More Letters From a Nut (40 page)

Dear Marriage License Bureau:

I am a single man interested in marrying a married couple. Can this be performed in Las Vegas? I know Las Vegas is the marriage capital of the world and that you can accommodate every type of marriage.

We are simply three people that want to marry each other. Although I am only in love with the girl, I will marry both of them to get to her. They are already a married couple. I now want to marry them.

How much for this? They will let me marry them but I have to do all the legwork, so to speak. That is why I am writing to you.

Also, do you know the park hours of Wet N” Wild? I can’t seem to get them on the phone. Thank you for your help.

Please write back with info as we want to consummate our relationship. I am ready.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

200 South Third Street
PO Box 551601
Las Vegas NV 89155-1601

August 23, 1996

Dear Mr. Nancy:

In reply to your correspondence, this is to advise that we are unable to accommodate the type of marriage you are requesting.

Nevada Revised Statutes states: “A male and a female person may be issued a marriage license.”

We are sorry, but we are unable to provide you with the hours of Wet N’ Wild.

Cordially yours,

LORETTA BOWMAN, COUNTY CLERK

LB:pb

Ex-Officio Clerk of:
Eighth Judicial District Court • Board of County Commissioners • Board of Equalization
Clark County Liquor and Gaming Licensing Board • Kyle Canyon Water District
Clark County Sanitation District • General Obligation Bond Commission

Dear Records Dept.:

I have decided to change my name to Sinardatadadda Popppololloppa de Del Fudgio.

I will be called “Del” to shorten my name but on all legal documents I want to be called
MR.
Sinardatadadda de Del Fudgio. My middle name of Popppololloppa can be taken off all legal documents EXCEPT my gas bill.

If that name is taken I will change my name to Mitchell Silverman.

Please send me the proper forms. I am moving to Oxnard very soon. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

“Del”

CITY CLERK • 305 WEST THIRD STREET • OXNARD, CALIFORNIA 93030 • (805) 385-7802

FAX • (805) 385-7806

December 3, 1996

Dear Mr. Nancy,

This letter is in response to your letter dated November 25, 1996 regarding changing your name.

The City of Oxnard does NOT provide this service. This is done through the courts at the Ventura County Government Center, 800 South Victoria, Ventura, California 93009. You will need to contact the County for the forms you request. If we can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact our office.

Sincerely,

Daniel Martinez

City Clerk

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