Mostly Dead (Barely Alive #3) (15 page)

Answering her could tear out my heart. “I have a feeling I’m not going to last much past tomorrow night.” I couldn’t tell her the cravings for human had far surpassed my lust. I wanted her, but I didn’t have the meat supplying my body that I needed to uphold an act like that. I needed meat to survive. That’s it. I didn’t have energy to
do more than sustain my life.

I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be different
once my body died. Would I still need as much meat? Or would the hunger disappear? For her as well?

She pulled my hands to her face and rested her cheek on my hypersensitive
skin. I wouldn’t part from her for all the pain in the world. A slight smile smoothed the worry lines on the sides of her mouth. “Molotov cocktails are pure genius.”

A deep rumble replaced my voice and a suave lilt curved my words. Words I would never say. “Genius is what I do.”

Amusement creased the line between Heather’s eyebrows.

My hand lifted and brushed at the curls springing from her ponytail, caressed her shoulder, traced the shell of her ear. I leaned forward and planted a kiss on her forehead, long and lingering, then moved my mouth down her temple, to her earlobe, reached behind her and pulled her against my body. I asked myself, “
What are you doing? Stop
.” But I didn’t. My body wouldn’t obey me and part of me didn’t want to fight. Even with minimal energy.

Her breasts crushed against my chest and her hands came up between us, but I didn’t stop. I moved down to her neck, the
soft skin would be so easy to bite through, but instead I sucked and nipped. I grasped her butt and squeezed hard. My body responded like it was supposed to – good everything worked – but Heather pushed against me.

I moved my mouth up and licked the whorls of
her ear and the soft skin of her lobe. My arms ignored her struggles. I ground her against my lap, the sensation excruciatingly awesome. I groaned. My mouth found her ear again and a whisper slid from me, “You like that, don’t you, bitch? I’m going to make you scream.”

My eyes snapped open.

Heather gasped. I breathed in deep and shoved her from me.

Dominic’s laugh burst from my mouth. He lifted my finger, still laughing, and pointed at Heather. But I cut off the words he wanted to say. I wiped my mouth and thought hard, “
You’ve said enough. You’ve done enough. I’m going to kick your ass
.”

“
With a Molotov cocktail? You’re an idiot, Paul. Talking and planning while I’m in your damn head. It’s going to be fun killing you. I can’t believe I thought we could work together
.” Thick sarcasm dripped in my mind. He’d never leave me alone. I wouldn’t be able to trust myself alone with Heather… or my mom… or Grandma Jean… I had to guard against another mental intrusion at all times.

Heather sobbed and pressed her hand to her forehead and the other one to her stomach. She lifted eyes wide with hurt. “What was that? Why did you…” Her voice trailed off. Stray curls sprang around her pale face. The pain in her voice and on her face cut deep.
Purple bruise-like marks covered her neck. Could those be considered my hickies or Dominic’s?

I swallowed. “I’m so sorry. Heather… I… Dominic is in my head. He’s… I… I thought I would try the vaccine and see if it would cure me. But the vaccine I used was handed out by Dominic and his guys. Now, Dominic’s in my head. I… He controls me and…” My stomach hurt. While I’d hated hurting her, the memory of the pleasure as I held her and rubbed on her kept my body’s response hard.
Dominic had done it, but I’d obviously enjoyed it.

She sobbed. “It wasn’t you then. I…” She shook her head and stepped toward me. “I won’t let him come between us. What can I do?
How did you make him stop?”

Her scent filled me and I closed my eyes. Dominic chuckled and his voice crooned through my mind. “
I can come up with all kinds of things she can do. To me.”

Heather took my hands and stepped close.
My body responded further and it was all I could do not to throw her on the couch and give in to the lust ravaging my body. Dominic’s insatiable sadism would get off on my forcing her.

Fighting two male desires in my head had severe consequences. I’d be facing the worst case of blue balls the world had ever seen.

I pushed her away. “Heather. You need to get away from me.”

She shook her head and pushed past my outstretched hands. “No. I want you to hold me. Don’t you want to be with me? What’s wrong?”

Sexual frustration scraped my insides. I’d never had the issues with lust that the other zombies had had, but I’d eaten human since then. Dominic pervaded my brain and body. I growled, “What’s
wrong
? I want to rape you, right here, as hard and as fast as I can. If you want that, then stay here. If not, get the hell out of here. Now.”

Betrayal flashed over her face. Tears flowed. Without another word, Heath
er dashed from the living room. She didn’t get that I’d just saved her.

I couldn’t tolerate the regret that overcame me. Tamping the emotion down didn’t make me feel better, but I did it anyway.
James. I needed to talk to James.
I had to get this mental thing under control.

James opened the front door. “Hey, you needed me?”

“Yeah. Thanks for coming so fast.” I rolled my eyes, but didn’t say more.

He rested his hand on the doorknob and glanced over his shoulder. “Did you need something?”

“Um… You can’t tell me anymore about our plans. No matter what, alright? I can’t know.” Over and over I continued screwing the people I needed because of the damn virus. Over and over. “Hey, how do you keep me out of your head all the time?”

Against the doorjamb, James pursed his lips while he thought.
He studied the ground, then looked me in the eye. “I can’t all the time, but when I’m mad or have a ton of emotion about something, it’s a little easier? I guess that’s how. But you’re never completely out.” He angled his jaw. “And I can tell you, honestly, it’s damn annoying.”

My half-he
arted smile took more energy than I could afford. “Thanks. Can you watch out for Heather? I need to get out of here. I’ll be back in a little while, okay?” I didn’t have a plan. In fact, I’d decided to not make any decisions for a while until I could figure out how to get the asshole out of my head.

One more glance at Mom and Grandma Jean confirmed their condition hadn’t changed. I spun from the
room.

No more information for Dominic to glean from my head.
I stomped through the kitchen and out the backdoor. I didn’t look to either side as I jumped over the threshold and ran into the woods.

Meat would be good. But elk wouldn’t work this time. Human. But I wouldn’t kill anyone. Maybe if I found an abandoned body or something like that.
I slowed my speed amidst the trees. No one would follow me in there with so many more zombies searching for flesh to eat.

I stopped. The early evening shadows flickered around me as leaves moved in the wind.
No trails to lead me toward people. I would have to face my hunger, sooner or later.

Murmuring skittered between the bushes and over the mossy ground. Muted clinks and clanks penetrated the cloud I tried wrapping around my head.

The sounds led me over a rocky surface and down a fern covered slope to the road. Along the road, a group of people hammered away at the ground. Already they’d dug a long ditch about two feet deep, but they continued to make it deeper. An older woman wiped her brow and spied me. She walked over and leaned on the rake she used on the hole. Another man used an ax. Anything would work with that many people trying to make holes.

The woman watched the group for a second and then motioned the way I’d come. “Did C.J. send you this way?
You can tell him we’re almost done.”

“No. I mean, C.J. didn’t send me. It looks good.” I nodded and walked past
her onto the road like I was supposed to be there. I needed a place to crash. Even if only for a little bit, but any home could have a gun pointed at me or have people in them I would be tempted to kill.

It took everything I had to walk away from the people making the trench. Their sweat enhanced their smell.

I walked until I rounded a bend in the road and I would be out of eyeshot. Then I ran. And ran.

But to what? To who?

Where the hell did I think I was going to go?

With
nowhere to go and nowhere to be, I shuffled along, hands in my pockets. A scent I had grown familiar with brushed over the road followed closely by the noises of approaching zombies.

Ah, my brethren.

Two of them crawled onto the road, their clothes dirty and torn. I couldn’t make out if they’d been bitten and changed or if they’d been “vaccinated” on the road with me. Their eyes were clear but calculating, the predator in them curious about the human scent on my clothes. I’d never considered using myself as bait. If I didn’t take care of these two, they’d get to the humans and make a mess of the defense system. No way was that trench ready for anything, even these stupid stumbling zombie-toddlers.

I tried reasoning with them. “Turn around, guys. There’s nothing here for you.” But that didn’t work.
I didn’t have the presence of mind to try to calm them down like I had Connie and Travis. They stood and stumbled toward me, arms and legs out of sync with each other. Fine. But I needed fire to deal with them the right way.

The red gate of Brian’s house gleamed like a beacon just past the tree line. I could guarantee no one would be there. I pointed toward the house and then at myself. “I’m going for the people there. I’ve been eating all day. Want to have some?” I could tell I was making it through the haze, but I couldn’t be certain how much had made it through the filter.

A step in that direction and more promises for human meat. I couldn’t offer anything else. The scent on my clothes would have to be enough to draw them. I just hoped the wind direction didn’t change and flood the area with the scent of humans just down the way.

I turned my back on them, picking up the pace to the house.

And tripped over a stray arm.

A stray arm? What the hell were body parts doing
lying around on the road and in the woods? I pushed up from the ground, moving off the body part and checking my shirt for blood.

I didn’t know if the arm was human or previously human. I didn’t get a chance to check. The two zombies shoved me out of the way and fell upon t
he arm like jackals, snarls, growls, and snapping between each other.

Brian’s garage wasn’t more than twenty feet from the road. A large leg, severed just below the hip,
was wedged under the lip of the cement threshold. I broke the glass of the window and unlocked the main door. A nudge to the upper thigh and the appendage slammed to the gravel and grass like a falling tree.

The zombies froze and jerked their heads toward me… or rather the leg.

Whoosh. I’d never seen anything move so fast. The two bastards swarmed the leg like vultures on crack.

I rushed into the garage and searched for gas or something else flammable. A two-gallon red gas can tucked beside a lawnmower would be perfect. I grabbed it and as I walked back to the door I uncapped the spout.

In one singular motion, I poured the fluid onto the creatures while they ate.

My lighter from James
hid in my pocket. I pulled it out and rolled the small wheel. The flame flickered before me. I’d need to light the zombies and get the hell away from there. Temptation bombarded me from all sides.

Fwump
. The fumes caught and imploded on themselves. I sprinted from the sudden flames as they engulfed the monsters. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed no reaction from the zombies. They continued eating.

Red and orange burned around them
while the purplish tinge stained the flames.

I stopped beside the gate to the house. It wasn’t far enough away, so I backed to the front door. I had to watch. Brian’s death had only left me with fear for my own. But these zombies didn’t scream or cry or do anything that even acknowledged the heat. Their skin melted off, eyelids and lips slid
ing from their faces. And still they continued eating.

But a sigh, like a balloon popped without the bang, pressed toward me. They toppled to the side and then the only thing moving were the
flames. Their deaths seemed peaceful, easier to comprehend.

Had Brian not been attacked by cannibal zombies, maybe his passing would have been as… what could describe that moment? Beautiful? I didn’t have the words. But I hoped I would go as softly into the flames – without fear, if I even felt it.

I’d needed a place to crash for a while. Dominic wouldn’t attack Grandma Jean’s place. He would wait until the people went into their comas, since he expected that to happen now. He’d seen everything via me, our weaknesses, strengths, secrets, and he’d exposed some wounds. I had to learn how to protect my head, as soon as possible. Or Dominic would get me close to Heather and hurt her before I found the flames.