Muse - Fighting Fate #1 (20 page)

Chapter 33

Mia

It actually amazed me how good it felt to have everything out in the open. I’d always thought having a lot of attention on me would be too much. Overwhelming. What I hadn’t taken into consideration was how much having Jace beside me would counteract the anxiety. Sitting there in Jace’s arms like that, I really didn’t care who was watching. I just knew that as long as he was with me, I would always be okay. Knowing that now made me a little pissed that I hadn’t taken the plunge ages ago. Freaking hindsight.

Kaeli and I had left the guys behind so they could go set up for their gig, and went to go raid Kaeli’s wardrobe for party clothes. Jace had told me he’d come over around seven so we could all head over to the GV together, so we had a few hours to get organized.

Sitting on Kaeli’s bed, I waited for her to come out of her closet with whatever suggestions she had for me.

She emerged
a few minutes later with a little red strapless dress. It was made of chiffon with ruching over the bust, and had two rows of rhinestones above the waistline and two layers of chiffon over the skirt.

I bit my lip. “It’s a little short isn’t it?”

She waved it off. “It just looks like it on the hanger. Wait until you put it on. It’ll be perfect. Trust me.” She pushed it at me then disappeared back into her closet. “Put it on,” she called out from the depths.

Dutifully, I stripped off a
nd zipped it on. “Okay, it’s on,” I called.

Kaeli stepped out of the closet and grinned. “Perfect.”

I walked over to the mirror and took a look for myself. I blinked at my reflection. Shit. Was that really me? I looked so different. “It’s showing a lot of leg…” I said doubtfully.

“Yes, but you’ve got the best legs I’ve ever seen
, Mia. You have to show them off at least a little. It’s not like it’s so short people are going to see your underwear when you bend over like most of the skanks that go to these parties.”

Yeah, she was right about that. I saw what those girls wore to school. I’d hate to think what they partied in. “You think it looks okay?” I asked.

“Mia, you look amazing.”

I scrutinised my reflection a little more, still unsure then took a deep breath. I had to start somewhere. “Okay, let’s go then.”

Kaeli squealed and clapped her hands. “Yay!” Then rushing back into her closet, she came out with a few more items of clothing and some shoes while I changed back into my street clothes.

Throwing everything into a bag, we jumped back in Kaeli’s car and
drove to my place.

After checking that Aiden had actually invited Mom to come like he said he would, I went and had a quick shower to freshen up.

When it was Kaeli’s turn, I decided it was time to talk to Mom. It didn’t feel right that everyone else knew about me and Jace, and she didn’t.

Finding her in her room,
I hesitantly sat down on her bed. “Mom?”

She looked up at the uncertainty in my voice
, her mom-meter flaring to life. “What’s the matter, baby?”

I inhaled deeply, pushing back the nerves.
“I need to talk to you.”

She came to sit at the end of the bed so she was face to face with me and waited while I worked up the courage to say what I wanted.

“Jace and I are dating,” I blurted.

The surprise on her face was
more than obvious. “Oh...wow...okay. That was not what I was expecting,” she said, blinking a few times. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised after the way you both seemed so comfortable with each other the other day. When did this happen?”

I fiddled
with my hands, twisting my fingers together, still way nervous. It was important Mom be okay with me being with Jace. “Well...I suppose we first realised there was something there in Aspen. Jace was really great after the avalanche. He looked after me – made me feel safe, you know? But I guess we’ve only been really seeing each other for a couple of weeks.”

She nodded. I could tell she was trying to look at it from an objective point of view – let i
t sink in. I decided to keep going while she thought about it.

“I guess I haven’t been very fair on him. I haven’t let him tell any
one we’re together. I just knew it would be a big thing, you know? Obviously, the guys are all really popular right now, and he’s always got girls throwing themselves at him.” I sighed. “Just the thought of people staring and talking about us made me anxious, but over the last couple of weeks I’ve tried sitting with Jace and Aiden at lunch for a little bit each day, and it’s getting easier.” I smiled, and Mom smiled too, knowing just how big that was for me.

My
bravado slipped though when I thought of that afternoon. “I had a panic attack this afternoon.”

Mom’s
eyes widened. “Are you okay? What happened?”

I swallowed
. “I forgot about the pep rally, and I got caught in the middle of the crowd as they left the gym. Scared the shit out of me”

“Oh, baby, are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded and a tiny smile came to my lips when I thought of how it ended. “Jace found me. He held me and got me through it. Aiden was there too, talking to me – and Kaeli.”

“Oh
, thank God.”

“Mom?
” I said softly. “I really like him.”

She stared at me for a few heartbeats before smiling gently.
“That much, huh?”

I nodded.
“He makes me feel safe. I don’t care about the people when he’s with me. After this afternoon, Aiden knows that we like each other – and I guess most of the school does too, considering they all walked past while he was holding me, so it didn’t feel right for you not to know.”

“Thank you
, baby. I love that you can tell me anything.”

I swallowed.
“So, you’d be okay with Jace spending some time with me? Here?”

“Of course
, baby.” Then, after a moment’s thought, she frowned. “Maybe not in your room though...”

I inhaled deeply, working my way up to say what I really wanted to say.
“I get that. I do, but Mom – I want to go on the pill.”

Her
eyes widened a fraction. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you to rush into anything...”

“I know
, Mom, and I won’t. I just know what I feel for him, and I’d rather be prepared.”

She sighed
. “I really want to tell you no, but I know that’d be stupid. You’re eighteen, and I guess in this day and age, I’m lucky it hasn’t happened sooner, but baby, sex isn’t just a physical act – well not for women anyway. For women, emotion will always be tied to sex. Yes, you’ll get the occasional girl who says she just likes it, but more often than not, having sex is linked directly to some emotion – whether it’s making her feel wanted, or loved, or sexy, there’s always some underlying factor. I just want you to be aware of the emotions that can come from it, because you, my beautiful girl, have a lot of buried emotions inside you. Having sex with someone you love will bring all of it out, and while it would definitely make it a beautiful experience, it could very well overwhelm you.”

I sat staring at my
mother, stunned. She had no idea how right she was, but I couldn’t exactly tell her that. I nodded, letting her know I understood.

“But, we
’ll go to the doctors tomorrow anyway, because I agree with you about being prepared, and because I always knew that when you finally fell for someone, you’d fall hard.”

I reached
over and gave her a hug. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too
, baby.”

I left her room, feeling happier than I remembered being for a very long time.
I finally had a reason to get past my anxiety.

Kaeli and I spent the next hour getting ready for my first official night out. Mom helped me set my hair into more orderly curls and then went to work on my makeup, applying only the bare necessities that would apparently enhance my natural beauty
. Whatever that meant.

When Mom left us to go get ready herself, I dug out my lacy, red strapless bra and panties, quickly showing Kaeli with a glint in my eyes before disappearing to put them on. When I came out, Kaeli was already dressed, wearing a black mini skirt with a vibrant blue satin top. She looked up as I walked in and clapped her hands with a grin.

I smiled and shook my head, just as I heard Aiden calling out from the lounge. Two seconds later, there was a knock on my door. Shit. I wasn’t ready. Physically, I was good. Mentally, not so good. Gesturing to Kaeli to answer it, I ducked into my closet and hid.

“Oh...um...does Mia still want to come?” I heard Aiden ask.

“Yep. We’re nearly ready.”

There was silence for a second or two. “You look really nice by the way.” I almost giggled hearing him compliment Kaeli, but then I wondered if he was ‘complimenting’ complimenting her.

“Thanks.” Kaeli didn’t sound too flushed, so I guessed not.

“We’ll be out in the lounge waiting then.”

“Okay. Is Jace here?”

“Yeah, he’s out in the lounge.”

I heard the door close and came out of hiding.

“Here, put these on,” Kaeli said, throwing me a silver chain necklace and thick bangle.

I didn’t argue and just did as I was told, watching Kaeli do the same with a few long necklaces and bangles. We both slipped into our shoes and grabbed our phones, officially ready.

We stood there and stared at each other. I bit
my lip, suddenly nervous as hell. “Do I look okay?”

Kaeli gave me a kind smile. “Beautiful.”

I gazed at Kaeli for a few long moments then took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s do this.”

The carpeted hall concealed my footsteps
, so the boys didn’t hear me coming. I could tell the exact moment when they saw me though, because their conversation stopped so abruptly it was like someone had pushed a mute button. I quickly searched their faces, seeking the approval I needed before I’d step foot outside the house.

Aiden’s eyes were wide and his jaw seemed to have gone slack, so I couldn’t exactly tell if that was a good sign or not. Jace on the other hand, his eyes flashed dark with hunger for a second, but then his whole face shut down, showing no emotion what-so-ever.

Aiden stood up and glared at me. “You can’t be serious, Mia. You’re not coming to the gig looking like that!”

My self-conscious meter instantly shot through the roof
. “What? Why?”

Kaeli
stepped out from behind me and put her hands on her hips. “Like what? She looks amazing! Doesn’t she, Jace?”

Aiden
turned to glare at Jace. “Don’t tell me you’re okay with her stepping foot outside the front door like that?”

Jace look
ed from me to Aiden and back again, weariness spreading over his face. “Uh...”

All of a sudden, I was angry. I had no idea what the hell was going on
. “Okay, all of you know I’m not very good at this, and I have no idea what I’m doing, so I need someone to tell me why I look so bad, right now!”

Aiden
growled and rubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck! It’s not that you look bad, Mia. It’s more that you look...too...”

He left his sentence hanging open, confusing me even more.
Jace looked at me and took a step forward. “What he’s trying to say is, you look too…sexy...”

Kaeli
laughed. “That’s the whole freaking point!”

I tried
to comprehend what they were all saying. “I don’t understand. Aiden, are you saying you think I look like a slut?”

His eyes widen
ed. “No, of course not, you just look too...good.”

“You look gorgeous, Mia,” Kaeli sa
id, flashing both of the guys a warning glare. “The only problem Aiden has, is that he doesn’t want any guys checking out his sister, and the only problem Jace has, even though he’s more than happy to show up with such an incredibly beautiful girl as his girlfriend, is that he doesn’t want her to look so good that every other guy will go home and fantasize about her.”

Everyone went
silent after Kaeli’s accusations. I glanced from face to face, trying to work out what all of it meant. “Okay, I’m still confused. Do I look acceptable or not?” I pointedly looked at Jace, because at the end of the day, it was his opinion that mattered.

“Okay, this is
the only way I can explain this,” Jace said, stepping up to me after a second’s silence. “If you come to the gig dressed like that, just be aware that I will not let you out of my sight for even a second, and if anyone so much as looks at you like he’s about to go home to fantasize about you, I will beat the shit out of them. Does that make it a little clearer?”

I grinned
sheepishly. “Yes, thank you.”

Jace grin
ned back at me before pulling me in for a hug and brushing a quick kiss across my lips. “You’re welcome.”