Monza 3 (Formula Men #3) (4 page)

“That’s quite wishful thinking, Papa.”

Burying the hatchet with my mother? Ha. She was never going to change. What she had done to me, to my family, was a bloody fuckery to everything she and I’d once had. It was beyond disrespect. She had undermined my life, subverted something dear to me for her own selfish gain. She didn’t deserve forgiveness, let alone anything closely resembling mercy.

“She had been the culprit of how many gossips and broken marriages? How many families and friendships has she ruined throughout the years? I can’t even comprehend how many of them because I fucking lost count. She’s an embarrassment—”

“Luca, if time is what you need, then so be it. But if you’re expecting me to leave Felicia, divorce her as you have implied before, I cannot do that. Not only am I getting old, but the drama and attention that would garner would surely rush me to my own grave. Don’t mistake my avoidance as weakness. A man can choose his battles, and this one is purely something I choose not to partake in. You may not understand this, but I have my reasons.”

There was no point beating a dead horse. Their marriage was nonexistent, but he apparently was content with it. Very well, then.

“If you’re unequivocal about your decision, then I shall not speak of it any longer.”

He made an earnest nod before slowly getting to his feet, as if readying to leave since I had ended the discussion.

“Do you want to see Gian Luca?” I asked, taking myself by surprise.

My father beamed at me, as if it pleased him that I was reaching out an olive branch. “Would you mind if I take a rain check on that? I don’t feel worthy of meeting him just yet, and when that time comes, I would love to meet the mother you’ve hopelessly fallen in love with … if you guys will still welcome this old man, of course.”

Meeting him halfway, I was suffocated by such overwhelming emotions that I simply gave him a hug. Not the quick unaffected one, but the kind where I showed just how much I loved him. Although we were in a rough patch, I appreciated his efforts of trying to mend things for me. He wasn’t like me—impulsive, irrational, and beyond adventurous to a fault—and I supposed, in some ways, I was glad he wasn’t. It showed me that being a father to a son needed a hefty deal of patience and understanding. Above all, it required loving them even though one didn’t necessarily approve of their actions or how they handled adversity.

When he hugged me back with the same intensity, I knew he was proud of me, and that meant the world to me.

“You’re welcome to visit any time, Papa.”

Cinque

“My father came,” I announced the moment Kimberly walked inside the library, looking for me, a cue she had already fed and put the baby to sleep. It was her turn to unwind and spend some quality time with me. This time was usually spent with me watching her eat in the kitchen while we talked about whatever subject we could get into.

To some, it might have seemed as though I was now leading a boring life. On the contrary, I loved every moment of it. It was a great way for us to reconnect and get to know each other once again.

“When?” she asked mid-stride. Her hair was tousled, and she wore a long, simple, soft-blue cotton gown. She made exhaustion look good.

My arms were wide open, and she went straight into them. There were times during the day when we would simple hug each other, no words needed. It was a simple gesture of encouragement, support, love, and affection.

After slowly breathing her in, I kissed the side of her neck before murmuring the answer to her question. “Just now. He just left.”

“Oh, my. You should’ve said something. I could’ve come downstairs to greet him. I hope he thinks I have more manners than that.” She was kind and an overall good person, so her comment didn’t surprise me.

“Trust me, amore; after what’s happened, the last thing my father thinks is that you don’t have manners.”

She seemed unconvinced. “Whether he has animosity towards me or not, I’m not one to be disrespectful.”

My father would not dare think of such a ridiculous notion. Not after the damage this all had caused.

“You were the one disrespected beyond measure by his wife.”

She made a small nod before searching for my eyes, a tad hesitant. “Did he…? Did he not want to meet his grandson?”

There was no need to be insecure. She must know that. Whether my father liked her or not should not have been something she should be bothered with. However, I understood her. Every woman wanted approval in one way or the other.

“He did, but he’s not ready just yet. He feels unworthy to meet him,
and you
,” I rightfully added, remembering my father’s expression earlier. He had been ashamed and didn’t have the wherewithal to face the consequences his wife had caused.

“He’s your family and now the baby’s, too. He shouldn’t feel that way.” She sighed, as if my father’s actions made her feel
unworthy
and not the other way around. “I know it’s not my place to say this since I’m the main cause of the rift between you and your mother.” She held up her hand before I had the chance to interrupt her. “I also know you’re going to argue that, if it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have had to go through so much. We can both agree that she’s not the warmest person, but at the end of the day, that person is still your mother. All I’m saying is, maybe you should think about mending things with her. Think about what our son will say once he realizes you don’t have a relationship with your own mother. We’ll agree to disagree on a lot of points, but what I mean is, just think about it. That’s all I’m asking.”

She was suggesting a ludicrous idea.

“Let’s not discuss this subject just yet. Everything is still fresh. The wounds haven’t healed, so I can’t fathom it just yet.” It wasn’t a direct answer, but it was better than lying.

Reconciling with my mother would be near impossible. I couldn’t forgive something so big, so massive, like it meant little to me. My mother needed to grasp how damaging her actions were. After all, if everyone turned a blind eye like my father had, she would continue meddling in my life, and that was something I couldn’t allow.

+++

A few days later, I got a call from Lindsey Kosta inviting me to her husband’s surprise party. As much as I loved my dear friend Dimitris, the party fell on the day Kimberly’s brother was going to get the heart operation, which was a major deal for her. Even though her father would be there, she might need my support or simply someone to lean on. However, she kept arguing that there was no need for me to be there. She even dared to say I would be a nuisance because she would be too busy fretting about her brother and father, taking on tending to Gian Luca in between, so she didn’t want me bugging her. She was so adamant I somehow felt as though she would be grateful if I left.

“Are you afraid I won’t get on with your father?” I openly voiced after we’d had dinner in the kitchen. “I mean, I know he and I aren’t close, but I think he’ll warm to me. We just need time to get there; that’s all.” It wasn’t a question about being confident; it was a simple fact that any father would approve of a man who was utterly in love with their daughter.

She half laughed at my question before she sipped some water. “This isn’t about my father, Luca, and I know you two will be okay. This is me saying go have fun with your friends because life’s been tough on both sides. I won’t begrudge you some fun just because you’re tied with me and Gian Luca now. It’s truly okay. I can handle the fort while you’re away for a day. It’s no big deal. I don’t know why you’re making it into one.”

“I honestly don’t know if I want to go.” It had been about two weeks that we had been inseparable, and the thought of parting away from them even for a day killed me a little. “How about I just stay here with Gian Luca while you’re in the hospital? It’ll solve everything.”

“No, you have to go. It’s your friend’s birthday. Hopefully, once everything settles down, I will get to meet them all.” She smiled at me before dropping her head to the side to kiss my neck. “I love the way you smell after a shower. It’s highly addictive,” she grumbled and moaned at the same time.

I sighed. When she did these cute little things, there was nothing I could resist, but I must. She had just given birth, and although the thought of doing anything sexually related was heavenly, I didn’t want to push my luck just yet. I wanted to show her that, even without sex, we were in perfect harmony. And so far so good. I wasn’t about to mess that up.

So, just as she insisted, I left that Saturday morning, en route to Athens. I had barely spoken to Andrés or Jacques since the baby had come. I knew they wouldn’t let up once I saw them. I was grateful they hadn’t decided to give me a surprise visit. Those two didn’t have much time on their hands. They had been travelling everywhere for races and endorsement deals. That hadn’t stopped them from leaving voicemails and such.

I hadn’t been the same since I’d had the accident—everyone knew that. What they didn’t get was how badly I had fallen in love, too, and that I was willing to risk anything and everything to get my life in order with the woman I loved next to me. It was all I knew at this point.

The surprise party was being held on board Dimitris’s boat, which was anchored in the port of Piraeus, a town close to Athens. A lot of shenanigans had happened on Dimitris’s boat—from hardcore partying to endless womanizing to jet-skiing naked at midnight. One could say I had lived my life to the fullest, and I didn’t regret anything one bit.

Upon arrival, I was surprised that it wasn’t Lindsey who greeted me, but her good friend Trista.

“Good afternoon, Luca. We’ve met before. I’m Trista.”

“Trista, of course.” I smiled then bestowed a kiss on both of her cheeks. “It’s good to see you.”

“Same, same. Lindsey is with Dimitris. I’m hoping she’s doing a good job of distracting him before she brings him here.” She teasingly winked, as if to imply Lindsey was doing wicked things to her husband. I was sure she was. My friend had an appetite for beauty and sex—all of us knew that. So to be married to him … Well, I was sure the bedroom wasn’t a bore.

Even though I knew this boat as if it were my own, I followed Trista’s lead. She was donning a revealing black dress. Normally, like any man in the same position, I would take this opportunity to check everything from this angle, but I was surprised to find I wasn’t the least bit interested. The knowledge that my gaze wasn’t wandering even just to appreciate beauty because it only had eyes for Kimberly made me feel like a king. I was glad I only ever wanted one woman and didn’t have to worry about this particular problem later down the road.

“I don’t know if you’ve met Bass Cole and my boyfriend Taylor before.” She spoke as she stepped aside the moment we reached the stateroom that had been morphed into a lounge area with a lavish spread of aperitifs.

Bass Cole, maybe … Oh, wait. Wasn’t he the man Jacques had ticked off at his party when Emma had kissed him? Oh, yeah, the actor. I loved his movies.

“I wouldn’t say we’ve been formally introduced …” I trailed off, wondering how this night was going to transpire if Jacques decided to show his dastardly self.

From what I had gathered, Bass and Emma had gotten married, and she was pregnant or had already given birth … I hadn’t really followed when Jacques had mentioned it, so I wasn’t sure about the baby front. Well, I was hoping nothing would happen because, from what I could recall, Bass Cole had been ready to commit murder that night.

Speak of the devil…

The man strode towards me before offering his hand. “Bass Cole. You’re Luca di Medici, right? It’s good to see you’re doing well. My wife and I were watching that accident from home, and trust me, she was adamant that I make sure you’re abso-fucking-lutely fine.”

Damn. Emma and her always sweet self. I truly felt bad that I had neglected to thank her for the flowers she had sent to the hospital. At that point in time, I was past everything.

“Tell your lovely wife thank you for the flowers, and I guess congratulations are in order for the wedding and the baby. I’m glad that everything worked out.”

His grin became bigger, beyond pleased. I was glad he was a fan of racing, but the man had no idea I was a fan of a few of his movies, as well. The guy was a terrific actor; no one could begrudge him that fact. Whatever had happened between Jacques and him … Well, I hoped that was water under the bridge.

“She would’ve loved to be here, but she didn’t want to risk flying. She’ll be over the moon to know you’re well and about. You gave us quite the scare there.”

He was a great guy. It was easy to see why Emma couldn’t resist him.

No one would understand where I came from, that the accident barely bothered me. I had been in the throes of suicide in a way …

Not wanting to dwell on such dampening matters, I resorted to another subject we both could relate to. “Are you guys having a boy or a girl?” I asked, scanning the room.

Trista was on the other end, speaking to another blond man, whom I assumed was her boyfriend Taylor. There were a few other people who had arrived, but so far, none I knew.

Well, as it turned out, Jacques and Andrés couldn’t make it. The same went with Callum. Hell, everyone was becoming too busy to make time for old friends. It just went to show how life was moving on and that we weren’t that young and carefree any longer.

When Dimitris arrived with Lindsey at his side, it was enlightening to see him so happy. After what he had gone through to fight for his wife back, I could only admire. I couldn’t fathom how one could divorce if one were still so in love. Even after all of that heartache, he soldiered on and didn’t let up in his fight for her. When love struck, it really struck a man’s heart like no other, like it had with mine.

For most of the night, I enjoyed Bass and Taylor’s company. I even told my secret that I was a newly minted father, though I didn’t want to announce it beyond present company just yet. I wanted more time for Kimberly to get used to her position in my world: the media, the frenzy, the lunacy of my family. So, after confiding to Bass, he and I ended up having a discussion about babies and everything else about them.

“Changing diapers isn’t that horrifying, is it?” Bass asked, his brow furrowed.

The last thing I thought about changing nappies was horrifying. Since Kim and I had such an unconventional way of getting back together, I was grateful for every moment I had with them.

“You know, it isn’t all that bad. I guess all I can tell you is that it gets better—the stench, the look, and the whole process. You’ll be a pro in a month.”

He pressed his lips together before taking a swig of his beer, as if he couldn’t comprehend how one could get used to the stench and all that. “Hell, if you could do it, then it isn’t so bad.”

It was endearing to see a soon-to-be father antsy.

Maybe someday soon, Kimberly and I would have our second child. It was awful to let my mind get away with such a notion, but my heart was quite confident this was fated for us.

Life was finally beginning. I expected a lot could go wrong, but we would get through it all together.

I didn’t have reception and was too drunk to hunt down for a phone to call home. Therefore, I didn’t expect what greeted me when I got home. As it turned out, it wasn’t fine. Far from it.