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Hell, I'd almost missed out on it because of my own damn fears. The thought distracted me from keeping my release at bay. My balls drew up tight. Bright streaks of colors flashed behind my closed eyelids, and my body jerked through the intense pressure shooting out my cock.

Richard came for the second time. His ass gripped me in the vise his body had become. Matthew followed. I'd never been in a threesome where we all came in such rapid succession.

Matthew whispered his thanks in my ear, pulled out of me, and landed on the bed next to Richard. I groaned as my body protested the loss. My chest tightened when my own dick slipped out of Richard. I had to think for a moment before it came to me.

Disappointment.

I yanked the condom off and fell onto the bed, my hand draped over Richard's chest, my legs mingled with his. I was relaxed, soaring, at peace.
And still touching him
. I was losing complete control. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to leave the warmth of them. I didn't want to go back to thinking anything I'd done was a mistake. I grazed a hand over his chest hair. My fingers brushed the scar.

“Goddamn.” Richard's loose voice didn't quite form complete syllables.

I lifted up and looked down at him. “Good?”

“Beyond good.”

“Uh-huh,” Matthew said. His signature laugh followed.

I fell back onto the bed. “Hey, kid, you go by anything other than Matthew? Matt?”

“Nah. Guess I don't seem like a Matt. I've noticed you two like to call me ‘kid’ more than anything else.”

Richard lifted his head. “No one else at the club's ever called you that? You're one of the younger ones here.”

“Nope. Just you two.” Matthew studied the ceiling. “No one else really calls me anything. I mean... I can't remember the last time someone might have said my name in bed.”

Richard leaned over and pressed a kiss on his lips. “Matthew.” He spoke the name in a drawn out tone. “You have rocked my world these three nights together. You and Luke.”

Matthew gripped his lower lip with his teeth.

Richard sprawled out on his back again and crossed his arms behind his head. “Damn. I still didn't get the kid in my ass.”

Matthew gasped.

“Maybe next time, huh?” I said.

Richard lifted his head again. “Yeah?”

I sighed. “Yeah.” Whether or not I understood it yet, I wasn't done with either of them. I'd already broken my basic rule to be with them more than once. Pushing the line a little further didn't seem the sacrifice it once had.

Richard sat up and leaned against the headboard. “Well, then, I have a proposition.”

Richard sat taller. “I'm reluctant to mention it. It's not always what guys at the club are looking for. Not when playing in a threesome.”

Matthew rolled onto his stomach and stared at him.

Richard reached out and cupped Matthew's cheek in his hand. “I think you might agree. I like your eagerness, your curiosity. You hold nothing back. I worry you're too young.” He glanced around the room before his gaze settled back on Matthew. “Three men— won't be easy. I don't want to see you get hurt.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know that. It's who I am. I worry, especially about those who mean something to me.”

Matthew rose onto his elbows. “I mean something to you?”

“You're starting to. Both of you.” Richard looked to me. “You'll want to get dressed and run out of the room the minute I mention my idea. I don't want to see you leave before you give us a chance.”

I did want to get the hell out, and he hadn't given any details.

“I'd like to see you,” he said, “outside of the club. I'd like to see if we can be more than what we have been.”

Matthew's mouth gaped open. He bounced onto his knees, his head tilting, his wavy hair falling over one eye. “Are you asking us out? Both of us?”

Meeting at the club again— I might have agreed to that. But a goddamn date?

I leaped off the bed before Richard finished his nod.

“Dammit.” He scrambled to the edge of the bed.

I threw my pants on, shirt and shoes in hand, and bolted for the door. He grabbed my arm and shoved me against the wall.

“How well I know you already.” His voice was full of mockery. Yet, there was fear in his eyes, and the look enticed me. The man didn't want me to leave.

I tossed the reaction aside. “Let me go.” I shook my arm free.

“But I don't think you want me to.”

“You have no idea what I want.”

“I think I do. If you'll give me a chance to show you.”

Matthew placed a hand on my shoulder. “Give us both a chance.”

“Then you'll agree?” Richard asked him.

“I'll try it.”

“That's all I'm asking for.” He kissed the younger man.

I didn't bother to hide the shock from my face. “You said you didn't want a relationship.”

“I know what I said. I wanted to avoid getting close to anyone again. Three nights with the two of you, and I can't avoid it any longer.” He spoke the last of his words to the floor. “I don't do well alone.”

“You lied.”

“No! I came back to the club the second night to find someone else, to get you out of my head. It took me all of two seconds when I saw you to realize I didn't want anyone else. And I sure didn't want to see either of you walk upstairs with other guys.”

I turned away. I didn't want him to see it'd been the same for me.

“But now,” he said, “I wish to explore what we're doing here. See if we can make this more than sex at the club.”

Matthew lowered his head to where his chin rested upon his chest. “It's been fun, the club, the guys, you two, but I don't want it to always be like this.”

Richard lifted the man's face. “I know.” He caressed Matthew's cheek. With his large hands he could be gentle, tender, and could give so much in a caring touch. Even if I'd wanted to, I had no idea how to give that to someone.

Richard pulled the smaller man into his arms until Matthew's head lay on his chest. I stared at them, uncertain for a moment what was odd about their posture. I focused in on every point where their bodies touched.

Hugging. With no intention of it becoming anything more.

Richard reached for me with his other hand. I flinched. Fucking, sucking, getting off in any way he wanted— even kissing and touching— was one thing. I couldn't let him hold me.

His arm fell to his side. “I want us to get to know each other and explore our wants and needs together.”

I stared at the arm he had draped over Matthew's shoulders. “Three guys can't— ”

“Look at me.”

I took a deep breath and lifted my gaze to his.

“They can. We can. I like you both. I want to get to know you. I want to see if what I've been feeling could be something.”

“I told you I don't... I don't do this.” I let my head fall back to the wall behind me. “I keep trying to figure out what it is about you two that's better than the men I was with the week before and the ones the week before that.”

“It just is. We all feel it.”

Matthew nodded.

Richard's gaze scanned mine.

“Can I think it over?”
Shit
. What was I going to agree to?

“Of course. Take some time. We can meet up again. But I won't sleep with you again until you decide.” He spoke the words with kindness despite the statement they made. “I'm not going to keep having sex with you. Not when it's going to start meaning something to me and not to you.”

“We go on a date or the fucking's off limits?”

“Yes. I want you, Luke. All of you.”

He stepped back and let go of Matthew in the process. The smaller man watched Richard pull away from him, his large eyes confused, lost. Would he keep away from Matthew if I didn't agree?

I reached out. My hand found Richard's hip with no hesitation. Even with my mind protesting what it could all mean, I tugged him to me.

An open palm hit the wall beside my ear as he pressed in close. The scent of sweat and cum and his musky cologne overpowered me.

“Or maybe you can answer now? Can you give it a try, Luke?”

My fingers dug into his hip. I tried to settle on one rational reason why I shouldn't agree. The reasons would come later, of course, at home alone. But at that moment, I had nothing to say in protest. I wanted to keep fucking them, which was reason enough for me to leave the room and not look back, but the idea of not being with them again kept me from seeing any of the reasons why I never got serious. Kept me from thinking about my father and the ways he could hurt me— or them.

“What the hell am I doing?” I exhaled. “All right.”

Relief flooded Richard's face. “You still in, Matthew?”

“Have you taken a look at you guys? I'm in.” He laughed.

Richard and I stared at each other for another moment. What was that look? Nervousness? Excitement? Fear? I glanced at Matthew, and he grinned.

I planted a kiss upon his lips. “You're sweet and addictive.” I could not shut up.

“I agree,” Richard said.

Matthew wrinkled his nose and pouted. The expression didn't look right on him. I cupped his balls. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped my arm. His soft moan and the twitch of his cock were enough to get my own dick back in service.

Richard had other ideas. He strolled across the room and sat on the bed. “Does tomorrow night work for you guys?”

My head hit the wall behind me, and I groaned.

Matthew rubbed a hand up and down my arm. “It'll be okay, Luke. It'll be like tonight, only we'll eat food and talk before the sex.” Matthew raised his eyebrows and bobbed his head. He bounced to the bed and sat on the edge. “I'm free tomorrow night.”

“Good. Luke?”

“Can we make it late? I've gotta look at new apartments.”

“You're not moving to get away from us are you?”

“Shut up.”

Richard huffed out a short laugh. “Late's fine by me. If you want, we can have dinner at my place. I'll cook.”

I retreated from the wall, grabbed an armchair from near the bar, and sat. “That's fine with me.”

“Me too,” Matthew said. “Might be easier than going out somewhere. You know... three guys; might look weird.”

“I don't care what we look like,” Richard said. “But for a first date, you might be right. I'll give you my address before we leave. Say nine o'clock?”

Matthew agreed.

These two were crazy. A threesome? Dating?

“Sounds fine,” I said.

Richard watched me. “I have one more thing I'd like to add.”

What now?

“If we're going to try this, I need you both to agree— no sex outside the three of us. I won't date you unless I know you're not doing someone else. That's not my thing. Also, if this does work out, I'd like to be able to fuck you bare someday, and I need to know you haven't been sleeping around.”

I never played bareback. Never. And I had no experience being faithful to anyone. Not since college. Since Tim. Could I do what Richard asked? And did I want to? I craved them, more than anyone I'd met in the last fifteen years, but could I say no to sex?

Matthew's dark hair swayed with the enthusiastic nod. For a moment, it didn't seem like his head would ever stop moving.

A throb built in my temples. My eyes blurred a bit with the pain. I stared at the floor in front of my chair. Specks of muted color seemed to dance and squirm in the light-colored carpet. Maybe they were the sperm of previous occupants, still writhing around in the hope of fulfilling their biological destiny. Gay sperm probably had no clue when they shot out of the body their fate was much less noble than creating life— yet, far more satisfactory, in my opinion. A laugh leaked out, like a balloon losing air in a slow hiss. The fictional sperm halted.

I was still laughing when I looked up. Richard's brow was furrowed, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped before him. Matthew bit at his lip again. His face was angled down, but his eyes watched me.

Right. Serious discussion.

“You think you can just give up other men?” I asked. “No more nights at the club? No more blowjobs?”

“I've done it before,” Richard said. “And who says I'm giving up blowjobs? I'm expecting a lot of those.”

Matthew laughed.

Richard looked his way and nodded, a huge smirk on his face.

“All right,” I said. “No outside sex.”

Well, fuck
. I was as surprised as they appeared to be. Maybe with the verbal agreement, I could keep my word.

Maybe.

Richard leaned back. “Good. Tomorrow night. My place. Dinner. Conversation. Nothing to stress about.” His thick cock rested on his leg. Not hard, but not soft either. “I believe we already know we go nicely together in the sack, so there won't be any surprises there.” He flashed a wicked grin.

“Uh-huh.” I stood, chucked my pants, and took a few steps toward the bed. “But I'd be willing to test that again tonight.” I'd just agreed to give up sex with anyone else. I had no qualms admitting how much I wanted them. I didn't wait for an answer.

Without another discussion point or another word, we came together. Richard's groans and Matthew's pleading words filled the room, surrounded me, and only then did I realize how much I'd missed hearing them.

The sex wasn't a heated exchange of lust. It was a slow confirmation of the arrangement we'd made— we were flying, floating, coming, and landing together as one, not three.

And that didn't scare me, not while in bed with them, no matter how intense the sex had been.

What did scare the shit out of me was what I'd be doing with them the next night.

I rang the doorbell of the townhouse.

A date. There was no way it was going to go well.

Except I wanted it to. A part of me I'd hidden for a long time had surfaced, a part that hadn't cared for the last fifteen years of my promiscuous life.

The door opened, and Matthew smiled at me. “Come on in. Richard's in the kitchen.”

“Sorry I'm late. Had a few apartments to look at.”
And I had to take three different subway routes to be sure I wasn't followed.