More Than Scars (5 page)

             
I nodded. I would get no deep answers today, but there was the possibility of the future. My eyes lifted to the tray. The scarred hands were clenched on the edge of the desk, as though he struggled. This was a lot for him. “Can I ask one thing?”

             
“One,” he agreed. His voice sounded thick.

             
“How long ago was it? That you lost your wife?”

             
Again silence. “You don’t have to say. I’m sorry if I’ve over stepped…”

             
“Two years,” he whispered.

             
I bit the inside of my cheek, stopping the flow of words. His soft spoken words were not spoken without struggle. I nodded. “I knew it was recent.”

             
“How?”

             
“Brianne.”

I saw his long fingers unclench at my words. Had he been afraid I meant he had shown weakness, and that is how I knew?

              “Yes, she still remembers her.”

             
I gave him a nod. “Helping with the children…that’s an example of things I’ll need to know. I will not push you to give me more. I won’t pry into your privacy. I understand what it’s like to go through a trauma, and everyone wants to know every detail. When really...it’s none of their business. But if there is anything you think I should know….”

             
“Thank you Miss Meadows.” His voice was low. “I will.”

             
I pressed my lips together. My fingers clenched reflexively at my knees, and I blew out a slow breath to calm myself.

             
“Do I make you nervous?”

             
I shook my head and smiled.

“Good. I would really hate if I did,” he sighed.

“I make myself nervous,” I blurted.

             
I heard a smile in his voice. “You make yourself nervous? How?”

             
“I really want to respect your wishes. I just am scared I will slip and look at you. It’s strange not being able to put a face to the voice.  A very pleasant voice mind you. I understand why you don’t want anyone to look at you. Well partly….” I blushed, and my tongue ran away with me again. “If I had a face like yours I would be upset if someone scarred it too. I just can’t see how….”

             
“A face like mine? What is that supposed to mean?”

             
I felt a chill at the anger in his voice. It was still low and gentle, which made it all the more scary.
              “Miss Meadows, I asked you a question.”

             
I swallowed. “I’m sorry, I spoke out of turn. It came out wrong. I meant to say, I’ve seen your picture, before the incident. And I don’t see how anything could make a face like yours ugly.” My sentence ended with a quiver. I wanted to tape my mouth closed permanently.

             
He exhaled audibly. “So you’ve seen the before?”

             
I was still painfully blushing.

             
“And what did you think if I may be so vain?”

             
“Mr. Byrne, you are my boss, I don’t think it’s proper.”

             
“I’m giving you permission to speak freely.” He shifted in his seat, leaning in. My eyes remained on the hands folded before him. The breakfast remained untouched.

             
“Honestly?”

             
“You said you want to be honest with me, so yes.”

             
My stomach had butterflies; honest to goodness butterflies trying to escape. “Flawless.” My tongue would not offer more. Of all the times it wanted to fail me! Why had I said THAT? Why couldn’t I have said attractive, or handsome? I had to say flawless? Flawless?

             
His chuckle was laced with bitterness. I could sense it. “It’s not such a flawless face now. If you want to continue thinking of me that way, imagining that face you saw in the picture, you can.”

             
My heart beat against my ribs. “I’d much rather know you by who you really are.”

             
“You would be disappointed,” he whispered.

             
“I’ve never put much stock in looks,” I argued.

             
“Yet you called me flawless…your cheeks warmed….you turned into a little school girl over a picture.”

             
“Never said I couldn’t appreciate physical beauty. I just don’t put everything into it.” I felt a full on blush now. Yes, okay, his kind of handsome could do that to me. Dark hair, deep brown eyes, which was kind of my type.

             
“I don’t have physical beauty anymore Miss Meadows, appreciate that.”

             
I swallowed hard. “I’m so sorry,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to sound….”

             
“It was your turn. I said something completely inappropriate when I first meet you. You started your first day doing so. We’re even.” He pulled in a breath. “It’s okay. This will not be the first time this subject comes up. I am sure of that.” The humor was back in his voice.

             
I peeked at the red tie, as his hands moved to straighten it. They truly were nice hands, even with the scars. My theory of nothing being able to mar a face like his cropped up in my mind. I still couldn’t believe I had said it out loud.

             
The phone at his desk rang. He picked it up right away. “Hold the call for a few minutes Ian,” he spoke with authority. “Yes, I said hold.” A pause. “I am in the middle of something right now….No, it cannot be cut short.” He growled in his chest. “I’m sorry I thought that this was my business…” His fingers thrummed angrily against the wood of the desk. ”Then you will hold for a few minutes Ian.”

             
I liked the ring to his I’m the boss tone. It was powerful. So different from the gentle tone he had just been using with me. I also felt my tummy curl because he was setting aside an important call to finish up with me. Boy I really was a school girl, wasn’t I?

             
He hung up the phone, and sighed.

             
“I really should go greet the girls,” I spoke softly, giving him an out.

             
“They are slow to rise most days, you are fine.”

             
My eyes drifted down the tie again…one he was straightening…again. A nervous habit of his? Did I make Liam Byrne nervous? Something about that excited me.

             
“Was there anything else you needed?” His voice was its deep gentle baritone once more.

             
“I wanted to thank you for the movers…for the expense card. You were truly generous.”

             
He chuckled softly.

             
“What?” I shifted nervously.

             
“Do you know, after three nanny’s you are the first to thank me? I think the others may have felt I owed them. Not that I wouldn’t do those things freely…” He chuckled again. “Thank you Miss Meadows.”

             
“Nerissa,” I offered. “And three?”

             
“Yes, Miss Meadows, three.” He didn’t elaborate. “None were good enough for my girls.”

             
I bit my lip hard. “I hope I don’t disappoint.”

             
“I don’t think you will,” he murmured softly.

             
The voice sent shivers up my spine.

             
“Now, I really must get back to my work. You have the phone to contact me?”

             
I nodded. I was disappointed I wouldn’t be in closer proximity to him maybe for a long while. It seemed being denied a voice like his was rather heart breaking. “I…thank you for seeing me. I appreciate you are busy, and I’m honored to be granted some of your time. I didn’t mean to make you miss your breakfast…or hold your call.” I got to my feet.  “I may have ruined the beginning of your day.”

I was surprised when he stood when I did. I kept my eyes on the tie, watched him smooth it, as though he had not done so seconds before. He was nervous! And he was tall! Very tall! He was easily a foot taller than me. It made it easier to not look up into the face, but harder to focus on anything else but him.

              He rounded the desk, and walked to me. I could smell the cologne he wore, and it was quite pleasing. He indicated with his hand for me to continue, and he began walking me to the door. My limbs felt suddenly rubbery with his closeness. I could feel his warmth, again catching the scent he wore….or maybe it was just him. I fought tooth and nail to keep my eyes lowered. He made it easy by staying slightly behind me. I felt the tips of his fingers at the small of my back, and nearly had to suck in a breath. Such a slight touch, but it did things to me.

             
I may have imagined the low chuckle. I was so sure he could hear my heart racing at break neck speed. He reached for the handle without a comment.

             
I sensed, more than saw him lean toward me. His lips were at my ear, and I felt a shiver. “I couldn’t have wished for a better start to my day.” His warm breath washed down the side of my neck, and my heart skipped about. Pulling the door open he said a soft, “Good luck on your first day Miss Meadows.” Then that slight contact was gone, and I was in the hallway alone. A little dazed. Whoa…that was weird.

             
I was brought back to reality by a girlish squeal.

“
Nerissa!!” Brianne was racing down the hall toward me. I smiled and held out an arm for her, pulling her in for a hug.

“Hush, your daddy is working!”

She covered her mouth. “Oops,” she giggled. “Stewart said you were up here with daddy. I snuck. Our floor is the one above. Daddy’s room is above his office, so our stomping won’t distract him up there. We’re not supposed to play on this floor,” she admitted. “And we’re not allowed in Daddy’s room upstairs. Unless we have a nightmare. I think the monsters are ascared to go in Daddies room.”

I hated that I felt a flush on my cheeks at the mention of Daddy’s room. What the hell had gotten into me?

“Do you want to see your rooms?” The blue eyes widened.

“Is Amelia down stairs?” I gently pushed a curl from her eyes. She gave me a nod. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving! How about we eat, then you show me to my rooms?”

The blue eyes lit at the prospect of being the one to show me. “Kay.” She took my hand and started me toward the stair. “We have an elevator too, but Daddy says it’s best to use the stairs.”

“Well, I agree with your Daddy.”

We made our way back to the kitchen, where Amelia was sitting on a stool at the counter, shoveling in scrambled eggs. She gave me an eggy smile.

“Amelia, you were supposed to wait for me and
Nerissa.”

At my raised brow, Mary explained that the kids hated the dining room without their dad there. So stools pulled to the counters worked for them.

“Works for me too.” I brushed a hand down Amelia’s tousled hair. “Did you eat all the eggs or are there some left for me?”

Amelia shyly ducked her head. “
There’s lots.”

I smiled at Mary.

“Good visit?”

I nodded, cocking my head quizzically.

“You just look a little flushed is all. Maybe you should sit down and eat.” I saw the twinkle in her eye, and I’m sure my blush grew.

I joined the girls to eat, and it was only childish chatter after that.

Afterwards, I was lead to my rooms…plural, and was completely blown away. A queen sized bed with the plushest comforter I have ever seen graced one side of my bedroom. There were shelves for books, a dresser that I would only be able to fill half of. I had a floor to ceiling window, which would afford me the most beautiful sunset.  The carpet was a warm brown, the walls a soft yellow. I had a setting room, complete with couch and coffee table, flat screen TV, and an entertainment system my brother would be in envy of. A walk in closet/dressing room was adjoined to my massive bathroom loaded with Jacuzzi tub! I was overwhelmed to the point of tears. My rooms here were greater in size then my whole apartment! I was informed by Stewart that I was allowed to change anything I wanted. I didn’t want to change a thing!

The
girls rooms were right next to mine. I walked through a door into a pretty princess land. Yes, this was a girl’s room. They too had a sitting room…little recliners sat before another flat screen. They had about every game console invented. There were shelves of children’s books. There were two desks, each one with a lap top. There bathroom was mermaid themed, and absolutely adorable! The suite was a little girls dream.

“We have a theatre too,” Brianne announced. “Daddy gets us movies, and we have popcorn and pop.”