More, Please (20 page)

“His kid?”

“I didn’t get that impression. Anyway,
she doesn’t have a ton of family so Maeve’s gotten pretty desperate to fill up
the bride’s side of the church, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, you should go then. That can be
really hard. She needs support.”

“You sound like Maeve. But really, I
barely know Bess, and truth be known, I hate weddings. I RSVPed with a no ages
ago, but Maeve’s pretty insistent.” He pauses. “Then again, it might be fun if
I could tempt you into going with me.”

I sputter. “Oh, I can’t do that.”

“Come on. I’d love to show you
Annapolis.”

“I can’t leave my dogs.”

“Cass will take care of them again. You
can’t tell me she wouldn’t love to.”

He’s right about that. She’s been begging
for more opportunities to get away from her apartment.

“It’s not for another week,” he
continues. “So check your calendar, and talk to Nancy. If Nancy can’t give you
a day off, I could get us a Friday night flight and have you home late Sunday.”

“I have an adoption event on Saturday.”

“And you have volunteers who could handle
it for you.”

“I probably have a party scheduled Friday
night.”

He raises his eyebrows. “And one of your
friends could take over it, I’ll bet. Didn’t you say Kim is trying to earn more
money? Come on, you’d love Annapolis.”

I probably would love it. I’d love
anyplace if I went with him. “Okay. I’ll go,” I tell him, releasing a swarm of
butterflies in my stomach.

Satisfied, he smiles. “So how did you
like my crazy family?”

“Loved them,” I reply without hesitation.
Being around the Sheridans makes me long for my own family dinners before my
dad died.

I really should visit my mom more often—to
build up some new family memories, I guess. She’s only a few hours away.

But she’s not at home. Not
my
home. I walk up to her house now and see a place she bought with her new
husband, not my dad. I have no memories there. They fixed up a guest room so
that I can visit, but it’s not
my
room, not where I drew misshapen unicorns
on the walls with a permanent marker when I was six and had to stare at them
for the remainder of my childhood long after I outgrew my unicorn stage. The
doorways there don’t have the tiny etched marks where my dad tracked my height.
The rooms don’t look out onto the maple tree that we planted as a sapling
before I was even old enough to talk.

The house they bought is nice. But it’s
not home to me in the least.

“Are you okay?” Logan asks as he looks over
at me at a stoplight. “You seem a world away.”

“I’m fine. Sorry. I just got to missing
my mom.”

“Why don’t you go for a visit? I can take
care of your dogs.”

He makes it too easy for me, and that’s
what I don’t need right now. “I should. I know. It’s just hard.”

“Because your dad’s not there.”

I shake my head. “No, actually. It’s more
because some other guy is taking his place.”

“He’s not taking his place, Allie. No one
will ever replace your father. Not to you. Not to your mother.”

I shrug. “I’m not so sure. She seems
pretty happy.”

“And that makes you angry.”

“No,” I deny. I’m not that childish. Am
I? “It just makes me… frustrated. Frustrated that she moved on so quickly. Did
she even mourn him?”

“I’m sure she did. She was married to him
for how long?”

“Almost twenty-five years.”

“Twenty-five years,” he repeats. “That’s
a long time to wake up with someone in the same bed, Allie. That’s a long time
to have someone to eat dinner with every night. With you gone, I can understand
why her heart needed to find someone else.”

I never thought about it that way. I always
thought that by replacing Dad, she was showing that she didn’t love him as much
as I did. But maybe she loved him so much she needed someone to fill the void.

“You think?” I feel small for even
thinking these thoughts.

“I’m sure.”

I press my lips together in thought. I
will call my mom tomorrow, if for any other reason, to tell her about the
wonderful man in my life. I know she’d want to know. And I want her to know.

- LOGAN -

Allie’s bed must have been bought on
clearance at the torture store. I’ve never felt a bumpier mattress. When I last
made love to her I found myself distracted—yes, actually
distracted
by one spring that kept jutting into my knee and one into my side.

I put it on my mental register of things
I’d like to get her. There are so many. It’s not that I’m a snob. When I was
her age, living on a Lieutenant JG’s salary, I was sleeping on a foam futon in
my quarters at Coronado.

But I don’t want Allie to go through
years like that. She’s already been through enough, burying her father so
suddenly and getting dumped by an asshole boyfriend right after. I want to trap
that guy in a headlock and just
squeeze
.

She’s dozed off on the bed beside me and
I watch her eyelids flutter as though she’s in the middle of a dream.
Stretching my hand out toward the nightstand, I reach for my watch. I have to
go next door and give Kosmo his pain meds in a little bit, but I’m having a
hard time pulling myself away from Allie, even if I do feel like I’m lying on a
bed of rubble.

And I’ve laid in plenty of piles of
rubble, so I’d know. In the field, you grab sleep when you can, where you can.

Her eyes open and she gazes at me with a
smile. I think about what I told her in the car the other night—how her
mom probably just couldn’t take the void in her life left by her husband’s
sudden death. And I realize just how big of a void I’d have in my life if Allie
decided to leave me. We haven’t been together that long. But already I feel
like my soul has been completely fused with hers.

And I didn’t even think I had a soul till
I met her.

“I fell asleep,” she mumbles.

“You did,” I answer. “I wore you out.” I
smile as I say it, remembering how amazing it felt to be joined with her. My
cock perks up at the thought, ready for seconds. Or thirds, as the case may be
today.

“What time is it?”

“Nearly five.” I worry I’m pulling her
away from her work too much. My hours are my own. But it’s not like Allie has
that luxury.

“Gotta wake up,” she groans, stretching
out her lithe body and making me hard as a rock in the process. “I’ve got a
party at seven.”

“A party,” I repeat, wishing selfishly
she’d cut back on work. I hate the idea of her out late driving when she’s
tired. “Can’t skip it, I suppose?”

“Nope. We got a new vibrator in this
week. Always fun showing off the new products.”

A broad smile sweeps across my face. I’d
love to be a fly on the wall at one of those parties. “And how exactly do you
show them off. Drop your panties?”

Her jaw drops. “You seriously don’t think
that, do you?”

I laugh heartily. “Of course not. Though I
have noticed you wearing a skirt to these all the time. Who knows if you’re
wearing anything under it?”

Stroking her hand down my chest, she
grins. “Want to hear my sales pitch?”

I’m tempted. “Actually, I’d rather see
the product line.”

Her eyes narrow at the challenge. “I’ll
go get my samples. But there are limits to what we can do with them.”

I grab her hand, not anxious for her to
leave. “Then where’s the fun in that?”

She lowers her body on top of mine. “I
have one of my own, if you’re curious.”

I raise my head up slightly, glancing
over at the nightstand drawer she’s eyeing. “You bet I am. I have to see the
competition.”

She grins, reaching over and pulling out
a vibrator. “It’s their basic model. None of the bells and whistles.” She
flicks it on and touches it to my neck raising her eyebrows. “But it gets the
job done in a pinch.”

I look at it. “I’m bigger,” I tell her.

“No kidding. I haven’t exactly had
occasion to use it since you came along, and I’m not sure how I’ll go back to
it.”

I don’t like the sound of that, as if I
might not be in the picture one day. “I’ll just have to stick around then,
won’t I?” I flip her over onto her back. “Want me to use it on you?”

“I think I’d rather just have you,” she
says, reaching for the vibrator.

“Still,” I consider, pulling it away from
her, “we could get creative with it.” I lower myself onto her belly. Grabbing a
pillow, I lift her rear to slide it under her so that I can get a good view of the
soft, pink flesh I love to sink into. “This will be a first for me, Allie. You
know how I feel about using technology as a crutch.”

“With a body like yours, I can’t imagine
you’d need to,” she whimpers as I tongue her clit, making her folds moisten and
swell. I flick the vibrator back on and have to suppress a laugh at the weak hum
of the motor. Basic model, indeed.

I slide it inside of her, watching her body
open up to the invasion. I lick her again, feeling the vibration against my
tongue as I move it in and out of her. The sight of her taking something inside
of her that isn’t me somehow has me bristling inside, as I gaze up at her
puckered nipples and watch her breathing quicken from the sensation.

So long as she’s enjoying herself, I
guess.

I move my mouth over her, unable to reach
all the places I want to explore because of the damn vibrator. I can’t taste
her like I usually can, and my mouth aches to feel her fluids flowing over my
tongue. She lifts her hands to the top of the bed, and I’m wishing she had a
headboard she could grip right now. The sight would just about bring me to my
knees.

Except that I’m already on my knees.

Sliding it in and out, I watch her pelvis
rise up. I fight back the ridiculous jealousy I’m feeling for the chunk of cheap
machinery, when I suddenly start to hear the hum of the motor get quieter and
quieter, till it stops dead.

Her eyes widen. “What happened?’

I laugh uproariously as I flick the power
button off and on and off again. “Batteries are dead. So, do you need my
services, after all?” I ask, already reaching for my jeans on the floor to
search my pockets for a condom.

A small whimper of frustration escapes
her. “I do.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I was a little
insulted at the sight of me being so easily replaced.”

“Never.”

“Tell me you didn’t love it with
it
as much as you do with me.” I raise my eyebrows teasingly as I slip on my
condom.

“It meant nothing to me,” she says,
playing along.

I hover my cock above her open legs. “Beg
me for it.”

“Please,” she murmurs.

“I’m not convinced.”

“I need you,” she whimpers, her body
writhing beneath me, anxious to complete the climb to ecstasy that was stopped
short by mechanical failure.

“To what?” I ask, my hand toying with the
moist slit that beckons for my entry.

“Fuck me, dammit!” Her eyes flare, as she
says it between her teeth.

I cock my head. “If you insist.” Sliding
into her, I feel her come undone immediately, throbbing against my length and
giving me a better massage than modern technology ever could.

~ ALLIE ~

I have exactly one dress in my wardrobe
that is suitable for a wedding and Kim and Cass are staring at me in it right
now, shaking their heads.

“Looks frumpy,” Cass says bluntly as her
eyes drift over the scooped neckline that leads to three-quarter length
sleeves. At least it’s red. That has to count for something.

“You’re a little harsh,” I comment.

“It’s not really frumpy,” Kim consoles me.
“Just more like something you’d wear to a business dinner or something.”

“I wish you could borrow something of
mine,” Cass pouts. I know she means well by the statement, but I don’t want to
be reminded that I don’t have her willowy, statuesque frame. “Do you have
anything for her?” she asks Kim, who is a little more my size.

“I’m a mom. What do you think?” Her
expression is pretty hopeless as she gazes at me. “I’ve got a dress that I wore
to the pre-K spring fundraiser last year, but your dress shows more skin than that
one, believe me.”

Cass looks thoughtful. “I know. What size
shoes do you wear?”

“8,” I reply.

“Think you can squeeze into a 7
½?”

“Maybe, if I pack some aspirin.”

“Perfect. I’ve got some heels that would
really sex that dress up a bit.”

“I don’t want to look vampy, Cass. The
wedding will be in a church, you know.” I’m already excited to see it, after
looking up the historic church where it will take place. It’s right in downtown
Annapolis, and Logan says the reception will be on a boat on the Chesapeake
Bay. That’s a venue that’s impossible here in the distant suburbs of Dayton.

“Believe me, with that conservative
neckline, you could tattoo ‘Fuck me’ on your forearm, and you’d still look like
a soccer mom.”

“Thanks,” I reply dryly. I pull the dress
off me and hang it back up. “Can I swing by later and pick them up?”

“I’ll just bring them when I come to dog
sit tomorrow.”

Nancy was thrilled to give me the whole
day off on Friday, practically doing backflips when I told her, and Kim took
over my party this weekend. I am actually going to get a vacation—a real,
honest-to-God vacation where I fly on a plane and stay in a hotel and eat out
and see something other than my familiar Midwestern landscape.

It might throw me into shock.

I can’t wait to see that blue horizon
that is always beckoning Logan to the coastline, and to watch the sunset over
the Chesapeake Bay.

Or does the sun rise over it? No matter. I’ll
enjoy it, either way.

“Excited?” Cass asks.

“Yes. And nervous. What if his friends
hate me?”

“No one can hate you.”

I press my lips together, not completely
convinced. “I haven’t been on a plane in years.”

“And now you’re doing it on someone
else’s credit card.” Leave it to Cass to point that out. “I’m insanely jealous,
you know. Free rent. New car. Trip to the coast. You’re freaking Cinderella.”

“Better than that. He’s a SEAL. Not a
prince. I’d prefer a SEAL any day,” Kim chimes in.

Me, too, I’m thinking. But I only smile
in reply.

“Have you thought about what you’ll do
after he finishes up these townhomes?”

My stomach pinches. I’ve thought plenty. I
know he’s going to sell them. And I really can’t stay here while he has them on
the market. My furniture does nothing to show off the features of this home,
and a buyer would barely even be able to see the hardwood floors under all the
fur that collects on them daily.

Slipping on my shorts, I shrug.
“Hopefully, I’ll hear back from the bank before then and with any luck, I’ll be
slumming it in my run-down kennel till I can fix it up.” I’d be perfectly happy
with that, too. Logan has certainly been a nice distraction from waiting around
on the bank’s answer. But my dream of that kennel is still in the forefront of
my mind.

“Maybe you can move in with him while you
fix it up?” Kim suggests.

The thought had crossed my mind. “It’s
too early for that.” I comment. It
is
too early, I say again in my head,
tugging my shirt on. Neither one of us has even said the L word yet, even
though I’m thinking it 24/7.

And then some.

***

I don’t think I’ve ever been as nervous
as I was on that flight to Annapolis. But as we approached Baltimore-Washington
International Airport, and I caught a glimpse of the stunning Chesapeake Bay,
the sight of it soothed me instantaneously.

Now, with my feet firmly planted on the
ground again, I can understand why Logan likes the coast so much. The waves lap
against the rocks alongside us as we walk along the shoreline of the United
States Naval Academy, and it’s the kind of sound I could listen to all day.

I see the uniformed men and women walking
around and I try to imagine Logan in a uniform here, but I can’t. Despite the
photographs I’ve seen on his wall, I have a hard time imagining him in a
uniform.

We walk toward Main Street and I
immediately feel at home. Annapolis might be a state capital, but it definitely
has a hometown feel to it with its picturesque street lamps and historic
architecture. I smile at the huge boats squeezing into a narrow inlet of water
at the end of Main Street.

“That’s Ego Alley,” he tells me, pointing
as we head in that direction.

“Ego Alley?”

“Yeah, they call it that because everyone
brings their boats down here to show them off to the gawking tourists. Good for
the boaters’ egos, you know.”

“Yeah, but how do they get them out?” I
comment, wondering how a ship as big as the sailboat I’m looking at now could
possibly turn around in such narrow waters.

“Sometimes with minor damage,” he laughs.

I press my side against him as we sit on
a bench waiting for the water taxi that will take us to the Eastport side of
Annapolis where our bed-and-breakfast is. My feet ache from playing tourist,
but it’s a good kind of ache, and Logan promised me a foot rub when we get back
to the room.

I’m dying to be alone with him, and
wonder if we can order dinner in.

The water taxi arrives and Logan takes my
hand in his steady grip as we step onto the small boat. We have the vessel to
ourselves except for the captain, and I love snuggling next to Logan as we
bounce along the waves. Glancing at him, I’m struck by how peaceful he looks
right now, more at home than I’ve ever seen him in Newton’s Creek.

“You look good out here. Out here on the
water,” I mention.

“It’s where I belong.” He says the words
so easily and has no idea that they pain me deeply.

“Is that why you joined the Navy?”

He laughs unexpectedly. “No. No, actually
it’s not. I had barely even seen waters like this till after I came to the
Academy.”

“Then why did you join?”

He shrugs his shoulders dismissively. “My
dad was so dead set on me taking over his business for him. But I just wanted
to write my own ticket in life, not slide into a position that someone else had
already prepared for me. I was young and had no clue how to break out on my own.
So I decided I wanted to serve. I think I chose the Navy simply because it
forced me to break free of them completely. There’s not much of a Navy presence
around Newton’s Creek. Selfish, huh?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the most romantic of
reasons.” He pulls me closer and whispers in my ear. “If I were a young officer
trying to get lucky with you, I would have laid on the lines about wanting to
protect my country and work for freedom and liberty and the American way of
life.”

 “It would have worked.” Cracking a
smile, I steal a quick kiss from him. “So why the SEALs, then? That couldn’t
have been to break free from your family.”

“No way. I did a little growing up in my
first years as an officer, and I fell in love with the SEAL ideals. I wanted to
make a difference. Be part of the elite. Challenge myself. But more than
anything, I think I just loved being so focused on the mission. And once it’s
in you, it’s in there for life.”

He frowns slightly, and I fear I might
have hit a sore spot. “I can see why you love the water,” I say, changing the
subject. “If I could just lift the Chesapeake Bay and drop it down next to
Newton’s Creek, I’d be a very happy woman.”

“You really like it there?” he asks.

I’m not certain, but I almost sense
disbelief in his tone. I lean back in my seat, thinking about the wide, open
skies and rich farmland stretching out for miles in front of me. The peace of
it. The people. The memories of my dad in every square mile. “Yeah, I do. It just
seems like home to me. Being there makes me feel like I have a little piece of
my family back the way it once was. I know it doesn’t make much sense.”

“Funny,” he says quietly.

“What’s funny?”

“I left Newton’s Creek to get away from
my family, and you went to Newton’s Creek to recapture yours.”

I snuggle into the crook of his shoulder,
wondering how it is that I can feel more like I’ve found my home when I’m close
to him, than even when I moved to Newton’s Creek. I want to tell him, but I
won’t.

I probably never will.