Murder at Breakfast (8 page)

As
usual, we planned ahead. We chose Burkman’s, known for some of the best steaks
anywhere. I chose a fourteen ounce filet mignon, Oscar style. I have no idea
why I chose Oscar style. Crabmeat is not my favorite, and I sure don’t like
asparagus, but I like the sauce. Lou selected a six-ounce filet bland style.
The girls ordered similar to what Lou ordered. I shared my asparagus with the
others, but wasn’t about to give away any of the biggest loaded baked potato
known to mankind. I felt sorry for the others nibbling on green stalks and
salad bar greenery while I feasted on what real men eat. I skipped the salad
bar. There was nothing there that I wanted. Besides, a fourteen ounce steak, a
baked potato almost that large, weighed down with real bacon, cheese, and
swimming in butter and a dollop of sour cream, plus a couple of desserts that
the menu suggested might be shared by two people were enough for me. I didn’t
want to overdo it, not while the girls were there with us. I ate slower than
usual, and did my best to keep the conversation going. My goal was to spend so
much time at Burkman’s that no one would suggest that we go to Lou’s afterward
to Wii. As it turned out, God was with me. 

Since
Betty and I were merely friends who enjoyed each other’s company and Lou and
Thelma Lou were an item, we dropped Betty off first. Normally, we would take
Thelma Lou home next and I would sit in the car while Lou walked her to the
door and stole a kiss before he left, but I told Lou I needed to get home
quickly and asked if he could take me home before dropping off Thelma Lou. As I
said that, I noticed Thelma Lou’s smile before she could hide it. I would make
sure to share that with some of the rest of the guys on the force. I was tired 
of  always  being the butt of their jokes. It was Lou’s turn to be on the
receiving end. Maybe I could embellish my story by saying that Lou stumbled in
around 4:00 in the morning, with lipstick all over him and his tie all askew.

+++

I
really didn’t have any reason to get home, but I couldn’t help myself when I
thought of an idea after walking into the house. I had to see if there really
were people on YouTube using the Wii Fit to work out, or if Lou was the only
one. I had planned to read some more, but before I read I went to the computer
and Googled.

I
was relieved when I found out my finely sculptured body was not on this
website, although I did find a few guys, and women, who looked similar to what
Lou and I looked like. I also found some that looked like my Eunice back when
we started dating, all adorned in beachwear, or something similar. I was
particularly fascinated with one young lady advertising for a zoo. I am not
sure which one, but after gazing at her gyrations for a few seconds, I was
ready to change my mind about Wii and Wii Fit. I could be persuaded to
recommend it as something women might try.

I
had just stepped from the shower on Monday morning when the phone rang. Only a
few people have my number, so I ruled out anyone trying to sell me a Wii. Then
I realized that most of the ones who would call to sell me a Wii had my number.
I answered the phone anyway.

“Hello,
Cy. I wanted to go ahead and call because I know that you always leave the
house by the crack of noon.”

“Very
funny, Frank. I must remember to get you a boatload of bodies. If it wasn’t so
hard on me, and if someone didn’t have to die for that to happen, I’d really
try to see to that.”

“Is
that the kind of thanks I get for working day and night, so that you can know
how your victim died?”

“I
assume she was poisoned.”

“The
victim ingested poison, but I don’t think you’ll like to hear the rest of it.”

“You
mean that the poison came from my house?”

“You
know more about that than I do, but what I do know is that she was not poisoned
at lunch. Her stomach contents told me that she didn’t even eat any of the food
on that plate, but someone did. I could tell by analyzing the fork. Also, she
was moved after she died.”

“So
are you telling me the murderer ate the food that was missing from her plate,
or did the cook taste it before sending it up?”

“That’s
what we pay you to do, Cy, find out who did it. Me,  all  I  can  tell you is
that she was poisoned, but not by the food on her plate. None of the food we
found in the kitchen poisoned her, either. And evidently none of the other
residents have been poisoned, since you haven’t called me to come back to that
building.”

“Are
you telling me this happened when she was a child?”

“No,
from what I can tell, from the condition of the victim and the temperature in
the room, the victim died of something she ingested Friday morning, probably
between 7:30-9:30. The food found in her room didn’t arrive until later. Under
normal situations, I would say the victim ingested the poison thirty minutes or
so before she died, so we are looking at 7:00-9:00. The earlier time means the
poison could have been ingested right before she ate or it was added to her
breakfast, the later time means that it was caused by someone or something
after she returned to her apartment. ”

“Thanks
for clearing everything up for me, Frank.”

“You
don’t want me to do all your work for you, do you, Cy?”

“Just
get me a confession. I’ll pick up the murderer.”

“It
sounds like you’re in a hurry to get back to your easy chair, or from what I
hear, maybe you want another turn on Lou’s Wii Fit.”

“Not
you, too?”

“No,
not yet. I’ve just enjoyed your gyrations. Although I can tell you that you’ve
inspired a lot of people around here. Some have seen the video and said if
Dekker can live through that maybe I can, too. You’re the hero of the
department.”

“Can
we get back to the autopsy?”

“Yeah,
I’ve got a couple of other things for you, Cy. We found a piece of cheesecake
in that small refrigerator she has in the apartment. I analyzed it, too.
Nothing. Also, we took her toothpaste and toothbrush just to make sure she
wasn’t poisoned when she brushed her teeth. There was no sign of poison on
either one of them. I guess that’s all I have for you. You’ll have to take it
from here. Are you and Lou going back over there this morning?”

“We
might not go back over there until this afternoon. We might have a brain session
at my place this morning.”

“Is
that another word for a nap?”

“No,
it’s just that we need to take a look at this and see who we might need to talk
to about what.”

“Well,
have fun. I’ll let you know if I get anything else.”

“And
I’ll let you know if I get any more bodies.”

“Oh,
I’m sure you will.”

+++

I
hung up the phone, tried to make sense of what Frank had told me. I had a
victim who died Friday morning, poisoned. She ingested the poison just before
breakfast, while eating breakfast, or shortly after breakfast. Did someone
poison her in the dining room, or in her room? And regardless of where she was
poisoned, how did someone get into her room? Evidently someone did, since there
was a plate of food in front of her. And who ate part of that food? Maybe we
should pump the stomachs of everyone who lives there, so we can see who ate her
food. I knew it was far too late for that. I also knew that it was far too
early for me to figure out anything having to do with the case. I had a shoebox
full of suspects. What better alibi than for someone to poison Mrs. Higgins at
breakfast and be gone shopping when most of the people figure Mrs. Higgins died
while eating her lunch? And what better opportunity would someone who works
there have than to wait until the residents had gone shopping and then enter
Mrs. Higgins’s apartment and murder her? Then a fly flew into my ointment. The
first scenario would only work if Martha didn’t try to remove the trays before
the shoppers arrived back at Parkway Arms at 4:00. Anyone with a key to Mrs. Higgins’ apartment could return from shopping, use a key no one knew about, and
slip into the victim’s apartment sometime before dinner, but then I remembered
that more than likely her door was latched all day, and no one could have
gotten in that way.  But  then  wouldn’t the same circumstances be needed for
someone who was there all day? Whoever sneaked into the apartment would have
had to have done so before the maids shampooed the carpet, or after the carpet
dried, and the maids had almost finished shampooing the carpet before the food
arrived. So, he or she would have had to have waited until after the carpet
dried to arrange such a cozy lunchtime death. So, regardless of whether she was
murdered by a resident or a member of the staff, whoever did it would have to
have done it prior to anyone leaving the building, and the tray couldn’t have
been planted until after everyone returned. Why? Because she was dead before
anyone left, and no one walked on the hall carpet until everyone returned. As
usual, Lou and I had a lot of work to do before finding our murderer. It
sounded so complicated that I’m not sure I could have repeated my thoughts.
Luckily, I knew where to begin.

+++

I
picked up my phone and dialed the number one investigator anywhere, Sam
Schumann. Lucky for me, Sam works for the Hilldale Police Department.

“And
a good Monday morning to you, Cy.”

“How
did you know it was me?”

“I
knew there was a death the other night, suspected homicide. I knew you wouldn’t
be able to solve it without me.”

“I’m
just trying to see that you keep drawing those paychecks, Sam.”

“Cy,
I know how all of this will create problems for your schedule.”

“You
mean with Lou and me being retired and all.”

“That,
too. I was thinking more of what it would do to your workout schedule. Does
this mean it will be a while before you release another one of your videos?”

“I
haven’t released one.”

“Sure
you have, Cy. I’ve got the evidence. Laurel and Hardy would be proud of you.”

“And
where did you get a copy?”

“Remember,
Cy, I’m a cop. I know people.”

“Yeah,
any idea how I can get even with those people?”

I
heard laughter on the other end of the line. I gave him a moment and then got
down to work.

“Listen,
Sam, believe it or not, the reason I called doesn’t have anything at all do to
with Lou’s Wii, but it does have to do with the murder you mentioned. Get ready
to write. I want you to check on some people.”

“Fire
away.”

“Okay,
let’s start with the victim, Katherine Higgins. I understand she’s leaving
behind a lot of money. See who gets it. I also want you to check on all the
people at Parkway Arms, those who work there and those who live there. Here are
their names and the little I already know about them. Margaret Draper manages
the place, probably has greater access to any part of that building than anyone
else, except maybe the handyman. Martha Carpenter is the cook, and the victim
did die of poison, so she definitely needs some looking into. Wally Gentry is
the handyman, probably has a key to anything in that place. The two maids are
Margie Washburn, who was Mrs. Higgins’ maid, and Ginny Adams, the third floor
maid. Those are the only employees.

“Two
of the other residents are away. I’ll give you their names in a minute. I’ll
just need for you to verify that they really are away and have been the whole
time. The other residents include Russell Cochran, who seemed to be sweet on
Mrs. Higgins, Christine Hunt, who didn’t like her and wanted to get her hooks
into Cochran, Joanne Moberly, who might have had the same reason for wanting
Mrs. Higgins out of the way, Hilda Winters, who was supposed to be the victim’s
best female friend, and Elaine Jewell, who was on the premises, and lives in
the apartment next to the victim. Also, there’s a neighbor, as in an old biddy
who lives in a house next to the apartment building. Her name is Hazel Allnut,
and I’d like to  find  some  way  to put her away for twenty years or so. She
was in the building on the day of the murder, but supposedly not at the time of
the murder. Still, she needs looking into. The other two residents, the ones who
supposedly are away, are Imogene Ingram and Vera Davis.”

I
finished, but heard nothing but silence on the other end of the phone.

“You
still there, Sam.”

“Sure
am, Cy. Just let me know when to start writing.”

“Very
funny. Oh, take your time. I won’t need any of this before noon.”

“That
shouldn’t be a problem, Cy. I’ll call you in a few weeks to let you know what
day before noon it will be. By the way, is it true what I heard about Lou? Did
he really have to go out and buy a complete new wardrobe because nothing he
owned still fit him?”

“I’m
sorry to say it is, Sam. He’s fallen off so much that all that’s left is skin
and bones.”

“To
tell the truth, Cy, that’s all that’s left of you and me, too. It’s just that
you have a lot more skin and bones than Lou does. And of course most of our
weight is water. It looks like you’re retaining more water than Lou is now.
Maybe you can sneak over to his apartment some night and give him an IV.”

“Sounds
like a plan, and maybe I can steal his Wii Fit while I’m there.”

“Want
to get in some extra workouts, do you, Cy?”