Moons' Dreaming (Children of the Rock) (18 page)

She was really quite pretty, he decided, in a raw-boned, square-jawed sort of way. A woman of character, of strength. That
’
s what his mother would have said. She believed in finding something complimentary to say about all people.

Mother. What am I going to do?

Sheyn was bright tonight. His blue light positively glistened on the woman
’
s face. Pirse blinked and looked more closely at Doron. It wasn
’
t moonlight. A slender trail of tears marked her cheek.

Without thinking, he touched her shoulder.
“
Doron? Are you all right? Is it something to do with me?
”

She shook him off.
“
Shapers.
”
Her low voice was roughened with emotion, but not so rough that he missed the underlying contempt.
“
You
’
re not the center of the world, man. I had a life before you came to Juniper Ridge. Had.
”
A deep sigh shook her.
“
Go to bed, will you?
”

He bit back his first proud retort and answered with forced patience.
“
There
’
s no sleep for either of us. I
’
m only trying to be of use. I know I
’
m not much help in a village, but I do know how to listen if you need to talk.
”

“
You don
’
t know me, Shaper, nor I you. What makes you think you can help where family and friends have failed? I had a man. He
’
s dead. Talking or listening can
’
t help that.
”

“
I had a mother and sister,
”
he retorted before he could stop himself.
“
They
’
re dead. I hurt tonight. Advise me, Doron. If talking doesn
’
t help the grief, what does?
”

“
Rock and Pool,
”
she whispered.
“
I wish I knew.
”
Suddenly she was facing him, the tears rolling more freely, her mouth twisting with despair.
“
I don
’
t know what to do!
”

He swallowed uncomfortably.
“
Doron
….”
His voice didn
’
t respond as he
’
d expected it to. Instead, his vision blurred and his hands went to her shoulders again, this time without rebuff. She moved into his offered embrace, her head burrowing into his shoulder. He tried to take a deep breath, but the inhalation became a sob. He buried his face in the softness of her hair and the tight control he
’
d kept over his emotions shattered.

“
I told myself, no tears,
”
he said when he was done with his crying. Said it not to Doron, but to himself.
“
Tears wash away grief. I don
’
t deserve that.
”

“
Oh hush,
”
was the unsympathetic retort from the woman.
“
Tears come. They solve nothing. They just come.
”

He pushed her gently upright.
“
Fine pair, aren
’
t we?
”

“
Pair? That we are not.
”
She stood and walked back into her yard.
“
Go to bed. Go to sleep. That also solves nothing, but it passes the time.
”

She disappeared beneath the shadows of the trees. Pirse levered himself to his feet.
“
Passing the time? Maybe that
’
s enough for you.
”
Fatigue caught up with him as he spoke. A yawn took the place of whatever else he was going to say, and drove the words right out of his mind. He made it back into the house with barely enough energy to find his cot. If he wasn
’
t good for anything else, he thought as his eyes closed, at least he could play the obedient lad for the dyer of Juniper Ridge.
That
’
s the trouble with Dherricans. We all think we know what
’
s best for everyone else.

We just can
’
t decide what
’
s best for ourselves.

* * *

The pain grew during the night, ebbing near dawn. It was a frequent pattern and Hion had learned to live with it, but it exhausted him, eating away at Jenil
’
s healing magic

“
Magic,
”
Hion snorted, and dragged himself from beneath the sweat-soaked sheets. He stumbled across the room and opened the curtains to let in the dawn light. Behind him, the door opened, and he heard the familiar sounds of his servant preparing his bath. He settled heavily into the chair by the window and watched the light grow over the fields and buildings of his city. He loved the view from his room. His view alone. It had been years since he
’
d shared quarters with the queen. Gallia was hardly ever in Edian. When she was, she certainly didn
’
t come near the king
’
s chambers. She hadn
’
t shared his bed since the night the girl was conceived. Not that Hion particularly cared. The red-haired woman
’
s presence wasn
’
t missed.

He shared his bed with the pain, which was all the company he could bear. Hion was glad to have no meddling woman about to question him. His room was the only refuge he had. Here, he could be weak. If he showed weakness in the castle, in the council chamber and great hall, on his rounds of the city, there would be talk. If there was talk, a delegation of Shapers would follow, to challenge his right to rule them
—
and Gallia would lead the delegation.

He had given his life in defense of Rhenlan. He had no intention of retiring to some estate to quietly nurse his failing strength. He was not yet fifty years old! Every moment he still ruled
—
some worse than others
—
reminded him of the rewards of his Shaper
’
s duty.

Hion sighed. He was feeling particularly bitter this morning. It had been a bad night, and now he had a council meeting to prepare for. He moved to the tub of hot water that his servant had filled. She was the only person he allowed in his rooms. Hion didn
’
t think they
’
d exchanged more than a few words in all the years she
’
d served him, but she understood his habits and never got in the way. She
’
d been young and pretty once. Gallia had been jealous.

Gallia had liked to pretend, in the early days, that she loved her husband. She
’
d given up the pretense after Damon
’
s birth, doting on the baby for a while. Eventually she lost interest in their son and went back to the horses she loved. She still spoiled Damon when she came to court. Fortunately, the castle was no more to her than a place to stay during the annual horse fair, so Damon was spared her smothering attention all but a few days of the year.

Hion eased himself into the steaming water and leaned his head back against the wooden edge of the tub. He closed his eyes, paying no attention as the servant went through the familiar ritual of bathing and shaving him.

Poor Damon. The boy had had poor luck with his parents, and poor luck with the times he lived in. A Shaper needed challenges, things to struggle against. Since the plague, the monsters that still afflicted Dherrica and Sitrine had been absent from Rhenlan. Hion had seen to the last of the fire bears himself. Though they kept patrols on the southern border, the horse people had been quiet for a dozen years or so.

It might have been better for the boy if he
’
d been able to set his mind and strength against some tangible threat. Damon had grown up a brilliant administrator, but he lacked compassion. At twenty-six, he showed no more understanding of the basic needs of Shaper and Keeper than he had shown at sixteen, or six. Hion was grateful for all the help his son gave, but worried as well. Although he allowed Damon to oversee more and more of the business of running the kingdom, his son was not yet qualified to assume the full responsibilities of kingship. He had not yet told the council, or Damon, how soon he might have to relinquish the throne to his son. Only Jenil, who had sense enough to keep her Dreamer
’
s nose out of the business of government, knew that the king spent much of his time lost in pain.

The hot, pine-scented water soothed Hion
’
s aching body.
That
’
s something else the kingdom owes me. Rhenlan stole my life. Worse, it has stolen my boy
’
s childhood. I
’
ve used him, turned him into my deputy, but he
’
s not ready.

Hion grunted and heaved himself out of the water. Time to start the long, hard day. The serving woman handed him a towel and he went back to his bedroom to dress in the clothing she
’
d laid out while he soaked.

The morning was growing older and he had the council to think of. His eyes sought the window and the long view over the countryside. He was a fool to keep trudging up the many flights of steps to the privacy of this tower chamber year after weakening year. He could sleep nearer to the ground, but he had no intention of giving up the privilege of the dawn.

He turned his thoughts to the council and what they needed to discuss today. Ah, yes. The message from Palle, and Captain Dael
’
s request for guards.

Dael will ask that the guards now on the border be put to use hunting down Abstainers. Best to talk to Dael before the meeting. No need to discuss Abstainers in front of Damon. Dael
’
s a good lad, responsible, but Damon
’
s my son.
It was hard on the boy when his uncle, Gallia
’
s brother, renounced his vows and ran off to the abandoned lands rather than live among civilized people.
Soen
’
s mad, always was. Still, Damon cared deeply for him. Now he
’
s afraid that every Abstainer executed will be his dear uncle. He
’
ll have to deal with Abstainers when he
’
s king, but I
’
ll manage that problem for now. Tell Dael myself we can
’
t spare any more guards.

What else? Hion waved the question away and got to his feet. Never mind. He
’
d find out soon enough.

I wish I had time to get drunk,
Dael thought as he mounted the steps of the law reader
’
s house. Good and drunk. A days and days long drunk. Several people followed him through the wide doors. The petitioners were stopped by the porter to ask their names and business while Dael continued on into the cool interior of the old wooden building. He headed up two flights of stairs to the top floor, turned left
,
and entered the room of the senior law reader, an old Shaper named Oskin.

“
Dael. Good. I want to have a word with you.
”

Dael approached the tall, carved oak table. The white-haired man behind it put down his quill. Dael gave the book one disinterested glance. He didn
’
t really understand Shapers
’
need for recording things with pigment and parchment. All he knew was that most Shapers couldn
’
t recall what they
’
d had for breakfast unless a Redmother was there to remember for them, or they marked it down in a book or scroll. Oskin probably had a hundred books lining the shelves behind him. Vray said she liked to read the old records. Liked to read, though she didn
’
t really need to with her memory training. Personally, Dael preferred to listen to a story teller, or a minstrel
’
s songs.

“
I need a favor, Oskin.
”

The old man glowered at him.
“
I need more guards. Maybe we can help one another.
”

“
For the cells? You know I don
’
t have any people to spare.
”

“
Well, without guards we can
’
t hold prisoners. You
’
ll have no labor at all for the roads if every malicious offender is executed because there
’
s no one to oversee the labor crews.
”