More Than Scars (16 page)

His whole body tensed against mine. “Why?”

I drew in a breath and with it his scent. The soft cloth of his coat brushed my cheek as I pulled back, but did not look up. “I thought you would want me to leave after what I did.”

I felt him draw in a breath. “No,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to leave me, us, the girls.” I sensed him shake his head. “That’s the last thing I want. You have been what is best for them. I have watched Amelia blossom and Brianne smiles all the time…it is good with you here.”

Damn! Here came the tears! They began their trickle. I was breaking his rules. “I’m sorry to cry…” I felt my tummy explode with butterflies when one of his scarred thumbs brushed a tear from my cheek. It felt like a brand and again I was holding my breath and trying to breath at the same time.

“If I ever talk to you again like I did in my office this morning…you have my permission to slap me across my face. You are not just under my employ Miss Meadows. You feel like family.” His fingers made quick work of the other tears.

“Can I get that in writing?” I choked on a laugh.

He chuckled too.

“You can’t hide anything anymore from me…about the girls. I have to know certain things,” I said softly. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“I will tell you if there is.”

“Are you sure?”

“You will stay?”

I smiled and swallowed hard. “So, I’m not fired?”

“Just don’t do it again,” he growled. He leaned down in his signature manner and his lips were at my ear. “I may not be able to fire you…but I may have to find a way to punish you.”

I blinked as he briskly walked away. My cheeks burned warmly. His spoken words sounded more like a promised benefit than a threat. The way he spoke in my ear was more intense than any look any man had ever given me…that was talent!

I made my way into the house slowly. I was quite surprised with the outcome of the day. I hurried up the stairs and into the girl’s room. Mary was bathing the girls and they were chattering on and on about the street fair.

Mary smiled at me with bubbles in her white hair. “You guys had quite the adventure I hear,” she laughed. She lifted her brows. “How are you?”

My smile widened. “Wonderful,” I said in truth.

“Did you tell Daddy all about it?” Amelia asked from beneath her soap beard.

“That’s for you to tell him tonight when he comes to say goodnight,” I assured her. “He just wanted to make sure everything went okay but I left the details to you and Brianne!”

Brianne’s blue eyes twinkled. “Can I tell him about Al?”

I smiled. “Of course!”

“Good
cause I’m gonna marry him!”

Amelia frowned.
“Uh uh, me!”

Brianne sighed. “Okay, we both can!”

Mary and I shared a smile.

“Go ahead and get yourself a bath
Nerissa. I will get them in their pajamas.”

My face must have registered relief because she waived me on. “We will cuddle on the couch and read,” I promised the girls as I headed out.

I picked up my phone on my dresser and texted Al quickly that all was well. My phone buzzed in my hand and I jumped. The number was unfamiliar but I answered anyway. “Hello?”

“Hello, friend.”

“Ian.”

“Sound a little less disappointed, please
Nerissa.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

I smiled back at the phone. “You are keeping me from something.”

“Pardon me.”

“It’s okay,” I sighed. “So you heard?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said with sincerity.

“I’m good. Liam was…upset, but he’s good. He didn’t fire me, so that is a good sign.”

“You said Liam.”

I smiled.

He chuckled into the phone. “You could set the house on fire and he wouldn’t fire you. That is a true fact!”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “He said some really lovely things tonight. Don’t taint it Ian.”

“I won’t. I am happy you are there, friend. You are good for our family! I am glad you are still around.”

“I am too,” I said sincerely.

“I will see you guys Saturday. Liam has me in meetings until four. I will be there around seven when it’s just getting dark. We will build the fire for the girls. It will be fun! Maybe I can get him to come? Yeah?”

“That would be nice.”
Never meant anything more. Liam needed more time out of his comfort zone. “Thank you Ian.”

“Sure
Rissa. You enjoy your evening!”

Ian’s happy nature warmed me and I was smiling again. I ended the call and hurried to take my bath before I could be interrupted again.

Curled up on the big couch in the girl’s room, one girl under each arm, and a Little House on the Prairie book in my hand…life could not have felt more right! We immersed ourselves in the story for some time before I realized the time.

I hope there had been enough time between the
sugar as I escorted them to their beds. Amelia hopped in happily. That girl never had issues sleeping. She accepted her kiss and hugged my neck. Brianne explained why she should be allowed to stay up but I shot down each idea gently. Sometimes she hated to go to sleep.

“You okay?” I whispered to her, as I tucked her in.

“Are you going to keep your door open?”

“I always do,” I promised. “If you get scared, you come in and if I’m not awake, you wake me. Okay?” I kissed her forehead and she too hugged my neck.

“Is Daddy coming to say good night?” she asked as I turned out her light beside her bed. A night light glowed in the corner.

A soft knock sounded at the door. “That will be him now,” I said softly. “You two have sweet dreams.” I hurried out of the room and into my own.

Well, tucking them in and trying to settle them had been useless because the instant their Dad came in they were fairly jumping out of their beds. They had to tell him about their day. And what an exciting day it had been.

Liam was quiet giving
a “Hmm” or and “Oh” now and then.

“
Nerissa brought her brother,” Brianne cut in. “He’s a policeman Daddy and he was there to watch over us! Nerissa said he watched over her when she was little and her Daddy couldn’t! He was so handsome Daddy…just as handsome as Nerissa is pretty! And he kept us safe! He held our hands…rode on the rides with us! He was very nice! He told us not to trust anyone unless You, Nerissa or Uncle Ian said we could!”

“And he said damn,” Amelia interjected.

I had to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh.

Liam cleared him throat. “Well, he sounds pretty smart to me.”

“We’re going to marry him,” Brianne continued.

Liam chuckled at this. “You are now? Well, I suppose marrying a fine policeman wouldn’t be such a bad thing! He’d keep you safe!”

Amelia was jumping on the bed…I heard the undeniable squeak. She did this when she was overly happy.

“So you guys had fun today?”

“Yes!” they squealed.

“Maybe you’d like to do it again?”

I sat up on my bed. I felt a glimmer of hope.

“Yes!” they chorused again.

“Maybe with Miss Meadows and Uncle Ian?”

Someone clapped their hands…maybe it was both of them. “Yes!”

“I will think about it,” he promised. “Amelia, stop jumping,” he chuckled, and she obeyed because the squeaking stopped.

“Daddy
are Rissa and Uncle Ian going to get married?” This came from Brianne.

Liam was quiet.

I wanted to shout “NO!” from my room but my mouth had gone dry.

“What makes you ask that
Bri?”

“They laugh together,” she said softly. “Uncle Ian thinks she’s pretty.”

“Uncle Ian said pissed,” Amelia announced.

“Amie,” Liam growled.

“Ooops,” she giggled.

“They are friends,” Liam explained to Brianne. “Friends make each other happy.” His voice didn’t sound very convinced though. I felt like he wanted to ask more…he knew I was in the next room…of course he knew I would hear it all. He wasn’t going to ask anything more. I wouldn’t know the true nature of his thoughts.

“Ian said…” Amelia began.

“Amie,” Liam warned.

“Not bad Daddy. He just told Rissa…You said Liam!”

My cheeks flamed. I wanted to crawl under my blankets.

“Liam? My name?”

“Yes, she said, I talked to Liam,” Amelia said in a sing
songy voice. “She said it was ugly. What was ugly Daddy?”

He cleared his throat. “When someone say’s a talk was ugly…it usually means a fight,” he explained.

“You fought with Rissa?” Brianne’s voice was indignant.

“It’s all in the past,” he assured her. “We made up.”

“Did you kiss and make up?” Brianne was teasing him.

I still blushed.

“Hmm, no…didn’t know that was an option,” he teased back.

“Daddy…” Brianne’s voice lifted with uncertainty. “Will you marry
Rissa?”

I did gasp this time and slapped a hand over my mouth.

“Bedtime,” he announced.

“Daddy!”

“No more questions tonight! You had a busy day and it’s time to get some sleep!”

“Daddy!
Just answer the one last question,” Brianne insisted. Her little voice was soft and pleading.

I heard him sigh and the sag of the bed under his weight as he sat down. “
Bri, look at me. What do you see?”

“My Daddy.”

He had to have smiled. I was smiling.

“What do you see in my face?”

“Brown eyes?”

I almost hiccupped on a sob. Oh to be without guile
like a child!

“What do others see?”

“Your mark?”

“Not many can see past my mark.”

“Rissa could,” she whispered. “I know she could Daddy. Rissa is good.”

I folded my knees up to my chest to hold in any cries that wanted to escape me.

“I don’t want her to have to look past me,” he said softly. “If…that is…if we…if she and I were…if it were that she and I…” He drew in a breath. “I don’t want anyone to ever have to get use to me. I don’t want anyone to have to just settle for me.”

“Daddy!”

“You will understand when you are older Bri,” he sighed.

“I want to understand now.”

I wanted to say the same thing! I wanted to understand as well! What if I wanted to choose to get use to him? Truth be told…I had never been drawn to anyone more than Liam Byrne. Maybe part of it was his mystique. He had a heart…and he had a voice that I couldn’t get enough of! That would be enough! It wouldn’t be settling if the man you wanted turned your knees to jelly just at the sound of his voice!

“Good night my loves.
Sweet dreams.”

“Daddy what if the bad dreams come?”

“I will be here,” he whispered. “Always.”

I heard him move to Amelia’s bed and whisper words of love to her as well. He paused. I heard him sigh out a breath. “Sweet dreams Miss Meadows,” he whispered.

“Sweet dreams,” I whispered back. I listened for his retreat, but he stood where he was for a moment as if deciding on an action and then he left, closing the girls door behind him.

Chapter 9 That Night

              Saturday did arrive and along with it, the children’s excitement one hundred fold. They did love their Uncle Ian and any time spent with them was a good time. I spent the day gathering what we would need for the festivities. Went to the grocery store myself…even if Stewart insisted on sending someone and then the girls insisted on going! I made it out of my own and bought the goodies on my own.

             
Liam had made himself scarce the last few days. He was busy preparing for the upcoming masquerade…not so much the party planning as the personal relations portion of it. I had a feeling he was avoiding me. That night had been awkward…and surprisingly intimate. He had to have felt as vulnerable as I had. Other than his good night to the girls and his spoken goodnight to me…it had been two days since I had “seen” him. Well, one and a half. Thursday evening was a long time ago. Hearing his voice was wonderful…I just hadn’t realize how much it meant just seeing his presence…sensing it…even just his scent. I was in far too deep.

             
I took a trip to the stables with the girls to visit the horses. I needed to see Zosimo and to apologize to Baxter. He was in the forgiving mood and accepted my piece of apple as a peace offering.