyes.

Sexton reached in his pocket and pulled out his checkbook. He wrote a check out and signed it with a flourish. Handing it to her he said, “This should cover you for six months. Hopefully you will have resolved things by then.”

Tiara slowly took the check. “Sexton, I don't know how I will ever repay you,” she stammered.

“You don't have to repay me. It's a gift. Now I need to go before I'm late for practice.”

With a satisfied smile, Tiara watched him cross the street and jump into his Escalade.

* * *

Sexton parked his car in the Madison Square Garden parking lot and walked past the many vendors selling their wares out of small booths. His eye was caught by a display of stuffed animals. A plush gorilla held a bright yellow banana in its hand. As he halted his steps to study it the vendor smiled at him, and eager to make a sale said, “It talks.” He pressed the middle of the gorilla's stomach. ‘I'm bananas about you' was repeated several times before the gorilla began to gurgle with laughter.

“How much?” Sexton asked, smiling.

“Twenty dollars.”

Sexton handed him a twenty dollar bill and watched as the salesman placed the gorilla in a large bag.

He was standing at the receptionist's desk in the front lobby scribbling a note on New York Knicks stationary when Stefan strode through the doors. Sexton beckoned him over and said, “What are you getting ready to do?”

“Not too much, just passing time.”

“Do you remember where Calvin's sister had you pick her friend up?”

“Sure, it was 119th Street.”

“Do you mind delivering this to her? She should be at home.”

“Not at all.”

“Thanks, bud,” Sexton said handing him a folded bill. “For your troubles.”

* * *

Sasha walked out of the bathroom to stand in front of the dresser mirror with a towel wrapped around her body. She let the towel drop and examined her image. She had a blue mark on the side of her neck and one just below her collarbone.

Last night Sexton had explored every inch of her body. Never before had she felt so sexy or desired by a man. Sexton was a thorough lover, and they had fallen asleep exhausted, their bodies intertwined.

Just then she heard her doorbell ring. Annoyed at having her walk down memory lane interrupted, she went to her closet and pulled out a silk bathrobe. Padding barefoot down the hallway she shouted, “Who is it?”

“It's Tiara.”

Sasha sucked her teeth with irritation, but masked it before she opened the door and beckoned Tiara in with a smile.

“Hi, Tiara. You're lucky you caught me at home. What are you doing on this side of town?”

“I had some business to take care of,” Tiara answered.

“Take a seat. I put a pot of coffee on a little while ago and it should be ready by now.”

“Sounds great.” They sat at the breakfast table and Sasha grimaced as she turned in her seat.

“What's the matter with you?”

“I'm a little sore from my nocturnal activities.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Sexton was over last night.”

Tiara said teasingly, “When your man leaves, you're not supposed to be feeling all bruised. You're supposed to feel all limbered up.”

“It's a good kind of bruising, if you know what I mean.” Sasha moved her eyebrows up and down at Tiara meaningfully.

“Is that a hickey on your neck? Don't you think that's a little tacky?”

“It's not as if he was gnawing on it. My skin is easy to mark.”

“If a man really has it going on in bed, he doesn't need to bother with all that nonsense.”

Sasha shot Tiara a look of annoyance. “You've developed quite the acidic tongue. Don't let your experience with Peter change you.”

“My experience hasn't changed me,” Tiara denied. “I just think that hickeys are juvenile.”

“For your information, Sexton didn't spend all of his time on my neck. But you have heard of foreplay, haven't you? That was just the appetizer before he went in for the main course.” Sasha didn't attempt to hide her irritation at Tiara's obvious cattiness.

Tiara continued to be argumentative. “Well it's been my experience that when a man takes the time to put a hickey on your neck, it ain't all that.”

“Well, with Sexton it is all that. Sexton is so good it makes me want to holler. As a matter of fact, I do holler.” Then Sasha was taken aback by the venomous look of envy that flashed across Tiara's face. “My goodness, Tiara! I do believe you're jealous.”

Tiara didn't respond, and the silence in the breakfast nook was deafening. Then she said in a contrite voice, “I'm sorry, Sasha. I suppose what you're seeing is partly from frustration. As you can probably guess, I haven't had any since Peter decided to share himself.”

Sasha sat quietly and the air hung heavy between them.

“I didn't expect my life to end up like this.”

Sasha leaned towards her earnestly. “This is not the end of your life. You're barely thirty. There are other men out there, Tiara. Let me see if I can get Sexton to introduce you to someone.”

Tiara shook her head. “It's too soon. Meeting new men is hard and I'm not ready.”

“I hope that you're not still thinking about Peter.” The words shot out of her mouth before she stopped to think. Too late she remembered the advice Sexton had given her.

“I know that's not possible. Even if in time I could forgive him for what he did, the way he left me in the lurch with our finances was like driving two stakes through my heart.”

“Have you figured out what you're going to do about that?” Sasha's concern showed in her expression.

Tiara stared Sasha straight in the eye. “Don't worry about that anymore. I think that I have all my bases covered.”

The doorbell rang and, as Sasha got up to go answer it, Tiara also stood and followed her to the door saying, “That's my cue to leave. I have a list of things to take care of before I start subbing on Monday.”

When Tiara opened the door and saw the Knicks chauffer standing on the threshold she said in astonishment, “Stefan, how are you doing?”

He replied, “Very well.” Smiling at the two women he handed the bag to her dramatically.

After Sasha took it, Stefan gave a courtly bow and said, “From your not-so-secret admirer.” With that he turned and left.

Sasha reached into the bag and pulled out the gorilla and exclaimed, “Oh my goodness, he's so cute.” She pressed the tag in the middle of its stomach that smiled as she listened to its speech.

Tiara reached into the bag and handed Sasha the note. “I can guess who it's from.”

Sasha read the note silently and, unbeknownst to her, a dreamy smile settled on her lips.

“What does the note say?” Tiara demanded with narrowed eyes.

Sasha carefully tucked the note in the side pocket of her robe. After examining Tiara's face she decided to say only, “He'll see me in a couple of days.”

After Tiara left, Sasha sat on side of the bed that Sexton had lain on the night before, and as she gently moved the palm of her hand across the sheets, she reread the words: “Seizing the moment can lead to true happiness if you let it. See you in a couple of days, Sexton.”

As she cleaned her apartment that day, every time she walked past the gorilla she pressed its stomach.

* * *

Sasha's desk at work was cluttered with the usual end of the month stuff. There was the monthly budget book for her unit, notes with requests for days off from her staff members, and messages from doctors with complaints ranging from A to Z.

Out of frustration she took off her nurse's cap and sat with her head sandwiched between the palms of her hands. The ringing of her cellphone prodded her into action. She opened up the bottom drawer and pulled it out. Looking at the number displayed on the panel, she tried to sound nonchalant as she said, “This is Sasha.”

Sexton's voice was its usual huskiness, and he sounded as if he was standing in front of her instead of on the West Coast. “Hello. This is Sexton. How are you doing?”

“I'm good. I saw the game last night. You were great!”

“So you think I did the best that I could with ten minutes, do you?”

“I was riveted,” she replied teasingly.

“I would have called you last night after the game, but I was afraid that I would wake you up.”

“Never worry about that. I'm used working different shifts here at the hospital. If you did wake me up I could drift back to sleep in a New York minute.”

Sexton chuckled and said, “I'll remember that for future reference.”

“Thank you for the gorilla. I absolutely love it. Whatever made you think of doing that?”

“I remember whenever my dad would surprise my mother with stuff like that it made her day.” Then he laughed. “It would make Teddy's and my day, too. Mom would make him an extra good dinner. When I was a kid I loved smothered pork chops and succotash with rice and biscuits. Dad would be whistling as he headed to the shower before we sat down to eat.”

Sexton sounded nostalgic as he reminisced. “Mom didn't really like us to spend the night over at our friends' houses because she didn't want us to make a nuisance of ourselves, but if she was ever going to say yes, that was the time to ask. She would want to get rid of us so she could thank Dad without us hearing them,” he laughed. “Teddy and I knew to watch for certain signs, and we learned when to ask for stuff.”