Monsters & Fairytales (44 page)

“What?”

He sat upright and crossed his arms. Was he testing me? Did he think that I was afraid of him? Tears swelled up in my eyes. I resisted the urge to show weakness.

“You pushed me up there. You put your hands on me and pushed me away while you were talking to her.” I said.

“Why are you so jealous?” He laughed.

I was crying. The anger in my arms made the pot shake. It was rattling on the burner. Spike barked. My reflexes made me jump and some grease splashed on my arm. Joe was off the counter in seconds and coddling me.

“I’m sorry, that was nasty of me. You have been through so much
these
past couple days. Heck, you’ve been through enough just today. It’s okay to be stressed out and have an overload of emotions, but it is not okay for me to take advantage of your fragile state and hurt you. I’m sorry.” 

He was right. I hated him for it.

“I deserved some of it, for calling you those things outside of the hospital.” I cried into his shoulder.

“I deserved it, all of it. The only thing I don’t
deserve,
is you.”

I dug into him deeper. I was such a bitch.

“What else is bothering you?” Joe whispered, very softly rubbing my hair back.

He knew me better than I thought. Hopefully, he was just asking about my mom. He knew about her. I wondered how that conversation had gone. I'd let it slip by me at the hospital. That must’ve been something crazy. I could have never been calm about it.

“Nothing.”
I lied.

I pulled back from him and tended the bacon. I couldn’t possibly tell him my thoughts were torturing me over Sebastian. There was this itch that I knew him. It was in the pit of my stomach. It was almost as if I missed him. It freaked me out. Joe was staring at me. I wiped a tear away and turned the burner off.

“Mirabelle.”
He whispered.

It wasn’t a condescending tone but more of a nurturing tone. He was letting me know it was okay. He wasn’t dumb. The words he'd said earlier were
true,
I had been through a lot. I was allowed to let my mind wander away from him. Maybe I was the jealous one. Maybe because I would be upset he’d be thinking of another girl right now, I didn’t want to admit I was thinking of someone else. He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me. His breath on my neck made me dizzy. I was thankful the grease was no longer hot enough to hurt like it did before.
             

Sliding over to put the pan in the sink, Joe moved with me. It was cute in that dorky sort of way. I wanted to ask what he was doing, but I was avoiding acknowledging him. He was going to kiss me. I could feel the air, the tension, the passion, I couldn’t handle that. I was making Spike bacon. That’s all I was doing.
Nothing else.
His hands moved and twirled me around. Before I could even look him in the eyes, our lips were locked. He held me there until I finally gave in and kissed him back. My entire body was shaking. I'd felt this before, I knew it. I just wasn’t sure it was with him.
             

A plate scraped against the counter. Both of us stopped and looked over. Spike had jumped up, impatiently getting his treat. I wanted to talk, my voice wanted to coo my pet, but I was speechless. I
was still tasting
that kiss. I needed a second opinion.
             

This time I took him off guard as I wrapped my arms around his neck and dove into his lips. I didn’t hold back, and I didn’t need convincing to let my emotions speak truthfully. His arms wrapped under my legs and he pulled me up onto the counter. The dishes crashed into the sink but we didn’t stop. My fingers tugged into his hair and I could hear his heart pounding. I held his lips with mine and took in a deep breath. His eyes opened and we stared at each other. What was that feeling? Why was it only there when my eyes were closed?
             

He kissed me very softly and touched the side of my face.

“Your bum is going to be wet sitting on that.” He laughed.

“You put me here.” I whispered.

Our foreheads were together. His hand was still wrapped behind my ear. I wanted to kiss him again. His heart was still pounding. Moving his head to the side of mine, he blew his breath on my neck. I shivered.

“You need a shower.” He whispered.

“Hey!”

I pushed him back, laughing. Jumping off the counter, my butt was wet.

“I need to take Spike outside, first.” I said.

Instantly Spike turned his head sideways and his eyes got huge. He understood that word perfectly.

“Yeah?”
I baby talked to him.

I mocked him, doing the same thing with my head. His big, disgusting, bacon flavored, slobbery tongue caught my nose. I stood up brushing it off dramatically.

“I’ll take him.” Joe insisted.

“We can go together.”

I wound my hand in his wiping all the drool I had just taken off my face on him.

“That was so cruel.” He said when he realized what I'd done.

“That’s payback for my bum.”

“Go wash the hospital off of you.” He leaned close to me, “and all the nasty kisses you’re covered in.”

“Hmm, good point.” I teased back.

He laughed and grabbed my other hand and then he kissed my nose. I smiled.

“I suppose a shower isn’t the worst.” I admitted.

“Good. We’ll be back shortly.”

He kissed me very quickly,
then
put Spike on his leash. I watched him step out the door and smile a goodbye to me. He was really good to me.
             

When the door clicked shut, I walked off to my bedroom. My bare feet stuck to the wood. I was sweating. I was gross. Joe was spending the night. I needed to pick out pajamas that weren’t too revealing or uncomfortable. After searching all the drawers for my favorite sweat pants, I gave up. Regular flannel bottoms would have to do. Setting the towel and pajamas on the counter, I turned on the water. I was so thankful the bathtub in this place was big.

I started undressing and setting all my dirty clothes in the hamper. When I pulled my pants down, I felt a weird pain in my thigh. I looked in the mirror and nearly had a heart attack. There was a huge gash on my thigh. When did that get there? How had that even happened?
             

I sat down on the edge of the tub and stared at it. Knowing I shouldn’t, I poked it. It hurt. I was dumb. There was intense green and yellow bruising around the edges of it. It looked as though I fell on a razor blade embedded in pointy concrete and then slid down an inch or two. How could that ever even happen though? Maybe I had done that cutting up the empty boxes and just fell into it? It didn’t seem that fresh, but who was to tell. I’d have to ask Joe when he got back. Maybe he’d remember.
             

Thinking no more of it, I added some oil and beads to the filled tub and stepped in. It was the perfect temperature. I closed my eyes and rested my head back on a towel. If I had some headphones, I’d feel like Pretty Woman. My entire body let out a sigh of relief.

“Mira.”
A voice whispered.

I bolted up and splashed water everywhere. I didn’t see anything. Now I felt like that girl from Nightmare on Elm Street. My heart was fluttering. I recognized that voice.

“Joe?” I called out.

No one responded. I didn’t hear Spike, but then again I was almost certain that wasn’t Joe’s voice. I felt nervous and sick. I convinced myself it was nothing. It had to be my mind playing tricks on me. I was so tired. I rested my head back down and closed my eyes again. A white light flashed and I saw this black creature. I jumped, splashing water everywhere.

“Mira.”
The voice said again.

It wasn’t whispering this time. It was almost commanding me to acknowledge it.

“Who are you?” I asked.

I was terrified but I tried not to show it.

“I knew this would happen. You miss me. Your heart is forcing me back in your life.”

“Who are you?!”

My voice was shaking. I had to gain control.

“Sebastian.”

His voice trailed off. My heart skipped a beat. I knew it.

“Get away from me. Get out of here! I don’t remember you. I don’t want to remember you.” I screamed.

“What else is there?” He said.

A face appeared in front of me; it was black. His eyes were violet and his hair was styled the way Joe had described earlier. I recognized it. He looked so sad. The door jiggled open and Spike and Joe came charging into the house.

“Joe!” I screamed to him.

I stood up and wrapped a towel around me. I stumbled down the hall trying to make it to him and be in his arms. I was safe there.

“Joe.” I whispered when he met me in the hallway.

I threw myself into his chest. He wrapped his free arm very tightly around me.

“Mira, what happened?”

He was shaken up at the site of me in so much distress.

“Sebastian. I saw him.” I said.

“He’s here?!
Where?!”

Joe let me go and threw down Spike’s leash. He ran into the bathroom, panting heavily. He looked everywhere in my bedroom; he even stuck his head out on the balcony.

“I don’t see any sign of him.” Joe said walking back up to me.

“I think I saw him here…” I pointed to my head.

“Oh, Mira.”
He hugged me again. “It’s okay. You’re safe, now.”

He kissed my head and then squeezed me against him.

“How can I be safe from something that’s in my head?” I whispered.

“Because I’m here.
We heard you from downstairs and I came as soon as I could.”

“Thank you. And sorry for getting your clothes soaked for the second time since I’ve met you.” I joked. “It’s only been two times, right?”

I could feel him smile and hug me tighter.

“Yes, this is only the second time. It’s okay.”

I was suddenly aware that I was naked. My eyes shot open.  

“How about getting some food in our bellies?” He asked rubbing my back.

“Okay, while you look for food, I’m going to get dressed.” I said stepped back from him. Then I remembered the cut on my leg. “Oh, can you look at this?”

I pulled my towel up a bit and turned to the side. He bent down and looked at it.

“That’s a pretty nasty cut, Mirabelle. When did that happen?”

“I can’t remember. That’s the point. I was hoping you could tell me.”

“I have absolutely no idea. I’ve never seen you this undressed before.” He winked at me.

My face went beet red. It was horrendous. I faked a laugh and started stepping backwards.

“Right, okay, well, thanks for checking it out.” I stuttered, pointing at him.

I turned around and shuffled towards my bathroom. I looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. I was crazy, everything was fine. I'd just ruined a perfectly good bath for nothing. I didn’t feel calmer
nor
cleaner. What a waste. I had more important things to worry about, anyway; like which pajamas should I wear around Joe?
             

I wasn’t sure that I had anything that matched enough. I was thinking too much again. I just needed a regular spaghetti strap shirt and some shorts. I had plenty of those. He’d probably look at me weird if I walked out in a complete matching outfit. He’d probably get the wrong impression. What kind of impression did I want to make?
Thinking too much again.
He’s waiting on me. 

“Welcome back.”

He stood up out of the refrigerator and kissed my cheek.

“Thanks. Find anything?” I asked.

“We got chicken, pizza, vegetables, waffles, and it looks like some questionable sausage.”

He laughed, pulling out a terribly frozen package of sausages.

“My mother cooked them for breakfast. I never cared much for them.” I smiled.

My heart hiccupped. I felt myself crying again. Did I have more tears to spare today? Honestly? Joe lunged over and held me again. Every time, he was there for me.
Every time.

“When does it stop hurting?” I asked through my sobs.

“Never.”

He laughed through his own tears. He had lost his mother, too. I was remembering it. Oh,
my gosh
.

“Joe!” I sat up.

“What?!”

He looked at me with his eyes all red. I loved that about him, that he was capable of crying, too.

“You!
Your mother, she passed to cancer. We were at that coffee shop! You!
Oh, Joe!”
I smiled.

I pulled him close and kissed him the way that felt right. I remembered everything. He had always been there. He was always good to me and making me feel good. He was falling in love with me and I was completely lost in him. Oh, it was such a good feeling.