Mr. Badger and the Difficult Duchess (6 page)

‘Looks like an attention-seeker,' said Lady Celia.

Back and forth she swayed, suspended by her magnificent hair like a great gangly spider. It was a truly horrifying spectacle. Everyone clutched their seats, as thousands of precious stamps fluttered about the Boubles Grand Hotel Ballroom.

Then, bit by bit, the Duchess – literally – began to fall apart.

First one long leg, and then another, dropped to the floor with a loud, echoing
thud
. Moans filled the room as, straight after that dreadful scene, the Duchess's head and hair separated, her sunglasses flew off and she plunged to the floor with a crash, right in front of Sir Cecil and Lady Smothers-Carruthers. Her grace's hair, though, was left hanging in the chandelier.

‘Good heavens! I
thought
she reminded me of someone!' said Lady Celia, breaking a shocked silence.

‘Remarkable,' mumbled Sir Cecil, scratching his head.

For, lying on the floor at their feet, surrounded by stamps, was their darling little granddaughter, Sylvia Smothers-Carruthers.

Mr Badger, sensing that the reputation of the Boubles Grand Hotel was at stake, stepped forward and applauded enthusiastically. ‘BRAVO!' he cried.

Following Mr Badger's lead, the whole Philatelic Society joined in with thunderous applause, believing that this performance had all been part of the evening's entertainment, compliments of Sir Cecil and Lady Celia – sort of a spectacular stamp mix-and-match.

Lady Celia was not amused.

Mr Badger's quick thinking had saved little Sylvia – in fact the whole Smothers-Carruthers family – from a dreadful embarrassment.

‘She's training to be in a circus,' said Lady Celia with a tense smile to some very important stamp-collectors at the next table. ‘Isn't she talented?'

CHAPTER 9

A Stamp of
Approval

‘Y
ou have quite a bit of explaining to do, young lady,' said Lady Celia to a surly Sylvia. ‘How did you get your hands on my fur? Not to mention my shoes and my glasses!'

Lady Celia was painfully aware of Sylvia's constant attention-seeking, and it was true that Sylvia desired to be a circus acrobat. ‘A clown is more like it,' Lady Celia would hurrumph. ‘There'll be no acrobats in this family.'

Mr Badger felt it best not to say anything about Sylvia's occupation of the Royal Suite, not even the three television sets, the food, the drinks or the pizzas, and
especially
not the cake flown down from Edinburgh.

Someone was a naughty girl.

Sylvia was in enough trouble as it was, and he did not wish to cause Sir Cecil or Lady Celia any more anxiety.

‘Come and sit!' demanded Lady Celia, one hand pointing at the empty seat next to her and the other at her very grumpy granddaughter. ‘And take off those earrings.'

While Mr Badger quietly directed staff to gather up Sylvia's stilts, retrieve her big wig from the chandelier and collect her extra-long frock extension from the floor, Sylvia made herself comfortable and looked over the Philatelic Society's special menu, as if nothing out of the ordinary had taken place.

Sylvia joined Lady Celia for dessert.

‘You've missed the main course, but you may order dessert,' Lady Celia snapped. ‘I'm sure the kitchen would be more than happy to prepare something
very
special for you.'

Down below, deep in the Boubles Grand Hotel kitchen, the red-alert light flashed on once again.

Meanwhile, the stamp-collectors were in a state of extreme excitement. Never before had a stamp-swapping evening been as thrilling, resulting in so many unexpected discoveries.