Motown Takedown (Motown Down Book 3) (11 page)

“I really bring out the best in her,
”
he says proudly while motioning the men to drag the body off that Cinn filled with holes minutes ago. Apparently, disagreeing with her was punishable by death these days. The dead guy who was drilled with his own gun was proof of that. While he thought it was entertaining, I saw it for what it was. An outlet.

“You bring out something in her,but it ain’t the best,
”
I argue. “You claim to care for her, that she’s to be protected, but you encourage destructive behavior. She’s too young for this shit, and she should be in school learning, not becoming a serial killer.”

Rounding on me, he lost his usual smirk and got in my face. In the game, he still trumped me but that wouldn’t always be the case. His time was coming. Unfortunately,it wasn’t today. “I love her,
”
he says low. “But I also hate her. I hate her because she will never feel for me the way she feels for you. But don’t mistake my words for weakness, Monarch. I don’t need her to love me. Hate for me brings out the best in her; it fertilizes my empire, and it binds her to me. The day we found her I saw a female who will always give it back, a female who will not lie down and take it. A man wants a woman who will fight to the death, even if she’s fighting him as death takes her. That’s my idea of love. She may hate me, but she also needs me, and she would die to protect me, remember that.”

Standing in front of her in the shower, I used a washcloth to wipe the blood from her face first, followed by her hair, saving her body for last. She was quiet; I was quiet. She was hurt she was left behind, she was pissed that I did it. What she failed to understand was even as the water washed away his blood she would never be free of it. What he did to her was a part of who she was now, he altered her. This life alters all of us; I know that, but I never wanted her to see him taken down. Love and hate are dual races both gunning for top place. With Cinn and Savage, it wasn’t hard to tell who the lead horse was because her hate was palpable.  He loved that she hated him, he stoked those fires, kept them burning. But I wanted better for her. Less darkness, more happiness.

It was my job to kill for her, always.

“Cinn,
”
shutting the water off and wrapping her in a towel, I call her name several times,but she looks past me. Seeing her upset was making me edgy, I was responsible for her happiness never her ire. “Cinn,
”
I say again with more authority behind it.

Looking up at me, she gives me a soft smile then tries to move around me. I had to force myself not to grab her, smother her like he did, but I could see why it had become a habit for him. Everything about her forced a man to do senseless things to have her, protect her.

Dropping her towel, she slides under the covers never taking her eyes from me. She was tired, her buzz was gone, and she looked sad. “We need to talk about tonight,
”
I tell her crossing my arms over my chest.

Nodding, she sits up and takes a deep breath before saying, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“If you wanted me by your side you would have said so,
”
she says softly. “It won’t happen again.”

“You’re not pissed at me?”

“I was,
”
she says looking at her hands. “Then it switched to upset and now I’m resigned, I guess. Either way it’s done, so now we wait to see who takes his place.”

“I don’t give a fuck about who takes his place, Cinn. I put a bullet in his head inches from you; you got nothing to say about that?”

“Thank you?”

“Why aren’t you crying?
”
I accuse her. “Or mourning or fucking screaming at me? You’re allowed to have feelings, Cinn!”

“Do you want me to cry and mourn? I’m not much of a screamer, I’m afraid, and I do have feelings just not when it comes to Savage.”

This was bullshit. She was a screamer because two hours ago I watched her scream her head off after she shot two of his men in the head. Men, mind you, that have protected her since she was a kid. Whether she knew it or not, she was heading for a meltdown. Hell, it’s been coming for almost ten years, she fucking earned it. Standing next to the bed, she shakes her head like my outburst was ridiculous and shit got real when she next spoke.

“Forgive me for not crying over Gamble and Smooth. Two pigs who would have shot me where I stood and planned to. Two foul beings that I've been dying to take me out since I was fifteen years old. Savage may have been crazy, but he wasn’t stupid, and those two made my life hell and he kept them around for that very reason. And to stay alive, I had to rely on him to protect me which we both know he was not capable of doing. I wasn’t allowed to carry a weapon for fear I’d use it on him because I totally would. Don’t think for one second I don’t have both feet planted firmly in reality because,
I do
.”

“Cinn…”

“No,
”
she says putting a hand up. “He didn’t love me, Monarch, I know that. I’ve always known that.  I also know he thought that he did, and there was no changing his mind. I was hurt that I wasn’t by your side, that I wasn’t front and center showing him
we
won. When you left, I had no one in my corner, no shield. I don’t blame you for leaving; I don’t blame you for any of it but what took place after you left made me into the woman in your bed now. I do have feelings when it’s warranted, trust me when I tell you when it comes to
him
it’s not warranted.”

“I just spent an hour washing his blood from your body,
”
I remind her and then she starts to lose it.

“Who are you trying to convince here, me or you? That wasn’t the first time I’ve had his blood on me,and the only reason I’m not fucked up about it is because it was the last time I ever had to see it. I am not a fucking child!
”
she screams. “What you saw tonight is what I saw most nights! I value life. Ours! This extends to the men who protect us, but everyone else is fair game. He’s dead, Monarch. You think I should feel something, but I don’t. The man that took me promised me I’d be safe, swore he was indestructible…wasn’t. The same man who said he loved me, and no bad would touch me, lied. So much bad touched me, I’m tainted with it. I accept this. I accepted it because the payoff was a male who would love me, who would keep me safe and is indestructible, that male is
you
. That male has always been you. Stop waiting for me to fall apart and start celebrating with me. ”

Tackling her to the bed, securing her arms over her head and watching her chest rise and fall I realized I was wrong. She wasn’t having a meltdown;I was. “My fucking queen,
”
I whisper using my thighs to push hers apart. “Never again will I doubt you.”

“You didn’t doubt me,
”
she says spreading wider and arching up. “You doubted yourself. I’m here, Monarch. It’s us versus everybody.”

“You were magnificent tonight.
”
Tightening my grip causes her to grind into the mattress.

“I know,
”
she whispers before sitting up to bite my lip. Feeding her my tongue and giving her my weight, I don’t release her wrists, I won’t.

“Monarch,
”
she says biting my earlobe.

“Mo chuisle,
”
I groan while she licks the sting away.

“I’m ready.”

And she was.

Grabbing my face, he turns me from right to left before releasing me. Turning away always pissed him off and I paid for it. He knew why I did it; I didn’t even have to say it. He knew I couldn’t stand looking at him when he fucked me. I could hardly stand being in the same room with him let alone have his cock stabbing me. Years ago I learned to find a place in my head that was mine alone, a place where Monarch was there; taking care of me. Where we took care of each other. That place where he worshipedme before taking what was his. Taking what I freely offered. I may play the game when forced to, but I had to get to that place to do it. Shoving his fingers down my throat, he pumps into me while I gag on the intrusion. “I’m going to fuck the romance right out of you,
”
he grunts. “Take it, Cinn.”

Pulling his fingers out of my mouth he uses them to cut off my air supply. Fighting him was what he wanted, what he needed to come. So I fucking fought. When he unloaded inside of me any hope of him leaving afterward vanished when he tucked me close. “If you think he gives a fuck about you, you’d be wrong. Pussy can be bought, trained, and replaced. A man doesn’t give a fuck where he nuts and Monarch is no exception. Count yourself fortunate that the only pussy I nut in is yours.
”
As he drifted off with his weight pinning me in place, I allowed myself to think of Monarch. And I thought about him with other women. It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was tearing me apart, but I couldn’t expect him not to fuck other women. Despite the pain, I did not cry. Oddly enough, I found solace in the fact that Monarch would never hurt a woman who offered herself and he would cut off his own hands before ever hurting me.

Binding my wrists with his hands, I don’t struggle. I like being restrained by him, crave it even. Monarch dominating me was just that, a control thing. He didn’t do it to hurt me and even with him pinning me, he was careful of his weight. My line of sight is that of his throat or a wall of ink. I loved both choices, relished them. His heavy breathing, his struggle for control sent me higher and in the back of my mind I wondered how much higher I could go. Monarch has been it for me since I was a kid, the one that would save me, give me purpose and now he was on top of me.

He expected me to scream at Savage’s death, how about no. How about he got what was coming to him, and his blood was a souvenir. How about Monarch pulling the trigger and putting that dictator behind us being the most poignant moment of my fucking life.

“Look at me,
”
he says roughly. Complying wasn’t an issue, not for me. I was built to belong to him, to thrive under his rule when we were like this. Giving him my eyes, he rubs his nose with mine and grunts, “My queen is ready,
”
and no truer words have been spoken.

Urging him closer, he shuts me down by applying more weight. “My way,
”
he says licking my collarbone. Arching up and asking for more, he laughs under his breath but continues to hold me in place.

“Does your way include actually fucking me or –
”
I start, but he shuts me up by applying a ton of pressure to my wrists.

“He hurt you. I will
not
hurt you,
”
he growls in my face. “The only screaming you’ll be doing is my God damn name, so do not fucking push me when I’m on the edge, Cinn.”

Gulping back my answer, I simply give a nod. His way, okay I could do his way, maybe
…
“My dick needs your hand,
”
he says low in my ear, “Grab it.
”
Releasing my wrists, I was seriously having trouble swallowing because damn, that is a nice dick,and I showed him as much by gripping it tight. “Work it,
”
he instructs then adds with a wince, “Gently.
”
That word was foreign to me like he just asked me to do his laundry. I don’t do gentle, and I certainly don’t do fucking laundry.

“Watch me,
”
he says sitting up to straddle me when he sees I’m stumped. With wide eyes, I watch him grab his dick and with slow strokes work it from the base to tip. He had a rhythm; he was methodical. I wanted my turn. Then to switch things up, he tugs on his balls and smirks at me. Slow hand job, ball tug, got it.

“Cinn,
”
he says in a rough voice. “Touch yourself while you watch me.”

Now that I can do, have been doing for years, I was a pro. Licking the fingers on my right and slide them between my legs working my clit quickly. With my left, I reach up and tug on his sac and get his thighs squeezing me in response. Watching each other quickly turns both of us into panting messes. Monarch is so heavily tattooed that I haven’t had the time I’d needed to explore each one. But if the back piece with my name caught my attention, the tattoo above his groin in old English that read
My
Queen
followed by the one over his heart that read,
Mo chuisle
blew my heart wide open. I was always with him; it’s always been me for Monarch.

“Focus,
”
he says squeezing me again, and that was all it took. Letting out a beautiful moan, I rode it out for as long as I could. This was one of those moments that I knew I’d never forget because in all my years with Savage, it was never about me and neither was this.

This was about
us
.

“Monarch, I’m really ready.”

“Fuck yeah, you are,
”
he says leaning forward and putting his hands on either side of my head. “Never seen anything, so God damn beautiful in my life, Cinn.”

“Me either,
”
I smile up at him.

“I never gave much thought to pussy until I saw yours,
”
he says kissing my nose again. “Most beautiful pussy in the world. My pussy. Worth waiting for. Jesus Christ, I gotta worship that pussy. That happens now, hold on to me.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him down to me to shut him up because if he continued to praise me, I’d start crying. Nobody liked to fuck when their face was puffy, at least I didn’t. But the kiss didn’t last long. Licking his way down my body, when he gets to my mound, he gives me a soft kiss making me moan loud and instead of continuing, he rests his head on my thigh. Sinking my fingers into his hair, I pull the band out freeing it so I could run my fingers through it. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I knew it was important that I let it.

Running his finger up and down my thigh, he continues to rest his head and stare. Every few seconds he would use his finger to tease my slit then blow on me before going right back to staring. This was also the most human contact I have ever had, and I knew for once I was glad to be wrong.

This
was the most poignant moment of my life.