Murder With Puffins (3 page)

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Authors: Donna Andrews

Tags: #Women detectives, #Humorous stories, #Mystery & Detective, #General, #Mystery fiction, #Murder, #Langslow; Meg (Fictitious character), #Women Sleuths, #Fiction, #Women detectives - Maine, #Detective and mystery stories, #Hurricanes, #Islands, #Maine

BOOK: Murder With Puffins
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Only it wasn't dark. I could see light ahead of us--coming from the house. And was that music playing? I felt a twinge of panic. Surely Aunt Phoebe hadn't rented it, had she? She was always so adamant about having it ready at any time the family wanted to use it.

"Someone's already here," Michael said.

"No one's supposed to be," I said. "Maybe it's just the cleaners. I know Aunt Phoebe has someone local come in every two weeks or so to keep the place from getting too dirty."

A burst of laughter rang out from inside the cottage.

"Wish I enjoyed cleaning that much," Michael said. He shifted his carry-on bag from one shoulder to the other.

I noticed that the rest of our luggage hadn't arrived yet. Michael's attempts to bribe the driver into giving us a ride had probably irritated him to the point that he'd make sure ours was the last off the track. He might even pretend to forget about it until the morning, with our luck. I sighed.

"Well, there's no sense standing out here wondering," I said. I marched up the steps, ready to deal with whatever the cottage contained--burglars? Squatters? Cleaners who had gotten into the bar and decided to hold an impromptu hurricane party?

I squared my shoulders and knocked firmly on the door.

Chapter 3
All My Puffins

No one answered. I waited briefly, then knocked again.

Another burst of laughter greeted my knock.

"What's going on in there?" I called.

Still no answer.

"Well, here goes," I said.

I flung open the door.--The cottage was empty. But someone, obviously, had been there, and not very long ago.

"I guess someone was expecting us," Michael said.

Evidently--but who?

We looked around. A fire crackled briskly in the fireplace. Enough candles burned in various parts of the room to cast a warm, romantic glow. Both sofas were piled high with down pillows and fuzzy afghans. Two teacups stood on the coffee table, and a hint of steam and a faint odor of jasmine indicated that the quilted cozy concealed a fresh pot of tea. A battery radio sat on the mantel; as we stood there gaping, a final burst of laughter signaled the end of a commercial and an announcer with a beautiful spun-silk baritone voice assured us that W something or other would now continue with its Friday-night light classical program. The strains of "The Blue Danube Waltz" filled the room.

"Hello?" I called.

I stepped inside. I could smell something cooking. Right now, my stomach objected strenuously to this, but, even so, I could tell that when I'd fully recovered from the ferry ride, whatever was going on in the kitchen would turn out to be intensely interesting. A bottle of champagne stood on the table, beads of sweat running down its sides, with a corkscrew and two glass flutes nearby.

"You know, this is a lot less primitive than you described it," Michael said, dropping his bags by the door. "In fact, now that we're off the boat, I think I'm starting to like this place."

He looked around appreciatively. The place did look its best by candlelight. The living room was two stories high, with stairs curling around one wall, leading to a balconylike upper hall, off which the three bedrooms opened. Downstairs, under the bedrooms, were a large bathroom and a larger kitchen. I remembered the place as tiny and cramped--which it usually was in the summer, with every bedroom filled, a carpet of sleeping bags in the living room, and a typical hour-long wait to use the bathroom. But for two people looking for peace and quiet and a place to get away from it all, the cottage suddenly looked like a palace.

"Let's worry about the luggage later," Michael said, sitting down on one of the sofas and patting the cushion beside him. I joined him, and for a few minutes we sat there in silence, enjoying the warmth, the music, the whole ambiance.

Although I did wonder who had opened up the cottage and set everything up for us. Had Winnie and Binkie made a quick call from the gift shop and sent some helpful neighbor over? Or had Aunt Phoebe noticed the missing key, done a head count, and decided to arrange a lovely surprise? Whoever it was, they had my thanks. In my exhausted state, I kept remembering the version of "Beauty and the Beast" in which the disembodied hands set the table and served dinner, and I wondered if something similar had happened here.

No matter, I thought, sinking back against Michael's arm. This is heavenly.

The door suddenly opened with a bang.

"I'm back!" caroled a voice.

Michael and I whirled about in astonishment.

"Dad?" I said.

My father stood in the doorway with a load of wood in his arms. Water flew everywhere as he shook himself like a dog.

"Meg!" he cried. He dumped the wood on the hearth with a thump, then enfolded me in a soggy bear hug. "What a wonderful surprise!"

"You think you're surprised," I muttered. "You have no idea."

"And Michael," Dad added. "How grand! Margaret, come look; it's Meg and Michael here to join us."

Mother appeared at the top of the stairway, delicately suppressing a yawn, carrying her embroidery and a European fashion magazine.

"Meg, dear," she cried. She floated gracefully down the stairs and bent over to kiss my cheek. "This is so nice! And how lovely to see you, Michael."

Not a single improbably blond hair had strayed out of place, and she looked, as usual, as if she could replace any of the models in the magazine on a moment's notice.

Just then, I heard a loud pop, and something whizzed past my nose and bounced off Michael's chin.

"Sorry about that, Michael," Dad said, waggling the champagne bottle. "Nothing broken, I hope?"

"No, I'm fine," Michael said, rubbing his chin.

"Here we go," Dad said, handing Mother a glass of the champagne and taking a sip from his own glass. "Would you two like any?"

"No thanks," Michael and I chorused. I closed my eyes. I wasn't quite ready to watch people eating and drinking.

The door slammed open again.

"Well, I see the ferry's in," said Aunt Phoebe, appearing in the doorway with a dripping canvas tote in each hand. "You've missed dinner, but there's plenty of leftovers. Smithfield ham, potato salad--"

"No thanks," I said.

"Maybe later," Michael added.

"Hell, they just got off the ferry; they're probably sick as dogs," cackled Mother's best friend, Mrs. Fenniman, appearing behind Aunt Phoebe with her own pair of tote bags. "Leave them in peace till their guts stop heaving."

Although Mrs. Fenniman was absolutely right, I wished she hadn't emphasized the word
heaving
quite so forcefully. My stomach gave a queasy lurch, as if to say, Okay, time to pay attention to me.

"Is the ferry going back tonight?" came a voice from above our heads. I looked up, to see my brother, Rob, standing on the upstairs landing, rubbing his eyes as if he'd just awakened.

"My God," I said. "Is everyone in Yorktown up here? Yikes!"

I jumped as something cold and wet touched my ankle.

"What the devil is Spike doing here?" Michael asked, looking down at the small black-and-white fur ball at my feet. Although Spike was Michael's mother's dog, he had never liked Michael. He looked up for a moment, curled his lip at Michael, and returned to his favorite pastime of licking me obsessively. He didn't seem to mind the mud.

"Your mother asked me to baby-sit him for the weekend," Rob said. "And when I had to drive up here, there wasn't anything I could do but bring him along. You want to take charge of him?"

"Thanks, but you'll probably get back to Yorktown before I do," Michael said. He didn't like Spike any more than Spike liked him. Of course, Spike didn't really like anyone but Michael's mother and me. And I'd never figured out why he liked me. The feeling certainly wasn't mutual.

"True, I'm heading home as soon as possible," Rob said. "Speaking of which, I'd probably better get my bag and head down to the ferry."

"I doubt the ferry's going anywhere tonight," I said. "And trust me, if it was, you wouldn't want to be on it. For a tropical storm that's heading out to sea to die, this one still has a lot of life left in it."

"That's because it isn't heading out to sea to die," Mrs. Fenniman said, pouring herself some tea. "It just went out to sea long enough to pick up steam. It's back up to a hurricane again and has turned around to take another run at the coast."

"What?"

"It's true; I just heard it on the radio," Mrs. Fenniman said with the good cheer she usually displayed when she had managed to scoop everyone else with news of a scandal or disaster.

"Oh great," Rob said. "I guess that means I'm stuck here for the duration."

He threw himself down on one of the couches and assumed a martyred air. Along with Mother's slender height and aristocratic blond looks, he'd inherited her talent for self-dramatization.

"Don't be gloomy," Dad said. He stood before the hearth, apparently trying to set the back of his pants on fire. His short, round form and the way the firelight played on his bald head made him look like a mischievous gnome. "Look on the bright side," he added. "After all these years, we'll finally get to see what really happens here during a hurricane!"

"Yippee," Rob mumbled without enthusiasm.

"Oh dear," Mother murmured.

"Don't worry, Margaret," Aunt Phoebe said. She had shed her dripping rain gear and was tying a green-and-orange-flowered apron over her stout khaki-clad form. "We've got plenty of food and fuel. We may have to rough it for a bit, but we'll come through just fine."

Mother looked relieved. After all, she knew better than anyone that Aunt Phoebe's idea of roughing it meant using the checked gingham napkins instead of the starched linen, and that the caviar might be tinned instead of fresh.

"Time we got busy," Mrs. Fenniman said. She had donned a flowered apron identical to Aunt Phoebe's, though it looked odd over her usual black clothes and scrawny frame. The two of them hefted their tote bags and disappeared into the kitchen.

"We can go out on the cliffs at Green Point and actually see the storm hit!" Dad went on. "Won't that be fantastic!"

"Oh, James, you mustn't!" Mother protested.

"Won't that be dangerous?" Michael asked. I looked at him with astonishment and more than a little dismay. He sounded as if he might actually be considering Dad's suggestion. Much as I adored my father, I'd always sworn never to get involved with someone who did the kind of crazy things Dad did. And yet, there it was again: I could see on Michael's face that same look of lovable but daft enthusiasm. Oh dear, I thought. Dad had spread a small map of Monhegan over the coffee table and was scribbling madly on it--apparently trying to calculate the best spot to await the hurricane's arrival. Michael leaned over to watch.

"Count me out," Rob said. "I have to work on Lawyers from Hell."

Mother sighed. The whole family was still anxiously waiting to see if Rob had, by chance, passed the bar exam in July. Since he and his bar exam review group had whiled away the summer inventing a role-playing game called Lawyers from Hell instead of doing anything that even vaguely resembled studying, the odds were slim.

"I really ought to be back in Yorktown working on it," Rob said. What he meant was that he wanted to be back in Yorktown talking about bits and bytes with Red, his new girlfriend, who was helping him turn Lawyers from Hell into a computer game.

"How on earth did you get here anyway?" I asked, taking Rob aside.

"We came over on the ferry yesterday," he said.

"Well, I figured out that much," I said. "I meant, what are all of you doing up here in the first place?"

"Dad called to say they were flying home from Paris and could I meet them at Dulles Airport," Rob said. "Their plane got in very early yesterday morning. And Aunt Phoebe and Mrs. Fenniman hitched a ride up to Washington with me so they could catch a flight to Maine to go birding. But the flight got canceled because of the hurricane, and instead of going back to Yorktown, Aunt Phoebe convinced Mother and Dad to come up here with her. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for a little privacy," Michael put in.

"Good luck," Rob said with a snicker, and slipped out of the room--probably to call Red and indulge in a little long-distance whining. Or heavy breathing.

Well, Rob isn't the only one doomed to disappointment in his love life for the immediate future, I thought, glancing at Michael as I sat back down beside him. Here I was, sitting with the man of my dreams on an overstuffed sofa by a roaring fire, just as I'd imagined in my fantasies about this weekend. But having to share the experience with my entire family took a lot of the fun out of it.

I felt guilty about resenting their presence. They were all trying so hard to make us feel better. Of course, this meant that every five minutes one of them would pop up with either a new remedy for seasickness or a new tactic for preventing pneumonia. And I'd taken a head count and compared it to the number of bedrooms and figured out that I'd probably be sleeping on one of the sofas.

"Now the phone's out," Rob announced, shuffling back into the room and throwing himself on the other sofa.

"Usually happens in a storm," Aunt Phoebe said, shoving a cup of herbal tea into my hands.

"I wouldn't mind so much if I could just use my laptop," Rob said.

"Can't you just ran it on battery?" Michael asked.

"I could, except the battery's old; it only holds about a fifteen-minute charge," Rob said. "And it takes me ten minutes to boot up and figure out how to open my word processor."

"I tell you what," Dad said. "Let's ran an extension cord up to the Dickermans' house. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

Whether the Dickermans would mind or not was irrelevant; I doubted they could resist Dad when he got his mind set on doing something.

"Ugh," Rob said, and sneezed. A patently phony sneeze, I thought; obviously designed to serve as an excuse for not sloshing out in the rain with Dad. But it served its purpose. Mother, Aunt Phoebe, and Mrs. Fenniman immediately turned their full attention to medicating Rob. I took advantage of the distraction to pour my herbal tea into an already-moribund potted plant.

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