Authors: Kaylee Ryan
What. The. Hell. Was. That.
Trying to get my bearings, I make my way back to my team, “the shirts”. My mind is reeling with my encounter with Aiden. The way he was looking at me. The tenderness in his eyes, in his voice.
Holy shit!
My panties are wet from three little words. Aiden has never called me angel before. It’s usually Hales and sweetheart, but that’s a southern gentleman thing. Angel, yeah that’s not.
I reach my team and catch the tail end of Allison explaining our “game plan”. Apparently, we are handing the ball off to her and she’s going to shake her ass at Liam to distract him. We all know there is no way he’s going to give anyone else the opportunity to tackle her. I throw my head back and join them in laughter. Allison, my best friend, I can always count on her, even when she doesn’t realize that I need her. Our moms head towards the line, which is also the middle of the backyard. Allison bumps my shoulder with hers.
“You okay?” I can see the question in her eyes. She has tried multiple times to talk to me about Aiden. I made the mistake a long time ago of letting her know that I have lusted after him for years. At the time, I had no idea that they were practically family, or that she would eventually marry into mine. I continue to tell her that there is nothing there, but Allie is perceptive. I need to step up my game if I plan to continue to hide my feelings for him.
Throughout the rest of the game, Aiden makes it a point to avoid me. I fight back the tears that are battling to push to the surface. I know deep down that Aiden doesn’t want me, but until this moment, I’ve pretended that he did. That he wanted me and that maybe, just maybe, at some point in the future, we would both confess our love and live happily ever after.
Yeah right!
Aiden Emerson delivered me a gigantic dose of reality. He has no desire to be, and will never be mine. His actions confuse the hell out of me. He was so sweet and tender. He called me angel. Yet, he is going out of his way to avoid me. His temporary lapse in judgment must have worked into to the conscious part of his brain, telling him he needs to stay clear.
Mission accomplished, Emerson.
Mission Accomplished.
I feel a strong arm wrap around my shoulders. A scent that is forever ingrained in my brain, surrounds me. Daddy.
“Hey, baby girl. You ready for some dinner?” He kisses the top of my head.
I wrap both arms around his waist and hug him tight. “Yeah, let’s go.” We turn to walk back towards the house; my arms still wrapped around his waist. Dad stops his strides about halfway there, halting my steps in the process.
“You okay, Hales?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.
“I’m good, dad. Just a lot of emotions over the past several weeks; I think it’s all catching up with me.” I hear laughter coming from the porch I look up and see Aiden and Liam spraying each other with the water hose. My chest tightens at the sight of Aiden. I need time to clear my head, but the four of us are always together.
Dad follows my gaze and hugs me close. “Why don’t you stay here tonight? I can drive you back tomorrow. Give you a break,” he suggests.
“You know what? That sounds like a great idea. I would love to spend more time with you and mom.”
“Come on, let’s get some dinner” he says, tugging me along with him.
We make it to the patio and everyone is already digging into the leftovers. “What took you two so long?” mom asks us.
“I was just convincing my baby girl to spend the night with us. Give us all some time to catch up,” Dad says.
I walk over and sit down beside mom; Mrs. Emerson is on the other side of her. I can’t sit by Aiden. I have tortured myself enough for one day. Mom smiles at me, she’s happy that I’m staying and that smile alone lifts some of the sadness in my heart. My parents are amazing people, and I hope to one day have a relationship like theirs.
The leftovers are just as good as they were the first time. Everyone thanks mom and dad, and Mr. and Mrs. Emerson decide it’s time to head home. They have about a two -hour drive ahead of them. We all walk them outside and say out goodbyes.
“Well, we better head out too,” Liam says. “You still staying here, Hales?”
Allison offers me a small smile. I chance a glance at Aiden and he’s watching me, the expression on his face is blank. Unreadable.
Pulling my gaze back to Liam and Allison, I answer, “Yeah, I want to hang with mom and dad tonight. Dad said he would drive me back tomorrow sometime. I need to start packing up the dorm, so I’ll get him to stop and get me some boxes on the way there.”
“That’s a good idea. Have him pick up a few extra so we can get the rest of Allie’s stuff to our place,” Liam says.
“Will do, big brother. You guys be safe,” I say, giving Liam and Allison a hug goodbye. After releasing them, they head towards the car. When I turn around, Aiden is standing right behind me. I almost knock him over; he is standing so close. He tucks a lose tendril of hair behind my ear. “You okay, angel?” he asks me.
No, I want you. “Yeah, I’m good,” I say, taking a step back. “I just want to spend some time with mom and dad. I’ll see you guys tomorrow I’m sure.”
Aiden doesn’t say anything else. He nods his head in acceptance, steps in and gives me a tight hug, and then turns and walks away. My knees are shaking and my heart is racing. Definitely need a break.
I collapse on the front porch step and watch them drive away. Tears burn the back of my eyes. I’m going to miss the three of them so much. In just a few months, we will be three hours away from each other. Not too bad as far as distance goes, but I need to get used to it. Staying here tonight is a good start. Although I hate to admit it, I think distance might be my only hope of getting over Aiden.
I hear the front door open, and footsteps cross the creaky boards of the porch. Mom sits down beside me. I rest my head on her shoulder. We sit in silence for several minutes. She reaches over and lays her hand on top of mine. “Want to talk about it?” she asks quietly.
It’s with those words that the dam breaks. Hot tears flow from my eyes as I silently cry over what I want, and what I know I’ll never have. Mom wraps her arms around me, her way of telling me that she will always be there and everything will be okay.
“You know, Aiden feels the same way about you,” she softly whispers.
I lift my head so I can see her face. “What? How?” I ask because, well, I don’t believe that he does, and how the hell does she know everything?
Mom chuckles softly. “Hales, you have had your eyes set on Aiden from the day Liam brought him home for the first time. He looks at you the same way.” She shrugs.
“Mom, he doesn’t want me. You saw how he acted today. He went out of his way to avoid me all together.”
“Yes, he did. He also looked at you like you were the air that he breathes. You were too wrapped up in avoiding him as well, to see the looks that he was giving you. You were looking at him the same way. Give him some time, sweetie. Aiden has not had these feelings as long as you have. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Jennifer and I both think you all will find your way together.”
“What? You and Mrs. Emerson have talked about Aiden and me?” I asked, astonished at the thought.
This time, she full on laughs. “Yeah, we have. We see it in both of you. A mother knows these things.”
I place my head back on her shoulder. “I needed distance,” I tell her.
“Well, you know what they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I saw the way he hugged you goodbye. He was not okay with leaving you here. Give it time; Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
I smile at her, “I love you, mom.”
She gives me a hug that only a mother can give. “I love you too, Hales.”
The drive back home is quiet. I’m driving while Liam and Allison are in the backseat, cuddled up together.
Bastard.
I hope he realizes how lucky he is. I drop them off at the dorms to get Liam’s Pathfinder. I vaguely remember telling them goodbye. My mind is on Hailey. She looked so sad when I left her standing there in her parents’ drive. I know I’m the reason she’s sad, but fuck, I needed to stay away from her, or I might have embarrassed us both in front of our families. I hate that I’m the one who put that look in her eyes.
Before I even realize it, I’m pulling into the condo. I make my way inside and stop in my tracks. I see the futon that Hales always sleeps on, and she’s not there. I want her there. I hear Liam and Allison at the door, so I quickly head to my room. I throw myself onto my pillow top mattress and wait for sleep to claim me. It doesn’t. I reach for my phone, thinking that listening to some music will help clear my head and make me fall asleep. I open my music app and hit shuffle. “Rock N Roll” by Avril Lavigne begins to play and I smile. Hailey and Allison love this song. Allison insisted that I download it so she and Hailey could “rock out” a few weeks ago when we were all just hanging out. Instead of clearing my head, I think about how amazing she looked that night. They were both in flannel pajama pants and tank tops, not a stich of make-up, hair pulled up into a knot on the top of their heads. I slept on the couch that night too, just to be in the same room with her. Before I can stop myself, I’m opening the messages tab on my phone.
Me:
Night, angel.
I wait with my phone clutched in my hand. Will she reply? Did I damage the relationship that I am so tightly holding onto? Before my mind can wander, my phone alerts me of a new message.
Hailey:
Night.
I release the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. She responded, so that means she doesn’t hate me. I need to keep my shit in check, so that my reaction this afternoon never happens again. Otherwise, I’ll lose her anyway, without her ever really being mine. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Eventually I drifted off to sleep.
The next day, I wake up and find Liam and Allie in the kitchen making pancakes. I slowly shuffle my feet to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup.
“Hey, man, what you got going on today?” Liam asks me.
“Nothing, just hitting the gym. You?”
“Well, we are going over to the dorm to pack up the rest of Allie’s things to bring them here. They have to be out of the dorms next week anyway. I was wondering if you might be able to help. I want to help Hales get all of her stuff too. I told her she could stay here. I think she’s going to take over the condo when we leave.”
“Yeah, let me get more caffeine in me and a quick shower, and then I’m all yours,” I tell him.
“So your parents decided to let her live off campus? I’m going to miss her so much,” Allison says to us.
“Yeah, apparently she’s nervous about who she’ll get stuck with as a roommate as most are staying together. Hales also sold the theory to mom and dad that we could all stay with her when we are in town to visit her.” Liam chuckles. “Dad asked her how she knew we would be back, and of course, Hales’s response was that ‘she’s too awesome for us not to’,” he tells us, shaking his head.
Hell yes, she is. The thought of not seeing her every day is causing an ache in my chest. “She definitely knows how to work them,” I say instead.
“Yeah, she always has,” Liam says, while stuffing his mouth full of pancake.
Allison sets a heaping plate in front of me and my mouth waters. Having her here with us all the time definitely has its perks. I finish off my stack in record time, then hit the shower. As I’m dressing, my phone alerts me of a new message. I swipe my finger across the screen.
Hailey:
Liam says you’re helping today. Thank you
Me:
Welcome.
What I really want to say is that I will always be there. I, however, need to keep it simple, keep my replies as if we are just friends. We will only ever be friends.
We arrive at the dorms around noon. Hailey and her parents have already made a pretty good dent. There are stacks of boxes in the hallway outside the door, so Liam and I begin carrying them down to his father’s truck. Once all the boxes that were ready to go are loaded, we head back upstairs to help the girls pack.
There are six of us in their dorm room and boxes all over the place. It’s tight quarters, and they have one of the bigger rooms. I see Hailey trying to lift a box off the floor. I reach her in time to place my hand on her arm to stop her. I bend down and pick up the box, she thanks me and I wink at her. That’s what friendly, flirty Aiden would have done. “I got this, pixie,” I chide her. She punches me in the arm with a smile on her face.
“I can take you, Emerson,” she says, laughing.
Her laugh is music to my ears. I think Hales and I are gonna be okay. I just need to keep my game face on.