Ms America and the Whoopsie in Winona
Read Ms America and the Whoopsie in Winona Online
Authors: Diana Dempsey
Tags: #mystery, cozy mystery, mystery series, beauty queen mysteries, ms america mysteries, amateur sleuth, female sleuth, holiday, Christmas, humor
MS AMERICA
AND THE
WHOOPSIE IN WINONA
(Beauty Queen Mysteries, No. 4)
Diana Dempsey
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Ms America and the Whoopsie in Winona
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013 by Diana Dempsey
Cover design by Rhonda Freshwater
This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, by any means, without permission. Making or distributing electronic copies of this book constitutes copyright infringement and could subject the infringer to criminal and civil liability.
ISBN: 978-0-9815223-8-8
First electronic edition November 2013
Table of Contents
ALSO AVAILABLE FROM DIANA DEMPSEY
RECIPE FOR WHITE CHRISTMAS DREAM DROPS
Excerpt from MS AMERICA AND THE BROUHAHA ON BROADWAY
Back in the deep dark past when I was first imagining a mystery series featuring a beauty-queen sleuth, I thought
Ms America and the Whoopsie in Winona
would be the second in the series, following
Ms America and the Offing on Oahu
. (I never thought twice about setting the first book on Oahu. I loved that idea from the beginning.) Then I began to think that perhaps I should set all the books in glitzy, larger-than-life settings, and hence
Ms America and the Villainy in Vegas
and
Ms America and the Mayhem in Miami
were born.
By then I had visited Winona, Minnesota. I had had a great time. I made my trip one lovely October when the fall colors were, as Happy Pennington would say, “splendiferous.” I learned about the Great River Shakespeare Festival, held there every summer, and discovered that the American Queen, the largest riverboat in the world, docks there every fall. Plus, the people I met were so friendly and helpful, and the town itself was so charming, that the notion of setting a beauty-queen mystery in Winona lingered in my mind.
I also loved the title
Ms America and the Whoopsie in Winona
. It’s silly. It’s funny. It surprises you. Yes. I like to think that all that and more is true of the beauty-queen mysteries themselves.
So now, a few years later, I have the satisfaction of presenting to you
Ms America and the Whoopsie in Winona
. It’s especially delightful to me because it’s set in the holiday season, which I love, and in addition I believe it has more heart than any of the mysteries so far. And unlike the other books in the series, many of the settings in this outing are real: from Windom Park to the Basilica of St. Stanislaus Kostka to Bub’s Brewing Company to the Blue Heron Coffeehouse to Bloedow’s Bakery. (If there’s a Giant W, I don’t know about it.) Not featured in the book but notable all the same is the gracious Colonial Revival
Windom Park Bed and Breakfast
, where I enjoyed a lovely stay thanks to innkeepers Karen and Craig Groth.
I’ve also included a special treat (or two) in this book: holiday recipes! Both the fruitcake and the White Christmas Dream Drop cookies play a role in the story. Enjoy.
Please know that I love to hear from you. Drop me an email at
www.dianadempsey.com
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Always, all best to you! Keep reading.
Diana Dempsey
Ms America and the Offing on Oahu (No. 1)
Ms America and the Villainy in Vegas (No. 2)
Ms America and the Mayhem in Miami (No. 3)
Ms America and the Whoopsie in Winona (No. 4)
Ms America and the Brouhaha on Broadway (No. 5)
Falling Star
To Catch the Moon
Too Close to the Sun
Chasing Venus
Ring of Truth
(anthology featuring “A Diva Wears the Ring”)
When I had the pleasure of visiting Winona, I was fortunate enough to interview a few key people who helped tremendously with my research. Many thanks especially to Pat Mutter, director of the
Winona Convention and Visitors Bureau
, and to Walt Bennick, society archivist and author of
Winona: Images of America
. I’m also grateful to Mike Potvin, who gave me a behind-the-scenes tour of
Bloedow’s Bakery
(yum!), and to Karen and Craig Groth at the lovely
Windom Park Bed and Breakfast
.
My stay in Minneapolis was great fun thanks to former Harvard roommate and longtime WCCO reporter and anchor Esme Murphy, and friend and fantastic Regency romance author
Candice Hern
. I can’t wait for her next book!
I love my Ms America covers and that is because the incomparable Rhonda Freshwater of
Freshwater Design
creates them. Bill Fuller was his usual helpful self, providing guidance on the manuscript, and my husband Jed deserves props as always. No one (but me) sees the book in a rougher state. The beauty-queen mysteries would not be what they are without his wisdom and insight.
Sadly, many people labor under the misapprehension that a beauty queen’s life is nothing but glamour from dawn till dusk. Yet here I stand, Ms. America Happy Pennington, dressed as a sexy Santa in a red velveteen monstrosity, preparing to preside over the opening ceremony for the new Giant W big box store in Winona, Minnesota.
If that doesn’t disabuse you of the all-glamour all-the-time fantasy, I don’t know what will.
The teenage girl manning the public-address system cranks it once again into life. “Sale on bloat-free suppository laxatives, aisle seven!”
My beauty queen BFF Shanelle Walker sets her hands on her hips. Like our partner in crime Trixie Barnett—the reigning Ms. Congeniality—she’s done up as a hot-to-trot elf in an emerald-green minidress complete with capelet and lace-up high-heel boots. I will say the color looks fantastic against Shanelle’s cocoa-colored skin. Their hats—green versions of my red Santa cap—perch awkwardly atop both Shanelle’s black waves and Trixie’s chin-length copper-colored bob.
“I swear,” Shanelle says, “if that infernal teenager makes one more announcement, I am going to boot-kick her all the way to the North Pole.”
“She is a little over enthusiastic,” Trixie agrees. “But this is a big night.”
From our vantage point behind a display of inflatable fruitcakes—yes, you read that right—I assess the gathering throng. “Half the town may show up to this thing.”
I am exaggerating. I’m told Winona boasts about 27-thousand residents. But I bet a few hundred are already massed on the other side of the cash registers, escaping the frigid temps and ogling the discounted merchandise. They won’t be able to get at it until 7 p.m. at least, when the speechifying is concluded and the opening ribbon cut.
Trixie squints her eyes at the crowd. “I don’t see your dad, Happy.”
“You see the couple who are both wearing two-foot-tall Christmas tree hats?”
“There he is!” Trixie cries. “Wow, does he look happy.”
I am forced to admit that even though he’s sporting the tackiest headgear this side of Minneapolis, yes, Pop does look happy. And it is largely due to Maggie Lindvig—Winona native, Cleveland transplant, and lady love. I watch multicolored lights blink atop Maggie’s longish brunette hair. She may be in her early sixties but she still favors a sex kitten look, with tight clothes and a shimmy in her walk. “Those hats were Maggie’s idea. Pop keeps telling me how many fun things she thinks of for them to do.”
“She sounds pretty different from your mom,” Shanelle observes.
“That must drive your mom batty,” Trixie says. “I wish she were here, too.”
“Apparently December’s a busy month in the used-car business. She claims she can’t get away.” Ever since my mother took a job as receptionist for Bennie Hana, notorious in the greater Cleveland area for executing a karate chop in his TV commercials about chopping prices, she’s become surprisingly slippery. I’m convinced only some of her elusiveness is due to her new 9-to-5 gig. The rest I attribute to her burgeoning social life, which also revolves around one Bennie Hana.
Again the P.A. system blares. “Santa toilet-seat cover and matching bath rug in aisle three!” the teenager chirps. “Trim the family throne with Old Saint Nick!”
I lay a restraining hand on Shanelle’s arm as I turn to Trixie. “I wonder what you’ll think of Maggie’s sister Ingrid.”
“She’s one of the people giving a speech, right?”
“I’ll be amazed if that woman lets anybody else get hold of the microphone,” Shanelle says. Like me, Shanelle arrived yesterday, so she has the lay of the land where Ingrid Svendsen is concerned.
“It sounds like Ingrid had a lot to do with convincing Giant W to put an outpost here in Winona,” I say.
“At least to hear her tell it,” Shanelle adds.
“She’s a big muckety-muck in town,” I go on. “Organizes a lot of social events, serves on all the committees—”
“—takes credit for everything,” Shanelle adds.
“I get the picture.” Trixie nods sagely then brightens. “Well, we should be thanking her because if Ingrid didn’t get this brand new Giant W for Winona, we wouldn’t be seeing each other again so soon!”
“Truth is, we have Maggie to thank for that, too,” I say. “She’s the one who suggested to Ingrid that we be part of the opening.” Ingrid made sure this is an official Ms. America appearance, organizing it with Atlanta headquarters, but it was Maggie who got the ball rolling. And I know why: she’s trying to get on my good side and thinks booking pageant gigs is a way to do it. It’s clear all she wants for Christmas is an engagement ring from Pop and she knows that’s more likely if I’m on her team.