My Best Friend's Brother (17 page)

She needs a convertible.

On the carpet, she patted the floor beside her. I sat. She reached for her stereo remote and turned on Celine Dion. Then she started skipping songs like every song reminded her of some guy she didn’t want to remember. She stopped on
Incredible
.

I had a hard time understanding what the problem was with her and Luke, or her and Burke, for that matter. Burke always seemed very nice to me. He’s not around a whole lot the evenings I’m over, but when he is, he’s a real pleasure to be around. Her mom speaks so highly of him, too.

“I’m depressed,” she mumbled, reaching into the bottom drawer of her dresser. She threw a stack of photos by my feet. “Florida.”

They were pictures of her and her bikini-clad cousins on the beach. “Is this the guy you met?” I asked, pointing to a dark-haired, gray-eyed guy with his arm wrapped around her.

“That’s Jason,” she said with a nod. “He said he liked me. Then I told him I don’t agree with sleeping with someone I’d known a mere day, and he vanished.” She shook her head, her eyes narrowed. “I hope a shark ate him.”

A guy dumping
her
? My guess is he drowned. “Sucks.”

“Tell me about it! You know, guys put way too much pressure on me.” She looked at me. “I’m sure you know what that’s like.”

Her mom called her down. After a grumpy, “I’ll be right back,” she hurried out.

I sat alone for a while. I jumped in place when the door opened and I saw him there.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“No, you just startled me.” I made room for him on the carpet, but to my embarrassment, he just stood there, leaning into the door frame. After a silent second, I asked, “What’s up with you sitting at Tom and Jake’s table?”

He chuckled. “I won’t be sitting with them again. There aren’t enough tables in that cafeteria. It beats sitting with the pink witch, though.” His eyes moved around the room and settled on me. They were icy blue and steaming hot all at once.

I licked my lips. “Why won’t you sit with them again?” I asked to keep him talking—I wasn’t complaining.

“First off, they were bugging me to smoke pot after school. I don’t think an Olympian can do that and still be an Olympian. Second, they only talked to me because we broke up.” He cleared his throat. “So yeah, hanging out with people just to have a lunch table is bullshit. I’m doing McDonald’s or Denny’s from now on.”

I wasn’t aware that we broke up, I thought it was just a fight.

Or maybe I hoped.

My gaze fell to my feet. The words “I love you” clogged my throat. And I was afraid my eyes would give it away.

“I’m moving back to California with my dad,” he said. “I’m gonna finish high school there. Nothing to stay here for anyway.”

California?

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. A sob caught in my throat. I was devastated. This guy made me fall for him, made me love him, took my virginity and was leaving forever. Not that he worked very hard to get any of that.

And yet, the only regret I had was driving away.

“What do you think about that?” he asked.

I wanted to beg him to stay. I wanted to tell him I loved him so much that it hurt. I wanted to tell him he was breaking my heart. But all that came out was an angry, “Do what you want!”

I’m so freaking stubborn!

“Okay. Well, later.” He made it sound so easy, tears began to roll.

He turned just as Lilly walked back in. She shut the door behind her, sat back in her spot and gave me a gift box. “My mom found your present. And the Minnie Mouse and earrings are still downstairs.” She was taken aback. “Are you
crying?
”

I opened the box. It was a cute palm tree pendant, silver with emeralds. I shook my head no, but I’m a pitiful liar.

She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did Luke upset you?”

“He’s moving!” I burst into tears, completely breaking down.

She frowned.

“I don’t want him to move,” I sobbed. “Lilly, you were gone a few weeks and I fell so hard for him. So fast, it’s crazy. I know it looks bad, but I never felt this way about anyone. I love him!”

She cradled me. “Did you tell him?”

“I can’t! He doesn’t feel the same. He’s leaving.”

She pulled the hairs out of my eyes and cupped her hands around my face. “
Tell him
. I know he loves you. He told me. And not in a nice way.”

I tried to stop crying. “You and I will be better friends anyway.”

She let go of my face and slapped her thighs. “Look, I told you I was sorry. You’re miserable now. And he’s miserable too. And both of you are making
me
miserable! So just
tell him
,” she pleaded. She got to her feet and pulled on my hands. “Come on. If you don’t, you’ll both regret it.”

I grabbed a Kleenex from her dresser and wiped my eyes. My makeup looked like crap.

She pushed me out the door. “Go, go,” she urged. I walked down the hall and knocked. Lilly retreated to her room.

He opened it on my third knock and moved aside for me. I walked in and he shut the door. His room’s pretty dull—a window, a queen-size bed, an oak dresser and a stereo. Not really what I expected from a guy’s room. Well, except for the dirty socks scattered around the frame of his bed. Kind of gross.

But you could eat off of his floor compared to Sullivan’s.

He looked annoyed. I placed myself on his mattress and hugged my knees. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I
have to
go.”

“Why? Why do you
have
to go?”

“There’s no reason to stay.”

Our eyes locked. He looked thoughtful. “Do you love me?” I asked, getting to my feet awkwardly. “Because
I
still love
you
.”

He looked toward the window. “You didn’t act like you loved me last Thursday.”

Aren’t I entitled to
one
mistake? “I love you,” I breathed in frustration. “I’m really sorry.”

“So am I.” He took a step closer, nuzzled my cheek, and kissed me that mind-boggling way. I pulled him closer, kissing back vicariously. His hand crawled up my shirt, resting on my waist. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in. Not only did he manage to make me weak, but he put me in a mood, too.

And
then
he said, “This won’t work” and let me go.

“Seriously?!” I cried. Tears flooded my cheeks. “Why don’t you love me?” I pleaded pathetically.

He touched the side of my face. “We started off on the wrong foot.” He stepped back and rubbed his eyes. “I’ve got to pack.”

I took hold of his hand, but he pulled it away. “Can’t you talk to me, at least?”

“Look, there’s nothing to say. You
dumped me
because of my sister! You know how much that hurt?”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I didn’t even dump you, I just drove away! I thought it was just a fight!”

“I’m sorry, too.” He leaned his back against the wall and slid his thumbs into his pockets. “Maybe it’s time for you to leave.”

“I don’t want to leave. I want to
talk
.”

His voice grew progressively loud. “I don’t want to talk! I want you to
leave
! This was doomed from the start!” He hurried over to a drawer, grabbed an armful of clothes and dumped them in the suitcase on his bed. He stopped two feet short of me. “I’m gonna call my dad, see if he can get a ticket for Friday.”

“Well, what about us living together after we graduate?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Do you seriously think
Lilly
will be okay with that?”

“Yes! Ask her!”

“I’m done talking to her. She has a tendency to make drama out of absolutely nothing.”

“Go ask her! She doesn’t care. She just wants us to be happy! Why don’t you?”

“
Me?
You two started this!”

“So now we’re at fault and you’re not!”

“I’m at fault for withholding information. The two of you are at fault for
overreacting!
” He sighed. “Just go home. Sit with
Jenna
, have her hook you up with some jocks, go to college, and leave me alone!”

My mouth dropped. Was he implying that I’d turned into
Jenna
for sitting at her lunch table
once
? I tried to contain myself, but the words shot out like bullets. “Well then, how about you go hang out with my jerky ex and his stupid stoner friend and brag about how fast
you
scored!”

“How
fast
I scored? You think that’s all I wanted? Bragging rights?” He scowled. “Did I ever beg? Was I
ever
anything less than a gentleman? If I was please enlighten me, so I can kick my own ass. I don’t care if it took weeks, or if it took years. That’s not what I’m about. And I don’t appreciate being
treated
like that’s all I’m about!”

I recoiled. “I’m sorry,” I managed.

He gathered his thoughts. “You know what? If I
knew
I’d be in this much trouble with you drama queens over this taboo brother-dating bullshit, I would still have done it. I would
still
have kept it from you, for as long as possible. Just for another day with you. Not to
score
, just to
be
with you. You were worth it, Adonia.”

“But,” he added, “you deserve better than another asshole looking to
score
.”

My heart was in pieces. Never before did my mouth get me into this sort of trouble. “I didn’t mean to hurt—”

“Well, you
did
.”

I put my hands on my hips, trying to think of a way to save whatever dignity I had left. “You broke my heart, Luke.”

“And whose fault is that?” he demanded.

“I was humiliated, Luke. What does your mom think of me!”

His look softened. “The same thing she
always
thought of you—you’re her second daughter. My mom loves you.
Addie
.”

I looked at him through a film of tears. I hadn’t been called
Addie
since the ninth grade. Since the girl down the road got that butt-ugly buck tooth hairless chihuahua and gave it my pet name.

Yeah, that suddenly made
Adonia
an awesome name.

“I didn’t talk to her often, but every time I called she talked about you,” he said somberly. “She said your name is Addie. That you’re always so sweet and well-mannered. That your mom is always gone. Even when my sister was grounded, she let her sleep at your place so you’re less lonely; so her attempts at discipline never worked. She baked you cookies, styled your hair…put gifts for you under our tree.”

My knees grew weak. Memories flooded my mind and tears drenched my eyes.

“She said maybe someday I’d meet a girl like Addie.” His eyes glossed over. “And when I did, I had no clue it was you.”

I sobbed, because that’s all I could do.

He sighed. And after a thoughtful minute—like something serious didn’t just happen—he said, “I should pack.”

He’s
still
leaving?

I’d reached my breaking point. “You’re nothing but heartbreak, Luke!” I blared. “Leave me alone!”

He crossed his arms. “I
can’t
leave you alone. You’re
in my room
.”

At that, I shoved him aside and stormed out. Within seconds I was out the front door, down the driveway and on the road. He actually called after me, even though leaving was
his
idea.

Outside it was dark and cold. I hugged myself for warmth. My coat and tee shirt weren’t quite cutting it.

Tears froze to my cheeks. It was below zero, and I walked for about half a mile before I felt like I could walk no more.

I could not believe what my life had come to. I lost a super-hot sweetheart of a boyfriend, I probably put my best friend in the worst position ever, I screwed up Mom’s Jeep, I ruined Dad’s career, I flunked math, and I’m probably going to flunk everything else, too. I’m probably not going to graduate, go to college, or do anything my parents want for me. I’ll make an awful living; I’ll earn my pathetic summer-job paychecks for the rest of my life! I’ll be a complete failure.

But I’m a failure to Mom anyway. Mom won’t care.

Dad
will care. Dad’s the
only
one who cares.

My fingers were numb, the tip of my nose nearly frozen. Two cars pulled over to ask if I needed a ride. I refused stubbornly. I was furious.

When I finally walked through the front door, my entire body was pale. I lit a fire in the wood stove and sat on the carpet, legs folded, watching the flames grow. My anger grew with them as my body thawed. Somehow, the cold had numbed the pain—now the pain was back. I couldn’t stop shivering.

Footsteps descended the stairs. They stopped at the bottom, in the foyer. “Are you okay?”

“Where’s Dad?” I asked numbly.

“He’s meeting with his agent.”

Great. I’d just walked
three miles
, and he wasn’t even home to see me meet curfew! I stared blankly into the fire and pulled the blanket off the couch over my shoulders. My eyes were soaked.

I don’t know how long I sat there, but when Sullivan finally sat beside me, he handed me a cup of hot chocolate, topped with a mountain of marshmallows. “Thanks,” I breathed.

“You’re welcome,” he said. Then he sipped out of his cup and tucked his hair behind his ears. “I’m your brother,” he said, “so if anyone were to upset you, you’d let me know so I can beat them up, right?”

I began to sob. Before I can answer, though, the phone rang. Sullivan answered it. “It’s Mom.”

While I was not in the mood to talk, I was happy she called. I took the phone.

“Hi,” she said like I was an acquaintance.

“Hi, Mom.”

“What happened with the Jeep?”

My shivers came back. “I ran off the road because it was icy.”

“Well, I’ve decided you are not to drive the new one. Did your father get the message? I told him one week, but I’ve decided you need to learn some responsibility first!”

The
message
? She never even
talked
to him, she left him a
message
? “It was an accident, Mom.”

“Yes, and it’s not going to happen again,” she assured me.

“Why didn’t you call to see if I was okay?” I blurted, fearful of the answer. Despite my anger, my tone was composed, like I didn’t want to piss her off, no matter how much she upset me.