Moments of Julian (28 page)

“
You sure?” he says. “Once
you’ve done it, there’s no undoing it.”

I bite my lower lip and
nod.

A smile curls on Julian’s face. “Come
on, I know the perfect place.

Six minutes later, we are
parked in front of a building with neon lights blaring the
words
Living Ink.

“
You ready?” Julian asks
me one more time.

My heart is pounding, but it is with
equal measures of nervousness and excitement. I nod and climb out
of the car.

“
Julian!” a man with long
dark hair and slightly Native American looking features calls
jubilantly when we enter. “Here for some fresh ink? Haven’t had
enough of the needle yet?”

“
Never,” Julian says with
a grin as he shakes the man’s hand. “Sage, this is Doug. He’s been
my artist ever since I moved to Bellevue.”

“
You should have seen the
messes I fixed from his days in New Mexico,” Doug says with a
grimace and a shiver.

“
I was in college,” Julian
says, his voice exasperated and sarcastic sounding. “I was supposed
to make bad decisions then.”

Doug gives a full hearted laugh. “So
who is this ravishing woman you’ve yet to introduce me
to?”

“
This is the terrifying
Sage McCain,” Julian says proudly as he looks at me. I feel out of
place wearing a seven hundred dollar dress in a tattoo parlor. “And
she’s the real reason we’re here today.”

“
Alright,” Doug says
excitedly and claps his hands. “Any idea what you want today? If
not I’ve got plenty of idea books.”

I feel sheepish and reckless that I do
not know what I want yet. “Those books would be a great idea,” I
say quietly.

“
You sure she’s
terrifying?” Doug asks with a wink. “Seems a little skittish to
me.”

Julian takes my hand in his. “Just
first time ink nerves.”

“
You’ve brought me a
virgin?” Doug’s voice is ecstatic. “This is a rare opportunity and
as your first, I am honored.”

“
Don’t get too carried
away, sir,” I say with a smirk as he hands me a huge binder. He
gives me another wink and Julian and I sink onto a sketchy looking
couch.

We hold the book between us and flip
slowly through pages. There are infinity symbols and hearts and
different fonts for words. Animals and floral patterns. A whole
section of tribal ink.

“
Does that one look
familiar?” Julian asks as he points out a picture of a series of
moons. I immediately recognize them as the tattoos down his right
side.

“
Who could resist taking a
picture of such an alluring model?” I say as I turn the page,
trying to suppress a smile.

“
Maybe I should switch
careers and start asking Kale for advice,” he says as he elbows me
in the side. “Would that mean I get to move in with you
too?”

“
Only if you’re willing to
give up that P1 whatever car you’re terrified of driving,” I raise
an eyebrow at him.

But my blood jumps to life thinking of
the possibility of actually living with Julian. To never have to
say goodnight or goodbye.

To finally break that rule I gave
myself so many years ago.

I turn the page and everything in me
stills.

“
That’s the one,” I
say.

Maybe it’s the fact that everything
has seemed so perfect the last few days, or my trail of thoughts
the last few moments, but there is a prickle at the back of my
eyes.

Julian looks over at me, his
expression hopeful but uncertain.

“
That’s the one,” I say
before he can ask me once again if I’m sure. “If you’re okay with
it.”

Julian glances at the desk Doug was
sitting at and finds we have privacy.

Something shifts in Julian’s
expression. It is strong as steel and warm as summer on the
beach.

I realize then that this thing between
Julian and I is rare. We haven’t epically changed each other. We
are generally the same people we were when we first met. But as my
dad said all those weeks ago, relationships are about finding
someone who makes you stronger when they are by your
side.

Dad was right. And Julian is my other
half.

“
Yeah,” he breathes. “I’m
okay with it.”

“
Okay,” I say. A smile
curls on my lips. “Hey Doug!” He comes from the back room. “Looks
like you’ve get to ink Julian tonight after all.”

“
Alright!” he says with a
coy grin. “Who wants to go first?”

“
Julian,” I say without a
second’s hesitation. He bursts into laughter. But he simply stands
and starts unbuttoning his suit jacket, followed by his tie and
shirt.

“
I like this arrangement,”
I say as I lean back and cross my legs. I like any moment when
Julian is shirtless.

He winks at me before turning and
sitting in Doug’s chair.

I watch closely as Doug puts the
needle to Julian’s right breast. Julian doesn’t flinch once. He
holds my hand throughout the whole process, but not for his own
comfort benefit. His eyes jump from the tattoo in process of
creation to my face.

I’m sure I’m white as a sheet, but I’m
not changing my mind.

“
Please don’t pass out on
me,” Julian laughs, but his eyes say that he’s genuinely scared I
might.

“
I’m not that much of a
wuss,” I defend myself, squeezing his hand hard.

“
No, she’s terrifying,
remember?” Doug teases.

“
That’s right. Don’t you
ever forget it,” I say.

Finally, Julian is done. I snap a
picture with my phone just before Doug applies a
bandage.

Julian bears a fresh, intricate
heart-shaped lock just above his own heart.

“
You ready?” he asks as he
climbs out of the chair.

My heart is threatening to pound out
of my chest and my hands are sweaty. But I nod my head and trade
places with him. I’m so nervous that I’m not even worried about
peeling my dress down to my waist and sitting there exposed in my
strapless bra in front of Doug.

I grip Julian’s hand in mine and try
to tell myself not to break it.

“
Just try to relax,” Doug
says as he hovers above my chest for just a moment.

Instead, I take a deep breath and
squeeze my eyes closed.

A small scream leaps from my lips as
the sting bites into my flesh. Both Julian and Doug give amused
laughs.

“
This isn’t funny,” I say
through a chuckle of my own. “How many hours have you spent
enduring this torture?”

“
You get used to it after
a while,” Julian says. He’s pressing a hand to his mouth, but I see
the edges of his lips curling behind it.

“
Don’t be a baby,” Doug
teases me.

“
Did he really just call
me a baby?” I say in offense.

“
You really don’t want to
call her a baby,” Julian says, shaking his head.

“
Hmm,” Doug says as he
continues torturing me. “Maybe she does have a little fight in her
after all.”

“
Seriously, don’t mess
with her,” Julian eggs the situation on. “She’s sent no less than
six guys to jail.”

Doug gives an impressed raise of his
eyebrow and a nod.

“
For some reason I didn’t
scare this one away,” I say with a smirk as I look up at
Julian.

“
You two must be pretty
serious if you’re already getting couple’s tattoos,” Doug says as
he ignores my cringing and continues to attack my skin with speed
and skill. “How long has Julian been your boyfriend?”

I squeeze my eyes as another wave of
pain brings the sting of tears to my eyes. “Truth be told, I
absolutely hate the term boyfriend,” I confess, my eyes still
screwed shut tight. “It makes me feel like I’m back in high school.
It makes me feel like a girl.”

And for a very short while, James
Theodore, who set me up for a group rape, held that
title.

“
What would you like to
call him instead?” Doug asks as he keeps at it, never once looking
up.

I open my eyes and Julian is staring
at me intently.

There is a long moment where we just
look at each other.

Every perfect moment we’ve spent
together floods through my veins. I remember the first night we
met, when Julian asked to make sure he wasn’t wasting my time with
me. How he said he was sure whatever happened between us going to
be fairly epic.

I can see the gears in Julian’s head
spinning rapidly and his breath stops. Something cosmic and grand
forms in his eyes and I can feel it reflected in my own.

“
I said I wanted to do
something crazy tonight,” I say quietly.

Julian stands, keeping my hand in his.
He looks down at me for a long moment and I can feel us
skyrocketing toward an explosive finale.

He shifts his weight and drops to one
knee.

“
Do something crazy with
me Sage McCain,” he says, a coy smile curling on his face. His eyes
are alive and intense.

It takes me a second to realize the
buzz of the ink gun has stopped and Doug has rolled back in his
chair to give us a bit of space.

“
Let’s do the thing that
is craziest and makes the most sense here. Sage, I don’t just want
you to call me your boyfriend, although it’s a nice upgrade from
the dot, dot, dot,” he says with a chuckle. I smile too, but a
moment later, Julian is serious once again. “Someday, I want you to
call me your husband,” his voice is breathy and airy, like he’s
been holding this confession in for a while and is amazed that he’s
getting the opportunity to speak it. “And I don’t want to have to
call you Sage McCain forever. I can’t wait to hold Sage Dohring in
my arms.”

My heart which has been racing the
last few moments has calmed and grows steady and sure.

This is insane. This is crazy. Me, who
is so head strong, has found a way to let her defenses fall. She’s
let her heart open back up.

“
I love you, Julian,” I
say. “It’s been true for a long time. But I figure I should say it
at least once before we do something too crazy.”

He laughs and his eyes drop away for
an endearing moment. But then they fix on mine again and are bright
and beautiful. “I love you, Sage. I think I have from the moment I
sat across from you quite by chance at that banquet.”

A smile spreads on my face and I can’t
help the delighted laugh that bubbles out of my chest.

Julian bears his own smile and his
eyes stare intently at me.

“
I get so damn tired of
not being with you every moment,” he says in a low voice. “Will you
do something totally crazy and something that makes absolute sense
to me? Sage McCain, will you marry me?”

A coy smile curls on my lips. There is
a hurricane building up inside of me and it is glorious and
powerful. It is something that will wreck and destroy anything that
dares to get in its way.

“
You bet your ass I
will.”

That night, I walk out of a tattoo
parlor with an elaborate key tattooed on my right breast. Julian
bears the lock.

He may be the one who bears the heart
on his skin, but he will always be the key to my own.

CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX

THREE MONTHS LATER

“
I swear these girls have
doubled in size since we left,” Julian says as he bounces baby
Quinn gently in his arms. I can agree as I rock Afton.

“
You guys
were
gone for two
weeks,” Drake says as he closely watches us with the
twins.

“
I’m still slightly
grossed out letting you touch my children just hours after coming
off your honeymoon,” Kaylee says with a cringe. “Have you two like,
even showered yet?”

“
Oh my gosh,” I say with a
roll of my eyes. “I hate this family sometimes.”

“
I swear I can smell s-e-x
on the both of you,” Drake wrinkles his nose as he spells out the
word to protect little ears that are running around Mom and Dad’s
house.

“
Wow, I chose to join this
family?” Julian says in mock disbelief as he hands Quinn back to
Kaylee when she starts fussing. “What was I thinking, choosing to
put up with this ridicule?”

“
You were thinking you
wanted to bone my sister,” Kale says casually as he wanders out of
the bathroom and into the kitchen. He is, of course, without a
shirt.

“
Okay,” I say as I hand
Afton off to Drake and stand. “It’s obvious you all are going to be
completely unbearable to be around for a few months, so I think
my
husband
and I
are going to go.” I reach for Julian’s hand and pull him up from
the couch.

“
You two leaving already?”
Mom asks, darting out of the kitchen. “But you’ve all just barely
gotten back.”