More Than One: A Novel (7 page)

              I needed to change the subject. I already felt bad about telling him that much. I thought it would make me feel a little better to get it off my chest, but I actually felt worse.

              “Anyway, I don't want to talk about that anymore. What have you been doing all day?” I asked.

              He pulled me over to him and I laid my head on his chest.

              “I told you already. I was sitting here missing you.”

              “Yeah, right,” I said and kissed him on the cheek.

              “Let's watch a movie,” he said.

              “Sure.”

              He got up and put a movie in the DVD player. Then he turned out all the lights and sat back down.

              Jamie still hadn't texted me, so I assumed that she was getting the rest she needed. I didn't want to text again for fear she might wake up, so I let it go. I knew she would call me when she woke up or let me know if something was wrong.

              Time had passed by so fast while I was deep in thought, I hadn't noticed the movie at all. My mind was flashing back through all the things that happened that week. Derrick looked worn out so I decided to call it a night.

              “Hey babe, I'm gonna go. You look tired and I just wanted to come over and see you for a bit,” I said.

              “Why are you leaving so soon? You always lay with me.”

              “I know, but I have so much going on and I can't focus. I thought being here would put my mind at ease, but it hasn't.”

              “Well, I'm sorry to hear that. You know you can talk to me about anything. That's what I'm here for,” he said.

              “I know baby, but I just need to get back to my room and sort some things out. I promise I will be good as new tomorrow.”

              “Okay, I guess I'll let you go,” he said as he started playing with my fingers again. “You know I really don't want you to leave.”

              “We'll see each other tomorrow. I seriously need to get back.”

              I didn't want to bring up Jamie's name again. I figured if he knew the reason why I was leaving was mainly because of her, he would be upset or at least hurt.

              We both stood. He gave me the saddest look I've ever seen. It almost convinced me to stay. But as much as I cared about him, I had to admit, I cared about Jamie's well-being even more.

              I kissed him. I wanted to kiss him again, but I knew it would make it harder for me to go. So I quickly turned to leave. He walked me to the door in silence and then gave me a hug before he opened the door.

              “See you tomorrow babe,” I said walking to my car.

              He stood in the doorway as I cranked up my car and backed out of his driveway. When I put the car in drive, I glance back at him and he waved. Then I headed back to the dorm.

              When I got back to my room, I felt silly because Jamie was still asleep. She still looked peaceful and I realized I was worried for nothing. I sat down on my bed, crossed my legs and watched her as she slept.

              I didn't imagine I would be freaking out this much. I wanted to be there for her, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. I don't want to let her go at this alone, but I had to draw the line somewhere or I was going to be in worse shape than she was.

Chapter Seven

Jamie

Over the next couple of days, my attitude was unusually light. I followed Dr. Silverman’s instructions and for the most part, the nightmare’s had stopped. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was a little more stubborn though.

Rach and I talked more about the dreams, seeing if there was anything there we could decipher. I also went to the library and researched dream books to better understand how it all worked.

We even tried acting out some of the dreams from my journal. I didn’t think it accomplished much. I felt ridiculous, but Rach suggested we try everything at least once to see if it would help.

At one point, I played the victim from my dreams and it filled me with sorrow trying to visualize how that person felt their last moments alive. I couldn’t imagine what was going through their mind. I figured they were probably thinking of all the things and people they would miss. Most of all, the people who would miss them.

We wrote down everything, every little detail about the theories we came up with and just general stuff about how I was feeling. Rach was really helpful by being there for me. She allowed me to vent my feelings to her and tell her about my fears, then she helped me work through them.

The nightmares stopped coming, but the darkness was still there, permeating my whole being. It made me feel numb, but I had gotten used to it, so I overlooked it.

In one of the books I read on the theories of dreams, it stated that when you sleep, it helps rejuvenate the body and mind from the day’s turmoil. Dreaming was a way of unconsciously going through the day’s events and helping put them past you. I assumed it meant closure.

I had no closure from my dreams, because they were recurring dreams; dreams that were linked to real murders. When I didn’t have the nightmares, I didn’t dream at all, so I couldn’t go over the events of my day. Since there was always nothingness and the fact that I was aware of it deprived me of my needed rejuvenation.

I was pretty much drained of any kind of emotions or feelings. All this was written down in my journal, of course, and it helped me sift through my thoughts when I needed to.

It was Thursday, the day before we were to leave for Kansas. Rach and I were already packed and ready for the trip. My mom sent me the itinerary the day before and we were scheduled to leave at nine in the morning.

I was worried I wouldn’t be able to take off work since it was short notice, but one of the other managers, Dana, gladly took over my shifts. She said I looked like I needed to get away.

Today was a slow day and my classes seemed to drag on forever. I really hadn’t paid any attention in any of them, other than taking random notes of things I actually heard. I knew once I got back from Kansas, I was going to have to buckle down and study to keep my grades at the steady C I was maintaining.

That night when I made it home from work, I felt exhausted. I wanted to go to bed early since we had to be up for our flight the next morning.

Rach was out with Derrick and she promised she would be back before it was time to leave. Ash had already left around eight this morning to go see his parents. It was just me.

I turned out all the lights and tuned into some random program on the television. After the second episode went off, I went to sleep.

That next morning, I woke feeling rested. I was so thankful for the peaceful sleep. I didn’t have any nightmares and even the darkness didn’t seem so bad.

I got up and stretched. I looked around for Rach and she wasn’t there. I flipped open my cell phone to call her, when I heard the toilet flush. Soon after, Rach came out of the bathroom, already dressed.

“Come on, get dressed before we’re late and miss our flight. It was really cool of your parents to buy my ticket. You did remember to thank them for me, didn’t you?” Rach rambled on, obviously in a chipper mood.

I couldn’t get a word in edge wise, so I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I had already picked out the clothes I was going to wear today, just in case.

I threw my clothes on while Rach was on the phone calling us a cab. As soon as she was off the phone, she looked at me.

“I take it your night went well,” I said.

“It looks like yours did, too. You look so rested Jay, that’s awesome. Maybe Dr. Silverman’s techniques did help,” she said.

“I am rested and I have to admit, it feels nice.”

“Great! Let’s get this stuff down stairs before the cab gets here. I’m so ready to get out of Georgia, aren’t you?”

“I am, too. I can’t wait to see my parents. Hopefully there will be some kind of festival in town and we can go hang out.”

“Sounds like a plan. Just one thing though,” she said, face smooth, “let’s enjoy this weekend. I need you to try to relax. If you don’t want to tell your parents about all this, you need to at least seem happy so they won’t be suspicious.”

“I got it and you’re right. I’m leaving all that drama here and I will use this time to rejuvenate myself since my dreams won’t do it for me,” I said. Rach knew exactly what I meant.

She hugged me and then turned to get her bags. We didn’t have to pack much since we were only going to be gone for three days. I looked around the room and collected all my necessities and then we headed out.

Once in the cab, I looked out the window and took this time to calm my nerves. I leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath.

We made it to the airport and went through the normal security rituals until we were passed the security checkpoint. We only had to wait for about forty-five minutes before the plane started to board.

I got on the plane and sat down in my seat, which was by the window. Rach was next to me pulling out her MP3 player and putting on her headphones.

After the initial enjoyment of the plane ascending wore off, I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the two-hour flight.

We arrived at the Kansas City International airport around eleven forty. I spent half of the time on the plane telling myself to be calm and to try to enjoy myself this weekend. After we got our bags and went out front, I called my mom to see where they were.

“Hey mom, we made it. Where are you guys,” I said when she answered the phone.

“We are out front. Where are you honey? I’ll tell your dad to pull up some,” she answered.

“We just walked out front, what car are you in? I’ll try to find you.”

“Dad wanted the car to be a surprise, so we will find you. Just stay where you are and we will come back around.”

“Okay, we won’t go anywhere,” I said.

She hung up the phone, but not before I heard her tell my dad to turn around and to hurry up.

“So, where are they? What car are they in?” Rach asked.

“I don’t know. It’s a big secret. My mom said that the car was a surprise and they were about to pull back around,” I said.

“Cool.”

We stood there for about five minutes watching all the cars pass by, looking for my parents. I wondered what kind of car my dad got this time. Every time he would buy something new, his only comment was that he was trying to keep up with the times. I could only imagine what the
in
thing was for him now.

A minute more passed by and a silver masterpiece pulled up in front of us. I didn’t know who it was until the window rolled down.

“Mom!” I yelled.

“I know what you’re thinking, but your dad really wanted this car,” she said while she was carefully getting out.

“This car is amazing,” Rach said.

“Yeah dad, you know I have to drive this before I leave,” I said.

“I’ll think about it,” my dad answered getting out of the car.

My dad,
the
Dr. Martin Whitlock, was a tall, handsome, worldly man. His strong features overpowered the fact that he had a soft heart. He was always clean shaven and dressed like some preppy oversized teenager. His eyes were like endless pools of knowledge, a river of education streaming through his veins. It was all he knew and I could always see it dancing around in his brown eyes. At six feet, he towered over us. I wish I had gotten my height from him, but like everything else, I got that from my mom.

They both embraced me with a hug and instantly it felt like home again. It was like how it was before all the drama and stress. I was elated. My mom found her way to Rach and gave her a hug as well. My dad was still holding on to me.

“What kind of car is this?” I asked.

“An Audi R8 Spyder,” he said with a big smile on his face. “As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to get it. This car comes with everything. I might let you drive it before you go. You can test the speed for me. Your mom won’t let me go any faster than sixty-five on the highway.” He leaned over and whispered the last sentence.

“I sure won’t and neither will Jamie,” my mom said.

“So Rachel, how is school?” My dad turned to talk to her and he approached her for a hug.

“It’s okay. I was ready for a break though. Thanks for inviting me,” she said.

“I understand. I felt the same way when I was in school, but it’ll be over before you know it.”

After we got all the formalities out of the way, we threw our things in the trunk and headed home.

I loved being here. This place was so nice growing up. At first, my parents were upset that I decided to go to school in Georgia. They wanted me to stay at home. I almost changed my mind and went to college here, but the adventurous side of me outweighed everything else, and I left anyway. I really wanted to experience life on my own. I still had a lot of love for my hometown though.

We made it to the house within thirty minutes. It had only been a few months since I was home, but I still felt a tinge of nostalgia.

“Let’s put our things up and go see what’s in the frig. I’m starving,” Rach said, cutting into my thoughts.

“Okay,” I replied.

When we made it to the kitchen, my mom was already there making lunch; grilled ham and cheese, another of my favorites.

“Hey mom, what’s going on this weekend? Are there any festivals we can go to?” I asked.

“I don’t know dear, you’ll have to ask your father.”

“Where is he?”

“He should be in his office. Lunch will be ready soon. You girls just relax and I’ll bring it out to you,” my mom said.

“Thanks mom,” I said kissing her cheek, “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

We walked out of the kitchen and Rach went to the couch and turned on the television.

“I’ll wait here until you get back,” she said.

I walked around the corner to my dad’s office. When I walked in, it reminded me of being at Dr. Silverman’s office. The colors were almost the same, with the same array of books. On his desk were pictures of my mom and me.

My dad was sitting behind his desk reading the newspaper. He was always reading something. I guess the habits from his college days were hard to break. He went to school for so many years and got his PhD in Biology and Physiology. He has studied different fields of medicine and reproductive biology, but Physiology was his favorite. I asked him why he studied so many different fields and his reply was, knowledge was like a drug to him. He felt that there was always something new to learn even after you’ve passed one course. Like so many before him, he felt that learning was what helped the world evolve.

He has always been an inspiration to me. He looks at the world with a sanguine attitude. He was a firm believer that everything happened for a reason and that from great turmoil and destruction, something beautiful comes out of it. I like to think that way as well; that in the end, goodness prevailed. I admired him so much for many things.

“Hey dad, you busy?” I asked.

“No, come on in. Have a seat and talk to me. How are things?” he replied.

It was easier to be happy here, almost like my house had a protective bubble around it. I felt so safe. Even the negative thoughts and nightmares had no effect on me here.

“Everything is okay. I’m just glad to take a break and see you guys.”

“So, everything is good at school? How are your grades?”

I looked away. I didn’t want my dad to be disappointed in me, but I couldn’t lie to him about this.

“I’m doing alright. My grades slipped a little, but I promise by the end of the semester, they will be back up,” I said.

“Slipped? Define slipped.”

“Nothing below a C. Which means it won’t take much to get it back up to a B,” I said. He raised his eyebrow. “I mean an A.” He winked at me and went back to reading.

“Why are your grades slipping? Are you doing too much? Is the job taking away from your focus?” he asked.

“No dad, everything is fine. My job is great. I promise I will do better.”

He wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t press the issue. I quickly tried to divert the conversation so he wouldn’t think about it anymore.

“I actually came in to ask you if you knew what was going on this weekend; like any festivals or something.”