Monkey (32 page)

‘Brother, if he isn’t your father-in-law,’ said Pigsy, ‘why did you make me carry him ? It has been tiring work for me, I can tell you that!’

When Tripitaka and Sandy examined the body, and saw that the Emperor looked just like a live man, Tripitaka suddenly burst into lamentation. ‘Alas, poor Emperor,’ he cried, ‘in some forgotten existence you doubtless did great wrong to one that in this incarnation has now confounded you, and brought you to destruction. You were torn from wife and child; none of your generals or counsellors knew, none of your officers were aware. Alas, for the blindness of your queen
and prince that offered no incense, no tea to your soul!’ Here he broke down, and his tears fell like rain.

‘Master,’ said Pigsy, ‘what does it matter to you that he is dead? He is not your father or grandfather, why should you wail over him ?’

‘Disciple,’ said Tripitaka, ‘for us who are followers of Buddha compassion is the root, indulgence the gate. Why is your heart so hard ?’

‘It isn’t that my heart is hard,’ said Pigsy. ‘But Brother Monkey tells me he can bring him to life. If he fails I am certainly not going to cart him about any more.’

Now Tripitaka, being by nature pliable as water, was easily moved by that fool’s story. ‘Monkey,’ he said, ‘if you can indeed bring this Emperor back to life, you will be doing what matters more than that we should reach the Holy Mountain and worship the Buddha. They say “To save one life is better than to build a seven-storeyed pagoda.”‘

‘Master,’ said Monkey, ‘do you really believe this fool’s wild talk? When a man is dead, in three times seven, five times seven, or at the end of seven hundred days, when he has done penance for his sins in the World of Light, his turn comes to be born again. This king has been dead for three years. How can he possibly be saved ?’

‘I expect we had better give up the idea,’ said Tripitaka, when he heard this.

But Pigsy was not to be cheated of his revenge. ‘Don’t let him put you off,’ he said to Tripitaka. ‘Remember, his head is very susceptible. You have only to recite that stuff of yours, and I guarantee that he’ll turn the king into a live man.’

Tripitaka accordingly did recite the headache spell, and it gripped so tight that Monkey’s eyes started out of his head, and he suffered frightful pain.

If you do not know whether in the end this king was brought to life, you must listen to what is unfolded in the next chapter.

T
HE
pain in that great Monkey Sage’s head was so severe that at last he could bear it no longer and cried piteously, ‘Master, stop praying, stop praying! I’ll doctor him.’

‘How will you do it ?’ asked Tripitaka.

‘The only way is to visit Yama, King of Death, in the Land of Darkness, and get him to let me have the king’s soul,’ said Monkey.

‘Don’t believe him, Master,’ said Pigsy. ‘He told me there was no need to go to the Land of Darkness. He said he knew how to cure him here and now, in the World of Light.’

Tripitaka believed this wicked lie, and began praying again; and Monkey was so harassed that he soon gave in. ‘All right, all right,’ he cried. ‘I’ll cure him in the World of Light.’

‘Don’t stop,’ said Pigsy. ‘Go on praying as hard as you can.’

‘You ill-begotten idiot,’ cursed Monkey, ‘I’ll pay you out for making the Master put a spell upon me.’

Pigsy laughed till he fell over. ‘Ho, ho, brother,’ he cried, ‘you thought it was only on me that tricks could be played. You didn’t think that I could play a trick on you.’

‘Master, stop praying,’ said Monkey, ‘and let me cure him in the World of Light.’

‘How can that be done ?’ asked Tripitaka.

‘I will rise on my cloud trapeze,’ said Monkey, ‘and force my way into the southern gate of Heaven. I shall not go to the Palace of the Pole and Ox, nor to the Hall of Holy Mists, but go straight up to the thirty-third heaven, and in the Trayasimstra Courtyard of the heavenly palace of Quit Grief I shall visit Lao Tzu and ask for a grain of his Nine Times Sublimated Life Restoring Elixir, and with it I shall bring the king back to life.’

This suggestion pleased Tripitaka very much. ‘Lose no time about it,’ he said.

‘It is only the third watch,’ said Monkey. ‘I shall be back before it is light. But it would look all wrong if the rest of you went quietly to sleep. It is only decent that someone should watch by the corpse and mourn.’

‘You need say no more,’ said Pigsy. ‘I can see that you expect me to act as mourner.’

‘I should like to see you refuse!’ said Monkey. ‘If you don’t act as mourner, I certainly shan’t bring him to life.’

‘Be off, Brother,’ said Pigsy, ‘and I’ll do the mourning.’

‘There are more ways than one of mourning,’ said Monkey. ‘Mere bellowing with dry eyes is no good. Nor is it any better just to squeeze out a few tears. What counts is a good hearty howling, with tears as well. That’s what is wanted for a real, miserable mourning.’

‘I’ll give you a specimen,’ said Pigsy. He then from somewhere or other produced a piece of paper which he twisted into a paper-spill and thrust up his nostrils. This soon set him snivelling and his eyes running, and when he began to howl he kept up such a din that anyone would have thought he had indeed lost his dearest relative. The effect was so mournful that Tripitaka too soon began to weep bitterly.

“That’s what you’ve got to keep up the whole time I’m away,’ said Monkey laughing. ‘What I am frightened of is that this fool, the moment my back is turned, will stop wailing. I shall creep back and listen, and if he shows any sign of leaving off he will get twenty on the paw.’

‘Be off with you,’ laughed Pigsy. ‘I could easily keep this up for two days on end.’

Sandy, seeing that Pigsy had settled down to his job, went off to look for some sticks of incense to burn as an offering. ‘Excellent!’ laughed Monkey. ‘The whole family is engaged in works of piety! Now’s the time for Old Monkey to get to business.’

Dear Monkey! Just at midnight he left his teacher and fellow-disciples, mounted his cloud trapeze and flew in at the southern gate of Heaven. He did not indeed call at the Precious Hall of Holy Mists or go on to the Palace of the Pole and Ox, but only along a path of cloudy light went
straight to the thirty-third heaven, to the Trayaśmstra Courtyard of the heavenly palace of Quit Grief. Just inside the gate he saw Lao Tzu in his alchemical studio, with a number of fairy boys holding banana-leaf fans, and fanning the fire in which the cinnabar was sublimating.

As soon as Lao Tzu saw him coming, he called to the boys, ‘Be careful, all of you. Here’s the thief who stole the elixir come back again.’

Monkey bowed, and said laughing, ‘Reverend Sir, there is no need to be in such a fret. You need take no precautions against me. I have come on quite different business.’

‘Monkey,’ said Lao Tzu, ‘five hundred years ago you made great trouble in the Palace of Heaven, and stole a great quantity of my holy elixir; for which crime you were arrested and placed in my crucible, where you were smelted for forty-nine days, at the cost of I know not how much charcoal. Now you have been lucky enough to obtain forgiveness, enter the service of Buddha, and go with Tripitaka, the priest of T’ang, to get scriptures in India. Some while ago you quelled a demon in the Flat Topped Mountain and tricked disaster, but did not give me my share in the treasure. What brings you here today ?’

‘In those old days,’ said Monkey, ‘I lost no time in returning to you those five treasures of yours. You have no reason to be suspicious of me.’

‘But what are you doing here?’ asked Lao Tzu, ‘creeping into my palace instead of getting on with your journey?’

‘On our way to the west,’ said Monkey, ‘we came to a country called Crow-cock. The king of the country employed a wizard, who had disguised himself as a Taoist, to bring rain. This wizard secretly did away with the king, whose form he assumed, and now he is ensconced in the Hall of Golden Bells. My Master was reading the scriptures in the Treasure Wood Temple, when the soul of the king came to him and earnestly requested that I might be sent to subdue the wizard, and expose his imposture. I felt that I had no proof of the crime, and went with my fellow-disciple Pigsy. We broke into the flower garden by night, and looked for the crystal well into which the king had been thrown. We fished
him up, and found him still sound and fresh. When we got back to the temple and saw Tripitaka, his compassion was aroused and he ordered me to bring the king to life. But I was not to go to the World of Darkness to recover his soul; I must cure him here in the World of Light. I could think of no way but to ask for your help. Would you be so kind as to lend me a thousand of your nine times sublimated life-restoring pills ? Then I shall be able to set him right.’

‘A thousand pills indeed!’ exclaimed Lao Tzu. ‘Why not two thousand? Is he to have them at every meal instead of rice ? Do you think one has only to stoop and pick them up like dirt from the ground ? Shoo! Be off with you! I’ve nothing for you.’

‘I’d take a hundred,’ said Monkey laughing.

‘I dare say,’ said Lao Tzu. ‘But I haven’t any/

‘I’d take ten,’ said Monkey.

‘A curse on this Monkey I’ said Lao Tzu, very angry. ‘Will he never stop haggling ? Be off with you immediately.’

‘If you really haven’t got any,’ said Monkey, ‘I shall have to find some other way of bringing him to life.’

‘Go, go, go 1’ screamed Lao Tzu.

Very reluctantly Monkey turned away. But suddenly Lao Tzu thought to himself: ‘This monkey is very crafty. If he really went away and stayed away, it would be all right. But I am afraid he will slip back again and steal some.’ So he sent a fairy boy to bring Monkey back, and said to him, ‘If you are really so anxious to have some, I’ll spare you just one pill.’

‘Sir,’ said Monkey, ‘if you had an inkling of what I can do if I choose, you would think yourself lucky to go shares in it with me. If you hadn’t given in, I should have come with my dredge and fished up the whole lot.’

Lao Tzu took a gourd-shaped pot and, tilting it up, emptied one grain of elixir and passed it across to Monkey, saying, ‘That’s all you’ll get, so be off with it. And if with this one grain you can bring the king back to life, you are welcome to the credit of it.’

‘Not so fast,’ said Monkey. ‘I must taste it first. I don’t want to be put off with a sham.’ So saying, he tossed it into his
mouth. Lao Tzu rushed forward to stop him, and pressing his fists against his skull-cap he cried in despair, ‘If you swallow it, I shall kill you on the spot!’

‘Revolting meanness,’ said Monkey. ‘Keep calm; no one is eating anything of yours. And how much is it worth, anyhow? It’s pretty wretched stuff, and come to that, I haven’t swallowed it; it’s here.’

For the fact is that monkeys have a pouch under the gullet, and Monkey had stored the grain of elixir in his pouch. Lao Tzu pinched him and said, ‘Be off with you, be off with you, and don’t let me find you hanging round here any more.’ So Monkey took leave of him, and quitted the Trayasimstra Heaven. In a moment he had left by the Southern Gate, and turning eastward he saw the great globe of the sun just mounting. Lowering his cloud-seat, he soon reached the Treasure Wood Temple, where even before he entered the gate he could hear Pigsy still howling. He stepped briskly forward and cried ‘Master’.

‘Is that Monkey?’ said Tripitaka delightedly. ‘Have you got your elixir ?’

‘Certainly,’ said Monkey.

‘What’s the use of asking?’ said Pigsy. ‘You can count on a sneak like that to bring back some trifle that doesn’t belong to him.’

‘Brother,’ laughed Monkey, ‘you can retire. We don’t need you any more. Wipe your eyes, and if you want to do more howling do it elsewhere. And you, Sandy, bring me a little water.’ Sandy hurried out to the well behind the temple, where there was a bucket of water ready drawn. He dipped his bowl into it and brought half a bowlful of water. Monkey filled his mouth with water, and then spat out the elixir into the Emperor’s lips. Next he forced open his jaws, and pouring in some clean water, he floated the elixir down into his belly. In a few moments there was a gurgling sound inside; but the body still did not move. ‘Master,’ said Monkey, ‘what will become of me if my elixir fails? Shall I be beaten to death?’

‘I don’t see how it can fail,’ said Tripitaka. ‘It’s already a miracle that a corpse that has been dead so long can swallow
water. After the elixir entered his belly, we heard the guts ring. When the guts ring, the veins move in harmony. It only remains to get the breath into circulation. But even a piece of iron gets a bit rusty when it has been under water for three years; it is only natural that something of the same kind should happen to a man. All that’s wrong with him is that he needs a supply of breath. If someone puts a mouthful of good breath into him, he would be quite himself again.’

Pigsy at once offered himself for this service, but Tripitaka held him back. ‘You’re no use for that,’ he cried. ‘Let Monkey do it.’ Tripitaka knew what he was talking about. For Pigsy had in his early days eaten living things, and even monstrously devoured human flesh, so that all his stock of breath was defiled. Whereas Monkey had always lived on pine-seeds, cypress cones, peaches, and the like, and his breath was pure.

So Monkey stepped forward, and putting his wide mouth against the Emperor’s lips he blew hard into his throat. The breath went down to the Two-Storeyed Tower, round the Hall of Light, on to the Cinnabar Field, and from the Jetting Spring went back again into the Mud Wall Palace. Whereupon there was a deep panting sound. The king’s humours concentrated, his spirits returned. He rolled over, brandished his fist, and bent his legs. Then with a cry ‘Master!’ he knelt down in the dust and said, ‘Little did I think, when my soul visited you last night, that today at dawn I should again belong to the World of Light!’ Tripitaka quickly raised him from his knees and said, ‘Your Majesty, this is no doing of mine. You must thank my disciple.’