Authors: Amanda Hocking
Tags: #paranormal romance, #urban fantasy, #young adult
There was also some rather juicy gossip
about this boy, Troy, at school, who Milo deemed “utterly foxy” and
then blushed so red, it looked like he’d been burned.
Apparently, the young man in question had
made some rather flirtatious advances towards Milo in gym class,
and he didn’t know how to reciprocate. Jack advised him not to make
any moves at school, in case things are being misinterpreted, he
wouldn’t want an audience. Milo agreed that he should do some fact
checking on Twitter and Facebook, and then maybe he’d escalate to
text messaging from there.
It was getting late, and Milo started
mentioning an Intro to Business test he had to study for, so Jack
took him home. I rode with, just for the fun of it, and Milo was
still an endless stream of conversation. He explained the finer
points of running a small business, and Jack somehow managed to
sound interested in all of it.
“
That was fun,” Jack
grinned at me once Milo had gotten out of the car.
“
I don’t know if you’re
being sarcastic or not, but it really was.” Then I smiled
gratefully at him. “Thank you. For bringing him over. I really
missed him.”
“
It sounds like he missed
you, too.” Sadly, he sighed, and at first, I didn’t understand why.
We had all had fun, so I didn’t see what could be so depressing
about that. “This isn’t going to be quite so clean cut for you, not
like it was for me.”
“
You mean leaving your
family?” I asked. Up until Mae mentioned his family the other day,
I hadn’t heard anything about them. The only thing Jack had ever
told me was that he was from Stillwater.
“
Yeah. My dad was a
bastard, but he was dead anyway. My mom hated me because she hated
all men, and my sister barely knew me. There was nothing to miss,
nothing to leave behind.” Pursing his lips, he turned to me. “Not
like you. He’ll be devastated when you go.”
“
I know.” Tears were
brimming at my eyes, and I blinked them back.
“
Don’t think that I’m
saying this because I don’t want you to turn. You know how badly I
want you to.” The way he said it made him sound desperate for me to
turn, but I understood. “But I know this isn’t going to be easy for
you. And I don’t want you to make your decisions based on me or
anyone else.”
“
I won’t.”
My heart pulled me into separate directions,
and the only solution seemed to be to tear it in two.
Peter still hadn’t returned from the
business trip, and I still hadn’t made a decision. My entire life
felt like it was at an impasse.
To keep me busy, Jack had taken me to a play
and the zoo, but neither of those things really alleviated anything
that was going on. Everything felt so up in the air, and I knew
that I had to deal with things before the uncertainty killed
me.
As soon as I woke up, I went downstairs, in
my jammies with my hair all messed up and my eyes full of sleep.
Ezra sat on the chaise lounge, reading a book, and Mae sat near his
feet, doing a large puzzle on the hardwood floor.
When I had gotten up, I heard the shower
running in Jack’s room, so I assumed that’s where he was. He’d be
otherwise occupied, making the conversation easier.
“
Is something the matter?”
Ezra looked me over.
“
Are you alright, love?”
Mae chimed in, looking equally worried.
“
When is Peter coming
home?” I asked.
“
I don’t know for sure.”
Ezra adjusted himself so he was sitting up fully. “Would you like
me to call him and find out?”
“
What’s going to happen
when he comes home?” I crossed my arms on my chest, trying to look
tough, even though I knew it was as ridiculous as it sounded.
“Well?”
“
We don’t know exactly,”
Ezra answered carefully.
“
He hates me.” Just saying
it aloud it hurt, but it didn’t change any of the facts. “Or if you
prefer, he hates the way he feels about me. That’s not gonna change
when he comes home, is it?”
“
We don’t really understand
what’s happening with the two of you. I can’t answer that,” Ezra
said evasively.
“
What are you trying to
find out?” Mae asked.
“
If Peter doesn’t want me,
then what’s the point of me turning?” I asked. They exchanged looks
but didn’t immediately answer me. “Are you expecting that he’ll
magically change his mind when he gets back?”
“
Not really, no,” Ezra
admitted honestly.
“
Then what is the point of
all of this?” I gestured to everything around me, wondering what
they were getting out of putting me up and hanging around me like
this.
“
All of what?” Jack bounded
down the stairs and into the living room, running a hand through
his damp hair, and I grimaced inwardly. I had decided to have this
talk now was because I knew he wouldn’t be around.
“
She wants to know what’s
going to happen once Peter comes back,” Ezra explained when it
appeared that I wouldn’t.
I shifted uneasily and looked over Jack, who
had suddenly become very nervous. His blue eyes flitted over me,
then he turned to Ezra and Mae for help.
Ezra had discarded his book on the chaise,
and Mae smiled helplessly towards us. I knew they didn’t have a
good answer. Things had been set in motion, and while they didn’t
really have any plans to change them, there was no real reason for
them to move forward anymore.
“
He’s not gonna want me,
Jack,” I said miserably. “What’s the point of me
turning?”
“
What’s the point of anyone
turning?” Jack scoffed and looked away from me. “Come on, Alice.
There isn’t a point to any of this!”
“
There has to be a point!”
I shouted, surprised by the quavering in my voice. It was just
starting to hit me what I was saying, what I was rejecting, and I
could tell by the stunned, hurt expression on his face that it was
sinking in too. “If I’m going to destroy my brother’s life, it has
to be for a reason!”
“
You’re not going to
destroy his life!” Jack rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes.
“So what if Peter doesn’t ever change his mind? Good! I hope he
doesn’t! They want you here! I want you here!”
“
Doesn’t that give me even
more of a reason not to turn?” I gave him a hard look. The kiss
wanted to replay itself in my mind, but I couldn’t let it, or Jack
might react to my heartbeat.
“
That doesn’t even make
sense.”
He tried to pretend like he didn’t
understand, but the quick movement of his eyes led me to believe he
did. That kiss had been incredible, and the risk of us doing it
again was too great. He would’ve bit me if Mae hadn’t walked in,
and we couldn’t count on her to walk in at just the right moment
every time we were alone.
“
Jack, it’s not good for
either of us for me to stay around,” I told him with tears in my
eyes.
“
No!” Jack insisted
fiercely. “That’s just stupid! I don’t know what went wrong. I
don’t know why your blood is for him, but it’s a mistake! Okay?
You’re not supposed to be for him! And there’s gotta be a way
around it! It may take time, but we have all of eternity to figure
it out! You really wanna throw that away just because I don’t have
the answer right now?”
“
Why did you even introduce
me to him?” I blurted out. “If I had never met him, this wouldn’t
have happened! This wouldn’t have mattered! Why did you push me on
him?”
“
I never pushed you on him,
never!” He took a step towards me, then changed his mind, and took
a step back. Shaking his head, he breathed deeply. “I didn’t know
any of this. I wasn’t reacting right to you, and they thought that
you were for Peter. And I didn’t realize what I…” He trailed off,
looking at the floor.
“
You two had connected in a
way that none of had realized,” Ezra elaborated. “It wasn’t until
he started feeling threatened by Peter that we appreciated what was
happening, and by then it was too late.”
Slowly, he got up and walked over to us,
attempting to relieve some of the tension.
“
None of us are trying to
pressure you into a decision, but Jack has made valid points,” Ezra
continued. “You turning isn’t about Peter, and it shouldn’t be. You
have a future with us, if you choose it.”
He nodded once at me, and then made an
imperceptible motion towards Mae. She rose quickly and they left
the room, leaving Jack and I alone.
We were supposed to hash things out and come
up with some kind of resolution, but I didn’t know how. It wasn’t
until I was yelling at Jack that I even knew it hurt me that he’d
ever wanted me to be with Peter.
I’d doubted everything since Ezra had
claimed that Jack had fallen in love with me. Because if he truly
loved me, then why would he ever want me to be with his
brother?
“
I’ve made a lot of
mistakes with you,” Jack admitted quietly. “But I need a chance to
rectify them. If you give me time, I swear I can make it up to
you.” He looked at me, his wounded blue eyes pleading with me to
stay.
I wanted nothing more than to be with him,
but would it really be worth it? I’d have to give up my brother,
and I’d still be trapped in something painful and inexorable with
his brother. We couldn’t actually be together, no matter what
decision I made.
“
If you give me time, I
know that between Ezra, Peter, and I, we can find a solution to
this.” Jack took a step towards me, trying to decide whether or not
to touch me, before finally deciding against it. “I promise you.
There is a way for it to work.”
“
That doesn’t answer
everything,” I said. In fact, that didn’t really answer anything.
It was just a vague promise to solve something someday, but it was
still a hard offer to resist.
“
Milo’s your brother, and
he’s a bright kid. He’s not gonna need you forever,” he pointed out
gently. “In a few more years, when he starts dating and going to
college, he’s not even gonna wanna be around you. It’s just for
right now that he needs you.”
“
That’s probably true.” I
was about to argue that it didn’t change anything, but then I
understood what he was getting at. “I’m still really young. I could
stay with Milo for another three or four years. I could still turn,
and I’d still be younger than you are.”
“
And we don’t have to move
for another three years or so,” Jack nodded in agreement. “Until
then, you can keep living with Milo, and Ezra and I can figure out
what we’re gonna do about all of this.”
“
Would that be okay?” I
asked, looking up at him.
“
Why wouldn’t it be?” He
shrugged, and he had calmed enough where he could grin at the idea.
“It’s just a couple years. It means nothing to us.”
“
You don’t care what I say
as long as I agree to be with you,” I smiled.
“
That’s probably
true.”
“
What if I decided not
change? And I got all and old wrinkly? Would you still want to be
around me then?”
“
How wrinkly are we talking
about?” Jack teased.
I tried to swat him playfully, but he
grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. His arms were strong and
reassuring around me, and he rested his hand on my cheek, gently
forcing me to look into his eyes. His skin was warming up, but he
tried not to notice.
“
This will work out.
Somehow,” he promised.
After talking it all over with Mae and Ezra,
they agreed with my decision. Time was inconsequential to them, and
Mae wanted me to have more time to consider everything.
They also agreed that for both Jack's sake
and mine, it would be better if I stayed at home until we got
things straightened out in the whole Peter arena. Mae had filled
Ezra in on the kiss, and he chastised us for such risky behavior.
Peter was a much stronger vampire than Jack, and a rather large
threat to both of us.
When I walked in the door with the massive
duffle bag slung over my shoulder, Milo was sitting at the
computer. As soon as he saw me, his entire face lit up and he
rushed over to me, throwing his arms tightly around me and almost
knocking me over.
“
You’re back!” he
squealed.
“
Sure am.” I pried him off,
smiling at his exuberance. “Do you think Mom’ll mind?”
“
I don’t know why she
would!” Milo looked like he was going to explode. He had truly
believed that I wasn’t coming back, and for awhile, so had I.
“She’s at work right now, but I’m sure she won’t care.”
“
I hope not.” I knew I had
some penance to do with her, and I wasn’t looking forward to that.
Or getting up for school the next morning, especially since I had
spent the last few nights on a vampire sleeping
schedule.
“
Why did you come
back?”
“
I figured that somebody
had to be here to help take care of you.” I reached out and ruffled
his hair, and he pulled away, just like I thought he
would.
“
I’m not a little kid.” He
smoothed out his hair, but I hadn’t even really messed it up. “And
besides that, I spend more time taking care of you than you do
me.”
“
That is true,” I
smiled.
Milo had never really needed anyone to do
anything for him. He just kinda wanted somebody to be there, and I
could at least manage that.